


Konoha's Fatal Joke

by EnvoyofKairos



Category: Naruto
Genre: Adopted Uzumaki Naruto, Adoption, BAMF everyone, Butterfly Effect, Eventual Character Death, Fuuinjutsu Master Uzumaki Naruto, Good Kyuubi | Nine-tails | Kurama, Kurama is more nuetral than good, Logical Extremes, Minor Original Character(s), No Bashing, Original Missions, Original Pet Fox, Original Weapons, Pack leader Kiba, Slow Romance, Sniper Hinata, Stronger Villains, Trans Haku, Trap Master Naruto, Undecided Relationship(s), Upgrades For Everyone
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-08
Updated: 2021-02-16
Packaged: 2021-03-18 15:21:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 24
Words: 102,201
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28620231
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EnvoyofKairos/pseuds/EnvoyofKairos
Summary: People forget what truly makes a shinobi terrifying: Ingenuity, stealth, versatility, and creativity. Too many rookies focus entirely on brute strength. Oh, if only they could see the little monsters in the shadows, laughing at their ignorance. Laughing as they step straight into a certain blonde brat's trap- a fatal prank- that'll be remembered for centuries. Trap Master Naruto!Cross-posted from FF.net from the premiere of Chapter 23.
Relationships: Aburame Shino/Haku, Haruno Sakura/Uchiha Sasuke, Hyuuga Hinata/Uzumaki Naruto, Mitarashi Anko/Umino Iruka, Nara Shikamaru/Temari
Comments: 35
Kudos: 89





	1. Trickster's Mind, Hero's Heart

Few things can strike fear into the heart of a true warrior. What frightens them is a mark of what truly separates the novices from the experts. You ask a novice, and you'll hear them list off the names of a dozen or more notorious jonin or nukenin from various villages, and occasionally someone from their own village with an infamous temper. The likes of Uchiha Itachi and Momochi Zabuza are among the top listed, for obvious reasons. Behind them you'll occasionally hear Sasori of the Red Sands, and outside Kanoha, you'll hear tales of Hatake Kakashi. Few of them ever list the acting Kage of course, as they're essentially benched. Otherwise, they'd still be raving about The Professor, Sarutobi Hiruzen. If you ask any of these novices why they're afraid of these ninja in particular, they'll either speak of their vast list of achievements or destructive capability.

The experts are those that know why these ones are frightening and why there are others that could be far worse.

Stealth, versatility, and misdirection. Every year, countless novice shinobi join the ranks expecting to get by on overpowered techniques and combat prowess. These are the ones that forget what shinobi are meant to be. Ninjutsu are powerful, but their versatility is far more important, and the greatest of ninja must be able to utilize it to the fullest of their capability, either by mastering and expanding a small range of all-purpose techniques or becoming adept at so many that your move pool is bottomless. What is most terrifying of these true masters is that some of them can go completely unnoticed, just waiting to untap that potential. An exploding tag under your feet just waiting for a spark. The most fearsome are the ones that have yet to ignite and are given a chance to.

Of course, this is a capacity that few ever develop, and fewer ever maintain. What's rarest of all is those who are born with this capacity and carry it as a core aspect of their being. Usually, those few miracle children are easy to recognize, but for all the wrong reasons.

"Naruto…. The hell did you do this time?" Hiruzen rubs at the bridge of his nose with his wrinkled, arthritic fingers. Upon opening his eyes once more, he's almost blinded by the child's ear-to-ear grin. His spiky blonde hair and random patches of his face and black T shirt are all stained by various colors of paint ranging from neon green and pink to his favorite "kill me" orange. The vast number of stains marring the visages of three of his favorite anbu now standing behind the boy almost makes him crack a smile, professional apathy be damned.

The boy in question just chuckles as he tries to ease away from the assassin currently gripping the back of his shirt collar. "Well, this paint cannon trap was supposed to be for that arrogant prick Tsurugi on his way into work this morning..."

Hiruzen raises a brow and leans back in his chair. "Tsurugi Kaneda? The grocer? Why exactly was he your target?"

Naruto grunts and drops his smile. "He's been doubling his prices on me. Figured I'd pay him back by ruining a good set of clothes and making him miss a day's sales."

Hiruzen makes a mental note to visit Mr. Tsurugi personally later. "Alright… and why exactly did you and these anbu get caught in your trap?"

"Ummm…" He scratches at the back of his head and averts his gaze. "They caught me fleeing the scene of another prank I pulled on Genbe-sensei at the academy that… may have been a bit more dangerous than I thought? How what I supposed to know flour was that flammable?" Well, that explains the small explosion at the academy earlier. Not much damage, just a little paperwork and a teacher he intended to fire got burned. Hiruzen waves for Naruto to continue. "O-Oh, right, um… well, they chased me a good distance, and I lead them all the way to my trap, which sadly, wasn't triggered properly when Tsurugi-teme got to work. But, I figured it'd slow these guys down, maybe blind em or something. But I had to trigger it myself to do that, so I got caught in the blast."

Hiruzen nods faintly, turning to his crystal ball and gazing at the alley behind the grocer's. The paint spatters on the opposite wall to the tampered dumpster turned into a hidden paint cannon provides a clear outline of the young ninja in training and the three anbu. "And how exactly did you get the supplies to build something like this? Or even learn to build it to begin with?"

Naruto snorts and chuckles at his own ingenuity. "You wouldn't believe what can be done with what most people throw away. Old paint cans or colors they don't want, old pipes, air tanks they think are empty left over from old folks dying… and that's just the kinda stuff I used for just this prank. Though…" He bites his lip faintly. "… SOME of it may be stolen from stores that've kicked me out or overcharged me…"

Silence falls as Hiruzen lets the details sink in. A self-taught, mechanically wizened prankster capable enough to catch anbu in one of his larger, more complex traps. If the paint had been poison, acid, or even just kunai, he had no doubt all of them would be dead right now.

That kind of efficiency and the rarity of this gift cannot be squandered. "Anbu… leave and clean yourselves up. I have to speak with Naruto for a bit, and your presence is unnecessary." The three masked figures behind Naruto nod and shunshin away. Hiruzen offers his adoptive grandson a smile and a wave to usher him over. Being but eleven, he's all too eager to rush to the Hokage's side. "Naruto… you have a very unique and rare talent among ninja. Not a bloodline like the Inuzuka or the Hyuga, but a personal skill that sets you among an even rarer and more valuable type of shinobi that I haven't seen a true prodigy of in years, and the last one wasn't even from this village."

Naruto's sapphire eyes light up at the thought of how special he just might be. "Really? But… what? I… I constantly fail in class." His smile fades away as he averts his gaze to the floor, lost in thoughts of his many failures. Sarutobi knows all too well that the scowl Naruto forces on hides tears. "Iruka-sensei is the only one that sees any potential in me, but he's never seen anything 'special' about me…"

"Well, this is a talent that most would have difficulty noticing… that, and Iruka may be a little distracted by having to help clean up the results of your pranks at school." Hiruzen chuckles at Naruto's undignified groan. "But no, this talent is something truly rare. You, Naruto, are natural trap master. Your ability to devise traps and pranks from whatever materials you can find and turn them on the most careful of ninja in my ranks is incredible. Just think what would have happened if you'd designed that trap to harm and used it on a troop of bandits, or an enemy shinobi!" The light returns to Naruto's eyes as his potential sets in. "You're brilliant, Naruto. Brilliant in a very uncommon way. What we need to do now is ensure you master this talent."

Naruto leaps and cheers, throwing a fist to the ceiling in pure joy. "YES! Ok, how do we do this? A private training session? My own sensei? OH! Teach me a jutsu for trap masters!"

The Hokage snorts and burst into a short bout of laughter. "No, no, Naruto. I can't manage to provide quite that much. For one, trap masters are rare and secretive. Next to no jutsu designed just for them have ever been recorded. Furthermore, I can't recall having one in this village right now. This is an undertaking you'll have to see through yourself." Naruto slumps in dismay. "What I can do is provide access to some supplies to teach yourself more easily with. The first thing would be learning to trap animals by building your own traps from scratch." He turns around in his chair and rolls it across the room, digging into one of his bookshelves. "Let's see… yes, here it is." He pulls two books free and tosses them to his favorite blonde knucklehead. "Basic physics and trap construction. If you can get through these and trap ten animals of various sizes, then I'll provide the tools for your next step."

Naruto fumbles as he catches the two books, nearly stumbling face-first into the front of the desk. Once he catches himself and gets a better look at them, he groans and almost drops them both. "I have to read? Come on! Can't you just teach me a jutsu?"

Hiruzen sighs as he rolls closer to the windows. "Naruto… you say you, one day, want my seat, and my hat. Do you realize how much reading that's going to require? How much smarter you'll have to be?" He peeks over to Naruto to find him at full attention, despite the mild bewilderment on his face. "The Hokage isn't just the strongest ninja in the village. We are also among the smartest, the most level-headed, the most trusted, and the most deserving. The only ninja in this village that can outthink me are the Nara, and they're too lazy to want the job. Few are quite as level as I am, save for the best of the Aburame. Whether one deserves it is determined by the purity and meaning of their achievements. As for trusted… well, after all of your pranks thus far, what exactly have you done to gain the people's trust?" He turns to stare out the window. "You have a very long and difficult road ahead of you if you want to be Hokage, Naruto. So the question now is… will you let a little reading get in the way of that goal, or is it too daunting for you to want anymore?"

Silence falls for several moments as Hiruzen stares out the windows of his office and into the vast expanse of his village. Oh, how it's grown since his youth. His sensei would be proud, bless the Nidaime's soul. He had succeeded in inspiring a once rambunctious young man into being the now second-oldest kage in history. Hiruzen could only hope he had not crushed this youth's dream with the reality of it.

To his surprise, he hears the turning of pages behind him. "… Well… it doesn't look too hard. Not as hard as the tests in class, anyway…" He turns his head up to meet Hiruzen's stern gaze with his own piercing eyes. "I'll get back to my place and get right to work on these. I'll see you in a week!" Naruto turns and bolts out the door, leaving a stunned and confused kage in his wake.

… Wait… what was that about the academy tests being harder?

"… Should I look into that?" Sarutobi turns to look back out the window, finding one of his most trusted former anbu speaking to him from the roof.

"Of course. Get Iruka to assist you. I'm certain he's not involved, and he'll be eager to help nail the culprits. I shouldn't have to tell you to be discreet about it, but then again…" He sighs and rubs his temples. "Most of our ranks seem to have forgotten what stealth is. Only the anbu and genjutsu users seem to have a grasp on it anymore."

"Hm.. I suppose you're right." The silver haired jonin out the window closes his book and stashes it away. "I'll be right on it. And I'll be sure to keep track of Naruto's progress for you, while I'm at it."

Hiruzen nods and turns away, knowing Kakashi's already gone by the time he opens his eyes again. They quickly fall upon the paintings of his predecessors, and the lost successor. "… He's so much like you both. Your drive. Your passion. Your potential. I hope you're watching…" He grins.

"Big things are in his future. I'm sure he'll make us all proud."

Back in his ramshackle apartment, Naruto digs through the first few pages of his physics book to start off, with his trap-making book open to a diagram page off to the side. "Huh… so that's where my diaper catapult prank went wrong. The pivot wasn't secured right and swung off to the side, and the force applied wasn't half as strong as I needed it to be…" He turns the page and scribbles a few notes in a scroll to his left. "And my paint cannon's trigger was the same… not enough tension on the tripwire. I was too focused on the ideas of one object just knocking into the next and interacting, not enough about how hard it hit…"

Outside his window, a clone sits on the wall with a smile on his face beneath a spandex mask. "Not bad, kid. Might have to put in a request with the Hokage." He returns to his book for just a moment before smirking as it reads one of the most perverse lines in the book and dispels itself to send that memory to the original. If not for his mask, Kakashi would have had a nosebleed on the paperwork he was investigating at the academy. Few would ever guess that hiding reactions to his reading is one of the greatest advantages to his mask.

A racoon chitters and growls as it scrambles about in a makeshift cage of pipes, branches, and zip ties. The trigger mechanism was constructed from a few clothespins, some scavenged ninja wire, and sheet of sandpaper hidden beneath the fallen leaves. The sandpaper then doubled as a way to ensure the racoon would stop scrambling and struggling after a few moments, when the leaves had been swept aside or ground down. Once it's clear the creature is caught, Naruto scrambles up to it with a wild grin. "Yes! That's three squirrels, two racoons, and an owl now…" He takes a fur sample as the racoon attempts to escape, then lets it scamper off. "Ok… now to go check my large target traps." He forces himself off his knee and to his feet, then bolts through the woods on the outskirts of the village. His hands are wrapped in a layer of bandages that covers all but his lightly cut and raw fingertips. Making some of these traps has been intensive, and paired with his physical training, he had to cover his hands to let them heal a bit. Fiddling with rope and ninja wire all day can be a literal pain.

In the distance, Naruto could hear the honks and groans of an ensnared deer. "Yes!" He skids atop the grass until he stops only a few yards from a deer now suspended in a net hanging from the branches. It doesn't seem to bother with struggling at all, just curled up in the bottom of the net, tangled around its antlers as it calls out. As he approaches, Naruto can't help but assess its lethargy. "Huh… Why the hell would it be this lazy caught in a net?"

"Because it knows we're coming." Naruto jumps and nearly screams, wheeling around to see Shikamaru and Shikaku Nara. The clan head sighs as he steps up to cut the poor animal down. "You should know better than to hunt deer on Nara clan property, Naruto."

"Um…" He chuckles nervously. "S-Sorry. I didn't know this was clan property. O-Oh, one thing before you release it!" He leaps up and past Shikaku, using a kunai to cut off a small patch of fur. "Need to record my catches for Hokage-jiji. This is my seventh one!" He laughs giddily as he pockets the fur. "Three more, and he'll start my next lesson!"

Shikamaru raises a brow and pulls his hands from his pockets to cross his arms. "What's the Hokage teaching you to catch animals for?"

"O-Oh, this is just to practice trap building and hiding. The goal is to get good enough at this to trap enemy ninja."

Shikaku pauses as the pieces of the living puzzle that is Naruto start to fit together. "… I see. Well, try to keep off our property when doing so. Regardless…" He looks over the net and the various small mechanisms used to trigger and pull it. "… This isn't half bad. I'd suggest securing your pulleys a bit more, but it's otherwise a solid trap." He cuts the deer down and lets it land with a thud, then assists it with removing the net from its antlers. "I'd also suggest killing, skinning, and cooking anything you catch that you'd care to. Get better at making reusable traps and sell the furs, and you could make a pretty penny before you're even out of the academy."

Naruto tilts his head as that sinks in. "Huh… Alright, I'll give that a shot." He spins his kunai and slips it back into his pouch. "Shouldn't be too hard. I mean…" He sighs. "… If I'm gonna be a ninja, I'll have to get used to killing. Hunting should be good practice." He stretches for a moment and peeks around to get his bearings. "Ok… I think the next trap I gotta check is that way…" He turns back to Shikamaru and grins. "I'll see ya in class tomorrow, Shika!" He leaps off into the trees without waiting for a reply, leaving the two laziest of Naras watching his back.

"… He's gonna be amazing with those traps one day, isn't he?" Shikamaru sighs. "Troublesome blonde numbskull…"

Shikaku nods and turns to leave. _He's more like his father than I thought. I'll have to discuss this with Kakashi and the Hokage. Maybe Hiashi…_

About a kilometer away, Naruto stumbles to a stop in a small grove where he set a small pitfall trap with a deep, smooth barrel buried and covered. With only smooth plastic surfaces, no animal can get a proper grip to climb back out. The sounds of scratching and scrambling within proves his point. "Ok, what do we have he-"

Naruto stops as his sapphire eyes are met by the faded bronze of fox eyes. Not a word is spoken, but they plead to him, and somehow, seem to recognize him. He can feel them burrowing into his soul, but to empathize rather than harm. He stammers for a moment, trying to reason that he should start taking Shikaku's advice, but…

"… Ok, fine. Come on, let's get you out of there…"


	2. Fledgeling Beasts

"Oi, Jiji!" Naruto barges into the Hokage's office with a bundle of plastic bags in hand. The Hokage barely manages to hide his book in time to avoid getting grilled by his adoptive grandson for being a pervert.

"N-Naruto! How's your training been? I-I hope you haven't had too much trouble!"

The orange-clad brat grins as he sets out ten bags with ten different fur samples on his table. "I actually caught more than that, but I pushed myself to catch ten different species."

Sarutobi pauses for a moment, but sets his pipe down and leans in to inspect them all. "… That's not bad at all. You've completed this step far sooner than I expected. Alright, now that you've learned to enclose and contain your targets…" He reaches into his desk and pulls out a scoll, opening it to unseal a series of kunai, shuriken, and senbon. "You need to kill your targets."

Naruto crosses his arms. "Eeeh… well, I killed and skinned a few of the ones I caught, but I guess ya mean I should make the traps kill them, huh?"

The kage nods. "Of course. But, you should put some subtle cues for ninja in the area to avoid them, so only animals fall prey to your designs."

Naruto snorts as he recalls how one of his traps was tripped. "Guessing Bushy Brow Sensei told you about Lee getting caught in one of them?"

"Oh, I heard." He groans. "That man's ranting is almost as obnoxious as the council's bickering. There's a damn good reason I insist he submit formally written reports of his missions rather than oral reports."

Naruto nods and chuckles nervously… but then starts to cackle mischievously.

"Naruto, I swear to Kami, if you pull any pranks involving recordings of his rants and those damnable green leotards, I'll put you in a pink one and tie you upside-down from the main gate."

That shuts him up rather quickly. "S… S-Soooo, deadly traps? Shouldn't be too hard… but…" He pauses and stares down at the scroll. "… Can you teach me that?"

Sarutobi pauses and stares down at the scroll himself. "To use sealing scrolls?"

He shakes his head. "Using them is kinda obvious. Just pulse some chakra, and poof." He gives Hiruzen a smaller, more confident smile. "No, I wanna make them."

Hiruzen's eyes widen as that hits him. For a moment, he can almost see the Yondaime's spirit imposed behind the boy, with a hand on his shoulder. Soon, he too smiles and leans forwards. "Sealing is a very complex art that very few have ever mastered. Just as few as trap masters. Are you sure you want to walk both paths?"

Naruto shrugs. "Well, who's to say I'll master it? I just wanna give it a shot and at least learn to make storage seals." He scratches his chin. "There's just… so much I could do with them as parts of my traps!"

"Naruto…" Hiruzen chuckles as he pulls a basic sealing guide and a small ink kit from his desk. "That may be the best damn idea you've had since the Orioke no Jutsu."

Once Naruto leaves, Hiruzen leans back in his seat and stares at the ceiling. "… You're planning to take him as an apprentice now, aren't you?"

"… Yeah." An old white-haired sage in a red vest fades into view behind him, leaning against the wall. He doesn't use it often, but his transparency jutsu comes in handy occasionally. "He's gonna make a name for himself quickly. He'll need my protection soon enough. I had hoped we'd be able to protect him through anonymity a while longer, but he's growing too fast."

Hiruzen turns his seat to face his old student. "I suppose so. But the question now is whether to tell him about your relation."

Jiraiya opens his mouth to answer, but chokes on the first sound and sighs, closing his eyes in shame. "No… I don't deserve that title. Maybe I'll tell him someday, but not now." He pushes himself up from the wall and steps towards the windows. "For now, I'll leave him to you and Kakashi. I need to leave again to look into my old teammate. Seems the snake's been digging around near Kusa. A snake in the grass, go figure…"

"Hm…" Hiruzen hunches over at his desk and weaves his fingers together to lean into. "Troublesome… See if you can find Kuma out there. He'll be hospitable and informative for certain. Be especially careful, though. That worm may be planning to set Iwa after us somehow. I'd much rather avoid having to deal with Onoki throwing a fit."

"I'm sure the fence sitter feels just the same about dealing with a certain old monkey throwing his shit." Jiraiya grins as he ducks a mug thrown at the back of his head, then turns transparent once more and leaps out the window.

That Monday morning, Naruto wanders into class with his newest book open and repeatedly tripping and stumbling in the halls. With his nose nearly buried into it, he barely even notices all the weird looks we receives from fellow students on the way into his classroom and up to his seat. He even manages to trip on two of the steps on the way up.

"Um…" Ino whispers over to Sakura. "What's up with Naruto? I've never seen him read this much. Hell, I don't think I've ever seen him read…"

"I don't know…" Sakura raises an eyebrow. "Is that a book on sealing? Why would he even be interested in that?"

Shikamaru just smirks at the back of the room and keeps his silence. They'll learn eventually. Sasuke doesn't even bother trying to consider whatever Naruto is up to for more than a few seconds. It's perplexing, but not worth his time.

Hinata of course is taking in every detail of the young blonde's expression as he passes. She's never seen him so focused or bold, and it's rather intimidating… but it still manages to make her heart skip a beat.

Iruka is just as attentive as Hinata, but obviously for very different reasons. He's known Naruto for years now, and slowly come to see him as a little brother. He knew Naruto was training to use his traps more effectively, but he never could have predicted him taking it so seriously. It's an entirely new and chilling side of Naruto that reminds him all too much of his childhood idol, Minato Namikaze. But the oddest thing is that Naruto has never expressed his brilliance or calm demeanor. But… then there was all the evidence that popped up last week.

Iruka clears his throat to gain the class's attention. "I regret to inform you all that Mizuki-sensei has been relieved from duty and will not be returning to us. There's also a few other staff members that have left with him, so things may be a little hectic around here for a while. Potential new teachers are being considered and should be arriving over the next month, along with a new curriculum we'll be experimenting with for the remainder of the year. Expect some significant changes, but don't worry too much about them. This is like a watered-down part of what it means to be a shinobi. We have to be able to adapt to whatever situation is presented to us, and-" He pauses and stares up at Naruto, who's still got his nose buried ten miles deep into his book. "Naruto, could you please put the book away?" All eyes fall upon the blonde as he continues to read. "… Naruto." Iruka's eye starts to twitch, and finally, he resorts to his infamous Big Head Jutsu. "DAMNIT NARUTO, CLOSE THE BOOK!"

Naruto nearly leaps from his seat. "S-S-Sorry Iruka-s-sensei! I was in the middle of a pretty big c-chapter…" He sighs and shakes himself out of shock before setting a bookmark at his page and setting the book away. "I'll have it put away in just a second." He pulls a scroll from his pocket and uses the ink and brush provided at his desk to start writing up a simple storage seal. Everyone present watches in fascination as he completes the seal and stores his book away in a puff of smoke. Iruka's mouth falls open as he steps up to take a closer look at it. "This seal… how did you get this good at making a storage seal so fast?"

"Wellll… My handwriting was already kinda perfect, so that helped. Remember when I spent a month practicing my signature for when I become Hokage?"

Silence falls throughout the room as the bizarre fusion of sense and absurdity in that statement sets in. It takes several moments for Iruka to manage to ask Naruto another question. "A-and, um… w-why are you so focused on this, then? You never pay this much attention in class…"

"Oh, uh…" Naruto chuckles and scratches at the back of his head. "Well, Hokage-jiji gave me that book so I could learn to mix seals into my traps. At first, I had a little difficulty understanding it, but there were some notes in there by the previous owner that really simplified things. Apparently, they wanted to write a better book on it, but I guess they never got the chance to. Seems they thought whoever wrote this one was, in their words, 'an obtuse dunderfuck'."

Iruka stammers incredulously before pulling the book from the scroll and opening it to take a look. Lo and behold, the book is full of notes in the margins and some sections that seem to just be covered in white-out and written over! Worst of all… he recognizes that handwriting. It was on many of his paychecks in his earliest days as a shinobi, over twelve years ago. He slowly closes the book and seals it away once more, handing the book back to his favorite student. "… Ok then…" He stumbles down the steps and back to his seat. "Well, class… how about, while the curriculum is being redesigned and our next steps are uncertain, we cover some more recent history?" He returns to his seat with a smile. "Today, we'll be discussing Namikaze Minato, our Yondaime Hokage."  
  
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Later that afternoon, once Naruto had gotten out of class, he wanders towards the woods on the outskirts of the village once more to seek out his latest traps and whether he'd succeeded with any kills. On the way, he receives the usual slew of glares and mutterings of 'demon' and 'fox brat'. As usual, he does his best to ignore them and focus on his own goals. That's been getting a little easier to do, with so much to focus on lately, but it's also getting easier for him to reason as to why they call him such things.

Little did Iruka know, Naruto did pay attention in that lesson today, and a few things stood out to him right away. First of all was that Minato was a seal master of the highest caliber. That got him kind of excited about his new career path, considering how much more like his idol it would make him. Second was that the Kyuubi was killed and Minato died on his birthday. Of course, there's also the use of fox's as nature's tricksters, a myth he always felt he could relate to, and lived up to as well. Ever since the Kyuubi's attack, foxes have been hated here, and often hunted by drunks and vengeful veteran shinobi. Having seen the results a few times when hiding from some of those drunks himself, he just couldn't bring himself to harm the fox he caught last week. Speaking of which…

Naruto slows to a stop and sighs soon after passing through the tree line and out of sigh. Peeking back, he finds that very same fox tailing him and now tilting her head as she stares him down. "… You're playing a dangerous game by getting so close to town around me, Yoko." He turns and kneels, reaching out as the fox kit scrambles up to him, shaking and wagging like an overexcited puppy as she nuzzles up to his hand. "Settle down, girl… come on, gotta go check my work." He stands and waves for her to follow, which she gladly does, nipping at his heels as they go. "A-Ah! Come on, don't do that!" He chuckles softly. It doesn't really hurt, it's just a bit startling at first. She's too cute to yell at, anyway.

Eventually, Naruto stops by one of his kunai traps and sighs as he sees his target got away. The tripwire was triggered, but his firing mechanism wasn't quite strong or accurate enough. The kunai are scattered about in far too wide a range. Two of them seem to be missing though, and a trail of blood leads further north. He sighs and pushes himself back to his feet after inspecting the scene, waving for Yoko to follow as he tracks whatever he hit. According to the fur left behind, his best guess was a racoon.

Thirty yards north, as predicted, he finds the little trash panda lying dead against a tree. Unpredictably though, he finds Lee kneeling over it with Gai consoling him. "Um…" he chuckles nervously as the spandex-clad duo raises their eyes to meet him. "Sorry, Lee. I kinda moved up to testing lethal traps." He crosses his arms and inspects the body from afar. "… Really gotta work on the accuracy and firing speed, though. I wanted a quick, clean kill."

Gai looks between Naruto and the racoon for a moment before nodding in agreement. "Tragic as its death is, Lee, it's a necessary stage in Naruto's training, and I'm sure he'll make good use of this one. His death will not be in vain." He sighs and rubs his student's back before returning his gaze to Naruto. "As for a quicker kill, that's a good assessment. This body is still warm, but the blood trail is mostly dried. If this were an enemy shinobi, they would have had plenty of time to escape and recuperate. If they had a decently trained medic on hand, it would have been little more than an inconvenience. And that's if it even hit them."

Naruto nods and kneels down to collect the corpse, sealing it into one of the compartments of a scroll in his left pocket. "So, how's your training going, Lee?"

Lee lets off a few final sobs and blows his nose for a moment as he calms down. "… It's… s-slow, but working. I'm now able to run faster than Tenten can throw her kunai. Neji on the other hand seems to have much better reflexes still…" He growls and clenches his fists. "I need to catch up to him. I need to learn faster…"

"Well…" Naruto takes a seat and crosses his arms. "What are you doing between all your exercises and drills?"

"… Huh?" Lee tilts his head. "That's just to eat and sleep… and bathroom breaks."

Naruto blanches at that. ".. ok, for one, that kind of training schedule is inhuman. Second…" He sighs and shakes himself out of his daze. "If that's the case, then Neji already knows everything you're training to do."

Lee pauses as that sets in, but groans and covers his face. "Of course! How could I be so stupid?!"

Naruto shrugs. "I have no clue. Ask the Anbu that can't find me half the time. Iruka-sensei's better at finding me. Seems ninja have been forgetting what stealth means." He ignores the twitch in Gai's eye as his gaze falls towards the orange jumpsuit. "Anyway, if ya wanna get a leg up on Neji, you gotta train in something else, something really personal that he'll have a lot of trouble dealing with."

"That may be difficult…" Gai stands and paces, scratching the back of his head. "Lee's physically incapable of actively using chakra in anything more tha miniscule amounts for such things as wall walking, and even that took an incredible amount of time for him to learn, so anything that isn't taijutsu is out of the question."

"Huh…" Naruto reaches into his pockets and withdraws a scroll, then pulls a book on seals from that. "What about passive chakra absorbing seals? They're used to detain criminals, but also used as components of gravity seals for training pretty often. I think I might be able to modify them onto just about any seal, really. So if you can't control your chakra, but have a good amount of it, then you should be able to pull off seal-based tricks as long as we use absorbing seals with them."

Gai nods and pinches at his chiseled chin as options roll through his head. "That… just might work. But, I'll really need to brush up on seals. I've only used a handful of really simple ones over the years, and I struggled to get them down."

"But…" Lee stands and arches his back, the flames of youth pouring from his eyes. "I WILL NOT FAIL! I'll learn to make these seals myself if I have to!"

"YES LEE! Your flames of youth will never be extinguished!"

Naruto chuckles nervously and nods. "G-Good drive, but try to keep it quiet. You don't wanna tip everyone off your new moves. Best to have a few aces up your sleeve. Might wanna pick up a weapon with a good reach, too." As he speaks, the impatient fox that had been hiding behind a tree nearby leaps out and into his lap. "A-Ah, Yoko, s-settle down!"

Gai leans down to get a look at the fox. "You know this one? She seems wild to me."

"Um… yeah, kinda." He sighs and gently pets the fox in his lap to calm her down. "She was one of my first captures. I just couldn't bring myself to kill her. Ever since I showed her mercy that day, she's been sneaking around the outskirts of the woods, waiting for me to return every day."

"Hmmm…" Gai's eyes narrow as he stares down the fox. "Very smart for a wild one, but far too friendly to be malicious. I would suggest keeping her as a pet, but in Konoha…" He sighs deeply. "More likely to make both of you the town's biggest targets if anyone catches you."

Naruto nods sadly as he scratches under her chin. "Yeah… that, and she gets a bit noisy, and my apartment doesn't allow pets."

"… I think I know a solution, if you're willing to take a risk." Naruto peeks up to Gai and raises a brow. "You're pretty good at henge no jutsu, right? Well, if you can keep her still and get her to comply, you might be able to wrap the both of you up into one henge that looks just like you, and carry her into town. But not just anywhere. "Gai flashes his signature pearly grin. "To the Inuzuka clan! Ask to speak with Tsume, your classmate Kiba's mother. She's the clan head over there, and she may be willing to help you train her. If she can fight for herself, or better yet, outsmart and outrun most of those angry blowhards that'd want to hunt her, you should have no problems at all! That, and once you've graduated, she'll be registered as a living ninja tool and be legally safe."

Naruto's eyes widen as the potential of it all sets in. Soon after, he grins wildly down to Yoko, who raises her head to look him in the eyes. "Whadda ya think, girl? Do ya trust me to get you into town safely?"

She cannot reply, but the look in her eyes says it all. They almost glow, if not for his vantage point, Gai would have witnessed Naruto's eyes turning red for a moment.

"Alright then…" He stands and hefts her up into his arms, but rather than just carrying her, he tucks her into the front of his jacket and zips her in. "You just rest up there, and we'll be to the Inuzuka compound soon." With a quick handsign and a puff of smoke, the fox head sticking out of his collar and added mass in the front of his jacket are nowhere to be seen. He peeks back up to the grinning man towering over him. "Thanks for the tips! I'll let ya know how it goes, and I'll tell Tsume ya said hi!" He turns and bolts through the woods, headed back into town and towards the unmistakable Inuzuka compound. The barking makes it far too easy to track down, and he's snuck in to pull some of his best pranks often enough to have it memorized from all angles. For now, Yoko seems content to ride in his jacket, and not a peep is heard.

Hiruzen smiles down upon his adoptive grandson through his crystal ball, then peeks over to the files on his desk. Ten staff members at the academy, detained. Mizuki's mugshot sits atop the pile. "These are the moments I really love being Hokage." He turns his chair away and takes a puff from his pipe. "Do me proud, boy. Me, your father, and the entire village…"


	3. Pack Leader

The residential district surrounding the Inuzuka compound is usually one of the most loved by new arrivals to the village and the occasional tourist. It may not be close to a very prestigious and rich clan like the Uchiha once were or the Hyuga still are, but it has one thing they both lack:

An abundance of friendly animals to keep things lively and comfortable.

Every home in that area, apartments included, allows pets. A lot of them are free-roaming, as the Inuzuka hounds keep them all in line and almost seem to pass on their value in loyalty to any others around them. Leashes are very uncommon here, and the only thing less common is cats. Occasionally, Tora will invade the area on a bleak day and raise hell until a Jonin can manage to fight his way through the horde of canines and collect the royal cat that many swear is a descendant of the Nibi.

But, there are of course other animals that are often frowned upon in that area. Parrots aren't too popular, partly due to rarity, partly due to how obnoxious they can get once they start imitating the speech patterns of the louder Inuzuka clan members. Most of all though, is foxes. It's no surprise that after the fateful day of the Kyuubi's attack, the village has come to collectively hate the species.

So of course, Naruto was very careful to not drawn any attention as he made his way to the Inuzuka compound. He knew there'd be no way to hide Yoko from their keen sense of smell once he gets there, but he figured he could at least reason with Kiba and his mother to keep things from getting out of hand. For now, he's lucky enough for Yoko to nearly fall asleep in the front of his jacket on the way there. It takes all the discipline he has not to pet her and blow his cover.

The front gates of the compound are wide open, inviting anyone to enter. The Inuzuka are one of the most hospitable clans in the village as well, always willing to welcome guests and treat them like family as long as they show the same respect for nature and loyalty they live by. Having done a little gardening in his window to spruce up his apartment, he's guessing his respect for nature is up to snuff. As for loyalty, just about everyone in the village knows of his declarations of being the next Hokage, regardless of whether they believe him or not.

The moment he passes through the gates, Akamaru's already jumping at his shins and yapping away. Naruto stumbles for a moment, struggling to calm the overexcited pup without kneeling down and putting Yoko in danger. "H-hey, c-come on! It's just me! You saw me in class an hour ago!"

"Yeah, but he smells something new about you." Kiba walks around the corner with his hands tucked into his hoodie pockets. "You smell more like a fox than usual."

Naruto raises a brow at that. _More than usual? What's that supposed to mean? Better look into that later._ "Um… well, the reason for that is the same reason I'm here. A-Any chance I could talk to your mom? I have a few questions to ask her."

Kiba raises a brow and tilts his head, cueing Akamaru to mimic his partner. "What business do ya have with her?"

Naruto sighs softly, unsure how to word this. ".. Clan business, I suppose. Answers only she can provide. Please, Kiba… this is really important to me. Come on, I haven't asked you for anything since that exploding desk incident."

"… Fine. Come on, she's-"

"Right here." Both boys nearly jump out of their skin as Tsume speaks from overhead. What they look up to find is the Inuzuka clan head standing upside-down on the branch of a tree that's grown over the compound's wall. She smirks and falls, landing on her left hand and vaulting to her feet. "So, what do ya need, kid? My clan doesn't exactly do many favors, so this is kind of an odd move, even for you…"

Naruto gulps as he struggles to calm his nerves, and eventually, he sighs and lowers his head, canceling his henge as he pulls Yoko from his jacket. Both Inuzakas stare blankly for varying reasons, but seem mildly alarmed and confused. "I was hoping you could help me to train Yoko here and get her registered as something sorta like one of your hounds."

Tsume kneels down for a closer look at the fox kit as she yawns and looks the clan head right in the eyes. Her gaze is unwavering, not the slightest ounce of fear or malice of any kind to be found. They stare each other down until Tsume smiles and stands. "So, who suggested ya come to me for this?"

"U-Um…" Naruto cradles the orange canid. "Maito Gai sent me. Yoko and I ran into him and Lee while I was checking on my latest traps."

"Hmm…" She rubs the back of her neck. "Well, I'll have to thank Gai later." She crosses her arms and shifts into a more confident stance that many would find right at home if done by a certain snake mistress. "We've been looking for ways to expand our clan's skill sets, and expanding into other, more specialized canids would be the perfect way to do it." She reaches down and gently pets the young fox to reassure her. "We won't be taking her from you, she's all yours, but training her would make for great practice to be ready to train foxes ourselves."

Naruto's bewildered stare slowly grows into a face-consuming grin. "Well, when do we start?! The sooner we can get this rolling, the better!"

"Hmm…" Tsume scratches her head for a moment and peeks back to her towering hound, looking into his one good eye. "What do you think? Ready to start now?"

Kuromaru nods and steps closer. "I'm honestly almost excited for it. I wonder if she'll be as good of a student as Akamaru's been."

Naruto almost gapes at the sight of a talking dog, but manages to silence himself with a nervous gulp. "W-Well, um… I-I guess she's i-in your care, for now…" He gently sets Yoko onto her paws, and she turns to face him with a tilted head. "Sorry, girl… you'll have to stay here for a while." He crouches and pets her for a moment. "But I'll be back to see you every day until I can take you home, ok?"

"You're not going anywhere yet." Naruto peeks up to Tsume. "Your training starts now. First off is obedience training, and unless she's a prodigy, you're gonna be here for a while."  
.

* * *

.  
Kiba lies awake late into the night, staring at his ceiling as the last few days' events plague his mind. He couldn't help it. To an Inuzuka, especially the males, the pack hierarchy is undeniable, and to change positions within it is a life-changing event.

His position as being just above dead last has been threatened.

He's never been the best student. A slacker, rebellious, constantly fidgeting and complaining through class until the few parts he's ever cared about, the physical training and testing, finally rolls around. In those, he excels, but even then, he's outdone. Sasuke, Shino, and Hinata all have better aim. Chouji and Naruto are physically stronger. Sasuke and Shikamaru on the rare occasion that he applies his talents are more critical and calculative. Now even Naruto's starting to improve in those, moving up from dead last and surely to at least the middle of the class.

And where does that leave Kiba? Dead last. The omega of the pack. Lowest of the low and nearly worthless in his own eyes.

It took a while for him to realize what lead Naruto to catch up so quickly. At first, it made no sense to him. He'd never shown such potential before, and now he's one of the most driven in the class, if not a bit off-kilter considering he's always too focused on his own studies to pay much attention to class content.

What sealed it for him was the last two days. First was just how much he applied himself to training Yoko. Even Kiba had to admit, she was one of the quickest students he'd ever seen in the compound. She was still shaky on communicating with the hounds, but improving fast. She could take orders like a seasoned ninken, but had the wit to judge when an order was too dangerous or misdirecting. What she lacks is the strength and size of a ninken, but that can be accounted for in however Naruto designs her personal techniques, and he seemed to already be considering it. Whenever he was on the Inuzuka compound, every moment was about Yoko. All of his training was dedicated entirely to her, for the sake of her future and safety. He found strength in having someone to fight with and for.

But in every moment of downtime, Naruto was seated nearby, absent-mindedly feeding and petting her while his eyes and right hand were focused on blueprints for new traps or practicing his sealing calligraphy. Even when he had to take a break from training Yoko, he was still entirely dedicated to one of his passions and talents. Not a moment was ever wasted.

Kiba may not be the smartest, but it didn't take him long to realize that difference between himself and Naruto. He must apply himself more and stop wasting so much time on meaningless pursuits. He must find things that truly matter to him and focus every waking moment on them. Only then would he be able to catch up and not only take his place in the hierarchy back, but move beyond it and become the next Alpha of the clan.

But this particular night, that question takes a back seat as he listens in on a conversation between Akamaru, Kuromaru, and Yoko. The kit has learned enough now to discuss things that instantly made him question his village, his friend, and even his beliefs.

Just who and what is Naruto? Kyuubi incarnate, or living prison?  
.

* * *

.

"Danzo-sama. We have news regarding the jinchuuriki." Danzo raises his head from his desk and stares down the Root agent kneeling before him. He waves to gesture the young man to continue. Even fully clothed in Anbu black spandex, gray vest, and painted mask, his high-pitched voice and stature betray his identity as one of Root's youngest agents. "His training has taken a turn. He's begun to train as a trap master, and is progressing at an alarming rate. Compounded with his newfound studies into fuinjutsu, he'll become an invaluable asset to the village. There were contingencies in place for this potential route, but we were unprepared for the second development. He has taken in a young fox as his equivalent of a ninken, and is training them as a joint effort with the Inuzaka clan. Furthermore, we've recorded no less than five occasions thus far, in which he has gone into a trance-like state when making eye contact with the fox he now calls 'Yoko'."

The bandaged old warmonger closes his eyes and loses himself in calculations and predictions. Naruto's penchant for pranking always seemed like a suitable career starter as a trap master, something he hadn't seen in this village since his youth, and that one happened to die during the second war, taking a surrounding troop from Kumo out with him. Having a new one at their disposal would be invaluable. As for the fox…

That may require twisting Jiraiya's arm. He may be tapping into the kyuubi's power unconsciously, or this new fox is drawing it out of him somehow. The biju have been known to congregate with their own kind when loose, and previous jinchuuriki have had affinities for species connected to their beasts. Han apparently has a bit of a thing for horses, and reports from Kumo suggest Ni Yugito is a bit catty. For now, the fox is a wild card, but not one to be avoided. There's few times that a joker is a good card to hold on to, but Naruto has proven to turn odds in his favor frequently.

But, those odds must not be allowed to sit. His new preoccupations with the fox and his seals need to be urged in the right direction. Sarutobi may disagree, but the time for the truth is close at hand, before he discovers his own seal or learns too much from this "Yoko".

.

* * *

.

Late into that Friday evening, after yet another long day of classes, training Yoko, and checking his traps in the dark, Naruto finally returns to his apartment and collapses face-first into his bed. He groans into the tangled blanket and mumbles incoherently to himself.

"Not taking all this training so well, hm?" Naruto bolts upright and stares up to his window, finding a familiar anbu mask staring back at him. The simplified dog mask shifts aside to unveil yet another mask and a single eye beneath a tall mess of silver hair. "Konbanwa, Naruto. Been a while, hasn't it?"

Naruto stares for a moment, but sighs and sits up. "Hai, Inu-san. Haven't seen you or Tora for a while now."

The now ex anbu waves that accusation off and sets his Inu mask aside. "We've been around. You haven't needed us to babysit you, so we've kept our distance and just ensured your safety. You've been progressing quite well lately on your own, though. Your traps are quite impressive."

Naruto groans and flops back into his bed, then rolls over. "Yeah, but… with classes going on and needing to train Yoko, not to mention how much of a slave driver Tsume is about that, I can't manage to keep working on my traps lately, or my sealing. I've got too much to work on at once. I need more hours in a day."

Kakashi grins at that phrasing. "Well, you're in luck. It's probably not the smartest thing to do, but, well… you don't exactly have a clan to teach you any jutsu, and most of your classmates know some sort of B rank jutsu by now through them. So, how about I fill in that role for you?" Naruto peeks up from his sheets with bewilderment in his eyes. "How familiar are you with Bunshin no Jutsu?"

Naruto groans louder yet, holding his pillow to his face for a moment. "Damnit, I can't do that jutsu! It's the only one form the academy that I haven't mastered enough to ditch Anbu with!"

Kakashi sweatdrops as he recalls the times his coworkers were stumped by the boy's evasive skills after particularly nasty pranks. "Y-Yes, well… what about Kage Bunshin? It takes a lot more chakra, but considering how much you have, it should be easier for you to manage, and these clones are real."

Silence falls for a moment until Naruto bolts upright. "Real clones? Like, physical, flesh and blood clones that can act for me?"

Kakashi nods and makes a quick handsign, producing a single clone beside him. Said clone then chucks his extra mask at Naruto, who barely manages to dodge it and leap off his bed to the left. "They can only take one hit, though." Kakashi backhands his own clone in the face to dismiss it in a cloud of smoke. "And when they die, you collect their memories."

By the end of his explanation, Naruto was nearly drooling at the potential of this technique. He could practically see the gears turning in his head, almost literally. All his training as a trap master, learning to find multiple uses for everything, and his sealing experience teaching him to weave every stroke together, has made his mind a multifaceted mechanical marvel. When he sees potential, he abuses it. And few techniques have the potential and versatility of the Kage Bunshin. The Nidaime made sure of that. "… When do we start?"

"Now, if you don't mind working late. You don't have to meet with Tsume until two anyway."

Naruto rolls his eyes. "Of course you know that…"

"Well, I get along great with the Inuzuka." He reaches into his vest and pulls out a chain with a preserved hound teeth. "I'm an honorary member. Just wait till you meet my summons."

.

* * *

.

Training ground three was a popular location. The proximity of the KIA Monument provided both a numbing realism to training there as well as passionate inspiration and motivation. Kakashi spent all too much time here, wallowing in suffering and depression that constantly bogs down his life. Naruto's presence here, on the other hand, helped him to finally feel a bit of that fire he had lost for so long.

The fuel for that fire was provided by the young man with him swearing up a storm between failed attempts at this jutsu. At this point, there was a constant thin veil of smoke around him after the number of failed clones he'd created and dispersed. "KAMI DAMNIT, Why the hell is this jutsu so fucking hard?!" He punches the grass and forces himself back to his feet, stumbling as he gathers more chakra, struggling to tame it all into the proper form. "Is it… still too much chakra?... Yeah… I keep killing normal bunshin by overloading them…. And I'm doing it again!" He clenches his fists and grits his teeth, forcing the chakra to surround him. "My control's never been good enough, and it's only getting worse! Why?" He makes the handsign. "Why?!" His chakra flares up around him, forming a visible shroud of faded blue. "WHY?!"

With one last guttural cry, he focuses on not one point to mold his chakra, but dozens. As many as he can envision around him. A smoky explosion rocks the training ground, and Kakashi raises his head from his favorite literature in shock. He'd never seen that much smoke produced by one jutsu outside of one peculiar jutsu designed entirely to make smokescreens and the occasional boss sized summon, which he'd only witnessed once or twice in his whole career. What he found upon the smoke clearing was a troop of nearly a hundred Narutos, all looking to themselves and each other in awe. Some inspect themselves for their full range of sensations and physical details, Others leap about and cheer, but with the field so packed, some leap into one another and knock their heads together. As exhausted as Naruto was before making these clones, that little of an impact was enough to dispel them.

Amidst them all, Naruto stands with a proud smile on his face and sweat on his brow, huffing and slouching as he takes in the fruit of his labor.

But then, the final kick in the pants for the night. The clones are all struck with sparks of inexplicable pain at once, eyes turning red for split seconds before they pop. All of them popping at once floods Naruto's exhausted and addled mind with their memories and flashes of random and inexplicable imagery in the back of his head in time with the pain. Assaulted with all of these memories at once, he blacks out, and collapses into a twitching heap in the grass, just before Kakashi can reach him.

.

* * *

.

Deep within Naruto's sullen, cavernous mind, A set of titanic fangs and blackened lips form an almost sickening grin. "Finally. It took far too long to find a way to drag you in here. Come to me, Naruto. We have much to discuss."


	4. All Ado About Chakra

The main chamber of Naruto's mental sewer was far from difficult to find. All it took was following a nagging sensation in the back of his mind and recognizing that the pipes were merging and growing larger down certain paths. Wherever he was headed was the source of something. He didn't know what, bit it was something big. Something seeking an audience with him.

Along the way, he came to find the many mechanisms he'd designed for his traps built into the walls, triggers to open gates to deeper compartments of his mind. A tripwire opens a gate of bamboo bars. A pressure plate triggers the fall of a solid iron wall. The final gate into the main chamber is triggered by pulling a lever that lets the contents of the smaller pipes, which he quickly identifies as his chakra, to flow through a pattern in the gate that he knows only as the spiral on the back of most Konoha issued shinobi jackets. The moment his chakra reaches the center of the spiral from all angles, the door splits and retracts into the wall, unveiling the chamber beyond.

The darkness is the first thing to catch his eye. This entire maze of pipes has been very dimly lit, growing darker as he goes. The room beyond appears endless, all light fading away towards the seemingly non-existent ceiling and leaving an infinite abyss to hang over his head.

On what he can see of the walls, the pipes continue to grow and extend to the far end of the room until they sink into the walls on the opposite end of the room, just before a titanic. rusted prison gate A single paper tag seal adheres to the middle of the gate, such a flimsy thing to hold it all together, but somehow, it apparently works.

It's only as he steps closer that he discovers a set of canid fangs scowling at him through the bars. A pair of crimson eyes opens above them, somehow lighting the inner chamber and unveiling the demon within.

Naruto reels back for a moment, but glares through the bars as facts set in. The gears within his mind begin to whir and connect, quite literally as he can hear the mechanisms of this internal space produce a constant clanging and knocking. The chamber is further illuminated from his side, as countless torches lining the walls are set ablaze, the flickering of freshly lit flames rising into the eternity hanging above. Images flicker across the walls between the flames as memories and facts are recalled and merged. His birthday, the day of the Kyuubi's attack. All the hatred he's known all his life. Mutterings of 'demon' in the background. Most importantly though, was the mention of Jinchuuriki in his book on sealing. It jumped out at him right away, as a prime example of the raw power and potential of sealing, as a method for the author to convince the reader to stick to their lessons.

"… So you've been in me this whole time, huh?"

A rough, guttural laugh echoes through to chamber. "Good, you aren't denying the grand truth in front of you! Humans are usually so arrogant to deny such facts."

Naruto glares through the bars and sighs, closing his eyes as he allows his mind to calm what little it can. "… Do you know why nobody ever told me?"

"Hm?" The Kyuubi raises a brow and lays his head down across his folded paws. "You know what a Jinchuuriki is. You know how valuable you and I are to this village. You were an infant when I was sealed in you, a helpless little brat. If knowledge of what you were had gotten out, especially out of this village, you would have been a target within a few days, and we'd both be dead. Well, by now I would have regenerated somewhere, so I wouldn't have minded that…"

Naruto scratches the back of his head and begins to pace. "Makes sense… I'll need to talk to Jiji for more details, I guess." He turns back towards the fox and looks them in the eyes. "So why is it that I'm only meeting you now?"

"Oh, that? Hah..." He chuckles and leans in closer. "I needed you to be pushed to chakra exhaustion so you would draw upon my chakra and allow us to meet. Although, I was messing with your chakra control just a bit to push the issue…" He taps at the bars with his claws. "now that you know I'm here, it shouldn't be too difficult to make your way back, if you learn to meditate, and detect my chakra. Ask the old monkey about that. He may be an obnoxious human, but he's one of the few who've earned my respect without getting to the top of my 'to eat' list."

Naruto snorts at that and nods. "I'll be sure to tell him that. For now, though…" He pauses and stares down at the floor, willing one of the stone tiles to raise and give him a seat above the water. Once seated, he crosses his arms and starts to inspect the fox from afar. "Why are you so willing to help me when my death would free you?"

"Well…" The fox grumbles and closes his eyes, debating on how to answer. "… You intrigue me. You aren't blaming me for the hate you've received. You aren't a clueless fool who jumps to conclusions. You actually have some promise as a warrior, and one day, may be strong enough to keep up with my brethren and I. So, for now, I have no desire to see you die. For now, I'd much rather watch from within you and see just how far you can go." He slowly turns away from the bars to nap. "Just be careful who you tell, of course. That cycloptic fool who's training you knows already. You're allowed to tell whoever you want, really. I'm your burden to bear. Just don't be stupid and tell someone who would kill you on the spot."

That said, Naruto could only nod as the world around him slipped away. It felt so similar to losing consciousness, like being within his mindscape was just another form of it, and he was slipping back into the waking world.

What he finds on the other side is that only a few seconds have passed, and Kakashi was in the middle of kneeling to pick Naruto up and carry him home. He bolts upright and stares into empty space for a few moments before lifting his shirt and glaring at the fading seal upon his stomach. "… Did you just kick me out of my own head? Oh, it's on furball. Next time I get in there, I'm interrogating you until your fur turns gray."

Kakashi's only visible eye widens almost comically. "Naruto… how do you know about the fox?"

"I talked to him…" Naruto stumbles to his feet, swaying for a few moments as chakra exhaustion continues to throw him for a loop. "Ugh… Why the hell did he have to be so rough with knocking me out? I would have preferred worse chakra exhaustion from another two hours of this over the headache of so many clones popping at once…"

Kakashi's eye narrows as he begins to analyze what he saw only seconds ago to him. "I see… So your clones were in pain because of his chakra. It would make sense. Biju chakra is, according to some reports, paradoxically both toxic and healing. For a clone that cannot heal in a body unfamiliar with actively using that chakra, the toxicity would be the only effect, and they'd burst right away."

"That's how it works? Huh…" Naruto takes out a notebook from his jacket pocket and writes a few things down. "Would explain how fast I heal… I'll have to ask Jiji about how to build up an immunity, then." He sets his notes away and leans against a tree until his head stops spinning. "Ok… I should get back to my apartment and sleep finally. I shouldn't have trouble with making clones when the furry jackass isn't messing with my control, so I'm done training anyway…"

Kakashi nods and ruffles Naruto's hair as he passes. "Should I report to the Hokage and tell him what you know, or would you like to approach him yourself?"

"I'll do it myself…" Naruto starts to stumble away, but Kakashi just barely manages to catch the soft smile on his face as he passes. Though his head hangs in exhaustion, Kakashi knows all too well that that is the face of a man all too proud of a hard day's work. Without a word, Kakashi disappears in a gust of swirling leaves. Though out of sight, he watches Naruto all the way to his apartment and only leaves once the blonde's snoring can be heard through his windows.  
.

* * *

.

"Good morning, everyone." Iruka jots down a few notes on the condition of his students this morning as he takes attendance. Some students are acting much the same as usual. Shikamaru is asleep at his desk and dead to the world, Chouji is in the middle of his second bag of chips for the day, and Shino is as impassive and statuesque as usual. There are some that catch his eye, though.

For one, Kiba seems to have his nose in a book on hunting tactics. More interestingly, he recognizes is to be one written by a former Anbu captain who taught Kakashi how to manage his ninken summons.

Then there's Ino and Sakura. Their usual arguments and gossip have halted in favor of watching the two biggest class clowns and lowest ranked members of the class as they both apply themselves so fervently that they seem to be entranced by their studies.

Likewise, Sasuke's attentions have fallen upon them as well, rather than blocking everything out as he usually does in order to ignore the girls bickering over him. Kiba, he still doesn't care much about, but Naruto's developments interest him. Iruka can only hope that helps the young Uchiha to stop thinking so much of his troubling past. He could use a rival.

Hinata was usually enrapt by the young blonde, but his recent actions gave her an excuse to gawk openly, and she appeared to be reveling in it. Her admiration for the boy was never in short supply, but now, the pride in her eyes was almost intoxicating.

Naruto had his nose buried into the final pages of his first book on sealing, frequently peeking back to the paper on his right to compare his newest seal to the text. As he places the last stroke, in his endless confidence, he slams his hand onto it and pumps the seal full of chakra. The wood beneath the tag creaks and sinks for just a moment-

The tag proceeds to explode in his face, giving him a burnt right hand and a lungful of smoke. He coughs and hacks for a few moments until he slides the charred remains of the paper aside and slouches. "Damnit… At least it made the desk creak a bit."

Iruka steps up for a closer look. "Gravity seals? Pretty universally useful… a good choice for a second seal to master."

Naruto nods and sighs, pushing his book and practice scroll aside. With a quick handisgn, he produces a single clone to sit beside him and work on that while he focuses on the class.

Sakura just gapes a him. "Wait, I thought you couldn't make clo-" She freezes as the clone picks up the brush and begins another attempt at the gravity seal. "…. Is… is that clone real?"

"Hm?" Naruto peels his eyes from his notebook and stares at Sakura for a moment before he manages to recognize her question. "O-Oh, right! Yeah, I was taught the Kage Bunshin no Jutsu recently. Turns out I could never learn to make normal clones, because I have too much chakra to control it that well and use any genjutsu."

"Hn…" Sasuke narrows a glare his way. "And who the hell did you learn it from?"

"Alright, quiet everyone." Iruka waves a stack of papers at the class. "Naruto has no obligations to tell anyone where he learned that jutsu, anyway. For now, we'll be focusing on the newest part of our curriculum. I need each of you to come up as I call your names and take one of these sheets, then channel your chakra through it. How the paper reacts will tell us what elemental natures each of you have. Better yet, this batch was treated in a way that now allows it to clearly display secondary elements as well, so we won't just be getting your main elements out of this. Most people have proficiencies in one with a slight alignment for another, and we'll be able to see the secondary elements and how strong those proficiencies are based on how the paper reacts." As studious as he is, he doesn't need a list to call names from. "Aburame Shino."

The white-cloaked young man steps to the front of the class in silence. A quick tap of the sheet offered to him resulted in it crumpling and folding into jagged edges, then going rigid and shattering, the falling pieces crumbling further. "Interesting. My clan rarely resorts to using elements, so we never developed any genetic proficiency in any. I couldn't be certain of what to suspect, but this is a fairly unique response. The combination of lightning and earth will provide many challenging possibilities."

"Certainly so." Iruka nods and pinches at his chin for a moment while losing himself in thought. "It shouldn't be difficult to find anyone to teach you these two. Earth is the most common element, and although lightning is less common, we have the third most of them compared to Kumogakure and Kirigakure." Shino nods and turns to return to his seat, while Iruka calls up the next student. "Akamichi Chouji."

The young man grumbles as he sets his bag of chips down and stumbles to the front of the class. "You know us clan kids are just gonna have pretty obvious elements. It's hereditary. Most people in my clan are earth users." He takes the paper and watches it crumble to dust, but the ash-like pale dust lights up and burns away. He raises an eyebrow and grins. "But that's interesting."

"Well, that's not too surprising." Iruka chuckles softly. "That's the second most common element in this village to begin with. Earth is only more common because it's the most common element in the world in general. Just try not to learn any fire jutsu in closed spaces or without supervision." He waves the Akamichi back to his seat and checks his list again. "Haruno Sakura."

The pinkette perks up and pushes herself from her seat to race down the stairs, but Ino calls out to her. "Hey, maybe you'll get wind and fire! That'd explain all the hot air filling up that balloon of a forehead!"

She stumbles and trips for a moment on the stairs, barely managing to catch herself and glare back at her former best friend. "Can it, pig! You're probably gonna end up with earth and water for all the mud you're wallowing in!" She grunts and stomps the rest of the way down, grabbing a sheet from Iruka and nearly crushing it in her grasp. It then proceeds to powderize and soak into a mushy pulp that splatters onto the floor. She stares down at the mush at her feet as silence falls throughout the room.

Until Kiba has to cut in. "So… does that make Sakura the mud Ino's been rolling in?" His perverse grin is accompanied by a cacophony of laughter throughout the room, even Hinata and Shikamaru becoming intoxicated by it and failing to stifle their own quiet giggling and chuckling.

Sakura's face burns beet red, turning to face them all with a glare. "Oh, hell no! I don't swing that way!" She freezes and stares as Ino remains eerily quiet and reserved, a faint blush across her face as she avoids eye contact. Sakura stammers for a moment, but sighs and groans, returning to her seat in silence and slamming her forehead into the desk.

Iruka sighs and rubs the back of his neck. "Well, that combination's probably one of the best for you. You already have great control, and these two are best for mastering fine chakra control for genjutsu and medical jutsu." He huffs and waits a moment for the class to calm down for a moment before returning to the testing order. "Hyuga Hinata." Hinata scrambles out of her seat, still having a slight anxiety spike over having lost her composure and laughed at Sakura's expense. Her timid tip-toeing down the stairs only manages to prolong her anxiety as all eyes fall upon her. By the time she reaches Iruka, she can feel their combined gaze drilling into her back. She barely manages to reach out and take the paper, only to yelp as it's cut clean in two, then dampens and lands beside Sakura's mush pile with a gentle splat. "Oh?" She turns her gaze up to Iruka, who grins and crosses his arms. "Congratulations, Hinata. You have the rarest element in the world! Even Suna can't manage to produce many natural wind users, and it may be potentially one of the best elements for your clan. Paired with water, you'll be able to refine your flow and accuracy of your techniques even further."

Hinata stumbles back as she struggles to process the good fortune that's fallen into her lap. "I-I have… that much potential?"

"That's great, Hinata!" Her attention is drawn to the loudmouth blonde in the stands, whose clone has even stopped training his fuuinjutsu to write up a banner saying 'Congratulations!' across a good length of one of his practice scrolls. "You're gonna be awesome!" He pauses and side-eyes his clone. "Did you just- Ah whatever, this is worth that much paper and more. Couldn't you have written that better, though? It's sloppy!"

"Oy, I had about three seconds to write this up, let's see you do better!" Silence falls as everyone's attentions are drawn to the young man bickering with himself.

"You could have done that with half the paper and still made bolder strokes! There's too much of a gap between each hiragana!"

"I said I was rushing! Besides, my faults are yours too!"

"Bullshit, I made a faulty clone!"

"Faulty clone of a tyrannical dumbass."

The original Naruto stares blankly at him before pulling a practice kunai from his pouch and swinging it down. The clone only has half a second to beg for mercy before he's popped into a cloud of smoke and promptly replaced. He stares down the new one. "Be sure to do better than the last one." He finally looks away from his clone and around the room, finding all eyes on him, some annoyed, some amused, others just confused. He chuckles nervously and scratches the back of his head. "S-Sorry… my clones get mouthy. I-I think it's because they're temporary and have no survival instinct."

Shikamaru raises a brow at that. "That's even dark for me."

Ino gives Shika her death glare. "Did you just-"

"Alright, settle down, everyone." Iruka sighs, rubs his temples. Of course Naruto would find a way to turn something so impressive into something annoying. It did provide Hinata with a good distraction so she could return to her seat in peace, though. "Alright. Inuzuka Kiba."

"About time." He chuckles and saunters to the front of the class with his hands in his hoodie pockets and Akamaru half asleep atop his head. "Mind if we test Akamaru while we're at it? He can channel chakra, so he should be able to."

"Oh?" Iruka pauses and pinches his chin again. "Interesting… alright, I've got a few extra sheets." He hands one to Kiba first, who grins as it crumbles and burns.

"Interesting." Iruku kneels to inspect the remains. "Although your elements are the same as Chouji's, your proficiencies are more balanced between the two. The paper didn't crumble as finely as Chouji's did, and the flames were hotter. I'd say the ratios come down to around 3:1 for Chouji, and 3:2 for you."

"That so? Huh. Well, I'm sure I can work with it." He peeks up to Akamaru and holds a second sheet to the silent pup. He lets off a cheerful yap before biting the paper and watching it fold and crinkle. "And looks like you're lightning, bud! Hell yeah! Uh-" He stares for a moment as Akamaru takes a bite out of the paper and mumbles something in his clan's canine language. "And apparently this paper is surprisingly sweet. Huh." Snorts and laughter break out throughout the room as Kiba sighs and walks back to his seat.

"Shikamaru Nara."

The laziest ninja in the village, save for maybe Izumo and Kotetsu, AKA The Gatekeepers, makes his way to the front of the class somehow even slower than the anxiety stricken Hyuga. He picks up the paper and watches as random patches of it either burn or become damp, resulting in the two snuffing each other out after a few seconds, leaving a piece of water-warped dry paper with charred patches surrounding small holes burnt through. "Hm. So I inherited my mom's water, huh? Weird… I never took after her much. Guess this is something she'll be proud of. Troublesome…" He sighs and walks off with the paper as evidence. "She's probably gonna slave-drive me into learning a water jutsu by graduation now."

"Um…" Iruka chuckles nervously. "Ok then…" _'Great, now Yoshino's gonna be on my ass too if I don't start pushing him more in class.'_ He clears his throat and calls the next student down. "Uchiha Sasuke."

"Hn…" Sasuke squeezes his way out from between the fangirls flanking him and makes his way to the front of the class with annoyance etched into every crease in his face. "Isn't this a waste of time? My whole clan specialized in fire. That paper's just gonna burst into flames." He grabs it and freezes as the paper first folds and crumples into the most jagged patterns yet, then bursts into flames and scatters ash across the front of the class. "… What?"

"Hmm.." Iruka inspects the resulting ash. "Well, you clearly still have a strong affinity for fire, but it appears your primary element is actually lightning. You'll probably still learn fire jutsu as easily as the rest of your clan did, but lightning should still be your specialty."

".. Um… right." Sasuke sighs and shoves his hands buried in his pockets on the way back to his seat, glaring into empty space all the way.

"Ok then…" Iruka grins up into the stands. "Uzumaki Naruto."

"Hell yeah!" Naruto of course lacks the patience to walk, instead leaping over his desk and clean over everyone's heads, landing before his favorite teacher and grabbing the paper with enthusiasm only someone as hyperactive as himself could muster. In his endless excitement, he pumps the paper full of far too much chakra, causing it to be cut to ribbons and even cut his hands a bit in the process, then the remaining pieces crack and crumble. Silence falls as everyone takes a moment to let whatever just happened sink in. "Well…" Iruka chuckles and leans down to congratulate his adoptive little brother. "Congratulations, Naruto. You're a natural wind user, and it seems you have a decent secondary affinity for earth too!"

After a few moments of registering what just happened, Naruto cheers and leaps nearly to the ceiling. "HELL YEAH! Ya hear that Hinata-chan? I've got wind too! We're both gonna be AWESOME!" For now, all anyone can manage to do is gawk at the young blonde. In the span of a month, he'd gone from dead last and nobody to being a trap master, learning fuuinjutsu, and now having wind chakra up his sleeve. Even Kiba, who'd dropped into dead last among their group with Naruto's advancements, was starting to catch up, and had three elements at his disposal. This was the last spark most of them needed under their asses to realize they all had to kick it into high gear to not be humiliated by falling behind these two.

Hinata on the other hand is just watching her crush with the widest smile she could remember ever having plastered on her face. She's never seen him so happy, and now, she knows for certain that he not only knows she exists, but really cares.

"Hey, what about me?!" Ino bolts up from her seat. "I need my test yet!"

Iruka sighs and waves her down. "I didn't forget. Naruto's just… ignore him and walk around, he'll be at this for a while." Ino runs down to the front of the class and nearly bowls Naruto over, grabbing her test sheet and raising it to the ceiling. It crumples and folds spastically, then grows damp, breaks away from her grasp, and splats onto her face.

"So, Naruto…" The Sandaime takes a puff from his pipe, breathing out various smoke patterns into the air, altered by his chakra. "How's your training going? Kakashi told me you were successful with the Kage Bunshin over the weekend. Quite the addition to your arsenal, I must say." He chuckles softly. "And an old favorite of mine, passed onto me by my sensei, the Nidaime."

Naruto perks up and raises an brow. "The Nidaime made that? Huh… good to know. But anyway, I'm here for something bigger. Like… big enough that you may wanna seal the door."

Asura narrows his eyes for a moment, but nods and uses a quick half handsign to seal and soundproof the room. "That's quite the statement, Naruto. What do you have to speak of that's so confidential?"

He smirks and crosses his arms, left foot propped up on his right knee. "Well, you might wanna know that the Kyuubi says you're one of the few people to earn his respect without making him want to eat you."


	5. Guardians

Sarutobi Hiruzen rubs at the bridge of his nose, then reaches into the top left drawer of his desk, retrieving a small sample of a dried medicinal herb for his pipe. Well, many people wouldn't call it medicinal, but at his age, stress is potentially fatal. In his case, it is medicinal. "Should have done something to that furry orange bastard's tongue before Minato sealed him. So how long have you known, then?"

Naruto leans back in his chair, staring at the ceiling. "Hmm… three days now? It was the night Kakashi sensei taught me the Kage Bunshin no Jutsu." He rolls his eyes. "Apparently, he saw chakra exhaustion as a good way to put me under and get my attention."

The old monkey lights his pipe with a quick application of fire chakra and takes a puff. "Sounds about right. That seal is a fine piece of work, the likes of which even my best student couldn't reproduce, but there's still notable flaws."

The blonde scratches his head. "Yeah, I tried studying it with a clone, but what little sealing knowledge I have so far isn't half as much as I'd need to understand even the smallest pieces of this seal. So what weaknesses do you know, then?"

"Well, let's see…" He blows out a ring a smoke, reshaping it into an Uzumaki clan spiral with pure chakra control. "Running out of your own chakra and still attempting to use more will draw from the fox's chakra as a backup source. Doing so might impair your judgement as his will seeps into your mind. Secondly, heightened states of emotion can draw upon it, namely rage, hate, potentially sorrow, or even fear. That's all a side effect of the seal's function to leak bits of its chakra into your system at a constant rate to help you acclimate to it."

"Hmmm…" Naruto pulls a notebook from his pocket and jots down a few things. "Ok… so what about not telling me for so long?" He gives the elderly leader a half-lidded, half-hearted glare.

Hiruzen falls silent for a few moments, then sighs and hangs his head. "I may be Hokage, but my power is not absolute. The fact of what you are makes you a prime target for our enemies, should news escape the village. If Iwa especially found out, you would have been dead within a few weeks. Besides that, I decided it would be best for you to grow up knowing you had a choice to become a ninja, rather than feeling it's your duty as a jinchuuriki. So, to maintain as much normalcy as possible, I forbade anyone to speak of your condition." He grumbles. "Sadly, news spread too quickly before I could make that decree, and many parents in the village were already privy to your status."

"Well, that explains a lot…" Naruto puts his book away and crosses his arms. "... goddamnit, Jiji. You really screwed the pooch on that one."

He groans and nods, burying his wrinkled face into rough, worn hands. "That I did, Naruto. It's quite possible one of the worst-kept secrets in the village. Outside it, news has yet to spread, but inside…

Naruto snorts. "I may as well wear a nametag saying 'Hello, I am the Kyuubi Jinchuuriki, please stab me.'" He closes his eyes and lets it all sink in. "… Well… now that I'm in on that secret, I just have one last thing to ask you." The Hokage peeks up and props his chin on folded hands. "… Can I have express permission to test non-lethal versions of my traps on anyone who's treated me like shit or overcharged me for it?"

A sly grin stretches across the kage's sagging face. "I'll let the anbu know not to step in. Oh, and now that we're on to lighter topics…" He pulls a cross from his desk and tosses it. "That contains three things for you. The next volume on sealing, Yoko's ninken license, and the directions for applying the seal that identifies her as one."

Naruto looks through the scroll for a moment, then smiles and nods. "I'll get right on it, then. Thanks, Jiji!" He rushes out of the room and nearly jump down the entire flight of stairs, leaving Hiruzen behind seemingly alone.

"… You may have to speak to him sooner than you'd planned."

A sigh comes from behind him with no discernable source, until an old white-haired sage in a red vest fades into view. "Maybe. But, the real me's still two countries north in Gohangakure, weeding out that snake. He's got a couple leads to look into out east and likely to be there for a few months soon, probably until August." He chuckles a bit. "So hey, when the runt passes and gets a C rank, try and send him out that way."

Hiruzen nods. "I certainly will, if the chance arises. For now, I believe you're almost out of chakra. Best release yourself so you have enough left to get everything you just heard and said to the original."

"Yeah, I'm goin. Catch ya later, sensei." A quick pop and a puff of smoke alerts him to the disappearance of Jiraiya clone. For now, the old kage has much to think about.

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* * *

.

The following weekend was pure mayhem.

Ten different grocers discovered that their produce had been rigged with small explosives, splattering their halls and walls with various impromptu smoothies. Any attempts to disarm them was met with a new uniform that would match their latest fruity décor.

A few ninja tool and weapon stores would find their doors, walls, and displays all plastered with posters advertising a sale over at Higurashi Outfitters. Of course, the owners who discovered the posters immediately tried to remove them, but they were glued down rather securely. Upon attempting to use a kunai or other sharp tools to remove them, a foul-smelling gas and powder mixture would release from beneath each poster. All of those stores became too rancid for any customers to consider, and the offer of Higurashi's sale was too good to pass up. A certain bun-haired kunoichi was left wondering if she should track down this prankster and pay them for their patronage.

After Tenten had done just that and even thrown in a free set of basic tools and weapons, Naruto knew just where to take this cash. No, not Ichiraku's, as he had a much more entertaining meal in mind. A few bills in some guards' pockets, and the next day, some of Konoha's prisoners in the local station built into the cliffside north of the monument would find their meals to have an odd aftertaste, followed soon after by a constant itching in their throats and eventual diarrhea. It was such an odd coincidence that all of them happened to be former academy teachers.

And for his last trick, he decided to get a leg up on the worst group at the academy, as well as on a certain raven-haired prick's good side. The entire O.S.F.C. (Official Sasuke Fan Club) received letters informing them that a generous benefactor had discovered a 'secret training ground' that the Uchiha would be using the next day. It contained a small waterfall and stream through some relatively rocky terrain, perfect for training to handle odd-angled attacks and uneven terrain. In this case, he said the Uchiha would be testing his ability to maintain a fire jutsu against water and overpower it. Just the kind of hype that the fangirls would buy into.

When they arrived, they were treated to the sight of a shirtless Sasuke meditating beneath the waterfall. They all watched from afar for a few moments, and as soon as Naruto was certain they were all gathered, his clone changed its henge from a shirtless Sasuke to a speedo-wearing, oily, fat version of Elder Homura. This clone proceeded to dance for the girls with his tongue rolling out as they all took off screaming and gagging.

What none of the fangirls had realized was he had clones in the trees taking photos of every moment of their horrified expressions and desperate attempts to escape, which were handed off to Sasuke as payment. He cherished them for years.

.

* * *

.

There were two particular girls out of the victims of that prank that began to wonder just how she had fallen for it. One of them was seated on a bench just outside her favorite dango shop. She always had quite the sweet tooth, but it's been ages since she's indulged, in her pursuit of a 'perfect body'. Right now, she just needed comfort food to help her think over her latest plight. Sakura knew that she had clearly been fooled by not one, but two henges, and a lie that if she'd stopped thinking about Sasuke for two seconds, she would have noticed immediately. What she received for her failure was humiliation and nightmares of that whole event for the week since. She knew well enough that it was Naruto's fault, as he was the only prankster with that sort of talent and devotion to the art in the entire village. But how had Naruto of all people been able to pull the wool over her eyes?

She already knew the answer. She was weak. She'd become weaker than him, less focused than him, and her prospects as kunoichi were dimming fast from her own perspective. She bit the last piece of dango off her stick, throwing it across the street and embedding the wooden skewer into the opposing fence.

"Not bad, kid." Sakura nearly jumps out of her introspective stupor as she raises her gaze to a woman seated just a few feet to her left. Her attire was… appalling, in her opinion. The trench coat was respectable enough, but the fact she had apparently nothing but a mesh shirt beneath it and not so much as a sports bra, let alone any bra, made it almost embarrassing to be seated by her. But, her headband stood out well enough to be certain of the woman's superiority. She bites a piece of dango off her own serving and proceeds to throw it into the fence as well, almost completing a leaf insignia made of dango sticks. For a moment, Sakura had to wonder just how she was able to eat enough dango to make that, but still keep her… admittedly impressive figure. "Somethin's got you pissed off. Good. Let that fire in your belly push you to improve."

Sakura pauses for a moment, but sighs and rubs at her left temple. "I don't even know where to start. I come from a civilian family. I can't get any clan training, and I barely even recognize my own strengths. I'm smart, but… my instincts are terrible, and I don't know a single jutsu outside the academy three."

The purple haired kunoichi leans back against the wood paneling on the store's front and crosses her arms behind her head. "Well, that's not giving me much to go off of, brat. Can't excel if you can't recognize your own skills, and just pointing out weaknesses makes you sound like a whiny bitch."

"Hey!"

"If you've got the drive to complain about that, try to change my mind."

Once again, Sakura is dumbstruck. She falls silent and takes a few moments to think over everything she remembers Iruka-sensei saying about her. "… Well, my chakra control is apparently the best in the class, and I'm a balanced water and earth chakra user, though I haven't trained in either…"

"Well, that's plenty to start with!" Anko grins and finishes her last bit of dango, finishing the center of the spiral on her makeshift Kanoha symbol with its stick. "You're lucky ya found me in a good mood, kid. I'm best friends with someone who's great with genjutsu, and she even happens to have a water affinity." She stands and stretches, nearly exposing her ample assets in the process, but somehow her coat manages to keep her legally decent. Turns out, that's actually part of a chakra control exercise she uses to keep her coat attached to her chest at all times. "She'll find you. Kind of impossible to miss that hair. Just keep an eye out for red eyes, and you won't miss her either." Anko walks off wither usual sadistic smile. "I'm sure we'll meet again, Pinky. Kick some ass out there, prove kunoichi can kick just as much ass as the best of the boys."

Sakura could only watch in shock as she left, but soon, her eyes narrowed and her will became steel. A fire was lit in her heart the boiled her water chakra. Her inner self was already on a verbal self-aggrandizing tirade of epic proportions.

.

* * *

.

Ino on the other hand was already hard at work. Her nose was buried deep in a neuropsychology textbook she'd taken from her father's study, agonizingly memorizing every detail she could. Beside her was another scroll on lightning chakra application theories. She didn't hear her father enter, looking for the book and scroll she had taken without permission. She didn't hear him leave either, with a smile on his face as he considered the potential his daughter has just stumbled upon. For once, her impulsiveness paid off, and he couldn't bring himself to berate her for seeking to better herself, especially in such a surprising manner as this. For some time, he had been worried about her career as a kunoichi. Now, he felt he had little to fear at all, besides whatever monstrous jutsu she would develop.

.

* * *

.

Shikamaru sat in a meditative state on his back porch, a leaf in his hand. Any civilians to see him would just consider it his usual laziness, but Shikaku and Yoshino Nara know better. Beside him were scrolls on both fire and water chakra theory, so neither of them could be certain which element he was attempting to influence the leaf with. Would it burn to ashes in his hand, or saturate with dew and drip? There was nothing thus far, but neither of them expected any progress very soon. Elemental composition training is always a taxing process.

What neither of them knew was that he was currently sitting on the evidence of his success, one burnt leaf and one wet leaf now stuck to his ass, while he used this opportunity to nap. Shikaku suspected it, but he loved the brilliance too much to spoil it.

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* * *

.

The other recognized genius of the class was finding himself a bit hard of breathing. He takes a moment to test his hands, flexing them and finding them to feel the muscles beneath in motion. With it, he felt his newest hive respond with a gentle buzzing. "Settle down. I know, you are not yet acclimated to your new diets. Rest assured, you will thrive with it." He clenches his fist and feels a current run through his arm. "As will I."

Off to Shino's left, Shibi Aburame takes notes of the chakra reactions his own kikaichu are reporting. "Fascinating. With a few hundred short-lived generations, maybe as little as a year, you may even produce an entire new subspecies…"

.

* * *

.

The Hyuuga heiress was similarly exhausted. Small cuts and chakra burns littered her hands, and the rest of her body was lightly bruised and sore in many places, but she stood over her downed foe with a confidence she could only recall ever feeling in the moment Naruto praised her for their shared wind affinity. It was this reason that she chose to experiment with this element first, but it did not come easily. And yet, the fruits of her labor now kneel before her. A Hyuuga assigned by her father as her sparring partner for the day, holding a cut on his calf. He'd never seen this attack coming. It wasn't the Jyuken. Their clan's style was far more direct, but she had ducked under a strike towards her right shoulder, around his left, spun on her toes mid-fall, and swung a strike at his calf partially composed of wind chakra.

And her father had witnessed it all with his Byakugan. The veins in his face twitched as he took in the fine details, and although he did not smile, the faintest of twitches in his lips was enough for Hinata to see not only his surprise, but pride.

.

* * *

.

Sasuke's eyes burned with an all too familiar pride and passion. If lightning was the element he'd been handed, then he would strike like lightning itself, while the iron is still hot. If he could excel so much with fire when it was his secondary element, then he would find his grasp on lightning by the time he graduated.

It was slow-going so far. His eyes and hands burned. When he had finally gotten an electrical charge through his leaf, lighting its veins, he had overcharged it and nearly blinded himself. When the spots had cleared, he burned through the entire pile of leaves he'd collected for his training in just over an hour. Once again, his skills as a ninjutsu prodigy were proven unabashedly true.

All that was left was to scour his clan's library for his first lightning jutsu.

.

* * *

.

Chouza Akimichi was beaming at his son across the dinner table. His appetite had been worked to an all-time high, tearing through the meal with a ravenous fervor the likes of which he hadn't seen in years, but he couldn't blame the boy at all, especially with the results they achieved. Earth was a very natural element for their family, but he was taking to it quite early. Of course, the reason for that was partly due to an odd old convention of Kanoha. The high concentration of fire aligned shinobi in this village lead to efforts to delay elemental training until students were more mature, as it tended to result in frequent fires across town, until they removed it from the academy curriculum. Now, only those that passed the academy and were awarded their headbands were usually taught to wield their elements at such an age, unless their clans or a tutor or sorts aided them.

Of course, Chouji only received the best from Chouza. If his son had the drive to learn something, he would damn well teach him. The trench dug through their back yard was testament enough to the results, and his son's motivation.

.

* * *

.

Naruto lays back in his bed, staring up at his tiled ceiling with an almost blank stare, but the faintest of smiles on his face. Just four months ago, he was still a nobody. Now, he was almost done with the basics of sealing, he knew his elements, had learned a wonderful new jutsu, trap construction, and learned of his status as a jinchuuriki. He hadn't spoken with the fox in two months, not since his incident with the clone training, but that didn't mean he hadn't tried. For now, he'd have to settle for doting over the fox currently in his lap, petting her in silence as his gaze turned out the window to the full moon just now breaching the elevated horizon of the monument's cliffside. The sun had always been a spiritual champion of the people, but Naruto saw the moon as a symbol of what it truly meant to be a shinobi. A beacon of hope in the darkness, silent, ominous, and orbiting the world as a constant guardian. It was a clear, beautiful night, and he could see the stars shining as though the heavens themselves had come to tell him of a brighter future. "Tomorrow, Yoko." His smile grows wider, and his determination smolders, waiting to ignite in full at the first sign of a challenge. "We get our headband, and we take the world by storm."


	6. Long Awaited

Kanohagakure's Shinobi Academy is a surprisingly simple place. It looks about the same as any other schoolhouse, save for the nature of the installations in the yard. Occasionally, civilians can be found loitering by the schoolyard to watch their up-and-coming guardians in action, and to get just a glimpse into the life of a shinobi that's otherwise unattainable for the untrained masses. On graduation day, this is especially true. The potential of this class had drawn out an entire crowd, to the point that some of them had started climbing trees to watch from the branches, until two green-clad walking eyesores offered to carry out a set of collapsible bleachers for them.

Before their festivities could begin though, the students inside were being briefed on the changes to the upcoming exams. Iruka, Ebisu, and the Hokage himself had painstakingly designed the new exam and selected the judges. The time had finally come to test the test.

Iruka stands before his class with pride etched into a grin that could put Naruto's to shame. In the past few months, his students had become more lively and attentive than ever, and even on a day as serious as this, it showed. Naruto kept Yoko deep in his jacket, with her head poking out beneath his chin and half asleep. When he raised an eyebrow at the lazy fox putting Akamaru and Shikamaru to shame, she stuck her tongue out at him and left it there. He couldn't help but wonder how she could sleep so peacefully with Naruto in the middle of frantically scrawling another seal while attempting to explain it to two surrounding students watching with varying degrees of fascination. Shino was his usual stoic self, but as a seasoned teacher, he could tell by Shino's repeated adjustment of his glasses that he was enrapt by the impromptu lecture. Sakura on the other hand appeared to occasionally stop Naruto and ask a few questions regarding the applications of certain radicals in the seal structure. At the moment, he seemed to be in the middle of an anecdote regarding some accidents he had with sealing various liquids without containers when using a simple water seal. Considering what he had heard through the grapevine of Sakura's training, he had no doubt she was asking for the sake of mediums and shortcuts to her new jutsu.

Nearby, Sasuke seemed to be repeatedly charging a leaf he's pinned to the table with one finger full of lightning chakra, causing it to twitch and crinkle. In his right hand, he holds a textbook on neurology. Ino appears to be stealing glances at it occasionally, seeming wary of Sasuke's two choices of study, but not disapproving. Surprisingly, Ino happened to have several leaves stuck to various parts of her body, attached purely by chakra. Hinata provides a few pointers in regards to channeling chakra to places besides the hands, mouth, and feet, something many shinobi are very unfamiliar with. Although, Iruka isn't so sure Hinata should be familiar with this so soon either. As best he recalls, he's never seen a Hyuga use Kaiten before reaching Chuunin.

Kiba in the meantime was leaning back in his seat with his feet up on the desk, bragging away to Chouji about some hunting tactics he's developed, which the portly young man appraised, while Shikamaru just behind Kiba would criticize and evaluate, much to Kiba's chagrin. As he listened, Chouji was digging into a hot, steaming bowl of miso soup, but… how did it get so hot in the middle of a classroom without a microwave or oven anywhere nearby? Shikamaru of course was just as disinterested as usual, but his hands were bandaged, and a few burns were still visible on his fingertips every time he raised his arms.

Iruka already knew they would all pass with flying colors. He was certain of it. This generation of shinobi would be the most promising and capable since the Shodaime's era.

But today is the first step. It's his job to make sure they can take the leap into active duty.

"Alright!" Iruka calls out, silencing the room. "There's a change of plans for today's exam. Recently, the entire exam was rebuilt from the ground up. Rather than requiring a certain proficiency in each area, we will be grading your skills in all areas based on level of proficiency compared to active duty shinobi. Those collective skill grades will then be combined to see your official skill rating compared to active genin and records of prior students. So…." He stomps on a particular floorboard and triggers the opening of a door to the schoolyard. "We'll be starting with a new obstacle course meant to test your agility, reflexes, speed, and observational skills all in one go. Step out and line up in alphabetical order at the start of the course."

Naruto chuckles and rolls his scroll back up, then jostles Yoko awake as he stands. Nobody's surprised to see him leading the way out, but Shino is close behind to take his spot at the front of the line. Outside the door, they all see a wall erected between them and the course, with a single curtained doorway on the far side. "Hmm.." Shino muses aloud with a smirk hidden beneath his collar. "Keeping us blind to the course. We must improvise rather than strategize. Not quite my forte, but certainly a boon to any shinobi worth their meddle. Color me impressed, Iruka-sensei." He rushes through the curtain, and all students back in the line can hear the cheers of the audience among the whirring, swinging, and snapping of various traps and machines.

Naruto peeks down to Yoko and whispers something to her, but the Inuzaka ahead of him hears the exchange well enough to decide to one-up him. The moment Kiba's called to the door, Akamaru jumps down from atop his head and stands beside him. "Ready, partner? Let's show them what a real shinobi can do…" The pup beside him yips and shifts into a sprinting stance. The moment Iruka says 'hajime', he's off.

The first thing he sees on the other side of the door is a tarpit trap. He and Akamaru leap clean over it with ease, not even needing the rafters placed above to clear it. He could tell at a glance that one of them was false and would fall right into the tar once he put his weight on it anyway. Once across the tarpit, the floor was apparently dusted with something quite slippery, possibly a lot of chalk dust, forcing him to slide towards a series of spinning posts and swinging bars of various lengths at him. He ducks low and under the first, then jumps into a low aerial roll parallel to the ground to slip between the next two. He thrusts his right foot into the ground to push himself over the last set of them, flipping over it and landing on his hands on the other side. He then kicks Akamaru up and over the wall ahead of them, before pushing off the ground and vaulting over it himself. On the other side of the wall, he finds himself falling towards another much smaller tarpit trap. He and Akamaru kick off the wall they just leapt over to propel themselves over it, then roll under a door closing on the other side. As it closes, he can see that there was another route over the now closed door that would have taken him another five seconds to get through a series of hanging platforms and branches. He scoff and walks across the finish line with a grin. "Best time yet, right?"

The three judges off to the side of the track nod, one very eager Nara Yoshino raising a card with a 10 on it. The violette kunoichi beside her levels an unenthused stare at her before giving Kiba a thumbs-up, while choosing to ignore the young man's attention being drawn to her less than decent attire. Ebisu adjusts his shades and makes a few notes on his grading sheet, remaining silent and professional.

The various other attempts are mostly impressive, but none quite compared to Kiba's. His combination of reflex, instinct, speed, and strength, is the perfect setup for a gauntlet of that nature. Shino took it almost leisurely, but with fine control of his actions, struggling most with the second tar pit past the wall and having to hang from the top of it for a moment. Chouji was the second slowest, but he managed to prove his strength by getting clean over both the pits without having to use the climbing mechanisms and lacking Kiba's aerial expertise. Ino ended up being third slowest, but her acrobatics through the rafters were clearly showing off a bit. Hinata on the other hand didn't need to show off, those motions were natural and faster to her. Sakura was a bit faster than Ino, but was nearly hit during the second stage. Naruto, Sasuke, and Hinata were the only ones besides Kiba fast to get through the gate before it closed and not have to take the overhead route, although ironically, Naruto took the overhead route instead of the gate, with Yoko taking the low path through the gate as it closed. Shikamaru of course took it easy and completed it at as casually as possible, and managed to show off his chakra control by already getting over the wall with the wall walking technique, although the judges had noticed a few others using it more subtly in the midst of faster and more practical traversal.

As soon as Ino steps across the finish line, panting softly and glaring at the sadist in the judge's box, Iruka directs them all to the series of targets set up ahead of them. There's twenty targets in total, some at odd angles, and a few on tracks to keep the in motion. "Alright, students. I'm sure you're all astute enough to get the gist of this one. So, everyone line up to throw!"

Hinata smirks as she takes up her tools. Ever since taking up her wind and water chakra training, she's found it far easier to use these tools, and only getting easier. She peeks ahead to the front of the line and finds Shino getting sneaky with applying a few kikaichu to each kunai and using them to course correct mid-flight, earning himself far better scores than earlier in the year. His bugs weren't perfect, but they narrowed his margin of error considerably enough. Chouji had some of the worst aim there, but his kunai were buried a bit deeper. No performances really stood out until Hinata began to fling her kunai and shuriken in rapid succession, her aim near flawless, only managing to miss the bullseye on two of the moving targets. Kiba and Shikamaru haven't improved much in this field, although Shika's aim was never bad to begin with. Naruto's improved a bit, Sasuke excels as always, but oddly enough, Ino gets marks that almost catch up to the doujutsu heirs.

With the last few results jotted down, Iruka nods and waves everyone back inside. "Ok, time for the written test, then a surprise final round of the exam. So far, I'm expecting most of you will have no problems passing."

Naruto smirks as he leads the way back in, knowing everyone's watching his back. He had always excelled more in the physical aspects of being a shinobi, so they knew he'd do well enough in this part, but none of them knew what to expect of his intellectual grade. Of course, none of them knew of a little binge-reading trick he learned. Clones make learning so much fun.

.

* * *

.

"So… what do you think of them now?" At the back of the civilian crowd that had been watching the students through this phase of the exam, now beginning to split up, two henged shinobi discuss the results in the shade of a tree. One's voice is aged and stern, and the other, smooth and casual.

"Well…" The casual one chuckles to himself. "The trend of setting the rookie and the dead last on the same team will have to be broken. There are no dead-lasts here. I still intend to have the previous suspected team under my wing, though. Considering how quickly Naruto is growing… I say we should be a bit more honest with him. He knows about the fox already, and he's stayed silent on the matter and taken it in stride. He already has his father's book. It's only a matter of time before he starts piecing it together himself at this rate."

The elder nods and lights a cigarette with fire chakra from his thumb. "Maybe… I have plans to have him meet Jiraiya as soon as he can receive a C rank mission outside the village. If you are indeed his sensei, you will be present for it. The sensei, the student, and the son all together. I wish I could be there to witness it."

"You could always send a clone."

"… Why the hell didn't I think of that?"

.

* * *

.

Shikamaru had been asleep at his desk less than a third of the way into their allotted time for the written test. Of course, nobody was surprised by this in the slightest. Soon after followed Sakura, Shino, and Ino. Hinata and Sasuke completed it just past the halfway mark, and Naruto happened to finish about ten minutes before Kiba, and almost at the same time as Chouji. The moment it was completed, and ahead of schedule to Iruka's surprise, he gathered them and stood beside the door to the hallway. "Excellent work, everyone! Now, while these are graded, we'll move on to the final portion of the exam. This time, rather than testing the basic three academy jutsu, we'll be performing mock battles. You all will be challenged by assigned chuunin to test your combat capabilities and rate you accordingly. These battles will be in enclosed, uniform spaces prepared in a training ground nearby. You'll report to your assigned room, and the battle will begin. You may all bring whatever tools you wish, and you have one hour to gather your supplies and report back to training ground 24 for the final exam. Dismissed!"

"Hai!" A few students break off from their seats and split up to prepare. Naruto lounges back in his seat and peeks over to Shikamaru, who has… gone back to sleep already. Hinata on the other hand appears to be fidgeting slightly in her seat. Even for someone as oblivious as Naruto, her anxiety is as clear as day. He has no hesitation in getting up and climbing the stairs to her seat. "What's got you so worried, Hinata?"

"Eep!" The shyest of Hyugas buries herself deeper into her jacket, attempting to disappear into fur-lined hood. "… I… I-I just… don't know if I can c-c-cut it in a real f-fight…"

".. Bullshit."

Hinata blanches and stammers for a moment. "W-W-what?.."

Naruto crosses his arms and glares at nobody in particular. "You're just… yeah, you're really kind, and kinda quiet, but you have some of the best grades in the class, you're the best fighter among any of the girls, you have great aim, and you have awesome elements! I'm sure you'll be great in a real fight! You just gotta find something to drive you to give it your all, ya know? Something that gets you fired up!"

Hinata stares in slack-jawed awe through his entire rant, then blushes down to her shoulders as she looks away. "W-Well, um.. m-maybe! I-I guess I just need to t-think about w-what that is…"

Naruto flashes his signature ear to ear grin. "I'm sure you'll figure it out! You probably already know, ya just gotta let it hit you at the right time."

Off to the side, Shika groans quietly and twitches. _Really, Naruto? How are you so damn oblivious?_

_._

* * *

.

The time had finally come. Naruto wandered along the walls of a wooden structure erected in the middle of training ground 24. The wood was unpainted and plain, but somehow seemed to still be alive, despite its unnatural shape. Eventually, he stops at door 9, finding that a bit ironic. Maybe it's on purpose. Either way, he knew his final roadblack between the academy and his headband stood just beyond it. As directed, he pushed the door open and wandered into a very dimly lit room. Inside, he finds the silhouette of a single man standing across from him. He cracks his knuckles and scoffs. "So, you ready to get your ass beat?"

A shockingly familiar voice muses back to him. "Beat my ass, huh? Yeah… if hadn't trained so much for this, maybe you could have." The lights flicker on overhead, and the smiling face of his favorite sensei greets him. "But I've been working on polishing my skills for this day, Naruto. You deserve no less than my best."

Naruto gapes and stumbles. "I-Iruka-sensei? You're really my opponent?" At first, Iruka raises a brow and tilts his head at his student's reaction, worried about his willingness to risk harm to someone to precious to him. That is, until Naruto's face is consumed in an almost sadistic, confident grin. "… I didn't know I wanted to fight you so bad until it hit me just now. I wanna see just what you've got, sensei! And how I measure up!"

Iruka matches his favorite student's smile and draws one of the blunted kunai. "Good! But before we start this… I have a request."

"Hm?" Naruto slowly shifts into a combat stance. "What would that be?"

"… Don't hold anything back… and whoever loses must accept an undeniable command, as long as it's not illegal or immoral."

"… Iruka-sensei… you're even cooler than I thought. You're on!" He rushes in to strike, taking his classic head-strong frontal approach from his earliest academy days. Iruka sighs and lowers his crossed arms, then swings a kick for Naruto's jaw as he closes in. Suddenly, Naruto's speed doubles and he rushes past the kick for a clean punch to Iruka's ribs. He cringes and ducks back, hand-standing and swinging both legs up into Naruto to force him off. In doing so, Yoko is thrown from his jacket, and lands on Iruka's left leg, clawing and gnawing at it.

"GAH!" Iruka quickly flips back and drives his captured shin into the floor, forcing a yelp out of the fox and loosening her grip, allowing him to roll aside and kick her off just as Naruto comes down to stomp at the same spot in his ribs where he'd taken that first punch. Once up, he backflips away and inspects his leg wounds. "That… was pretty good. I didn't expect you to be that fast. I-It was like you started with training weights on…. Gravity seals, right?"

Naruto chuckles and hops around a bit to test himself. "Yep! Took me a while to get em down. Figured you'd get it quickly, considering you saw me writing them in class… and failing. Upside is, I figured out how I screwed it up to dent the desk when I made it, then found a new use for them!"

Iruka blanches at that. "…. You've got to be shitting me." He groans and uprights himself. "Fine then. I'll have to use more than the basics." He ducks Yoko's attempt at leaping onto his head from behind, then grabs her as she passes and flings her towards Naruto as he approaches, forcing him to catch her. As she flies, he cycles through the ryuu, tora, and u handsigns. "Suiton: Mizureppa!" He unleashes a powerful water stream from his mouth, blasting them both and forcing them to skid back, with Yoko taking the brunt of the blast. As it ends, Naruto huffs, drops the fox- and it bursts into smoke. His eyes widen as the smoke fills the room. "A-A fox shaped smoke bomb?! What the hell? How did you even teach her the Kawarimi?"

"Oh, I didn't." He chuckles as the room is filled with the sound of various smoky explosions. Iruka's eyes narrow as he detects exactly what's waiting for him in the smoke. "Remember, I trained with the Inuzaka. I learned to walk like a fox, act like a fox, and think like a fox. That was never Yoko." As the smoke clears, Iruka finds himself surrounded by fifty clones, one of them towards the front wearing a shit-eating grin, as Yoko pokes her head out from the back of his jacket, over his shoulder. "You were always good at picking up on my henges, but ya never expected me to henge into myself with a passenger, did ya? All I had to do was make a clone behind me while Yoko had you distracted with your leg. When ya kicked her aside, I replaced her with a clone henged into her, and henged the two of us to hide the hunchback in my jacket!"

Iruka stares, bewildered, but sighs and closes his eyes. "Not bad, Naruto. I guess it's a good thing I learned this one, then." Just as the clones rush him, he begins to duck and weave between them, apparently not needing to see them to detect where they are. It's taxing, but he knows this won't be a drawn-out battle either way. Naruto's already proven himself, but this is personal now. He ducks the first few clones as their uncoordinated attacks run into each other and they disperse themselves. As his hands work on new handsigns, his left leg lunges out to catch two clones who attempt to attack low. A tenth of them are already down, and two more soon follow as he jumps into a scissor kick. Upon landing, he finishes a set of tora, u, inu, ushi, and uma. "Suiton…" He slams his hands into the floor. "Rajairu Mizureppa!" A blast of pressurized water shoots out in all directions, catching most of the clones, missing only four who were just far enough to leap out of range, and popping them all. Yoko had been stalking about among them to approach and took a hit as well, leaving her limping about at the edge of the jutsu's radius.

But Naruto is nowhere to be seen. Iruka hums and muses to himself as he wonders where the boy could be. "Hmmm… let me see…" He turns and lings shuriken into all the remaining clones, then throws a kunai into a nearby wall, forcing Naruto to leap out from behind the genjutsu-camouflaged tarp. He knew Naruto couldn't have learned the genjutsu for the professional version of that, or had prep time to mimic that specific wall, so… "You have seals on the other side of that one that make it blend in automatically, don't you?"

"Yep." Naruto chuckles, seeming a bit winded. "That'd be right. That took me over a month to figure out once I got the idea."

Iruka pants and smirks. "You never cease to amaze, Naruto. Alright… one last round. This is where it ends!" He takes the offensive this time, charging Naruto far faster than he had expected, exceeding his own speed once the seals were turned off. He feigns running to Naruto's left for a moment, but follows it up with a leap and a spin kick to the back of Naruto's head. When he manages to barely block in time, he kicks off Naruto's forearm and backflips, forcing the student to the ground with the force of his kick. Once in the air, he fires another Mizureppa at Yoko as she attempts to approach. Back on his feet, he charges Naruto as he scrambles to his feet, but Iruka releases a second water jutsu at Naruto's feet. "Suiton: TsuruTsuru Hedoro!" He'd have to thank Izumo for the pointers on this one. The slime slipped Naruto up and kept him off his feet, allowing Iruka to close the gap and hold his kunai to his student's throat. "Heh… good work, Naruto. But as usual, you bit off a bit more than you can chew."

Naruto's slack-jawed stare maintains silence between them for a few moments, until he can manage to gather his thoughts and smile. "I always knew you were awesome, sensei. I may have lost, but I'm glad I finally got to see just how awesome you really are away from that desk."

Iruka smiles and stashes his kunai, then offers Naruto a hand and helps him to his feet. He slips for a few moments until he's pulled out of the slime patch. "You did incredibly yourself, Naruto. You didn't have to win this fight to pass, ya know. You just had to prove your skills, and you did that in spades. You may have lost the battle… but you earned your headband."

Naruto's eyes widen, his gaped mouth soon arching into the widest smile of his life. "I-I passed?! I'm a ninja?!"

Iruka crouches to his level and nods. "You did it, Naruto." He reaches to the back of his head and unties his headband, offering it to him. "And honestly, I want you to have this one."

Naruto's emotional roller coaster drops to another awe-induced low. "W-What?... But…" He laughs softly. "… I was gonna ask for that as my reward for the bet if I won."

"I know." Iruka grins. "And for my reward for the bet… I want you to move in with me."

Naruto stumbles back in shock for a moment, nearly dropping the headband. "W-Wait... you… y-you really want me to do that?"

He nods somberly, his smile fading into one far gentler, but genuine. "… I should have asked a long time ago… but you were my student. I couldn't. Too much favoritism. But now… as a graduate… we've waited too long as it is, Naruto. If you want… I can even have Hokage-sama prepare some adoption papers." Silence falls as Naruto struggles with that concept. He'd never had a family before. He'd never known anyone to truly love him. Now, he doesn't know how to react…. But he knows he needs it more than he could ever say. Without a word, he rushes into Iruka's arms holds onto him for dear life, fighting back tears of joy. Iruka gently rubs his back and gives him time to calm down. "… When you're ready, we'll collect your things and head home… son."

Naruto nods eagerly, pulling back just enough to rub the tears off his face and look up to him. "L-Let's go h-home…"

Iruka sighs in relief as he stands, mentally praising himself for thinking ahead and talking to the Hokage about this ahead of time. As a result, the old man handled some of the first payment on the new two-bedroom apartment, and started forwarding Naruto's living expenses he'd managed for his prior apartment to Iruka's account. They both knew Naruto would leap at this opportunity. It wasn't even a slight gamble.

As they leave, Anko watches through the one-way glass on the far end of the arena with a smile plastered on her face as well. "Huh… a better fighter than I thought, a looker, and a family man…"

Ebisu looks to her and stares blankly. "… You better not make him too twisted. We need him."


	7. Family, Friends, and Fuckery

Naruto wakes to find himself staring at an unfamiliar faded teal ceiling. Yoko's rhythmic breathing against his side keeps him calm and grounded long enough to recall the events of the previous evening. Tears almost instantly came to his eyes. It hadn't been a dream. He actually has a real home now.

After the exam, he and Iruka had gone back to Naruto's apartment to pick up all his things. It only took about five minutes to pack, as Naruto really didn't own much, and they didn't need to bring any of the furniture. That, and Naruto's sealing scrolls made quick work of it. After seeing just how sparse Naruto's wardrobe was, they took a quick trip to get him a new one and a new set of professional kunai, shuriken, and other odds and ends. After that was of course an obligatory stop at Ichiraku's to celebrate before returning home.

Unbeknownst to Naruto, Iruka didn't live here long. When he proposed adopting Naruto to the Hokage, the aging philanthropist offered to give them both Minato and Kushina's old apartment. For now, Iruka only knew this was once Naruto's parents' place, but was not informed of their identities. He knew already, of course. The sly grin he gave Hiruzen made that clear enough without need for words. Iruka knew Kushina and Minato well enough. Not as well as Kakashi, but enough to put the pieces together.

The remainder of their night was spent helping Naruto to set his new bedroom up, and a few hours in the livingroom, chatting late into the night and eagerly discussing training and some of Iruka's more interesting experiences on the field before he became a teacher. A few of those stories even inspired a few more seal and trap designs, some of which left Iruka shivering at the thought of the nightmares he just helped to create.

When it was finally time for Naruto to sleep, he'd passed out within a few minutes with a genuine smile still plastered on his face. Now waking to find it hadn't just been one of the many sweet dreams that have taunted him with the idea of a family and a home only to rip it away, Naruto couldn't possibly be more grateful.

At least, he thought so until he smelt bacon.

He kicked at the air and sprung straight to his feet, only to get tangled in his blanket and trip. He remains faceplanted on the carpet for a few moments until Yoko licks his face. "… Yes, good morning, Yoko. Go to-" He pauses for a moment. "… Go to dad. I'll catch up in a minute." That word… It's still so foreign, but so right. After hearing Yoko trot out of the room, he takes his time untangling himself, then stumbles out to the dining room in his pinstripe pajamas. If only he could have known the world changing moment that took place here, the simple decision made right where he stands that determined so much of his life. For now though, all that mattered to him was the man he now called his father, and his scarred face grinning down to him from beside the table as he dished out a homecooked breakfast.

"Good morning, Naruto. Hope you slept we-" The wind is nearly knocked out of him by another of Naruto's rare, but overpowering hugs. He stares for a moment, but sighs and smiles, kneeling own to hug him in return. He knows better than to speak and ruin this moment. Yoko steps up and circles around them, rubbing against their legs, and providing the last bit of comfort Naruto needs to feel like he's truly home. For the first time in his life… he's home.

.

* * *

.

Naruto's attachment to orange was, oddly enough, a fluke caused by his condition as a jinchuuriki and the town's reaction. It was difficult for him to get affordable clothes, so for something durable enough to withstand his training, he had to pick the cheapest option. Of course, it ended up being his "kill me" orange jumpsuit. He got attached to it pretty fast, learning to love the color and adapt it as a part of his personality. It's bold, it's confident, and it's rare to see anyone wearing it for anything but work-risk-related reasons.

Thankfully, Iruka managed to convince Naruto to take up an outfit that uses it far less predominantly.

Naruto stands in front of the mirror to inspect himself. His jacket's been replaced with a deep gray hoodie with burnt orange on the hem, wrists, down the middle along the zipper, and on the entire inner lining. The inside is full of dozens of pockets to easily stash scrolls over scrolls and various extra tools if the pouch on his lower back is compromised. He tops it off with khaki cargo pants, providing him with yet more pockets. His sandals are swapped for similar boots for the sake of the closed toes and stronger soles. As he's inspecting himself, Yoko leaps up into his hood and curls up there. Naruto rolls his eyes and checks that the Uzumaki symbol on his shoulder is still in place, embroidered in his new burnt orange. He knows a larger version of the same is on his back, but Yoko making his hood sag has certainly obscured it. He takes a moment to adjust his headband, then steps out of his room and off to the livingroom. It's empty now, as Iruka's already left ahead of time to speak with the Hokage and get some paperwork done before the team assignments.

Yet another huge change in his life. He knew it was coming, and has for a long time, but it's still so surreal, standing in a livingroom of what's just now become his home, missing the presence of a man he now calls dad, about to go to his last day at the academy. It feels like his entire life has flipped in an instant, and only now is it really sinking in.

But, he doesn't have time to waste thinking about it now. He double checks his pockets and locks up on his way out, stepping out through the eastern shopping district towards the academy. He shoves his hands in his pockets and struggles not to laugh as Yoko pokes her head out and sniffs at his ear, tickling him.

"Hey, Naruto!" He turns to face a familiar bun-haired kunoichi racing up to him. "Wow, that's…" Tenten stumbles to a stop and stares at him for a moment. "... That's a huge improvement. That old orange getup was the second biggest eyesore in town."

"Second only to Gai's green spandex, I know" He sighs and tilts his head aside as Yoko pops out to greet her.

"Oh, hello Yoko!" She coos over the fox and scratches under her chin. She gladly accepts and closes her eyes to fully appreciate it. "So, you two headed to team assignments?"

Naruto grins wildly and punches into his left hand. "Can't wait to show my sensei just what kind of monster he got on his team. I'm gonna blow his mind. And probably blow him up a few times."

Tenten rolls her eyes. "Speaking of which, the shop's running low on exploding tags, and there aren't many in town that know how to make good ones. Can you maybe contribute a few?"

He pauses and thinks that over. "Maybe… One condition, though. You guys provide the ink and paper for the job, and I'll make as many as ya like, in return for a permanent discount."

"Deal!" She grins and pumps her fist into the air. "When can you start?" She's then surrounded by blasts of smoke, fading to reveal ten clones surrounding her. "… O-Oh. Right. Ok, immediately, then." She laughs nervously. "Just follow me back to the store, then. Thanks, Naruto!" She's assailed by a round of simultaneous 'You're welcome's in stereo. He knows how eerie that is to someone not accustomed to this jutsu, right? Shit, he probably doesn't.

"R-Right... well, g-good luck with your team!" She hurries back to the store and waves for the clones to follow, leaving Naruto to make the rest of the walk to the academy in silence. Upon arriving to his classroom, all eyes fall upon him in a matter of seconds.

"… What?"

"Holy shit, he actually did it." Ino stares across the room at him as she slowly rises from her seat. "You actually got rid of the jumpsuit from hell. You actually look like a sane, functional human being for once!"

Naruto scowls, and oddly enough, Yoko pokes her head out beside his to join him. "Yeah, I've gotten enough of that already."

"Eeeeh…" Iruka rubs the back of his neck. "Well… they have a point, Naruto."

"Damnit, you just adopted me, and you already betray me?"

"Adopted?" Kiba peeks up for a moment, blinking in silence as that sets in. "… Damn, man. Congrats! Heh, and my mom was considering doing it herself after all that training ya did with us." He raises a thumb to Iruka. "Good on ya, teach'."

While everyone else takes their turns congratulating the two and turning them red, Sasuke just… stares. He doesn't really hate Naruto anymore. He wouldn't say he likes the blonde nutjob, but he respects him. Now though, all he can feel is a sense of loss and loneliness he thought he'd left behind him years ago. All these years, and he still living alone in the Uchiha compound. He thought he'd always have that in common with Naruto. With that gone, he just doesn't know what to think of him now. He wants to be happy for him, but… he can't.

"Alright, settle down everyone." Iruka waves his students back to their seats, and Naruto follows suit. "To begin, I would like to congratulate all of you for graduating and moving into your careers as shinobi of Konoha!" A round of cheers erupts throughout the room. He lets it peter out before continuing. "Normally, I would tell you all to not take this as permission to slack and become complacent with your current talents. With this class, I don't believe I have to." He grins. "I've watched you all grow from greenhorned runts to living evidence of a bright future for our village. Your talents and demeanors command my attention more than the last few rounds of Chuunin exams, and your potential is beyond what I ever could have expected. I'm sure all of you fully intend to take paths least traveled and forge your own ways to greatness. I hope to see all of you surpass me in the years to come, as now, I have nothing left to teach you." He bows to them, and in return, his students bow to him. Once he's raised himself upright again, he picks a clipboard off his desk and waves it at the graduates. "As such, it's time to meet your new sensei. So, pay close attention for your name, and try to gather with your team once you've heard it." He clears his throat and gets to the list, and for now, many of them mentally check out and think about the road ahead until their names bring them to attention.

"Team 7 is… Uzumaki Naruto!" Naruto perks up and nearly leans over his desk. "Haruno Sakura." Sakura's brow furls, but nobody can be certain exactly why. "and Uchiha Sasuke." Three of them look to one another with a combination of apprehension and curiosity. Months ago, Sakura would have squealed, Sasuke would have barely reacted, and Naruto would have cheered over being with Sakura before lamenting the Uchiha. Since then, Sakura was thoroughly pranked but driven to take her career more seriously, Naruto stopped fawning over her or hating Sasuke on principal, and Sasuke warmed up to the blonde thanks to those blackmail photos, not to mention no longer hating Sakura's recently abandoned fangirl tendencies. They stand on neutral ground. Not a strong foundation, but one with a lot of potential. "Your sensei is Hatake Kakashi." And this piqued Naruto's interest. So the scarecrow's picked him again, huh? This should be fun.

"Team 8 is Hyuuga Hinata…" The heiress raises her head and almost activates her Byakugan with her sheer focus on this moment. "Inuzuka Kiba." The pup and his partner nearly howl as they hop out of their seats, raring to go. After all the pack hunting tactics they've been developing, they can already see exactly what the logic of this team is with only two units. And that would mean the last one is… "and Aburame Shino." Shino pushes his glasses up and his internal hives buzz to life as they feed off the adrenaline rush in his system. "Your sensei is Yuhi Kurenai." Hinata perks up and sighs in relief. _Nai-neesan. Thank Kami…_

"Team 9 is still in circulation under Maito Gai. Moving on to Team 10, we have Nara Shikamaru-"

The Brainiac raises his head from his desk and cuts him off. "Akamichi Chouji and Yamanaka Ino, we get it. This team was kind of predictable."

Ino chuckles nervously, her left eyebrow twitching. "Yeeeaah, but Shika? Ya didn't have to spoil it like that."

Chouji shrugs as he finishes off his bag of chips. "I saw it coming. He's been kinda touchy lately."

Iruka nods and barely squeaks out some quiet, nervous laughter. _Anyone would be if they had Yoshino training them, let alone as a parent._ He coughs and composes himself. "W-Well, your sensei is Sarutobi Asuma. I'm sure you won't have any issues with him, Shikamaru. So, now that teams are decided, you should all wait here for your sensei to arrive."

That said, the students break away from their seats and gather with their new teammates. Naruto fistbumps Shikamaru as he passes and gives Hinata a kind and simple smile, which nearly causes her turn red in an instant. Dropping into a seat between Sasuke and Sakura, he props his feet up on the desk and smirks. "So, what do you two think?"

Sakura bites her lip and crosses her arms. "Well, our team's versatile. My genjutsu and potential as a medic once I meet a good teacher for it, your sealing and general unpredictability, not to mention Yoko…" The kit pops her head out of Naruto's hood and yips at her, immediately receiving a light petting on her head. "And Sasuke's a ninjutsu prodigy. We're practically designed to be an all-purpose team with little to no overlap on talents. We have one raw strategy team and one tracking team, so it makes sense to have a more balanced one like us."

"Well said." Sasuke leans over his head, chin propped up on laced fingers. "We just have to hope our sensei is competent enough to handle our range of talents. Otherwise, I don't see us having any strict weaknesses. With Yoko, we even have some tracking potential." She yips again, and Sasuke smirks over to her. "Yes, you're a critical team member too. Maybe more so than Naruto."

"Hey!" The blonde scowls, but by the twitching at the corner of his mouth, it's obviously forced. He's just glad to see Sasuke throwing jokes, if a bit condescending still. Yoko on the other hand turns her nose up and hops out of Naruto's hood, bounding across desks to the back. They soon hear Hinata mumbling in the usual cutesy voice to the kit and doting over her. Naruto just rolls his eyes and smiles softly, leaving them be for now. "So, now the only problem is that our sensei is Kakashi. I've worked with the guy before, and lemme tell ya, real piece of work."

Sakura raises an eyebrow at that, planting her elbow on her desk and propping her cheek on her fist. "What do ya mean by that?"

"He's always late for everything and reads those perverted Icha Icha books constantly, even in public."

Sakura cringes, and her right eye begins to twitch. "Sasuke, you know fire jutsu, right?"

"Burn the books, got it."

"Team Eight!" A woman with deep red eyes and flowing, luscious black hair calls from the door. If not for the lack of tomoe in her eyes, Sasuke could have sworn he was looking at someone of his own clan. Maybe there's some kind of distant relation? Not implausible. Her sense of fashion is a little flashier than his clan ever had, though. That dress almost looks like it's made of bandages. Hinata nearly runs down the stairs to meet with her sensei, with Kiba right behind her and Shino taking his time. As Hinata passes, Yoko leaps from her arms and back onto the desk in front of Team 7.

"Team Ten?" A darker-skinned, bearded man in the usual navy shinobi attire and green flack jacket steps in with his hands deep in his pockets, giving Kurenai a bit more than a passing glance as she leaves with her team. Ino's the first to nearly leap down the stairs, and Shikamaru of course trails behind, dragging his feet. For the next ten minutes, everyone leaves team by team, until only Team Seven remains. Iruka left in the midst of it all to finish up the last of the paperwork for this class, grinning at the thought of that hell Kakashi's tardiness will bring him now.

"… Almost two hours now. Fuck it." Naruto stands and digs into the scrolls in his pockets. "This scarecrow's earned the role of test dummy now."

"Are you sure that's smart, Naruto?" Sakura places her hands on her hips and watches Naruto's preparations closely. She doesn't approve, but she's certainly curious…

"He knows I'm on this team. He knows I'm impatient. He brought this on himself." He unfurls a scroll and starts low, quiet maniacal laughter as he writes out the seal for this morning's mischief.

Ten minutes later, Kakashi opens the classroom door to find a small waterfall of cooking oil falling on his head, only to be soaked up by another seal on the floor beneath him. By the end, the only remaining oil was soaked into Kakashi's hair and clothes. "… I'll admit, this is a new one. Impressive work, Naruto."

The blonde grins from his back-tilted chair, feet propped up on the desk again. "I do my best. Be glad it wasn't the version stocked by Yoko's litterbox."

Kakashi shudders at the thought of that. "Well then. I need to try and wash this out and get some replacement clothes. I'll meet you all on the roof in ten minutes." That said, he makes a half tora handsign and disappears in a puff of smoke.

Sasuke stares for a moment, then shakes his head. And pushes himself up. "Let's go then. By the way, Naruto, can you make a version of that with a more flammable oil?"

His first response is one of Naruto's widest grins. "Who says I don't already have that designed? Getting good oil for that's a little tougher on my budget, though."

By the time they reach the roof, ahead of time actually, Kakashi's already cleaned and proper, seated and awaiting them as he reads his usual Icha Icha. He waves them to the seats, and only puts the book away once they've all gathered. "Well, I suppose we should start with introductions. Naruto already knows me at least a bit, so I guess I won't hold back. My name is Hatake Kakashi, former anbu, one of Konoha's foremost elite jonin, former student of the Yondaime, and veteran of the third war. I enjoy clear breezy nights, light reading to break up a mission, and miso soup. I don't care for sweet foods, can't stand the arrogant and the stupid, and despite loving to read, I've never been too fond of fantasy novels. As for dreams, well, I suppose I haven't had any specific ones in some time. I hope you brats can change that." He waves to Naruto. "You're up, blondie."

Naruto smirks and leans back as he pets the napping fox in his lap. "You already know the name, and I intend to make sure the rest of the world knows Uzumaki Naruto. I enjoy tending to my garden, training with friends to learn new tricks, and Ichiraku ramen, AKA food of the gods. I dislike people who hate what they don't understand, my former landlord, and when my pranks and traps fail. Especially when the failure is in testing and blows up in my face. My dream, as you all know already, is to be Hokage, and protect everyone precious to me in this village." He turns to look at Sakura, and she shrugs accepts the metaphorical podium.

"I'm Haruno Sakura. I enjoy watching storms, the occasional movie marathon on days off, and subtle sweets like umeboshi. I dislike spicy foods, I'm no good at cooking, and I hate the cluelessly obsessed…" She groans and rubs her temples. ".. and helping Kurenai-sensei reign Anko in." Kakashi nearly chuckles at that. "My dream…" She hunches and stares at nothing, but there's an iron will in that stare. "My dream is to prove myself a grand, world-class kunoichi. To prove I'm better than the mess I was before."

Sasuke watches her with what appears to be mild interest, more as though she's all there is to watch, but that's almost akin to rapt attention from him. He huffs and closes his eyes. "I'm Uchiha Sasuke. I enjoy long training sessions and meandering walks through town in the dark to wind down from them, and ripe tomatoes, especially from my clan compound's garden. I can't stand loud, frenetic music, never cared much for sweets either, and all my fangirls in town are the bane of my existence. As consequence though, one of my most cherished possessions is the collection of photos Naruto took of them all running in fear and disgust from one of Naruto's pranks." He manages to smile a bit as he recalls the photos still sitting on his desk back home. "As for dreams… not really a luxury I've had much of. Closest I have to a dream is being rid of all my fangirls for good, somehow, but that's an impossible one apparently. Besides that, I have an ambition to enact justice for my clan and end a certain sick bastard's life…"

While Naruto and Sakura are taken aback by Sasuke's grim tone at the end, Kakashi is hopeful. _Justice rather than just killing him or vengeance. Seems those therapy sessions with Inouichi's student are going well._ He has to strain not to smile at them. It's been so long since he's seen such a promising team, one he's certain he'll be proud of… given they can pass his final test. "Well, now that we're done with that… I'm afraid I'm going to have to put you all through one more test." At first, he receives a collection of confused stares, but Naruto's slowly overtaken by a predatory grin. "I'm certain you're all going to be incredible shinobi, but I need to see whether you're worthy of being _my_ genin. As such, I want you all to meet me at training ground 3 tomorrow morning, at 9 AM. I'd suggest you all avoid breakfast. You won't want to just lose it all once the test starts…" He almost breaks into a maniacal laugh, but quickly realizes that would be too much, and completely ruin the surprise. For now, he leaves them with a simple shunshin, disappearing without a trace and a faint ring of smoke and dancing leaves in his wake.

Naruto pushes himself to his feet and stretches. "So… You guys wanna celebrate with some Ichiraku's?"

"Hn…" Sasuke pushes himself up with just his knees and keeps his hands in his pockets. "I dunno. Kinda feelin barbecue, actually."

Sakura nearly leaps from her seat. "Oh, that actually sounds really good right now. That place near the Yamanakas' shop, right?"

"Yeah, I could go for that." Naruto chuckles and reaches back to pet Yoko. "How 'bout it, kit?" She yips in agreement and licks his hand. "Alright, let's move!"

.

* * *

.

That night finds Naruto seated in Iruka's- now his- livingroom, slowly sinking into the couch as he pets the fox curled up in his lap. Iruka sits across from him, reading an old, faded book with such a broken spine that he's clearly read it a hundred times. As he finishes another chapter and sets it aside, he steps over and plops down next to his adoptive son. "Ya know, I don't think I've ever seen you so quiet for so long. Worried about your test tomorrow?"

Naruto tilts his head back and stares at the ceiling. "Not really… worried. More of just trying to figure out the gimmick. He said he was sure we'd all be incredible, but he wants to be sure we're right to be _his_ genin. What could he mean by that?"

Iruka hums and closes his eyes, leaning back and folding his arms behind his head. "Well… Kakashi's a… complicated man. He has high standards and strong enough convictions to make him a potential Hokage when Hiruzen retires."

"… What can you tell me about his genin team?"

"Hm?" Iruka peeks over to his son and takes in his steely eyes, focused on some imperceptible data floating about in his mind. "Well… I never got to meet anyone from his genin team." He sighs and crosses his arms, sinking deeper into the couch. "Both of them died during the last war. If you'd wanna know anything about them, you'd have to ask Kakashi, Gai, the Hokage, or… well, I know Rin was indirectly related to the Inuzuka clan, and close to Tsume."

Naruto nods and lets that sink in. He still doesn't know just how to deal with this, but he's one step closer to figuring it out. However the test begins will fill in the last few pieces of the puzzle, and then, it's all down to building the right trap…

.

* * *

.

"This is absolute bullshit." Naruto growls as he awaits their sensei, staring off into the open field as he sits atop one of the three wooden posts of training ground 3. The worn-down grass and packed dirt is surrounded by the village's usual dense forestry, and the black granite of the KIA monument stands out as a stark reminder, and Naruto's current point of interest. If Kakashi's teammates both died in action, then they're both inscribed on that stone. A reminder as he tests his own team. A way to steel his resolve in their names. Another piece of the puzzle that is the test they now await.

"We should have seen this coming after yesterday." Sakura growls as she channels chakra into a leaf, dew forming on it and gathering into a small puddle at its center. "So did either of you actually listen and not eat before he arrived?"

Sasuke grunts. "Nope. That's just stupid. Even if we lose some of it in whatever this test is gonna be, we still need the energy."

Naruto nods and pulls his legs up onto the post, crossing them and propping himself up on his knees. "Besides, that was a suggestion, not a command. How dumb does he think we are? He should know I wouldn't fall for that! And hell, after all the nasty things I've worked with for my traps and pranks, I doubt he'll be able to make me hurl with anything short of an earth-shattering gut punch."

Sakura shudders and closes her eyes. "I-I still can't believe you could turn into that disgusting of an old man!"

He snickers and grins wildly. "I will cherish that prank for the rest of my life."

"Ditto."

"Seriously, Sasuke?!"

"Well…" All eyes fall upon Kakashi as he appears standing behind the posts a few feet to Naruto's left. "I certainly don't have to worry about you all getting familiar with each other."

Naruto chuckles darkly. "Kakashi-sensei, you of all people should know that one of the most critical parts of pranking a target is studying them and knowing how to make it personal. I take pride in stalking my targets until I can get their schedules down to a T and then turning their whole day on its head in a second."

Kakashi shivers at the thought of that. _Usually, shinobi aren't this twisted until they reach jonin. If he weren't so loyal to the village, I'd have to worry about another Orochimaru._ He coughs and forces himself back to his senses. "W-Well, let's get to the point, then." He raises a pair of bells. "Your goal for this test will be to retrieve these bells from me before this timer goes off." He sets the timer on the middle post and cranks it to an hour. Those who do will graduate. Seeing as there's only two bells, one of you will be sent back to the academy." He almost smirks at Sakura's slightly unhinged expression, but Sasuke and Naruto change that fast. Sasuke appears to hone in on those bells like a hawk. Even without his family's fabled eyes activated, he can still bore a hole into your soul with that gaze. As for Naruto, he barely manages to suppress the grin forming in the wake of slotting this last piece of the puzzle into place. _Well, shit. He's already figured it out. Let's see if he can convince the other two, then._ "Come at me with the intent to kill, or you won't lay a finger on me. The test starts… now."

His new students are gone in an instant, off to the trees and seeking potential hiding places and approaches. Kakashi can of course track them all rather easily, save for Naruto, who he needs to actually put some effort into. Little bastard's better at this than he knows. Silence soon falls for a few minutes until a change in the pattern of splashes from the stream behind him catches his attention. He turns to find nothing, but grins at the sight of a light rippling. Misdirection via a skipped pebble. He turns back to find one of Naruto's clones already approaching. He continues to read as his left hand is occupied by Naruto's eclectic combos, first blocking an upwards left hook into his ribs, then an attempted sweep kick at his ankles which he easily steps away from. He ends up stepping back directly into a very wet Yoko, who he catches with a foot beneath her ribs and flings her into Naruto. The clone catches her and replaces himself with a log rigged with a smoke bomb, leaving Kakashi alone in the field. "Huh… not bad so far. So what about the other two?" He dodges a series of shuriken that fly from the woods and pauses as he spots the glint of a few far smaller projectiles among them. He slips between the senbon and chuckles. "Nice trick, and decent aim at that range, but not fast nor numerous enough to catch me."

He ducks to the left in time to avoid a few shuriken thrown by Sasuke as he approaches from the bushes. This directs Kakashi to duck low and towards Sasuke's incoming right knee. He knows all too well that Sasuke's left hand is also reaching for the bells in the process, his right hand for the top of his head. _Decent, but- shit!_ He pivots to the right on his right foot to escape the range of all three strikes, grabbing Sasuke by the back of his shirt and throwing him across the clearing. "Clever little bastard." His eye narrows and focuses on the faintest aura of static around Sasuke. "You upgraded an academy D rank jutsu for parasite killing into a C rank taijutsu enhancement. So what do you call this?"

Sasuke chuckles and shifts back into a basic taijutsu stance, low and fingers spread. "It's called Raiton: Mahiken. (Stunning Fist) Best you learn to respect it!" He rushes in and swings in a flurry of swift jabs, forcing Kakashi to step back and avoid contact at all costs, lest he be stunned by it.

 _They're all pretty good… but I get the feeling they're all just testing the waters yet. I haven't seen even half their tricks._ He leaps back into the bushes and completely disappears from view as Sasuke chases him in. He struggles to track Kakashi down for several moments until a hand grips his ankle and drags him under up to his head. Kakashi then emerges from the ground in front of him with no noticeably displaced soil. He brushes a bit of dirt off himself and smiles down at his student. "A bit overconfident yet. Never believe you have the upper hand just because an opponent is avoiding you." He turns and walks off. "Well, I'm off to find the pinkette. I'll come dig you up later, if Naruto doesn't get you first."

Halfway across the training ground, Sakura kneels on a branch around a third of the way up a particularly large tree, among the leaves, to the point she can barely see out from between them. She focuses on sounds, awaiting footsteps and hidden with a genjutsu that makes her appear as nothing more than the leaves she's among. Of course, she doesn't hear Kakashi approach… but he also is having a bit of difficulty finding her. _She's good. Kurenai taught her well. I can feel her general presence here, but there's no visible sign, and she's near silent. I can hear her breathing, and smell her shampoo, but visibly she's practically gone. Well, let's see if she's as good at countering genjutsu as making them._ He takes a moment to shift through handsigns and cast a radial genjutsu. Magen: Narakumi no Jutsu. (Hell Viewing Jutsu)

Sakura freezes as she witnesses the wind blowing and leaves twirling. Moments later, she watches as Sasuke stumbles from the trees below and barely into view, several kunai sticking out of him. At this distance the details of his injuries are difficult to make out, but the lack of an arm and the amount of blood cascading from him paints enough of a picture even then. "D-Damnit… why didn't I have… backup?.. My team should have prevented this!"

She stares for a few moments, shivering and closing her eyes to steel herself, but with a quick half tiger sign and a pulse of chakra, she dispels it. "Laying it on a little thick, sensei… Good thing Kurenai-shishou introduced me to that one. One of her favorites..." By then, Kakashi is gone, and satisfied with the results. Now if only they could come together and complete their task. He almost expected otherwise, until he heard two sets of footsteps through the trees headed Sakura's way.

.

* * *

.

Kakashi once again stands in the middle of the clearing by the three posts, reading his Icha Icha as he waits for whatever strategy there may be to begin. He felt something underground a short time ago, and that certainly intrigued him, then again, there's two earth users on the team. He tried not to pay too much attention, wanting to be surprised. The start of their combo didn't do much to impress, but that may be for the best. Sasuke approaches from the tree line with his Mahiken active, going for a more rapid and spastic series of strikes that leave many openings, but little opportunity for someone unarmed as Kakashi is, unless he wanted to be shocked. It's easy enough for Kakashi to dodge, until he catches sight of two sets of projectiles from opposite peripherals. Naruto and Sakura have aimed from the trees to assault him from both sides while Sasuke takes the front, giving him only the option to retreat. If he weren't holding back for his students' sake, he would have used his own lightning affinity to counter Sasuke, catch most of the projectiles and throw them back, and they'd all be dead in seconds. Of course, that's elite jonin level combat. For genin, they've already impressed him. For now, he'll see this strategy through.

As they lead him, the trajectory of the projectiles changes consistently, showing that they're both throwing from the trees. He starts to question how there could be so many weapons- until he notices that some of them are popping on impact, with a few real ones dispersed between. Naruto's clones must have produced them. He'll have to remember to teach the boy the Shuriken Kage Bunshin later. Eventually, they guide him to the area he'd felt them tunneling towards earlier. He tracks Sasuke's moves and the projectiles well enough to take a look back and see what he's being led into. Several patches of dirt have been shifted, but sadly, a few corners of surprisingly large paper tags are sticking out and visible. They wouldn't have access to exploding tags yet, and Naruto would know not to resort to something so deadly. Considering the wide spread of them, they probably looked to make a wide enough area to ensure he'd hit one, meaning they must be contact activated or requiring rather than triggered or radial. Deciding not to make things too easy for them, seeing as they slipped up by making the trap so visible, he makes sure to leap back and land in one of the spaces between them.

And that proves to be a potentially fatal mistake. The ground around him shimmers as Sasuke leaps back. The tags seem to shift to new locations, but Kakashi knows quite well now that the original placement was an illusion. Sakura mutters from the trees. "Magen: Koko ni Aruzu no Jutsu: Successful." With the false surroundings of the genjutsu dropped, Kakashi realizes he's directly landed on a large seal, and three smaller ones surround it.

 _Ooooh. Make the false surroundings appear as believable as possible. Not bad at all. So what are these seals?_ He attempts to jump from them, but the three outer seals trigger, and he feels gravity grow just a bit stronger there, keeping him from jumping as quickly or as easily, and giving the main seal time to catch him. A cyclone emerges from it beneath him, slowly pushing him into the air, but the gravity seals keep him from shifting laterally, only vertically in the wind. As he takes in his students stepping out to admire their work, he notices Sasuke competing a tiger handsign. _Holy shit, they actually produced a lethal combo already._ Kakashi is consumed in a flaming tornado, only to pop in a cloud of smoke and drop a pair of now slightly singed bells.

Naruto deactivates the seals and steps up to grab them, while Sakura stares bewildered at the scorched ground. "Wow, we actually beat his clone."

Sasuke grunts and crosses his arms. "He was holding back."

Naruto chuckles as he cleans up the remains of his seals. "Yeah, I'm sure he just wanted to see what we cooked up for him. Right, sensei?" He stands and turns to stare at the real Kakashi now standing near the three posts.

"Not bad, kids. You made a trap. You beat my clone. You got the bells. Although, what was Yoko's role in that combo?"

Naruto chuckles nervously and pets the kit's head, poking out from his partly zipped hoodie, beneath his chin. "She's not much of a direct combatant. Her contribution was to bury the glitter bombs."

"Glitter bo-?" Glitter bursts from shallow earth beneath the posts, showering Kakashi in it and leaving the scarecrow looking quite fabulous.

Two minutes later, he, Sakura, and Sasuke are walking off and waving back to Naruto as he remains tied to the pole with Yoko ignorantly napping in his jacket with her tongue sticking out. "I expect you at training at 8 tomorrow morning, Naruto! Good luck getting out of those ropes! I'll send Iruka in case you don't in two hours or so!" Naruto would reply with a rant that would make a sailor blush, but Kakashi saw fit to gag the blonde as well, treating himself and his other two students to the wonderful sight of Naruto flailing his head and legs about in a desperate attempt to tell them off in whatever nonverbal manner he can.


	8. Demons of Past, Present, and Future

Naruto wakes in an eerily familiar and dimly lit sewer. Unlike what you'd expect of a sewer, there's no notable smell, besides maybe the smell of fox and hints of ramen broth. It takes a few moments of peeking around and realizing he's already standing to recall where this is. "Oh… ok, guess Kyuubi wants to talk again." He steps along through his mindscape with his hands behind his head, peeking at the walls and trying to assess the structure. "Someday, I'm gonna have to come in here and explore more. Ugh. I'm gonna have to get a lot better at meditating." Reaching the seal chamber, he steps across the titanic room and towards the bars. The distance closes at a surprising rate, his mindscape adjusting to ease the process, yet when he peeks back, the room is once again so long he can't see the entrance again. Returning his gaze to the bars, he almost jumps at the sight of the fox's apartment sized-eyes staring him down.

"Took you long enough, brat." The fox lowers himself to rest his head on crossed paws. "So, you wanted to interrogate me. How about you provide something I want first?"

".. That would depend..." Naruto crosses his arms lock eyes on the fox, nearly starting a staring contest. "on what it is you want."

"Something better than this damned sewer." He growls and sits upright. "There's nothing here, and all I can do is lay in this cramped, wet cage forever!"

Naruto cringes and nods. "Yeah... good point. Ok, um…" He starts to turn and look over the room. After a few moments of focus, the sides of the chamber and several spots in the floor become grated, and the water starts to drain away. With a bit more focus, he manages to completely dry it. Water continues to flow, but through the space beneath the grates on the sides. With another few waves of his arms, a titanic slab covered in one of Naruto's recent theorized seals floats down. This seal happens to be a modified gravity seal that causes the effected object to hover instead. The side of the slab facing the cage then lights up and displays what Naruto's seeing. Currently, the fox can only see himself and the room still. As a final touch, for now, a soft red mass begins to grow from between the tiles of the cage's floor, rapidly inflating and merging together like dough, until the titanic demon is slightly elevated atop a very plush pillow that takes up almost the entire floor of his cage.

The fox peeks about for a moment as his tails sway gently. "… Not bad. It would take much more mental discipline than you have to make any more of a difference than this. For a first try, this is satisfactory." Closing his eyes and shifting a bit to get more comfortable, he sighs in relief and smiles. "Very well. Ask away."

Naruto sighs in relief and collapses onto his back for a moment, trying to think of wat to ask. He's wanted to grill this demon for information for so long, but now that he can, nothing's coming to mind. Eventually, a thought resurfaces. "… Why did you attack Konoha?"

"… You aren't ready to hear that, and don't deserve it yet. Ask something simpler."

The blonde huffs and falls silent for a few more moments. "…. Ok. Do you know of any other jinchuuriki out there? Ones that'd still be around, probably?"

"Hmm… actually, I can think of four. First would be the Sanbi's jailor. Yagura, the Mizukage. I wouldn't consider him a jinchuukri to look up to. He's certainly good at using my sibling's power, but that twisted fool started the Bloodline Purges. Honestly, I'm all for finding a good reason to exterminate a portion of the human populace, but targeting bloodline wielders out of fear and ignorance is quite possibly the worst reason I've ever heard. I'd take 'because I felt like it' over that."

Naruto can only manage to stare blankly at that. It confirmed a lot of things. Firstly, a jinchuuriki has become a kage before. Second, they set a terrible precedent that'll give him some trouble. Third, the biju consider each other siblings. Lastly, the fox apparently has a moral compass, but a strong disposition towards causing general chaos. "Um… o-ok. Go on."

"Alright. Next jinchuuriki would be the Yonbi. His container I believe is an old man in Iwa named Roshi. He was a big player in the last two wars. His Yoton jutsu are truly something to fear. Even I wouldn't take them lightly. Next is his comrade Han, the Gobi's container. I know for certain that your damnable Yondaime went against him and the next on my list during the last war. Han's steam jutsu are almost as bad as the old monkey's Yoton, but more versatile."

Naruto scratches his head as he takes in these jutsu elements. "Heh… two Iwa jinchuuriki with fire in their elements. That must annoy them a bit."

"Probably." The fox chuckles and closes his eyes. "And the last… Killer Bee of Kumo. I have no idea what the Hachibi sees in him, but the union of their power is perfect. He can use my sibling's power flawlessly, and is most certainly one of the most powerful and dangerous men on this planet at this moment. He could take on any of the standing kage and fight them to a standstill at the very least, and probably kill most of them."

Silence falls as Naruto lets that sink in. If there's already jinchuuriki that powerful out there in foreign nations, he needs to step his game up. "… How do I learn to use your power?"

"Hm?" The Kyuubi sits up and stares down his jailor. "That's quite a bold question. But I can see why you would ask. You may be ready soon enough, but you'll need to get better at meditating first, and a bit stronger on your own. Only then will you be ready to channel a small portion of my chakra without it becoming a threat to your health. For now, though, it's almost time for you to wake. You best ask a mush quicker, simpler question before you go."

"Ok, well… why are you helping me? You've made it pretty clear you don't like humanity much. And I'm keeping you trapped here just by living."

The Kyuubi snorts. "Right on all accounts. But, I both love and hate humanity. Your ingenuity and capability are things I respect. Your arrogance and reliance on fear as a base instinct, I hate. You personally? You fear only that which is logical to fear, you don't deny the facts, and you didn't personally put me here. You don't even have the key to this seal. I have no reason to hate you. As for helping you, well…" He grins. "I enjoy chaos. What better formula for that is there than a hyperactive young man with the power of the king of demons, the talent and creativity to trap anyone and anything, and happens to love explosions? A child after my own blackened heart."

Naruto shivers for a moment and nods. "When you put it that way, I'm almost afraid of myself. Well, it was a nice chat. I'll work more on meditation and see if I can get in here sooner next time. And I'll try and talk to some Yamanakas about mindscape management!" He turns and walks off, shoving his hands in his pockets and fading from the fox's view as he wakes.

In those first few moments of stillness and silence before he sees Naruto's bedroom through the screen the young man had set up, he sighs and lays back down. "… I still hate both your parents with a passion… and yet you've managed to keep me from hating you." He huffs and closes his eyes. "… Father… I think you would like this one."

.

* * *

.

Hours later, all eyes on the main stretch of Konoha turn towards Team 7. Normally, this would just be due to the odd combination of the village pariah and his fox, the rookie of the year, and pink hair that stands out as much as Naruto's old jumpsuit. Today, they happen to be staring more at what the blonde is carrying. In his right hand is a wooden cage marked with seals and containing an all too familiar feline in a red bow, baked out of her mind on catnip. Tora's escapades through Konoha have become quite the legend over the years. The number of teams who've fought and struggled to capture her are too numerous to count. She's raised hell in the Inuzuka compound a few times and come out without a scratch. It makes one wonder if she were related to demon. Oddly enough, Naruto would later hear from the Kyuubi that she was indeed his grandniece, a grandchild of the Nibi.

What few of them would suspect just yet is that Naruto was the one to design the cage she's now in. Not twenty minutes ago, it was unfolded into a flat hinged structure hidden beneath the dirt. The moment Tora fell for the catnip after being chased by Yoko for about an hour, it snapped shut and locked in place, the sides drawn together by seals rapidly retracting steel wire. Now Tora could be carried to the tower amicably and at a safe distance to avoid being scratched into oblivion.

Reactions were in a wide array. Some maintained their disgust towards Naruto and lumped his entire team into it. Many thought the Uchiha prodigy must have made that trap and caught the demon cat themselves. The few shinobi who witnessed it were often a mixture of jealous and desiring to kill the furry bastard before it could escape again. The best reaction by far though, was the Hokage's jaw nearly dropping as Naruto presented the caged animal to her current owner, the Fire Daimyo's wife, Madame Shijimi. "Here you go, mam. Try not to let her out of the cage until you're back home. The catnip should keep her calm for a while, that batch is some of the strongest I could get my hands on." He peeks down to find her purring in the cage, flopped onto her side and staring at nothing. "This kitty's flyin' higher than the moon right now."

Madame Shijimi tenderly takes the cage from Naruto's care and stares into it. "Oh… dear me. I suppose I'll have to find a good source of catnip for her for back at home. I never thought she could be so docile." She kneels down to Naruto's level, her wavy brunette locks framing her plump face and gentle smile. "Thank you, dear shinobi. If she gets away again, I may have to ask for you personally."

Naruto has to force himself to keep up a clearly very fake smile. "Oh, you're too kind. Now, it's best you return to the capital quickly so you can release her from that cage. Keep her in there until you're inside the palace."

"Very well…" She sighs and uprights herself to leave, but looks to the Hokage on her way out. "It was good seeing you again, Hiruzen. Do take care of yourself, and try to find a new successor before you keel over behind that desk!"

Naruto snorts once she's out of the room. "Alright found them, I'm right here. So!" He steps up towards the desk and cracks his knuckles. "That one was a bit too easy this time. Don't ya think you should give us something more worth our time?"

"Um…" Sakura bites her lip and averts her gaze. "… Yeah, he's kinda right, Hokage-sama. We've all been getting bored with all these D ranks."

"Hn."

"Ya see?" Naruto gestures back to Sasuke with both open hands. "We barely managed to get the emo out of his shell, and now he's so bored he's reverting!"

"You just earned yourself a surprise sparring match. With my Mahiken active."

"Shit."

Hiruzen coughs and taps the ash out of his pipe. _Dear Kami, these three are already reminding me of my students as genin brats._ He sighs and sets the pipe down. "Very well. Kakashi, are you in agreement?"

Kakashi slumps and nods. "To be quite frank, Hokage-sama… these three have been complaining about D ranks since day one and working well above expectations. At first, I thought watching them suffer through D ranks like I had would be fun. For a little while, it was." He tries his best to ignore the death glares he gets from his students. He almost flinches when Sasuke's hand sparks. "It stopped being fun about two months ago. They're more than ready for a C rank."

Hiruzen closes his eyes and smirks. "I was waiting to hear that. Well, I have just the client in mind." He reaches over to a seal on his desk to signal his secretary. She steps in a moment later. "Please fetch Tazuna for us and bring him here." She nods and steps back out in silence. As she leaves, his eyes dart to Kakashi and meet his for just a moment, alerting him to pay close attention.

Kakashi's eyes barely narrow. _Really, Hokage-sama? Throwing them into the fire with a mission you suspect is falsely labeled? But why?_

As they wait, Naruto is rambling endlessly about who this Tazuna could be, what kind of profile he'll have, and the potential extravagance of this mission. "Oh, what prepared seals should I bring? Which tools should I have on hand? How many exploding tags?!" Kakashi pales at the thought of how many a boy like Naruto would consider 'enough'.

He's cut off as the smell of alcohol hits him and he stalls, staring at the door as a drunken man in a brown tunic and straw hat wanders in, skin tanned and weathered to leather, decorated with a very unkempt and grayed beard and wide nose. He finishes another swig of sake and stares down to the trio of genin. "Are you serious? These brats are guarding me? They probably couldn't even fight a raccoon, let alone a bandit."

Naruto stares blankly, then peeks to his teammates, whose distaste for their charge's disrespect is clear as day. "I think we should give him our credentials." They both nod and grin almost sadistically. Naruto replaces himself with the lamp behind Tazuna and places a finger to Tazuna's spine. Sasuke leaps up and lands on the ceiling, reaching a hand out and holding two sparking fingers towards him. Sakura then draws a few senbon and thrown them at his feet, landing harmlessly between his toes and into the leather of his sandals.

".. Point taken." Tazuna gulps and slowly lowers his bottle, looking up to Sasuke as his hair starts to rise in response to the static charge by his head. "Can you stop that please? My hair is bad enough as it is."

Sasuke nods and leaps back to exactly where he'd been, while Naruto replaces himself with the lamp again to return, and Sakura… actually fades from view and reappears where she'd been. The senbon are gone too. Kakashi can't help but muse at the brilliance of that. Actually throwing those at the client, even their feet, would have been too dangerous, especially for a genin. She's not that good yet, but a genjutsu can be used to very convincingly fake it.

Hiruzen sighs and rubs the bridge of his nose. "Team 7, this is Tazuna, an architect from Nami no Kuni. He needs an escort back to his home there so he may continue construction on a bridge leading to the mainland."

Naruto nods and pinches his chin as he thinks, a gesture Kakashi quickly realizes he's picked up from his adoptive father. Little does he know, Minato often did the same. "Simple enough." Naruto nods and peeks up to Tazuna. "When would you like to leave?"

"Oh, um…" Tazuna stares at the young man for a moment. Something in his blue eyes speaks of mischief and pain on levels he could barely fathom. "T-Tomorrow morning, around nine, preferably."

Naruto nods and looks to his teammates. "I'll have some seals to pawn off on you guys tomorrow when we leave. Dad's not gonna like how much coffee my clones go through tonight, but the results will be worth it."

Hiruzen grins and waves them off. "Go and prepare then, children. Tazuna, I assure you, you're in good hands. Go prepare and rest for the night." All three genin take that as their cue to leave, as does Tazuna. Kakashi and the old Kage remain. Hiruzen looks to Kakashi as his grin fades and softens into something subtler, but genuine. "Jiraiya will be there. I may send a clone as well. Naruto's learning fast, Kakashi, and the biggest thing he's learned is the importance and value of a secret. He'll understand, and he'll know to keep silent. More so… I think finding out now, and finding out he's already naturally on something so similar to his father's path, will inspire and motivate him further. This is a perfect opportunity to test his resolve. Just as well, it'll test Sasuke's willingness to work with Naruto instead of focusing on any gap there may be between them, and expose Sakura to some of the most difficult aspects of shinobi life. That girl may be good with illusions, but she seems to have one of her own regarding shinobi life still. We need to break that spell and be certain she has the strength to progress."

Kakashi nods and averts his gaze, staring out the window as he watches his students wandering down the street and splitting up. "… It's not like you to take a gamble like this. You usually play things much safer. Why gamble now?"

Silence falls as Hiruzen internally debates on how to answer. "… those three… I know you see everything I do in them. But I also see more. You see your own team. I see my students. There's so much potential. But potential like that came at odd costs. You know how they all ended up. Jiraiya lost hope. Orochimaru let his craving for power turn him into a monster. Tsunade's bright future was cut short by losses she wasn't prepared for. And your team…"

"… Right… we need to make sure they don't turn out like we did. That I don't become another you. That they don't become another of my team, or yours. We can't let history repeat itself. That requires a few gambles to pull off…" He turns and walks to the door, hands deep in his pockets. "… I'll follow your lead on this, then."

.

* * *

.

"Nami, huh?" Iruka passes Naruto a plate of the pork cutlets he'd prepared for dinner, along with some risotto and, much to Naruto's chagrin, some asparagus. "I was there once, when I was younger. Decent place from what I recall. Be sure to pick up a few souvenirs if ya can, with some of your hunting money."

Naruto nods and digs in, trying to get the asparagus out of the way quickly. "I'll try, depends on how long Kakashi wants us to stick around there, really." He takes a moment when he thinks Iruka isn't looking to drop a piece of asparagus down to Yoko. She digs into it eagerly, as it's buttered and salted perfectly. "Oh, and um… I'll be buying some extra coffee for ya to replace what my clones are going through tonight."

Iruka pauses and peeks up to Naruto from his plate. "Your clones are pulling another all-nighter preparing seals for tomorrow, aren't they?"

"Yeah, already working on it in my room. I'll get more of em on it soon."

Iruka sighs and hangs his head. "Of course. Well, at least you're planning ahead. Any seals in particular?"

"Well, there is one." He grins. "I figured, what rules say an object sealed in the scroll has to be unsealed from the same place? So I'm using an entire scroll, putting objects in on one end, having it contained in the middle, and the moment it's detected arriving from one end, it's unsealed on the opposite end."

Iruka pauses as he considers the possibilities of that. "Huh… that's quite the trick. An because it only has to conform to the shape of the scroll, which…" He pauses and slowly turns to stare at his adopted son. "… which can be folded around corners and walls. Dear god, that's brilliant."

Naruto's evil laughter echoes through the house in various stages and volumes throughout the night. At one point, his clones began a maniacal chorus at around 3am, up until Iruka dispelled them all. Naruto's dreams were then graced with evil laughter from the Kyuubi as he got to witness the incoming memories.

.

* * *

.

Deep in the woods of Nami no Kuni, a man in a bandage mask up to just beneath his eyes pulls the bandages down just enough to expose his lips and tilt back a swig of sake. "This arrogant midget's pissing me off more and more every day." He nearly tosses the bottle, but pauses as the room's temperature drops a bit. He peeks to his subordinate seated across the room, meditative, but slowly freezing the space around them.

"Zabuza-sama. What has he done this time?"

Zabuza grunts and sets the bottle down. "Bastard thought I wouldn't find out he was undercutting me and hiring someone else who'd do the job cheaper if he can manage to do it faster. Apparently, he got word from one of his company's executives in Hi no Kuni that Tazuna was spotted on his way to Konoha. He'll have an escort. I doubt I'd have trouble killing whoever's sent, but Gato apparently thought it necessary to double dip on mercenaries and hire some no-name brat who abandoned the tree-huggers years ago. A little shit who thinks he's great just because he's got a special sword. Jackass doesn't even know how the hell to use it!"

Haku sighs. There's three things in particular that always piss her master off. First, is anything involving Yagura. The failed coup and trying to raise funds to try again has left everything he does connected to that horrid past somehow and keeps him in an almost perpetually foul mood. Second would be customers who don't get what they're buying and try to play financial games with shinobi out of arrogance. Lastly would be people who don't take the skill he built his entire profession on seriously. All three of those together has him in a foul enough mood for Haku to detect his killing intent simmering beneath the surface at all times now.

It's interesting, though. Haku had met Aoi once before. His arrogance was truly something to behold, nearly as much so as that blade he stole…


	9. A Scarecrow, a Drunk, and Three Kids Walk into a Puddle...

"-so then I took the ten skunks I'd caught in my traps that week and knocked them out, then set them loose in half the grocers in town!"

Raucous laughter bellows from the slightly drunken and aged architect, peeking back to the troublesome blonde with the widest grin he'd managed in weeks. "Brat, that has to be one of the best damn revenge pranks I've ever heard! And believe me, I work construction, I've seen some shit go down on the job!" He barks out another laugh and takes a heavy swig. "You ever see what happens when bored construction lackeys have a passed-out coworker and a surplus of cement?"

Naruto's eyes nearly light up. "I have yet to witness this majesty, but damn do I want to."

Kakashi groans and covers his face for a moment. "You're going to learn to use cement as a jutsu trap now, aren't you?"

"Hmmm…" Naruto scratches his chin as he thinks over the application. "Well… depends on the elements required. I have earth, and I can probably learn the minimum of water needed to pull that off if I really push it, but… I'm not sure about what else would be involved."

Kakashi pauses as he watches Naruto think. It's such a marvel to hm, watching him set himself to solving a problem like this. So much like his father. It's far from a conventional puzzle, either, yet he still views the pieces and seeks an abstract solution to an abstract issue. He can nearly see from the twitches in his face that he's already conceptualized the elements as the largest pieces of the puzzle but isn't certain if it's set with those two or needs another. Eventually, he decides to pitch in on the issue. "As best I know, cement based jutsu tend to require a combination of earth, water, and fire. It's a pretty abstract combination, and the only time I've ever seen anyone use it…" He pauses and looks to the sky. "Well, last time was someone of considerable rapport from Iwa. I believe he was the Tsuchikage's son, Kitsuchi."

Naruto whistles. "Damn. Well, I'll have to settle for making a seal with that function then. Maybe seal some wet cement, and it'll be preserved and come back out still wet? Or maybe focus on earth and wind to produce aerated soil that acts like quicksand?"

Sakura blanches at the thought of that. "Naruto, has everyone ever told you your mind is scary?"

"Dad, Kakashi-sensei, Hokage-jiji, several anbu, Yoko, and Shika."

"Of course you had an answer for that."

Sasuke blurts out from the back. "How fast can your current explosive stock launch Tora from a 10-inch-wide canon?"

"THREE HUNDRED AND FIFTY EIGHT MILES PER HOUR!"

Kakashi side-eyes his demented student. "How many exploding tags did you make?"

"Are we talkin normal ones, or specialty?"

Kakashi groans and slouches. "You're gonna make me the first acting shinobi to die of a heart attack." He nearly uprights himself at the sight of a puddle up ahead, but acts natural as he can manage whilst paying close attention to his students. Sakura calms down surprisingly fast from the horrors of Naruto's mind and positions herself closer to Tazuna rather slowly. Sasuke remains at the back, eyes steeled and attentive. Naruto shoves his hands into his hoodie pocket to hide his handsign, and there's a light, almost imperceptible puff of smoke in the front of his jacket, where Yoko had been hiding.

Soon after they pass the puddle, two cloaked shinobi in facemasks and wearing a pair of bladed gauntlets connected by a bladed chain emerge from the puddle and rush them from behind.

The moment after they step out, a subterranean exploding tag goes off behind them and blasts them into the air. They manage to upright themselves and throw kunai from the air, but the set of people they throw them at fade from view. By the time they've landed, Sasuke is roundhousing them both in the head from behind, then grabbing their backs and releasing a light shock through the water still soaking them thanks to their choice of camouflage jutsu. They both fight through the shocks and glare back to Sasuke before bursting into water. As the water clones drop, Sasuke leaps back towards the troop, still standing back behind where the puddle had been before Naruto's trap went off. Pulling a kunai from his pouch, he peeks about to assess where they may attack from next. Yoko pops from the ground beside Naruto and yaps towards the southeast. On cue, Sakura unloads a handful of senbon that way, and Naruto backs it up with a kunai. At first, the twin assassins dodge them with ease, but the kunai unleashes another explosion and almost splits them up, without having an attached tag. The seal was carved onto the metal. The tension of their chain keeps them together and wrenches both their arms as it brings them to an abrupt halt mid-air. Naruto's laughter can be clearly heard from their failed hiding spot in the woods. "You heard me talkin' shit about my specialty tags!"

"Damnit, these kids are making fools of us!" One of the twins struggles to his feet, but his brother throws down a smoke bomb and pulls him back.

"Didn't you fucking see who their sensei is? That was Hatake Kakashi! We need to get the hell out of here and give Zabuza our intel, and he'll have a better shot at this." His brother knows better to argue, considering who they're up against. They retreat in silence, leaving Team 7 and Tazuna to gather their thoughts and address the elephant in the room.

Kakashi slowly turns to stare down their client, followed by his students. "Just bandits, huh? So then, Tazuna… why were the Demon Twins after you specifically when they attacked Sakura's illusion?"

"O-oh, um… heheh…" Tazuna slowly raises his hands and backs himself into a tree. "I-I've got no idea what that was about, I s-swear!" The four shinobi and their loyal fox stare him down with increasingly potent glares and even a small burst of killing intent from Kakashi by the time he cracks. "O-Ok, ok! It's Gato, the shipping mogul! He's been bleeding my country dry for years, and my bridge is the only thing that's gonna break his hold on us! If I don't finish this bridge, my people are gonna starve to death under Gato's watch, and he'll drag the survivors into his human trafficking ring!"

Silence falls as the stakes sink in. Kakashi slowly uprights himself and shoves his hands into his pockets. "Ugh… You've been in deep for a while now, and you've gotten us to wade in after you. Well…" He sighs and closes his eyes. "technically, we're no longer obligated to complete this mission, as you've misinformed us and had it labeled as two ranks below what it now clearly is. We have the right to turn around and head back home-"

Kakashi pauses as he feels Naruto slap a tag onto his back. He can't be sure what this one's meant to do. "No. Hell no. Sensei, you heard what the man said. If you turn this team around now, I'll set off this modified glitter bomb tag on your back. I call it the glitter geyser. It won't stop for about an hour, and I have dozens of others to plaster all over your apartment."

Sasuke stammers for a moment as his eye twitches at the sheer absurdity of what Naruto's just done. "O-Ok, I'm with the dobe here on continuing the mission, but... what the hell?"

"Yeah… Naruto?" Sakura turns to her teammate and cracks her knuckles. "Why did you think it's a good idea to threaten our sensei?"

He gives her a nearly blank stare, brows slightly raised as though to say he expected this to be obvious. "It's a threat of a prank, not harm. No rules against that."

"… Oh. Why the hell do so many of your traps use glitter, though?"

"Are you kidding?!" He throws his arms into the air, signaling the start of yet another rant that fuses brilliance and absurdity in equal measure. "Glitter is the best prank material ever! It's physically harmless, the stuff made from seaweed is healthy and biodegradable, but it gets everywhere and becomes a sparkly long-term annoyance you just can't ignore! And any trap I can rig with glitter, I could just as easily rig with dozens of smaller scale explosives or poison! And don't even get me started on the applications of the geyser sty-"

Kakashi clears his throat. "As I was about to say…" Annoyance bleeds through his nearly clenched teeth. "I know my students would protest, and morally, I can't bring myself to turn around either. So please, remove the tag from my back, and I'll call in for backup."

Tazuna drops to sit beneath the tree with an exasperated sigh, nearly collapsing. "Thank Susanoo. My people still have a chance…" He buries his face in his hands, taking deep breaths to try and calm himself, emotional exhaustion leaving him looking further aged than his wrinkles ever could.

Naruto peels the tag off and slips it back into his hoodie pockets. "Don't thank us yet, Tazuna. We've still got a lot to do. So, sensei, how're we calling in backup? You got one of those messenger hawk scrolls?"

Kakashi shakes his head and shifts through a few handsigns. "I've got something better. Kuchiyose no jutsu!" He kneels and slams his hand on the ground, producing a plume of smoke. Sitting before him now is a ninken with light brown fur and white markings, with very spiked fur sweeping to the front of his head. The back of his open blue vest displays a series of hiragana forming a scarecrow face, topped with a headband worn around his neck. "Urushi, good to see you. I've got a task for you that'll take a bit of sprinting and a bit of stealth. Up for the job?"

The sharp-featured ninken grins and wags his tail. "Aw, ya shouldn't have. Yeah, I'm game. So, what's the deal- hm?" He turns to face Yoko as she approaches and yips away in the Inuzaka clan's tongue. He soon returns with a series of growls and yaps. This exchange continues as Kakashi writes the mission details and request into a scroll. Before he's done, Naruto's even joined their conversation.

"Uru, do you really need to set my girl up on a date in front of me? Disrespectful, man." He just receives a couple of yaps and barks in return from both of them. "Ok, point taken."

Kakashi rolls his eyes and secures the scroll into a pocket inside Urushi's vest. "Ok, take this back to the Hokage. Don't dispel yourself until he's instructed you to. Keep an eye out for anyone trying to intercept your message, as always. Think you can manage that?"

The mutt scoffs. "You know what I can do. This'll be easy. Next time, try and summon me for a fight, alright? A lot of us are getting tired of being messengers."

"Bull doesn't mind."

"Bull's the biggest wimp among us! Why are all the biggest, toughest dogs such pansies?" He growls and turns to face back to the west and towards Konoha. "See ya again soon, I hope!" He takes off at twice Yoko's top speed, and Naruto can already tell he's still holding back.

"Well… I guess we're set to go, then." He turns to keep walking with a grin on his face and his arms behind his head.

"Naruto…" Kakashi drones as he watches his student pass by. "What did you do?"

"Nothing you have to concern yourself with, sensei."

.

* * *

.

"Sensei…" Shikamaru sighs deeply and scratches the back of his head "Why do we have to take this C rank anyway?" He glares into the distance through the thick forests outside Konoha. About fifty meters ahead is a bandit camp that they'd been assigned to deal with. They were waiting beside a major shipping road and assaulting shipments of valuables to resell at a profit. Either they had some nukenin to bolster their strength and bravery, or they were remarkably stupid.

Asuma pulls the cigarette from his mouth but doesn't blow any smoke. "Because Kakashi's brats already got one, and I'm not letting us fall behind the lazy bastard. Besides, your strategies are more than capable of a job like this now." He looks to his left as Ino slowly rises from her slumped position against a tree nearby. "What ya got for us?"

Ino sighs and rubs her temples as she mentally sifts through it all. "Ok… There's twelve of them, lot of young punks, toying with some of their more valuable finds as prizes. Really full of themselves. One of them seems to have some training, but clearly dropped out of the academy and got pissed enough to bail. Kinda guy who thinks he's the hottest shit just because he can throw a kunai straight. I'd say one display of Chouji's jutsu, and half of them will already be cowering."

Chouji chuckles as he peeks back to her. "Which one?"

"Hmm…" She grins. "How about we test your newest addition? It's a bit flashier, sure to get their attention."

Shikamaru smirks and rises from his seat. "And set things up for me. Yeah, this won't take long. You set up a good distraction, right?"

"Yep." She stands and stretches, restoring her formerly abandoned body. "I went and screwed with them a bit before I left that bird's body. Ruined the dinner they were making."

Chouji slowly turns to her with a glare. "… You didn't."

"Don't complain, Chouji. Their stew was shit anyway, the kinda stuff you wouldn't touch if you were paid to."

"Stop bickering." Asuma growls and raises his trench knives. "Ok, kids. You know the play."

Chouji nods and prepares a few handsigns. "Scare the masses."

Ino grins almost sadistically as she prepares one of her family's signature handsigns. "Undermine the leader."

Shikamaru pulls a scroll from his pouch. "Restrain, contain, and conquer."

Asuma smirks as his students move ahead. "Pops, I can't thank you enough for giving me these kids."

.

* * *

.

"Ya know… I really hate fog." Naruto's eyes narrow. "The humidity in the air messes with my ink and makes it runny. I can't make any good seals in these conditions."

"There's many more reasons for us to dislike this fog, Naruto." Kakashi puts his book away and focuses all his attention on their surroundings. "You and Sakura especially should understand that."

Sakura nods and pulls a few senbon. "Could Gato have really gotten Kiri nin on a job like this?"

"Under the current regime there?" Kakashi tilts his head and peeks back over his left shoulder. "Possibly. But, I doubt he would risk such a large organization knowing what's going on beneath his company. He'd probably go for missing nin, which Kiri currently has an abundance of."

Sasuke groans and hunches over. "Great. Well, my fire's near useless then. Lightning it is, I guess." He sighs and uprights himself. "Whatever, I need more practice with it anyway."

Naruto chuckles grimly and slowly pulls a kunai from his pouch. "No better practice than being thrown head-first into a shitstorm, right? Do or die… Kami, what am I saying? This is exactly why I use clones test all my seals."

Tazuna's starting to visibly shiver as he takes another swig of his sake, face sunken and eyes wide. A bit spills from the bottle as he lowers it, entirely due to the constant shaking of his hand. "Please don't be serious."

Kakashi grabs Tazuna and pulls him down. "DUCK!"

His students barely manage to get down in time to avoid taking a direct hit from a spinning slab of sharpened steel nearly the size of their own bodies. It swerves up into a nearby tree and embeds itself halfway up the trunk to the lower branches, soon supporting its wielder as he stands upon the hilt. The genin slowly raise their heads from nearly cowering stances to find the man towering over them to be wearing baggy striped gray pants closed at the ankles by almost cow-patterned leg warmers with a matching pair on his arms. Despite these, his chest was bared save for the leather strap meant to carry his blade upon his back via a small spring-loaded locking mechanism for the hole in the blade and a hook for the notch in it. His face is almost entirely hidden by a combination of bandages wrapped tightly from his neck to the bridge of his nose and a Kirigakure headband tilted to the right on his brow. His spiky crew-cut black hair barely sticks out above the headband.

Kakashi identifies the man instantly as he uprights himself, speaking almost casually to the attempted assassin. "The Demon of Kirigakure, Momochi Zabuza. Of course Gato would hire someone with such a record as you."

"Hatake Kakashi…" He chuckles and crosses his arms, the only evidence of his grin being a few wrinkles in his face wrap. "When the twins told me you were involved in this mission, I actually got a little excited to deal with someone of my own caliber. It's not often I get to actually fight someone instead of just slaughter them."

"Does tend to be a problem when you get to our level, doesn't it? If you revel in a fight that much, anyway, but I do know a few people like that back home." He sighs and reaches for his headband. "I don't suppose you'd be willing to turn around and ignore this job, would you?"

"No can do." Zabuza tilts his head and elicits a series of pops and snaps form his neck. "That'd be terrible for business." He starts bolting through handsigns. "So let's get this over with quickly!" Kakashi pushes up his headband and his sharingan eye spins to life, pupil contracting as the three tomoe expand. The fog thickens and Tazuna is surrounded by his four guards.

Naruto grits his teeth and frantically peeks around. "Visibility's cut to about ten feet. At shinobi speeds, that's far from enough for me to react. Sasuke?"

"I've got nothing. Fire's weakened in these conditions, I have no distance lighting jutsu yet, and trying taijutsu with a guy who can wield a sword that size so easily is suicide."

"Cool it, boys. There's something off about this mist." Sakura closes her eyes. "This chakra feels… malicious. He's mixed killing intent into the mist to cause paranoia, anxiety, and panic. The less clearly we think, the harder it'll be to counter."

Kakashi grins beneath his mask. "Good work, Sakura. Focus less on what you can't do, stick to what you can. Naruto?"

The blonde falls silent for a moment, but a sickeningly wide grin slowly spreads on his face. If Zabuza could see it through the mist, he would have reason to be afraid. A moment after, puffs of smoke reveal four more Narutos surrounding the crew and spitting streams of mud onto the ground around them. Walls of stone rise from them and surround the party, followed by another stream being spit onto the top of the walls to close them off beneath a ceiling.

Zabuza sighs and shakes his head. "No target speech this time, huh? Pity... I always enjoy watching them shake after it." He reels back his blade and swings in at half the height of the wall. A Doton: Doryūheki is too soft for his blade, especially coming from a rookie genin.

Of course, Naruto was banking on that. The blade stops halfway through, and as he attempts to tug it free and retreat, something within the stone chamber explodes, breaking his blade in half and battering him with chunks of stone. He immediately falls apart and splashes into a few scattered puddles, exposed as a water clone.

"Clever brat." Another Zabuza amidst the trees tightens his grip on his blade. The blast blew away enough of the mist to see the softened earth they'd tunneled through and a series of charred tags and steel wire. _He caught my blade with the wire, and trying to tug it free set off the explosives. Either lose my blade or potentially lose my life. Who knew Konoha still had anyone this devious?_

He slips back into the shadows and thickens the mist, conjuring a few more water clones spread across the clearing and a few in the trees. A clone tracks one of them, the little Uchiha, cowering and panting among the bushes. A swing of his cloned blade makes quick work of them, but the clone is dispersed as an electrified hand runs through it. Three more fall to simple kunai. One of them wanders onto an exploding tag. At this point, Zabuza is starting to get a little pissed off. The sensation in the mist grows more oppressive by the moment. _I'll show you little shi_ \- His thoughts are cut off by a fox leaping from the earth behind him and biting into his collarbone. "GAH! What the fuck?!" He grabs Yoko by the neck and throws her into a nearby tree, only for Naruto to leap in and catch her, rolling to a stop with Zabuza bringing his blade down on them both. He registers the grin on the kid's face just in time to leap back and avoid the exploding log he swapped himself with. "How the FUCK does one kid have this may exploding tags?!"

"He made them all himself." Zabuza slowly turns to glare at Kakashi about twenty feet off to his right, his hand starting to spark and chirp. "Honestly, Zabuza. You got too full of yourself. You've let your skills rust and made one of the oldest rookie mistakes: underestimating someone with no record. My kids are quite a lot more than you bargained for, aren't they?"

Zabuza growls and steps backwards. "Maybe… but mine's even better." Kakashi's eyes widen as he's forced back by the sudden spawning of a thick wall of ice, frosting the surrounding ground and turning the mist to snow. Kakashi's tempted to give chase, a lasting effect of his Anbu training, but halts as he recalls his current mission detail. When the ice cracks and shatters moments later, Zabuza's gone. Kakashi sighs and lowers his headband back over his eye before stumbling out of the woods to address his students. What he finds is Sasuke leaping up and kicking the last clone in the back of the head as Sakura's genjutsu dissipates. The moment the illusion falls, Sakura is revealed kneeling and panting beside Tazuna right at the edge of the forest with the hole they'd resurfaced with beside them. Naruto walks back out of the woods with a grin on his face and Yoko cradled in his arms.

"Oy, Sasuke." Naruto steps up to his teammate for a fistbump. "Thanks for providing the wire for that one. Your clan's wire stock is the best I've ever seen, man. I doubt anything of lower quality would have stood up against that blade, even in that quantity."

Sasuke nods and rolls his wrist. One of the clones had blocked a punch with the flat of his blade. Most people would complain about their knuckles in that case, but too much pressure on a joint will have some nasty lasting effects. "Because of my clan's fire proficiency and eye for detail, a lot of retired shinobi or trained civilians were blacksmiths. Most of the tools and weapons in my compound were made by and for the clan."

"No shit?" Naruto kneels to observe the remains of his trap. "No wonder. Any chance I can look through your stocks sometime? In return, I'll rig some seals on whatever weapon you decide to take up, and probably keep upgrading them as we go."

He perks up and turns to stare at Naruto's back. "… Ya think we could make something legendary?"

Naruto peeks back with the very same grin he'd given Zabuza through the mist. "Sasuke, given a few years and the right supplies, we could make something Kiri would be sending anbu to steal."

Kakashi sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose. "Well, can't say they're not ambitious or driven, but I should be more worried about them blowing themselves up than an enemy killing them."

.

* * *

.

"Kotetsu, Izumo, how ya been?"

"Oy, hey Uru!" The eternal gate guard duo of Konoha leans over their booth to look down over the ninken that just arrived through the west gate. "Guess you've got something from Kakashi for the Hokage, right?"

Urushi nods and hops up on the desk. "Yep, but you can be sure next time he summons me that I get some time to stick around, I'm lookin for you boys first." He steps up to the logbook and presses his paw onto the ink pad to sign with it. "Alright, I'm off to the tower." He takes off at full tilt through the bustling streets of Konoha. Innocent and clueless civilian children try to chase after him to play. Inuzuka ninken bark greetings and insults alike. He gladly returns fire at the later. The few shinobi who've worked with Kakashi and his ninken team wave as he passes. It isn't long before he's running up the wall of the tower and barking through the window.

Hiruzen raises his eyes from the mess of paperwork on his desk and turns to stare out the window at the messenger ninken. He sighs and rolls his chair over to open the window. "Urushi, good to see you. I suppose Kakashi figured out what was off about his mission?"

He hops in and lays down on the windowsill. "Scroll's in my right pocket. Said I should stick around for further instruction after you read it."

Hiruzen grumbles and pulls the scroll free, taking his time reading it to memorize every detail. _I had some intel suggesting how corrupt Gato was, but this is far worse than I suspected. I should have ordered him assassinated years ago. Well, Jiraiya's meeting them there, so they won't need much backup. Good excuse to send someone who just got back to active duty until the next semester._

He chuckles and prepares a note of his own. "Urushi, you're to remain here until their backup arrives and is briefed. He'll be coming with you as you dispel yourself, then be summoned with you wherever Kakashi is at the time."

"Ah, that old trick? Alright then. Well, while we wait, Naruto had another letter for you. It's in my left pocket."

"Oh?" Hiruzen digs into it and pulls out-

He takes a blast of glitter to the face and drops the tag as it continues to spew a continuous stream of glitter into his office.


	10. Vision

The rest of the road to Tazuna's family home had been relatively uneventful, but one would guess anything would seem as such after nearly losing your head to a man wielding a five foot blade that somehow passed as a sword. Even as successful as they were, it had been a close call. Now they all had to go on with the knowledge that he could return for round two at any moment, and all three genin were on edge the moment the adrenaline of the fight wore off. Sakura's fingers were twitching as she prepared to cast a genjutsu at the first sign of any trouble at all. A few bouts of panic and accidental casts left her severely drained of chakra and lethargic for the rest of the walk. Sasuke was as quiet as usual, but his eyes were wider and focused on the ground, requiring Kakashi to snap him back to attention occasionally. Naruto's silence was potentially the most unnerving. His usual jovial nature was drowned in a sea of doubt. Yoko had bounced back more easily and kept attempting to cheer her partner up with a few loving licks to his face as she poked her head out of the front of his jacket. Occasionally, she would chatter away in the Inuzaka hound language and force a smile onto his face before he returned to contemplative silence.

Kakashi couldn't blame them. Their first C rank had already gone wrong in one of the worst ways short of death or failure. It wasn't as bad for them as it had been for himself and his teammates in the war, and he was thankful for that. Some of their innocence still remained and maybe a little hope. Given time, he knew they would snap back. He just couldn't have expected how soon.

The moment they reached civilization in Nami no Kuni, his students' eyes were on the town. Citizens wander with heads hanging, shuffling through filth-ridden dirt roads. Countless shops stand abandoned, windows boarded or smashed, and not a single one left untouched. Half a block looks to have been burned down. Sasuke was familiar enough with fire damage to recognize that the building it had started at burned faster and hotter than the others. It could only have been arson. Only a single child could be seen about, all others kept locked inside for their own safety from the many armed thugs wandering the streets. The one they did see was a young boy curled up in a crate filled with blankets and newspapers near the burned homes. The Gato-employed thugs all brandished swords, spears, clubs, and few even openly carrying conventional fuse-lit black powder bombs. This was slow, open, terrorizing warfare against a helpless population.

Naruto was the first to start noticeably boiling over. He grit his teeth and began to reach for his weapon pouch until Kakashi nudged him. The silent command was followed and he shoved his hands back in his hoodie pockets, for now. Sakura on the other hand became a ball of twitching emotions. The tears in her eyes were evident enough, but depending on whatever her attention was drawn to at any moment, she would either be fighting off those tears or envisioning the horrors she would bring to peoples' minds with her genjutsu. Sasuke of course was the last to be noticeably phased, but the results were near instant. The moment he saw the homeless boy, almost half his age and hiding in a crate as three henchmen approached, his normally cold and calm demeanor burned away into the seething fury befitting his clan's element. Kakashi barely caught sight of Sasuke breaking away to help them. He almost stopped him.

Almost.

"Hey." Sasuke calls out as he approaches, hands still deep in his pockets. The four thugs turn to Sasuke with incredulous and sagging expressions, completely wasted in broad daylight.

"The ffffuck do you want, ya lillllsshhhit?" The tallest of the group, yet lower than the rest now as he drunkenly hunches, spits out as he leans in to get a better look at Sasuke as his teammates step up behind him. He cups his chin and scratches his overgrown stubble, the stench of alcohol rolling off his breath in such intensity to almost make Sakura reel back if not for the rage driving her.

"Are any of you responsible for the fire here?" Sasuke's eyes narrow. He couldn't tell if the burning in them was due to the soot in the air or the alcohol. He wouldn't know until later that evening that it was neither.

The man hunched down to him starts a sputtering laugh. "Yeah, tha' wud me! Dumb bitsh wouldn' pay up, sho I-" That man would never speak again for the rest of his life without excruciating pain. In his drunken state, he had entirely missed the headbands, the fact that hunching so close made his face an easy target, and the color of blood tinting Sasuke's formerly coal black eyes as an incomplete set of tomoe formed around his pupils.

Sasuke got him by the back of the head and leapt up to knee him in the chin, shattering several of his teeth and breaking his jaw. He then threw his unconscious first target to the ground face-first and leapt over his body just as Sakura and Naruto passed him. Sakura slammed a palm to one's forehead and channeled a more direct version of Magen: Narakumi into him. Her target began to scream and sprint away from them, desperately begging for help and stumbling over himself. Naruto's target was slapped with a seal that left him motionless and limp on the ground as Yoko began to claw and bite at him, targeting his legs and arms as to not be fatal, but surely disabling. He couldn't even scream. It's a weak seal, but someone without any training in chakra use could never escape it alone. The last of them had long enough to draw his odachi- only for Kakashi to place a kunai to their neck from behind. "You and I are going to talk. Naruto, put a seal on this one too, have some clones take him to the woods and wait for me to come and interrogate him."

Naruto nodded and created three clones with a quick handsign, one slapping a seal onto the captive's forehead and taking the sword while the two remaining clones hefted him onto their shoulders and carried him out of the street and into the woods. The real Naruto took the time to loot the remaining two and hand the entire contents of their wallets to the young man in the crate. "Here… Get yourself a nice meal, a hotel, whatever. I'll come find you whenever we're done here and see if there's anything else we can do for you, ok?"

He slowly peeks out from beneath the blanket he'd been hiding under. His eyes are still reddened by smoke and tears, his black hair hanging over them. ".. t.. t-thank you…" His voice is hoarse and weak, but there's a tiny glimmer of hope there.

This brings a gentle smile to Naruto's face as he hands over the wad of cash and stands to rejoin his team. His smile fades the moment his back is to the kid, eyes steeled and glaring blue flames across the world to someone he can't even perceive. "Let's go. We need to talk about what to do with Gato."

Kakashi narrows his visible eye on his student. "What exactly are you considering doing?"

"Same thing I do to anyone I don't like. I'll prank him."

The entire team fails to notice a toad watching from the overgrown grass beneath the town's abandoned bulletin board.

.

* * *

.

Footsteps in the grass and the occasional slap can be heard deep within the woods of Konoha, broken by the occasional thunk of metal piercing wood. A white-eyed boy skids backwards to a stop, the occasional bruise visible across his deathly pale skin. The veins around his eyes pulse and twitch not just with the pressure of his Byakugan, but the seething rage building against his sparring partner. "How the hell did you get this strong?!" He barely parries a blow to his left ribs with a right tilt and an underhanded slap to the offending arm. He breaks away from his opponent and analyzes them once more.

Lee had always been little more to him than a gangly green blob flailing at him in what he has considered one of the most uncultured and worthless taijutsu forms. The boy was fast and powerful but couldn't touch him. Now, if not for his Byakugan's ability to see through henshin, he would have suspected their sensei to have taken his student's place in this spar.

The tides had turned suddenly. Lee had bitten his thumb and swiped the blood across a seal-carved steel pad sticking out from beneath his legwarmers. His speed multiplied in that moment, and the difference was great enough to throw Neji off balance and land a few rather painful blows. The worst part is knowing just how hard Lee can hit, and that he's holding back on these punches. Lee's refraining from landing any truly harmful strikes in favor of testing his new speed and finding openings in Neji's style and patterns.

It infuriates him.

Tenten on the other hand only smirks in barely veiled amusement at the sight of her most closed-minded teammate receiving a long-awaited and much deserved beating. She knew why Lee was this tough. She forged those new shinguards for him herself. She had supplied the materials he needed to get his new tricks prepared. Neji never could have known how much Lee was improving. He considered talent to be natural, unlearnable, and unconquerable. He never took any time to admire someone else's progress, or whatever methods they used to do so. His own training was always done in solitude and with his usual high and mighty attitude. He never witnessed Lee grueling for months over books on sealing and preparing his nerves for the next step of the process. He may handle muscular and bone damage without a whimper, but his skin had to catch up in that regard to prepare himself for the ink and needle that would apply his first great work.

Although reluctant, Lee has thankfully agreed that for this to work, he can't keep their sensei's fashion sense.

.

* * *

.

The first night at Tazuna's place was enough to triple Team 7's resolve. His daughter, Tsunami, was a kind and lovely woman whose sleek and elegant black hair almost gave the impression of still ocean waters in the dead of night, complete with a history of loss and tragedy hidden beneath. That history came to the forefront thanks to her son, Inari. The young man had gone out of his way to ignore them for the majority of the night. It wasn't until Naruto had returned with Kakashi from interrogating the captured thug with nothing to show for it that things went sour.

Naruto barges through the door and groans, nearly pulling out his hair. "All that work, and the guy had literally nothing!" He flops down into his seat at the dinner table. Yoko snorts and sticks her tongue out, her head and forepaws emerging from the collar of his hoodie.

Kakashi sighs as he follows his student in. "Yes, yes, I'm as surprised as you. You always hear about the sort of people who join outfits like this just for the power and chaos, but you never expect to meet hired muscle that's actually that shallowly destructive."

Sasuke raises a brow at that, barely peeking up from his spot at the dinner table. "… Well, that's… Honestly really concerning for this town, because if there's one, he may have a few other like-minded henchmen. We'll have to be careful about that."

Sakura nods and props her head up with a closed fist under her nose. "That's an understatement. Even if we stop Gato, people like that need to be dealt with separately, cuz they're likely to do even worse things in rage once they stop getting paid and protected. It's like he has a life insurance policy that pays out in the form of violent revenge."

"So just give up." All eyes turn to the overall-clad boy in a bucket hat standing by the stairs. His eyes can barely be seen through his shaggy black hair and under the brim of his hat, but there's contempt and suffering the likes of which Sasuke recognizes instantly in them. "Gato can't be stopped. He doesn't care about anyone. He won't let you fight him for long. He'll kill you too, just like every other 'hero'-" He nearly spits that word out like it were poison. "-that's tried to stop him."

"Inari-" Tsunami quietly scolds her son. "Don't be so rude to our guests."

"It's fine." All eyes fall on Sasuke. "That's a very… realistic stance to have. One I really can't blame him for." He turns his gaze onto the now bewildered boy. "Bad people get away with terrible things all the time. But you also need to remember, Inari… that there are always equally capable people willing to fight them and put an end to the tragedies they cause. Terrible things happen..." He closes his eyes and lowers his head, propping his head up on his interlocked fingers. "But we don't have to let them keep happening. Not when there's any possibility of stopping it." He raises his head once more and stares Inari in the eyes with his incomplete Sharingan, two tomoe in the right and a single in the left. "Even if we fail and it costs our lives, the idea alone is worth fighting for. I've spent half my life training for that very purpose, so don't belittle all my effort, and the efforts of anyone else for the same purpose."

Most of the room is stunned into silence by his words. Inari can't possibly reply. Sakura's jaw slacks and nearly falls open, lips quivering as she's wracked with guilt over having never noticed just how hurt Sasuke is, what really drives him to be as great as he is. Kakashi can't help but feel his heart swell with pride. Finally, his most troubled student had found the hope necessary to focus on a purpose greater than just avenging his clan. Little did he know, Sasuke had only come to this development this very night. Witnessing the destruction Gato's very presence had caused in this town, knowing that there are many people out in the world as horrid as him, and many whom are far worse, finally pushed him to look past the single felled tree to see the forest that remains.

Naruto on the other hand lets off a half-hearted and breathy chuckle, breaking the silence as he looks his brother in all but blood dead in his eyes. Blood red meets sapphire, and the determination within them both nearly lights a spark in the air between them. "I couldn't have said it better myself, Pinkeye. So, if that's your stance on this…" His grin becomes almost sickeningly wide. "I've got a role in mind for ya in the greatest prank of my life." He shifts in his seat to raise his right side and pull scroll him his back pocket, while Sasuke is left confused as to his new nickname. "It's a work in progress yet, and I need to gather and make a lot of parts of it, but how many fireballs do you think you can give me to seal up in a week?"

Kakashi perks up as he feels the faintest flare of chakra. "Oh, about time they were ready. Tsunami-san, the backup I mentioned will be arriving in a moment. Please, don't be surprised by the method I'm bringing them here…"

As Kakashi pushes himself to his feet and channels chakra, Sakura snaps herself out of her admirating daze and focuses on her sensei. "You're bringing them here? Some sort of transport justu?"

Kakashi chuckles and pricks his thumb with a kunai. "Yeah, a little trick my sensei, the Yondaime, taught me. He'd been taught it by his own sensei, Jiraiya of the Sannin." He shifts through five handsigns and slams his hand onto the floor. "Kuchiyose!"

In a blast of smoke, two figures appear. The first is Pakkun, Kakashi's deadpan, sarcastic pug, his sagging face giving the constant impression of being tired of everyone's shit.

The other is quite the shocker, but a very welcome one. Iruka stumbles for a moment as he appears, peeking around to get his bearings. "I don't think I'll ever get used to being summo-" The wind is knocked from him as Naruto leaps into his gut and knocks him to the floor. "Uuugh… Good to see you too, son." He reaches down and ruffles Naruto's hair as he catches his breath, flat on his back. "Thanks for requesting me, Kakashi."

He shrugs and pulls a dog treat from his pocket, handing it to Pakkun. "You were the obvious choice. Your suiton is well suited for the area, and your detection skills are perfect for countering assassins. Although I'm not sure how well your jutsu will work in the middle of Kirigakure no jutsu…"

"Um…" He slowly sits up, with Naruto rolling off to sit beside him. "Last I tried it, the mist dampened my Chakra Onkyouteii a bit, but couldn't completely block it. I should be fine."

Kakashi nods and returns to reading. "Well, eat well and rest tonight. Tomorrow, we need to start training and preparing for Zabuza's counterattack. He'll need time to prepare a good strategy against us, but I'm sure he'll attack before the end of the week. Sleep in shifts, ensure the house is secure and guarded every night, set traps if you have to as long as they don't harm or inhibit our hosts." He snaps his book shut and stands over his students, looking each of them dead in the eyes. "This next week, I'm going to push you until we go home wondering how you'd ever been so weak as you were when we left Konoha. We'll make sure your first real mission, crazy as it's been so far, is a defining moment of success to kick off your true careers as shinobi."


	11. Secrets Run the World

Despite the advice to get a good night's rest, Team 7 found themselves up at the ass crack of dawn and standing by the shore. Naruto, despite his boundless energy, can only manage to stare into empty space and grumble incoherently. He remains hunched with hanging arms, barely raising one to rub his right eye. Sasuke remains upright with his arms crossed, but the bags under his eyes are notable. Sakura stands between the two with her left eye twitching and her hair a frizzy mess.

Yoko is just curled into a tight orange ball and napping on the dock.

Why did Kakashi have to be on time for once when it came to training this early in the morning?

"Alright, kiddies." Kakashi grins almost sadistically, forming a notable crease in his mask where the corners of his mouth rise. "Today, seeing as you've gotten so good at tree climbing already, I'm going to be teaching you all to walk on water. I know you've seen this demonstrated already, so you must have some vague idea what to do." He waves to his most composed student. "So, Sasuke, what can you tell us about this exercise?"

Sasuke huffs and closes his eyes, gathering his thoughts. "Well… much like tree climbing, you have to find a balance to adhere yourself to it enough to stay and not so much to break the bark. With water, if you use too much, you drag yourself under. But it's repelling instead of attaching in this case. Too much, and you blast the water away and lose your footing. Too little, and you fall through. But how much you put out, and in what pattern, must shift with the water. You need to train it until reacting to the flow of the water is instinctive."

"Very good." Kakashi snaps his book shut and looks his students over. "We'll spend the first chunk of the day on training up this skill. I expect you to all be able to walk on water with ease by the end of our first three days of training. We'll have another three at least before Zabuza and his cohort return for Tazuna's head. Afterwards, Iruka and I will be splitting up and using clones to teach each of you privately and personally." He tucks his book into his back pocket and waves to the water off the docks. "Best get to it, kids."

Sakura whines as she approaches the edge of the dock, staring into the murky water. "I'm gonna get soaked doing this, aren't I?"

"So?" She peeks up to find Naruto approaching while in the process of removing his hoodie and shirt. "We're ninja, and water's a lot better than blood."

"N-N-Naruto, w-what are you doing?!"

He stares at her as blankly as he can manage. "I have seals and paper and shit in my pockets, and I don't want my clothes to be completely soaked." He pulls off his weapon and scroll pouches, adds the contents of his cargo pockets, and balls it all together in his hoodie before pelting Yoko awake with it. "You need to learn this too, lazy-ass!"

Yoko whines, grunts, and chatters at him as she crawls out from under his jacket.

"Hey, it's not my fault you stayed up half the night talking to Pakkun and asking about this fox Uru's trying to set you up with…"

Sasuke pauses at the edge of the dock. "That's what all the yapping last night was about?" He sighs and cracks his neck. "Whatever, let's get this training over with." He's the first to leap off, landing on the water with a smack akin to a belly-flop, standing for about half a second, then sinking as the water ripples and throws off his balance. He sinks in and manages to pulse chakra through his arms quickly enough to balance himself and not go under. "… You chose the beach instead of a still pond for this just because it's harder, didn't you?"

"Hm?" Kakashi peeks up from his book and speaks in a deadpan drone. "What makes you say that?"

Sasuke narrows his sharingan at Kakashi before swimming back to the dock to try again.

Naruto snorts as he finishes his stretching and steps off the pier. "This'll be easy." He lands on his left foot first, sinks halfway up his shin, then pulses chakra in a manner that blasts the water away and himself from it. He falls back and onto his ass, staring wide-eyed at the wave he just made. "O-Ok, that was way too much chakra. Got it."

"Um… N-Naruto?"

"Hm?" He peeks up to Sakura as he lays back on the dock. "What's up?"

"W..." She points to his stomach. "W-What with that seal on you? I-it's a l-lot more complex than a-anything I've ever seen you m-make..."

Naruto's blood runs cold as he peeks down to himself. He should be familiar with this seal by now, but having it pointed out by someone uninformed is simply chilling. It's a struggle to keep all the muscles in his stomach from visibly tensing in fear at that moment.

Thankfully, bluffs come easily to a trap master.

"O-oh, um... it's e-experimental. Not really complete yet, but um, i-it's meant to be a sort of long-term chakra seal to give me a full restock and then some in e-emergencies."

Kakashi can't help but be a bit proud of that. Most of that was true, and sprinkling truth into a lie is the best way to make it feel real, even to a trained shinobi. Lies of omission are indeed an important skill in the shinobi field Naruto's chosen to specialize in. it's at this moment that he decides what the next step in his student's training is going to be today.

Sasuke kneels to get a better look at it. "Really? That's a cool concept… but wouldn't that also be really dangerous to use? I've OD'd on chakra pills before, and this seal must be that times a dozen."

Sakura scoffs. "If it were that times a dozen, he'd be out cold minutes after using it."

".. W-Well…" Naruto chuckles nervously. "Probably, yeah… like I said, l-last resort."

Kakashi waves the ordeal off and turns his back. "Try to avoid using it, then. For now, get back to training, and try not to worry about the seal. Besides, I see a few flaws in it that need to be worked on before it'll even work anyway."

Naruto side-eyes his sensei incredulously, but translates him quite quickly. He doesn't see any flaws, he's not good enough with seals to know if there are any, but there's no reason for the other two not to believe him. "R-Right… though getting it off may require a removal seal by the old man." He pushes himself back to his feet and approaches the water again. "O-Ok, let's try this again."

The next five hours was an obnoxious wet shitshow, leaving team seven sunken into the water dozens of times each. Naruto was certain he'd reached a hundred dips at one point.

After his fiftieth, he kept a clone underwater and had them write a seal on the underside of the pier to blast Kakashi off and into the water. It failed, and Naruto was told if he's going to use clones, he'll be using them to speed up his training.

Eventually, they all manage to maintain themselves on the water for ten minutes at a time without any issues, and smoothly drifting over small waves. That done, Kakashi creates two clones and breaks the party up to train each of his students separately in their own specialties, as best he can.

In a small clearing half a kilometer west-southwest of the docks, Kakashi stands before Naruto in silence as he weighs his options and lets his student stew in anticipation. Naruto is… actually not having any of that, and currently chattering away with Yoko about what the two of them think they might be learning.

"… At attention, Naruto." He bolts upright and shoves his hands in his pockets. Shinobi have no salute, but it's clear Naruto's at least trying to be more formal and attentive. "You impressed me back there. You clearly have a grasp on how to twist the truth into a convincing lie. For your specialty, that's a crucial talent… but you could be better." Kakashi pulls out a small notebook and sifts through it. "Anyone with real experience in deception could have read through you easily enough. The only way to improve is through acting practice. So, we'll hit three birds with one stone." He tosses the notebook to Naruto. He fumbles for a moment, but catches it and starts to read through a list of physical, psychological, and historical traits. "Your transformation also needs some work. You're meticulous and quick with it, but only with either your Orioke no Jutsu or people you know personally. If you're going to get any good at infiltrating, you need to be able to mimic people you've only just met, and likely killed, and replace them. But even then, you still run the risk of encountering someone who knows who you've become better than you do." He crosses his arms and tilts his head back, grinning down to his befuddled student. "So you're going to take features in this book to make ten different clones of non-existent people, then send them into town to investigate Gato's hold on Nami no Kuni, and anything else you can dig up on him."

Naruto studies the contents of the notebook for a few minutes, biting his lips as he divvies up qualities, backgrounds, skills, making varied and convincing people to the best of his ability. Soon enough, he's producing clones of men and women of various ages and professions. An old, tired, fisherman, a wandering widow, a homeless blind man, a thieving orphan boy, an obnoxious drunk- and Kakashi paused as he realized Naruto was starting to make multiple, and send out more than he'd demanded. After twenty clones all in personalized disguises, the original stands and stretches. "Well, that should do. While they're working, I should probably do some physical training, right?"

Kakashi stares for a moment, but eventually grins through his mask and nods. "A wonderful idea. Well then, how about we work on your speed? Try to apply the same chakra expulsion used for water walking to your feet, but in much higher quantities, and see how fast it makes you."

"Oh hell yeah!" Naruto lowers himself into a sprinting stance and pulses chakra odd his forward foot just as it slips behind him in his first stride-

And lands face-first into a tree ahead of him. "…. Uuuuuugggghhh-"

Several clearings to the north, one of Kakashi's clones stands with Sasuke, watching him going through a few katas while maintaining his Mahiken. His style, as quick, reactive, and direct as it is, meshes with this jutsu all too well. He could compare it to the Hyuga's Jyuuken easily enough, but not quite as low, rotating, or focused. There's extra focus on hitting limbs compared to the body, for the sake of disabling, but it doesn't require the same amount of precision. The extra room for error and flexibility makes it a great style for a reactionary close-combatant. This jutsu alone has already exposed Sasuke's greatest traits, and made training him easier than Kakashi could have hoped. "Well, Sasuke… With Naruto focused on traps, and Sakura focused on support with genjutsu and iryojutsu, I believe it's best that you learn to focus on pure assault. Your style works wonderfully in close combat, but it's flexible enough to retreat to mid range and focus your efforts there as well. As such, we'll need to focus on improving your strength, speed, and chakra capacity." He cracks his knuckles and starts shifting through handsigns. "But to augment that, why not learn a fire version of your Mahiken as well? You may need a different combat style to go with it to make proper use, but there's no reason not to get the jutsu working ahead of time. Especially if it can improve your resistance to your secondary element for greater fire jutsu later."

Sasuke kneels and raises his barely closed hand to his face, index knuckle tucked between his pursed lips. After a few moments, he starts shifting through handsigns. Normally, the original D rank jutsu he modified was Mi-Ushi. His Mahiken was Mi-I-Saru. This time, he attempts Tora-I-Saru and channels fire chakra, all too familiar thanks to his Gokyakyu no jutsu. Soon enough, flames begin to spark around his hands, but snuff out quickly. He scowls, but attempts this again, and again. Kakashi's clone leans against a nearby tree and watches Sasuke's progress with a smile. Just a little push, and his own drive builds his momentum. To top it off, trying to learn this jutsu will also improve both his control and chakra capacity by repeatedly attempting it until perfection, then maintaining it long-term. Sasuke's training was in his own hands now, and they'd probably hurt like hell by the end of the day, but it'd be more than worth it.

Lastly was Kakashi's second clone, seated on a stump as he goes over a medical textbook with Sakura. Her memory still shocks him, and her work ethic has become something to rival her teammates. The reading alone is high level, but she picks it up as easily as second nature. The most impressive part is that she's also managing to flow water chakra through a senbon on each of her fingertips to keep them balanced upright. Her control is ludicrous, but learning to do this with water chakra so quickly shows control and potential that hasn't been seen in this element in Konoha since the Nidaime. Her chakra capacity is far from enough to take advantage of it to the extent he did, but it's enough to make pure chakra control tricks a tide turner.

But the real shocker was when she then reached down with the senbon, dragged them across her own thigh, didn't flinch, and proceeded to heal her own wound. Her memory isn't her only mental trick. She has hyperfocus. With all her social and mental quirks, this ability makes it possible for her to dedicate herself to a target and completely ignore outside influence. It's a double-edged sword, but that's something most shinobi have in some form. In this case, the benefit of being able to ignore pain completely is a huge advantage. Her focus, instead, is on then applying her latest lessons to healing the fresh cut she'd just given herself. Her iryojutsu is still a fresh and weak talent, but by the end of the week, she should be able to heal any non-critical bleeding wound easily.

Back with the original Kakashi, the real Naruto is now turning off his gravity seals and stretching in preparation of stealth training for further surveillance of the town. Knowing Kakashi will follow to ensure his safety, he prepares to sprint without a word- but freezes as Kakashi grabs his shoulder "Naruto... before we go, there's something I should clarify."

"Hm?.." Naruto stands and drops his grin, knowing it must be serious if Kakashi insists on saying it here rather than on the move. "W-Well, I'm all-ears." To emphasize this, Yoko's ears perk up behind Naruto, as she's tucked herself back into his hood.

Kakashi peers around as if to double check their privacy. He's already certain of it, but he knows this will get the point of how important this is across to his student. "I know I commended you earlier for the efficacy of that lie, but it doesn't mean that was the right thing to do."

His student's sapphire eyes widen as the implications sink in. "B-But… that's supposed to be an S-rank secret!" He stumbles back and bumps into a tree. "N-Nobody's supposed to f-find out!"

"False." Naruto freezes in his tracks. "A few select people have permission to speak of it freely. This list includes myself, the Hokage, his surviving former teammate, Elders Homura and Koharu, elite strategist Nara Shikaku, the two loyal members of the Sanin, and you. And your father recently of course. You and the Hokage also have exclusive rights to doll out permission to speak of it to others." He steps up and leans down to look his student in the eyes. "This of course means you have permission to tell anyone you trust enough with this knowledge, including your teammates."

Naruto finds himself frozen under his sensei's gaze. The intensity of his stare, the weight of the decision thrust upon him, and the impact he feels ahead of him combine into a stunning force that Sasuke's Mahiken can't match.

How could he possibly tell his teammates about the Kyuubi? He'd barely gotten Sakura to trust him, and stop hitting him so much. If she found out, she'd probably avoid him completely, for a while at least. Maybe try to be transferred to another team. Sasuke, he couldn't be too sure still. They'd grown closer, he felt like a true friend now, if a bit distant still. This reveal could completely break that.

But he could be underestimating them. They could understand. Sasuke's not the type to make a big deal of just about anything, and Sakura's the smartest girl he knows, so she'd be able to look at the whole seal situation objectively, right?

"… I'll… I'll think about it. It won't be easy, but… m-maybe." He closes his eyes and shakes his head clear. "I-I should get to work on my stealth training. I'll think about this later…" he turns and bolts off towards the town, disappearing into the woods in silence, with Kakashi's clone in tow.

The real Kakashi, who Naruto hadn't been speaking to or known of, steps out of hiding and watches as he goes. "… He took that well."

"Hmph." A short distance away, the great toad sage fades into view leaning against a tree, arms crossed and head down. "Not bad, gaki. He's learning well, and his specialties are something rare and versatile. He'll be a trip to train, and his potential is stunning. It's amazing, how much he took after both his parents. So much of his mother's personality, but his father's looks and intellect? Now I know it's not conventional intelligence, but nothing about the Uzumaki is ever conventional." He looks over to Kakashi with a grin. "You set up his training for today to show him off to me, didn't you?"

"Am I that transparent?" Kakashi rolls his eyes. "It's his specialties, you said it yourself. It was the right choice today for a lot of reasons, and you're probably the smallest one, to be honest."

Jiraiya grins and marches up to his student's student. "Just what I wanted to hear. I'll be keeping an eye on him too then." His smile fades a bit, but doesn't disappear. "As for that last bomb you dropped on him… I'll let how he handles that determine if he's ready to meet me, and how much he's ready to hear."

Kakashi freezes and peers over at the sage from the corner of his eye. "… You're thinking of telling him everything?"

"Potentially." The sage passes Kakashi and heads off towards the town. "If he handles this well enough, he'll deserve it. if he can prove he can be trusted with that knowledge, and won't let it get to his head, then I'll tell him." He lowers his head and shakes it. "I wish I could have told him years ago..." He pauses for a moment to gather himself. Kakashi can't blame him. As stoic as a shinobi of his caliber is meant to be, pain this deep cannot be completely ignored.


	12. Secrets Worth Telling

Half an hour on the streets of Nami is all it takes to find a lucky break. One of Naruto's clones is disguised as one your average street thugs, slightly darker skin suggesting he's used to equatorial living and a lot of travel. His messy brown afro and barely grown mustache blow about in the ocean breeze, as does his open crimson overshirt, white button-up beneath it, and dark gray shorts. He decided to enhance his disguise by stealing a pair of Geta sandals, clacking away with every step to support the authenticity of the illusion, and a quick 'spar' with another thug earned him a cheap-ass katana to carry about.

His visage didn't go unnoticed for long. He could tell a good number of thugs were eying him, wondering where this wannabe samurai came from and what to do about him… until he approached a gaggle of them gathered out front of a restaurant. He keeps his back arched into a profound slouch and his hands deep in his pockets. "So, I heard there's good work in these parts. Who's payin, and what's the gig?"

The two eldest mercs share a quick glance. In an instant, Naruto knows they must share a history either under Gato's employ or on other job. He decides to keep an eye on these two. Disguising himself as either one at any time would be too risky, for now at least. They deliberate in silence in a matter of two seconds before looking back to the walking bomb they're about to invite into their midst. "Gato needs this place underfoot for his… secondary businesses. He's got a lot of property here, and lot to take yet. Might need to get your hands dirty, if ya know what I mean."

Naruto scoffs and shakes his head. "Good money, and a town to have the run of? Yeah, I'm in. What perks come with it? We get any of his stock?"

The youngest of the crew grins wide enough to almost split his face. "Boy, we got the best shit in the world! Part of the job is to keep em from farming here. The boss needs all that land for his products. I've been flyin half the time I've been here, man!" He reaches into his back pocket and pulls out a bag full of pre-rolled joints, clearly handmade. "Want a sample to celebrate the new job?"

Naruto raises an eyebrow as he debates how to handle this. Denying it would seem a bit too obstinate for this crowd. If he uses it, his regenerative properties from the fox won't allow him to get anything out of it. He has no experience with this kinda stuff to work off of to act like he's high, so that's out of the question too. Thankfully, his prankster's mind has already devised a dozen ways to take advantage of this by the time half a second has passed. "Eh, I'll take a sample," He reaches out to take a blunt and stuffs it in his pocket. "but I'll wait to have this later with a good drink and a girl on my arm, ya know? Why waste a good thing like this in these dreary parts?"

The eldest of the group chuckles and gives Naruto a quick fistbump. "Now that's a real man's way. You'll fit in here just fine, boy. What's your name?"

"Oh yeah, always been poor at introductions." He chuckles and shoves both hands back in his pockets. "Call me Genma."

"Well, Genma..." He waves for the clone to follow as they turn and leave. "Lemme show ya to some of the best cargo. You need a girl? We've got plenty."

Two blocks away, with right eye glowing and right ear tingling, Jiraiya chuckles to himself and turns to walk away, his transparency jutsu in full swing and nobody the wiser. "Not bad, kid. You've got a real future in infiltration. My spy network could use more men like you…" He sighs and marches off towards the bridge builder's abode. "Now, I believe the real you is…"

Back in the same clearing Naruto had made all of his clones in, he sits in a near meditative state, occasionally placing a few brush strokes on the schematics at work in front of him. He had gone into the field to double check for any specific scenarios he'd need to make new clones on the fly for, but returned soon after to record his findings and work on more designs. Each calculation is careful and deliberate, collected by clones elsewhere, preparing his greatest trap yet. He'd need a lot of help with this one. Yoko remains seated in his lap through it all, half asleep and just enjoying her best friend's company. Naruto jolts as another clone pops and he jots down a few notes on a separate scroll, beneath a series of them detailing intel from his disguised clones. "That's a pretty huge pot farm… Now what to do with it? Could probably get away with stealing some to use in traps… Maybe give some to Sakura for medical research? I know Jiji would want some…" He chuckles and shakes his head. "Illegal in a lot of Sui no Kuni territory, where Gato does most of his trading, but perfectly legal back home, thanks to Tsunade's research and Jiji's insistence. Kakashi sensei, didn't the Nara have a hand in that too?"

"Yep." Kakashi looks up from his book and glances over the scrolls. "Impeccable work so far. I discovered some of that well before you, but your clones and the range of your search improves your results by quite a lot. Figuring out what warehouses he's using isn't difficult, the pot farm's pretty huge and hard to miss, but getting both of those and the whereabouts of his human trafficking cells in such a short time is incredible for someone your age."

Naruto chuckles as he writes down a few more bits of intel. "How's adding the ship Gato's living on and the total roster of his missing nin hires sound?"

Kakashi perks up and stashes his book back in his back pocket before stepping up to read. "No names, but decent descriptions. We already knew about Zabuza and the demon brothers, though. His Hyoton using friends seems to be quite a lot of trouble, but-" Kakashi pauses and glares at the one name Naruto was able to get. "… That idiot is actually throwing his name around?" Kakashi rubs at the bridge of his nose. "Ugh…"

"Guessing you recognize the name somehow." Naruto pinches his chin- Kakashi once again marvels at how unknowingly similar he is to his father. "So who's this Aoi Rokushō, anyway?"

"A dumbass who thinks he's tough shit just because he got his hands on a powerful tool. That sword your intel says he's bragging about was one of the Nidaime's creations." Kakashi pulls his right hand from his pocket and channels a bit of lightning into it. "It was one of my inspirations for my original jutsu, actually. My sensei, the Yondaime, was a big fan of his as well. You've taken up one of his jutsu, too." He smirks at the realization that Naruto's completely enrapt by this knowledge. "The Kage Bunshin was one of the Nidaime's creations. Seems that's a habit that's gone through three generations of students now."

Naruto returns his gaze to his notes, but smiles gently at the thought of already being so mentally and emotionally close to his idols. Without even realizing it, he'd made a piece of their legacy his own. His spirit refreshed and more empowered than ever, he returns to work, inspired to develop a plethora of new traps and techniques.

Off to the side of the clearing, a toad watches in silence, but struggles not to break into a smile and ruin the illusion.

That is, until Yoko starts eyeing him up and he bails as hurriedly as possible.

.

* * *

.

Dinner was relatively uneventful. Inari was still absent, which Sasuke seemed a bit distracted by, but said nothing of it. He knows how the boy's feeling after the speech he'd given. Sakura was completely drained of chakra, digging into her meal like her life depends on it. Thankfully, this was a bit of advice from Anko that she took to heart: stop dieting. Shinobi don't diet, they binge and train to the point that not a single calorie is excessive. Naruto on the other hand is oddly quiet at this meal. Kakashi explained it away as the results of the headache induced by expelling too many clones at once, but he knew all too well that Naruto was really thinking off the conundrum he'd proposed to him earlier.

Naruto's deliberation becomes so deep as to nearly enter his mindscape. For a moment, he ceases to see his meal and instead sees the Kyuubi's face, lazily smirking at him in his own half-slumbering state. Seeing the fox laying there on the titanic pillow he had conjured months ago, shockingly peaceful for such a reportedly destructive beast, once again turned his thoughts to how their conversation a few months ago had gone. Since then, he's had a lot of time to think about the 'interrogation' he promised the cocky kitsune, but one thing stayed at the forefront of his mind; Why isn't the Kyuubi the mindless and destructive beast that the village assumes him to be?

For him to act as he did in that first meeting proves a wealth of intelligence beyond those reports, and having seen it with his own eyes, he knows it must be the truth. Therefore, logic states the 'mass-destructive wild animal' reports are false. So why? He'd have to ask later, if he can ever find his way back into his mindscape to do so. It's proven difficult so far.

Regardless, that leaves him with one more inquiry: How should he tell the others of his tenant and said tenant's intelligence? By now, it wasn't a question of whether he should or shouldn't, but how to break it to them smoothly enough to prevent any panic.

Eventually, Naruto's finishes his meal and washes up for the night, making his way upstairs to the guest room offered to himself and his teammates. He'd been the last to bathe that night, and it gave him just the time he needed to figure out the final details of his plan.

He opens the sliding door into his team's room, and the moment it's shut behind him, he clears his throat. "So, guys… there's a few things I really need to talk to you both about."

Sasuke raises his head from the scroll he'd been reading on chakra applications to taijutsu, tucked into the corner opposite the door, beside his cot. "What's this about, then?"

Sakura barely realizes anything's going on until Naruto walks past her field of vision, just above the medical textbook she'd been reading. "O-Oh, hey Naruto! Is something wrong?"

Yoko remains napping in the middle of the floor, paying no attention whatsoever. She already knows what's coming.

Once he reaches the window and stares out of it, he sighs deeply, takes a moment to run his towel over his head to dry his hair off more, and speaks with his back turned. "We make a great team, but I don't feel like we really know each other that well. That needs to change. Honestly, I… I have some really big things to tell you two, but I'd like if all of us could get something off our chests tonight."

Sakura tilts her head as she weighs her options on this. "… Alright. I'll bite." She marks her place in her book and sets it aside before laying back in her bed. "Guess I'll start. I probably have the least to say. So… You should know Naruto… I have you to thanks for becoming half as competent as I am now." She returns her gaze to him from the ceiling. "That prank you pulled on the fanclub got me to resign from it and start taking things seriously. I… I know I was really hard on you for years. I know I wasn't the best person…" She looks back to the ceiling and runs her fingers through her hair, getting a bit stressed just bringing this up. "Sasuke, I was way too obsessed with you. That set me back a lot. And I'm not letting that hold me back anymore. Naruto's the one who showed me just how much that obsession crippled my progress as a kunoichi, and even then it took a lot of struggling with everything my grandmother always told me about 'marrying a rich clan boy like Sasuke' to finally snap out of it. She was always on about 'that Naruto boy's a demon' and 'Sasuke's the best thing you can have in life'." She half-heartedly mimics a gag. "So sick of her shit. It's not to say you're not… still on my mind, Sasuke. I'm just focusing more on me now. And Naruto…." She finally looks back to him with a gentle smile. "I'm sorry for everything over the years. Just know you can count on me to not cause you any more trouble moving forward. I've got your back, just as much as Sasuke's."

That one confession, no matter how comparatively small it is compared to the one he had coming, leaves Naruto's choice to tell them sealed. All that remained was Sasuke's own confession. After lingering on Sakura with a teary smile, he turns to face Sasuke, and finds him stunned still for a few seconds yet.

Once Sasuke finally moves, he crosses his arms and tucks himself deeper into the corner. "…Thank you, Sakura. It's… nice to hear that without your fangirling in the way." He sighs and closes his eyes to calm himself for what's to come. "… You heard what I said in introductions. I have a goal to track and kill someone for the sake of my clan and village. That would be my brother, Itachi."

Naruto nods and pinches his chin. "The bastard who slaughtered your clan. Anyone with an ear to the ground and without their head up their ass knows about that."

Sasuke nods and returns to his tale. "When he did it, I couldn't understand why he left me alive. I honestly still can't, but I've obsessed over that all my life. It wasn't until you two started changing that I started… rethinking it."

Naruto perks up and raises a brow. "Why's that?"

"… I saw how you two changed by dropping your obsessions. Naruto, your mindless obsession with being Hokage without having a real plan for how was something I found both ridiculous and admirable. It was a big goal, like mine, and neither of us had a clue how to get there. I just wanted to get stronger, and didn't care how, or know how." He looks to Sakura, whose been staring intently through every word, enrapt and clearly inspired. "And… Sakura. When you abandoned your obsession of me and started taking things more seriously, I realized my obsession with killing Itachi was clouding my judgement and making me miss a bigger picture too." He sighs deeply as sparks fly between his fingers. "Yes, he most certainly needs to die still. I still plan to do so. But I'm not going to rush in blind for the sake of vengeance anymore…" He looks up from his sparking hand with a smirk. "I still wasn't sure what new motivation I needed until that homeless kid in town yesterday. I knew at that moment it was for kids like him. Like… me. To protect people from monsters like Itachi who would leave more kids like me in the world."

Sakura's left blushing a bit by the end of his speech, once again floored by him, but for reasons far from those her previous, fangirl self would have been. She gently shakes herself from her lovestruck stupor and steps over to take his hand, which conveniently stops sparking as she reaches out. "You know you don't have to handle all of that alone." She peeks up to Naruto for a moment. "Just like you don't have to suffer your climb to Hokage alone."

Sasuke nods and sighs in relief. "That's why I'm telling you. Because I know you'll have my back. When the time comes for me to deal with him, I do want to fight him alone… but we'll help each other grow stronger, to be sure we can all handle monsters like Itachi."

Naruto nods solemnly and takes a deep breath to prep for his reveal. "Speaking of monsters… do either of you know what a jinchuuriki is?"

Sakura stares blankly for a moment, but Sasuke wracks his brain and finds an answer from within his clan's texts. "Wait, are you fucking serious?"

Sakura peeks down to her crush. "W-What's wrong? What's a jinchuuriki?"

Sasuke sighs. "Naruto, explain it, cuz I have an idea what's going on, but I need holes filled in."

Naruto nods and starts to pace around the room. "Basically… a Biju, like the Kyuubi, can't be killed. But it can be sealed, and all of them have been before, as best I know. But it takes a strong seal to do it, a really strong one. The Kyuubi's the strongest of them, so it takes a seal great enough to kill the user…" He sighs deeply and scratches the back of his head. "and a newborn baby with undeveloped but flexible chakra coils to seal him in."

Sakura quickly puts 2 and 2 together to get the 5 million on this reveal's WTF scale. "Wait, you're telling me to Yondaime died sealing that thing in _you_?"

Naruto chuckles grimly and nods. "Yeah. My hero died leaving me trapped with the thing everyone in the village treats me like shit for."

Sasuke grumbles and glares out the window, to the south. "That explains a lot. The hate, the glares, the insults, your ridiculous chakra capacity…"

"U-Um…" Sakura giggles nervously. "Do you, um… hear him, at all?"

Naruto snorts. "That's the best part. I've had a few conversations with him in the last eight months, and lemme tell ya, the guy's a lot more intelligent than the reports from that night let on. So much so that I'd have to guess there was something going on that night that only he knows, and he's refusing to tell me. Says I'm 'not ready'."

Sakura pauses and furrows her brow, focusing on all the imperceptible details she's already collected. "But if he's intelligent, then why has nobody reported him speaking at all that night? Why the drastic difference?"

Sasuke groans and rubs the bridge of his nose. "Genjutsu… Naruto, can you pass my apologies to him for whatever jackass in my family was responsible for that?"

Naruto's mouth falls agape for just a moment, but then snaps back shut as he considers Sasuke's implication. "That explain a lot… and he's too prideful to admit it happened. But why are you so sure it was someone in your clan?"

He grumbles and leans back against the wall, staring up at the ceiling. "… The night my brother slaughtered our clan, he used the strongest genjutsu in the world on me. Something I discovered more details about my looking into ancient family records. It's called Tsukuyomi, and only someone with an especially advanced and powerful Sharingan, a stage known as the Mangekyou, can use it. It was the worst experience of my life… and if the Sharingan is capable of horrors like that, then I have no doubt that the clan records suggesting it's been used to command Biju before are correct too." He drops his gaze to Naruto and narrows his eyes. "… I believe you, Naruto. And if you ever find a way for anyone else to hold a conversation with him, I have a few questions of my own."

Sakura nods in agreement and shifts off her knees to sit beside Sasuke against the wall. "It's… a bit much to take in, but he's right, Naruto. We believe you, and we've got your back. And even the Kyuubi's, if he's as smart and potentially innocent as you're suggesting." She sighs and leans back to relax a bit, almost slumping against Sasuke, who seems uncomfortable, but doesn't object. "I trust your judgement. Besides the pranks you pull on us, you haven't steered us wrong before…"

A few moments of heavy silence pass before Naruto manages to step over and sit on Sakura's other side. Yoko leaps into his lap a moment later. "Thanks, guys…" He keeps his head turned away to hide the few tears of joy he can't hold back. "… for believing me… and in me, when so few have before."

Sasuke snorts slightly. "You may be a good liar, but you're a shitty storyteller. The story you just told us makes too much sense for you to have written it."

.

* * *

.

Just outside the window, with the salty ocean breeze blowing his minimized scent away so Yoko can't detect him through his transparency jutsu, Jiraiya sits on the wall of the second floor with a smile plastered on his face. _This kid's ready. As soon as he's asleep for the night…_

.

* * *

.

Naruto jolts awake as water splashes across his face, leaping into a defensive stance and frantically peeking around to the sight of empty woods. He already recognizes the divot his ass left in the dirt when he was recording all his intel here earlier that day, so he knows he hasn't gone far… but how did he get here?

"Naruto, up here." He quickly follows that familiar voice to find Kakashi lounging in a tree, reading his usual Icha Icha. "We all brought you out here because we need to have a very important and confidential chat with you."

Naruto stares for a moment as he registers the 'we' in his statement, before whirling around to see the three other men perches in nearby trees. The first to stand out is his adoptive father Iruka, kneeling on a lower branch and still holding the last handsign for the water jutsu that woke him up. Second is Hiruzen Sarutobi himself, the Sandaime, in his combat gear including a black jumpsuit and helmet. The last figure confuses him for a moment, another old man standing cross-armed in a red vest with shaggy white hair past his hips and a giant scroll strapped on his back. The custom headband with the kanji for oil gives him away though, and Naruto's left wide-eyed and stunned. "… J.. J-Jiji? A-And Jiraiya?" He wheels back to Kakashi and his dad. "What's going on here?"

"What's happening, Naruto…" He's cut off as Jiraiya leaps down from his perch and crouches slightly to be at eye level with the orange-clad genin. "Is there's more secrets to you than just the Kyuubi, and we've decided you're ready to hear it."

Naruto stumbles back from Jiraiya and glances at Hiruzen. "… What secrets?"

He sighs and slowly walks down the tree to meet with everyone on the ground. "I told you that you weren't ready to know your heritage. Well, that's changed. But you must know that this too is an S rank secret, just as the Kyuubi is, but unlike that one, you will not have permission to speak of this openly for some time yet. Not until you're a Chuunin, at the very least."

Naruto audibly gulps as that fact sinks in. How could the secret to his parentage be so important? Unless-

At that moment, the pieces come together. The Sandaime as the ruling force and officiator. Kakashi as the student, Jiraiya as the teacher, his adoptive father there for support. It all comes together in an instant, and he draws his textbook on sealing, scrawled with notes on every page, from a seal on the inside of his hoodie. He turns to the inside of the front cover and finds the signature of the man who marked it up to hell and back for the sake of improving the art of sealing.

That signature was none other than the Yondaime Hokage himself, Minato Namikaze.

"… You've gotta be shitting me." He nearly drops the book. "You've been setting me up for this reveal for months. My sensei, this book, getting me on a mission close to Jiraiya…" He slumps against a tree. "… Of course he chose me. How could the Yondaime have chosen anyone but his own son to be a jinchuuriki?"

Kakashi nods and looks up to the stars through the sparse leaves above. "He couldn't make someone else make a sacrifice he wasn't willing to himself. But, there was more to it…"

Iruka sighs deeply as he takes a seat beside his adoptive son. "I knew them both well enough. Minato was an idol to me. Uzumaki Kushina was beautiful and terrifying, but had so much life to her." He peeks down to Naruto with a smile. "You take after her a lot more than you do your dad, honestly."

Jiraiya snorts. "Minato's mind and Kushina's hyperactivity and penchant for pranks? I swear, it's the most terrifying thing I've ever seen." Naruto chuckles half-heartedly at that, but the sage's next comment shuts him up fast. "But, you also inherited her status as a jinchuuriki from her."

Silence falls as Naruto registers that fact. "… So something caused the seal to break on the night I was born, releasing the fox with me, and… she must have been dying as a result."

Hiruzen grunts and nods in confirmation. "As you suspect. She was in a heavily guarded base far off from the village to deliver you, in case the seal broke, with your father maintaining it. Something happened that night to break the seal, and when a jinchuuriki loses their tenant, they are certain to die in short order. Your mother lasted long enough so aid your father in resealing the fox into you. Not only were you the only candidate as their son, but the best candidate, as an Uzumaki. The third Uzumaki to contain the Kyuubi."

Naruto raises his head with a jump and stares the Hokage in the eyes. "Third? Who was the first?"

"Ah…" Hiruzen strokes his fingers through his beard. "That would be your great great aunt, Uzimaki Mito, the Shodaime's wife. Mito was a wonderful woman, I know you would have loved her. She aided her husband in sealing the Kyuubi the first time after Uchiha Madara chose to summon and hypnotize the Kyuubi to his will in their final battle at what is now the Valley of End. It was discovered afterwards that the Uzumaki bloodline is especially potent as jinchuuriki, and most capable of containing the fox. Any other child may have died in the process."

Naruto falls silent once more and lets all these facts mingle and interlock, and the moment the Madara fact links back to his conversation earlier that night, he jolts to his feet. "The night I was born, another Uchiha attacked and put the Kyuubi under another genjutsu."

All shinobi present look to one another as they consider this information. Although things like this are normally high above Iruka's pay grade, he's always been good at gathering intel, and he's had similar suspicions for a long time. Jiraiya is the first to speak up. "I heard you and your team talking about all this earlier, and already filled the other three here in." He gestures to his sensei with a tilt of his head. "He'd already suspected that a long time ago but didn't want to believe it. Knowing what we do now, it seems undeniable."

Hiruzen sighs and hangs his head. "Yet another failure in my duties as Kage. Still… I doubt there were any Uchiha alive at the time with that sort of talent. I'm still not certain what to think."

"Either way…" Kakashi buts in and places a hand on Naruto's shoulder. "I'm sure you see exactly why we had to wait so long to tell you…"

Jiraiya grumbles. "And keep our distance…" He shakes his head and tightly grips his crossed arms. "I wanted to be there for you from the start, but my job and the beacon it would put on you couldn't allow it. I couldn't stay in the village with you because my spy network would have collapsed and leaked intel everywhere, and me being seen with you would have told every foreign spy exactly who you are. I couldn't bring you with because my work requires a specific skill set that no child can meet even with my guidance." He finally looks Naruto in the eyes again, his own aged and sagging as though this one confession was aging him another decade. "I've failed you as a godfather."

Naruto stares into his freshly-met family's eyes for several tense moments. That tension grows deeper for just a moment as Naruto rushes him with a jab to the sage's gut. He doesn't bother to dodge or block, taking it directly and hunching over, only to then find the boy's face buried into him and his other arm around his back. "… B-But I know you had to do it… and I know you can make it up to me…"

Jiraiya sputters silently for a moment but lets just a few tears free as he kneels down and pulls the overwhelmed blonde boy into his arms. "I promise I will. You can count on it, kid. You'll see a lot more of me soon, and eventually, I'll personally train you. Ya got that, gaki?"

Naruto chuckles and grins through tears as he pulls back. "I-I got it! I'll be waiting for you, Ero-Sennin."

"Hey, where the hell did that name come from?!"

"Dad called you a perv all over his notes in this textbook, I'm making that a family tradition."

"Iruka, please, tell your son to cut it out."

"I dunno, I think it's pretty accurate."


	13. Secrets Uncovered

Naruto wakes to find the familiar chill of concrete on his back and dim torchlight surrounding him, staring up into an infinite abyss littered with floating gears, axels, and pistons. With a hefty sigh, he sits up and props himself with both arms. "How goes it, fox?"

The Kyuubi grunts and barely opens one eye from his perch on the titanic pillow Naruto had spawned in his cage. "Decently, all things considered. Your conversation with the old monkey and the toad earlier was intriguing."

Naruto snorts and backflips to his feet. "Of course you were watching that. So what out of that got your attention, then?"

He huffs. "The part where they already figured out I wasn't in control that night. I'll need to have a nice long chat with the monkey one of these days…"

Naruto pinches his chin and considers the potential of that. "… Think we could get Inoichi to help with that if Jiji ordered it?"

The fox falls silent, but slowly grins down to his captor. "It's wonderful, watching you abuse your connections like that without making an ass of yourself. There's a big difference between using your resources and swinging someone else's dick around like it's your own."

Naruto snorts and stumbles at that comment. "O-Oh my god, I have to use that one, p-please let me teach Konohamaru with that one!" He coughs between fits of laughter. "Kami, I never thought I'd hear anything half that funny out of your mouth."

The fox rolls his eyes and grumbles. "Well, I had examples from your mother to draw from. I normally could only see through her seal when she was stressed or angry, but she had quite the mouth in those instances. Mito was such a kind old woman, and then I ended up with that loudmouth? Just my luck, really." He slowly sits up and stretches his back. "Still, she spawned a decent brat, so whatever."

"You know I can take that pillow from you for talking shit about her, right?"

"… Fine, I'll stop there. Just know I didn't have the best opinion of her. She was a terrible warden. Maybe, probably, a good person, but terrible to me."

"… Fair enough." Naruto sighs and steps closer to the bars. "So, you've confirmed the whole Uchiha genjutsu angle now. Not much we can do about that now, especially as weak as I am still." He stops by the bars, close enough to be clawed, and stares up into the fox's titanic eyes. "So what now? Any other big revelations for me?"

"… Hmmm…" The fox lays back down and rests his head on crossed paws. "None at the moment, but I can say you're about ready to start using some of my power. You're short of a tail yet, but I don't see you getting too many drawbacks from half of one. Might burn like hell at first, though."

Naruto raises an eyebrow. "How bad a burn we talkin?"

"Teuchi's experimental Molten Chipotle Ramen running through your veins while Sasuke uses you as a katon practice dummy again."

Naruto shudders and stumbles back. "W-Well then, that'll be a last resort only for now. No wonder that shit popped all my clones instantly…"

The fox snorts. "You humans have such weak constitution. I once had two A rank shinobi crawling around in my innards and attacking from the inside, and I'd still equate it to little more than indigestion for you."

"How the fuck?"

"They were attacking me, and I was hungry."

"Welp!" Naruto throws his arms up and turns to leave. "I've had enough of your twisted ass for now! Nice chat, I'll try and come back sooner next time. Feels like this is getting easier…" As his unconscious thought trails off, he wakes into consciousness in Tazuna's home and finds himself staring at the ceiling. "Huh, just woke up and yet already wide awake." He sits up with one quick forward swing and peeks around to find Sasuke and Sakura muttering to each other in the corner, with Yoko laid across Sakura's lap. "Morning, guys. What I miss?"

Sasuke smirks and pushes himself to his feet. "We were just trading some genjutsu pointers, now that my eyes are up and running."

"Good move." Naruto pulls his covers aside and rolls to his feet. "So, that's one more trick for when MC Butcher and The Cold Shoulder show up. I doubt it's quite enough yet, though…" He hums to himself and scoops Yoko up as she trots over.

Sakura pouts a bit as the kit leaves her lap, but focuses on their strategist's ramblings instead. "What, you have some suggestions to prepare for him?"

"A few. For now though, we have guard duty on the bridge, right?"

Sasuke nods and shoves his hands in his pockets on the way to the door. "Yep. Lemme guess: You wanna recon the most likely battlefield for where to put your traps, right?"

"You read my mind…" Naruto chuckles grimly and pulls a scroll from his hoodie as he pulls it on. "Let's see here, what prototypes should I experiment with against a Jonin?"

Sakura shakes her head at his absurdity, but pauses at the sight of one of them from over his shoulder. "Wait, that one there!"

"Hm?" He pauses and stares at her recommendation for the trap. "Hmm… Warm, wet environment, low visibility, merges well with the jutsu Kakashi's teaching me today…" His grin slowly grows wider by the moment. "Oh hell yes. Ok, I'll catch up with you guys at the bridge soon." He closes the scroll and stocks it away. "I've gotta go collect some materials for this trap, can't be too hard to find them here. I'll be back with it all soon!" He leaps out the window before Sakura can protest enough for him to notice.

"Damnit, Naruto! Ugh…" She slouches in exasperation, but peeks back to Sasuke for a moment. "I'm not telling Kakashi he did something stupid again."

"Hey, you're the one who inspired him to so it."

.

* * *

.

Deep in the densely flowered forests of western Nami no Kuni, a young woman wanders between the trees in her faded pink kimono, her hair out of its usual bun and lowered down her back. Her beauty is stunning, the colorful surroundings complimenting her porcelain skin and earthy eyes. Her basket, swinging at her left side, is half filled with various flowers and herbs, carefully selected for their medicinal properties. Her hunt has gone well, but one more material seems urgent to collect. A bite her adoptive father received at hand of the fox kit of Kanoha Team 7 was infected. Something told her it wasn't poor dental hygiene to blame, but some kind of low-ranking poisonous technique, probably still in training.

Regardless, she had to gather all the supplies necessary to finish Zabuza's recovery as quickly as possible, but always took care to collect more than needed to make excess medicine to stock for later.

But upon leaning down to collect a flower that can be ground and pasted into a numbing agent, she almost headbutts a familiar shinobi in black and orange. She instinctively wants to leap back and throw the senbon she has on hand, but keeps her cool and instead stumbles back in a clumsy, civilian manner. "O-Oh, I'm so sorry! I didn't know anyone else was out here!"

Naruto chuckles and shrugs and he stands, taking a few samples of that flower with him and sealing it away. "Nah, it's cool. I'm kinda sneaky." He tugs his headband with his thumb to point it out. He pauses at the sight of her basket, though. "Quite the collection you've got there. Not the best botanist myself, but it looks like you've got a lot of meds to make."

"O-Oh, yes." She giggles nervously, maintaining a forcibly peppy demeanor for her disguise. "I have someone I care dearly for that's in dire need of these. I don't see any reason we can't both get everything we need from this garden, though…" She peeks around for a moment, keeping the appearance of having a low guard. "Plenty to work with, for whatever the case. Food may be in short supply here, but in many other ways, this land is quite plentiful."

"Don't need to tell me that." Naruto chuckles as he leans back and laces his fingers behind his head. "Got some stinkweed, a few species really rich in capsaicin, a few poisons, some heavily irritating pollens that stick to the inside of your lungs and make breathing itchy…" He laughs maniacally. "So much potential!"

Her smile drops as her mouth falls agape. "That's… just diabolical."

"Oh, I know." He reaches out for a shake. "Name's Uzumaki Naruto, Konoha genin, prankster extraordinaire, and future Hokage."

She raises an eyebrow, but slowly reaches out for a shake, keeping her grip weak as part of her façade. "Call me Haku. Do you really think a publicly recognized prankster can become a Kage?"

"I dunno. Do ya think enemies can become allies?"

Stillness and silence falls. The trees have long since smothered any winds or ambience from the nearby town. Haku's false smile remains up, but she prepares to make use of her senbon at any given moment. "And what brings you to ask that?"

Naruto shrugs and keeps both hands visible. No signs of conflict can show, for now. "No threat. Yoko already sniffed you out before ya saw me and remembered your scent from the last fight…" Said kit pops from the earth at his side and yips up to him. "and I have intel from some of the women Gato's been using that suggests he doesn't plan to pay either of you."

Her eyes narrow as Naruto lays his cards on the table. "Is that so?... So you propose a truce on the grounds of the lack of benefit to us fighting any longer?"

"Yep. Simple as that. If you're willing to take a step further yet, we can topple the imp together and both take a cut from his pockets on the way out, free his slaves, round up his thugs, the works." Naruto knew he had her the moment he mentioned freeing the slaves. Her façade broke for just a moment.

"… I'll hear you out, but I'm not sure if Zabuza will agree."

"Good enough for me."

.

* * *

.

Partway around the island, on the towering unnamed bridge between Nami and Hi, the real Naruto perks up and saunters over from his post to Kakashi. A quick exchange of whispers, and Kakashi creates a clone behind a set of crates beside him, which immediately dashes off into the woods. "Good work, Naruto. Just make sure you get your supplies to Sakura so she can make those concoctions for you, and we should be set."

Naruto shakes his head and looks out to the sea of blonde, black, and orange scrambling about the end of the bridge, carrying supplies, inspecting the underside by walking upside-down, and taking measurements of various parts of the structure. "I have a few other steps in mind, and Tazuna already approved them as long as I use my clones to help with construction and speed things up. Layer this Plan A and Plan B together, and we've got a lot covered, and Plan C can involve all the aspects of A and B rearranged. Be careful how you layer your traps, sensei. You never know what order they'll be tripped in, so make it flexible."

Kakashi hums and tilts his head. "I suppose that's right. Most shinobi are trained to be sure what traps are set in what order by guessing the opponent's logic, while layering obvious traps with less obvious ones. But, you're the expert in this field. Considering the number of pranks you've caught me in, I'd defer to your logic here." He sighs and rubs the back of this neck. "Traps have never been quite my forte. Always much more of an infiltration, assassination, and direct combat type."

"Those are the most important fields in the entire shinobi force, though." Naruto shrugs. "Nothing wrong with it, and nobody can know everything. I'm a supposed 'trap expert', yet I'm still constantly running into new questions and spending weeks looking for answers."

Kakashi chuckles and leans forwards and off the crate stack, slowly walking off with his hands deep in his pockets. "Truer words, Naruto. Keep it up, and just be sure to warn us about whatever traps you have set up here."

Naruto soon starts to chuckle as Kakashi walks away, his clones joining in one by one until it becomes a chorus of maniacal laughter. His entire team trembles at the thought of what perversions of logic and twisted weaponry the young blonde is preparing. Tazuna can only grin and laugh along with them as he swings too and fro in a drunken stupor. "Keep working, brats! We're making incredible time!"

.

* * *

.

Iruka wanders through the village, now in the civilian garb of a sand-colored vest and pants with a white shirt that has Naruto's Uzumaki Clan symbol in blue on it, in a sort of multi-shaded tie-dye pattern. He'd taken to that symbol all too willingly, recalling how much he looked up to Kushina as sort of his nee-san. To now have adopted Naruto, he truly felt he may as well be a member of the clan. Now, ludicrous amounts of chakra he may not have, but he does share one common aspect of the clan, so it's not too far-fetched.

He stumbles to a halt at the sight of a young lad curled up in a crate at the curb of nearly empty lot. All that remains there is ash and blackened beams. The stucco walls had crumbled in the flames and left no wall standing. Little does he know, the scrawny raven-haired child in the crate is the very same Sasuke had defended a few days prior. He's accumulated a few things in his crate since. He's gotten a small rug along the bottom, and a blanket to wrap himself in to keep warm in the night. A tarp overtop it blocks out the occasional rain, keeping his temporary home dry. He's clearly a resilient young lad, valuable in his position and in this shinobi-run world.

The moment Iruka catches sight of the boy, he knows just what to do. He can't take him in himself, not enough room at home, and not financially stable enough for another mouth to feed. But, he knows someone who can and would. Two old friends of his happen to be looking to have a kid of their own, but… neither one is able to handle an infant, and one's injuries from her career have prevented her from ever bearing children. Adopting this young lad would be the perfect solution. "Yugao, Hayate… You two are gonna owe me for this one." He chuckles and walks up to the crate with a smile, kneeling down to check on the now cowering young boy. "Everything's alright. I'm not here to hurt you. If you're willing to let me, I'd actually like to help you."

The boy slowly peeks up to him through his overgrown hair, his green eyes faded and unfocused. "W... W-Why?"

Iruka chuckles as he drops down to sit in front of the crate. "Because I've been where you are. No friends to rely on, no family left, no home to return to. It happened when I was a bit older than you, though." He looks to the day's cloudy sky, reminiscing on those almost soul-crushing days. "Nobody deserves to be left like that. I know people here in this village are struggling to support themselves, you won't find a stable family here. But you will in Konoha, and you'll be safe there. So what do ya say?" He reaches out to take the boy's hand. Will you come with me?"

Silence falls as the gentle ocean breeze blows between them. The young one is conflicted, unsure if he can trust a complete stranger after another had burned his home down, and others had harmed him, but… that will to survive, and the faintest glimmer of hope, pushes him to reach out-

"Oy, away from the brat." The boy withdraws into his crate as a small crew of thugs arrives at Iruka's back. Two of them are hefting iron clubs over their shoulders, with the third carrying an unwieldy- too much so to be intimidating- odachi. Iruka doesn't even need to look to know none of them are professionals. He could hear them coming from the other end of the block, and instantly knew they'd be a problem.

Despite the danger the boy perceives, he's stunned into silence by the patient smile on Iruka's face. The teacher, far from his office as he is, maintains a professional air about him when dealing with unruly brats. These thugs certainly aren't matured enough to be considered adults.

He slowly turns to look over his shoulder at them, arms crossed and eternally casual. "Can't you three see I'm in the middle of a conversation here? I know you're hired thugs, but you should have a bit more respect than that." Just as the first thug swings his club down, Iruka rolls out of the way and upside-down before pushing off the ground and thrusting a skyward kick into the offending fool's nose. He stumbles back in pain and drops his weapon, which Iruka picks up with chakra adhesion on his foot and slings into the second man's gut. The third stares Iruka dead in the eye for a moment before swinging his odachi down with a wild, curving, vertical swing. The scarred shinobi redirects the blade with a single backhanded kunai, then stabs them in the bicep to ruin their muscle control and make them drop the blade. He screams out as the blade clatters to the dirt road, only to be silenced with a swift leaping knee to the jaw, clacking his teeth together and rattling his skull out of consciousness. "There. Now go home and think about what you've done."

.

* * *

.

Traditional clan compounds of Konoha are old and formal architecture. Barely polished wood panels, clay shingles, white stucco, and a generous length of porches acting as outdoor hallways. The Hyuuga compound is also full of and surrounded by cobbled walls, zen gardens with Edo styled bridges over private koi ponds, and sakura trees scattered throughout. Traditional, clean, pristine, and prestigious.

But one room even the greatest of guests- short of the Hokage- never get to see.

The council chamber is hidden within what appears to be one of the larger residential compounds, just a tad smaller than the ruling family's compound. The entrance cannot be found by regular means, as a seal-enforced genjutsu is placed over it, which only a byakugan or sharingan user would be able to naturally see through.

Inside the chamber, three rising tiers of seats are filled with the elderly and valuable of the clan, their aged and judgmental eyes staring down the clan head currently kneeling before them all. Hiashi could count on being called to this chamber at least once a week, bare minimum. This particular meeting was far from scheduled, but he knew all too well what it must be concerning.

"Hiashi…" One of the oldest and most confident elders speaks with a raspy tone, but his voice has remained as deep as in his prime. "Your daughter has shown flagrant disrespect for the clan's arts. Not only has she completely ignored our sacred Jyuuken style, but she's been training in elemental manipulation. Our clan is founded upon the use of raw chakra. Anything less is disgraceful."

"Not only this…" A woman ten seat to his left and one down speaks up with a nasal whine. "She's injured her sparring partners with these elemental techniques and disrupted the peace and tranquility of our gardens with her training."

"What have you to say for your offspring, Hiashi?" Worthless words coming from Hiashi's own father, who watched one of his children die without a care in the world and speaking of his own granddaughter as nothing but a nuisance. Hiashi had lost all love for the man many years ago, long before being wed to his late wife, but now, there was even contempt rising from the emotionless pit between them.

His reply would have to be absolute. A combination of offense to drive their threats back and defense to prevent any further.

"… My words for her are for her ears and mine alone, council. As for what I have to say for you, it is not quite as kind." He narrows his eyes, almost activating his Byakugan, but stopping just short of it. To turn it on and prove the loss of his temper would be disastrous, but to stop short and prove anger and control in equal measure is a powerful deterrent. "We are indeed a powerful and noble clan, but that does not deny us what we are founded upon, and what the greatest of us were and are: shinobi. And a shinobi is what my daughter is now proving herself. To be one is to be injured and keep fighting, to adapt against adversity and around or through whatever stands against you. At first, I must admit, I agreed with you all, that my daughter was weak and not fit to lead this clan or act as a shinobi."

He sighs deeply and closes his eyes for just a moment, proving shame for the briefest of moments, only to insist that they too should feel the same. Only when he knows it's sunk in does he open his eyes and stare into theirs, one after another in quick precession. "At first. Now, I see I, and all of you, were far from correct. My daughter has now found her strengths and adapted to shinobi life in her own way. If you were to directly observe her instead of following the word of spiteful members of the main house who despise her growth, you would see that her style adapts the Jyuuken into something analogous but casting aside the rigid and constricting stances for something more fluid. Looking into our archives, into the branches of styles once used by this clan until we became so puritan, there was a form known as the Ame no Jyuuken. She has adapted this very form and recreated it through sheer determination to succeed." His eyes narrow into silver daggers upon his father's eyes. "I do believe mother was one of the last to use this style, if you may recall."

Knowing he's nearly sealed his argument, he stands, refusing to kneel before the elder council with his final statement. "You may have already counted Hinata out as my successor and heir to the clan, and I may have been close to following suit once before, but as the issue stands now, she is more fit to become our clan head than any of you will ever agree upon. Do not forget that I alone am head of this clan, and my word is final, no matter the sway you may have. She will remain the heiress as of now, and if any acts are taken to impede her progress, there will be consequences, no matter your rank, for the sake of our clan's future." He doesn't need to activate his Byakugan against them to know by their expressions that many wish to speak out. It's for this reason that he finally tips over the edge into open rebellion, activating his Byakugan and inflicting as powerful of a killing intent as he can muster. "And for those of you who choose to vote against this ruling, know that should you be the minority, there will be dire consequences for your transgressions."

The silence of the chamber is consumed by seething rage and shock as Hiashi marches out of the chamber. His eyes shut off just as he leaves the room, recomposing himself in time to witness the subject of this latest argument in the midst of her training.

Hinata sits in the center of the nearest koi pond, not on a stone, bridge, or island, but on the water, meditating as the water ripples outwards in time with her heartbeat. It's not entirely still otherwise, as her own movements- from involuntary twitches to breathing- interrupt it, but the scene is tranquil, nonetheless. Surrounding her are dozens of leaves scattered about and cut in half, floating upon the water and slowly pushed by each ripple, closer and closer to the edge.


	14. Secret Weapons

Pulleys, hinges, levers, tripwires, and pressure plates. As a habitual and rampant prankster, Naruto had come to see the entire world as his playground of tiny mechanisms to take advantage of. If a store that overcharged him had a hanging sign out front, he saw the sign as the perfect opportunity to rig up a discrete itching powder dispenser that used the shaking caused by people passing underneath to disperse tiny amounts of its contents every time someone enters the store. If the teachers at the academy intentionally screwed up one of his lessons, he would use their desk drawers as a pressure switch to unleash a blast of whatever noxious concoction he could get his hands on. Lesser infractions incurred paint bombs or glitter.

And then he learned he could make a living off this talent.

It opened his eyes to a whole new reality and made him see the world as not just harmless pranks- but a mechanic to harm someone with some unfortunate circumstance at any given moment. Any location, any physical mechanic built into the surroundings, could be used to rig up one of his beautiful machinations of pain and humiliation. It was a challenge to find the right trap for any circumstance, to handle any opponent.

This bridge is his greatest challenge yet.

Architecturally, it's sound, it's solid, and free of the many vices that could leave it open to his trickery. Naruto's many machinations require moving parts, closed spaces, or loose soil. None of that is here, no place to hide his toys, no naturally existing mechanisms to take advantage of as a part of his strategy, and no natural landmarks to reshape and process into a usable form. A blank slate upon which he can only build, but building anything upon it would be all too obvious.

How does one turn an immovable blank slate into a successful trap?

Even Kakashi was dubious on the possibility of it in such a space, at least for the first few hours. They all knew the battle would have to take place here, it was the perfect arena in which their opponents would have an overwhelming elemental advantage. It's also somewhere they would all be required to be as a part of their mission and efforts to complete the bridge and free this country from Gato's grasp. It had to be here, and so, they had to find some way to even the odds against Zabuza and his partner. But could they?

Kakashi's answer came in the form of more and more of Naruto's teeth showing as his grin widens and his clones scattered across the bridge begin to laugh maniacally for the third time that day.

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* * *

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Yamanaka Ino tends to be underestimated. In more practical shinobi arts, she's certainly subpar, but more advanced and specified arts are more her specialty. When it came to information, none in her generation were nearly as capable as Ino. Her ability to psychologically profile someone within minutes is almost unnatural. Her talent for gossip allows her to gather information from all corners of the village and then compare and contrast varying conflicting rumors, then confirm it through rigorous research. Of course, very few would expect that her close contact with the Anbu and T&I division through her father was one of her most valuable resources, despite her lack of clearance.

She's always been smarter than most gave her credit for between her bouts of fangirlism-induced madness, and her recent research has become some of the most critical proof of that fact.

But what really shocked the clan was one trick in particular she began researching with a dose of help from one of their brother clans, the Akamichi. Those pills are far from a secret for the active shinobi of the Yamanaka clan, but to think someone would dare to produce a less dangerous alternative through their botanical knowledge and the addition of chakra conducting and containing roots of the Senju clan's trees is incredible. Not only has it improved the quality of the Akamichi's pills, with the Hokage's permission to access the roots oft cast aside when Senju trees are cut, but given Ino the component needed to test the next great step in her revolution of her family's jutsu.

She stands at her father's office door, going over her questions and demands thrice more, and with a final burst of confidence, she knocks and call out. "Daddy! I have a few questions regarding my jutsu experiments."

Slowly, the office door opens, and Inoichi stares down at his daughter with scrutinizing eyes. He knew she had approached, and how long she had been standing there. Obviously, she was about to ask for some potentially critical and dangerous information. It wouldn't be the first time.

"… Very well, then. Come right in, princess." He sets the door aside and waves her in, then upon closing it, triggers his silencing seals and returns to his seat. "So, what exactly is it you're working on? I was impressed enough with your new chakra pills, but I suppose that was just step one of your plan, wasn't it?"

She grins almost cockily. "As usual, you don't need our jutsu to read my mind, daddy. Yep, I'm workin on something big." She pulls a scroll from her pocket and slowly unfurls it. "Our clan doesn't really use clones, for the obvious reason of our lack of enough chakra to really take advantage of them. But I noticed something contradicting that in our clan's history." She peeks up from her scroll. "Great grandpa Isao helped the Nidaime make the Kage Bunshin. He provided the necessary components to add their cognitive and recollective ability. He made the Kage Bunshin the ultimate tool for safely collecting intel and providing clones capable of using every skill the original knows."

Inoichi's brow furls. He knew all too well that his grandfather has done this, but he'd never thought much of it. He had aided a Kage, one known to be a grand genius, just as the two that followed him, but… how much had Isao actually provided, and how much of it could be used for their own jutsu? Isao's death was under unknown circumstances. He died young, in combat in the first war, using a technique that none could identify. Could that be...?

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* * *

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Having breakfast at Tazuna's on the seventh day, one would expect things to be slow and tense. They know Zabuza is most likely to arrive today, and Gato is getting impatient. There's a drastic fight ahead of them, and very little they can do to avoid it.

Instead, their newest arrival, a young boy named Hideki whom Sasuke and Iruka had both rescued, is eagerly chatting away between everyone as he digs into his first real meal in weeks. He rants and rambles about how cool he thinks Sasuke's team and Iruka are, though never commenting on Kakashi, as the man had done nothing in his presence yet. He still has rice stuck to his face as he speaks more with his body than with words, flailing about and trying to mimic everyone's techniques. Of course, both Iruka and Kakashi pick up on signs of the boy already having some impressive physical conditioning, possibly caused by the local poverty and necessity for survival.

His future in Konoha would be bright.

"-and then you-!"

"Ok, that's enough." Sasuke grabs the boy's ankle as he nearly gets kicked in the jaw. Despite his annoyance, he can't help but appreciate how much the boy admires their work. "You're gonna break something at this rate." He releases the boy's foot, and he pouts and drops back into his seat. "Besides, we can be so much cooler than that. We'll have to show you sometime, but there'll be better days for that ahead. Today, we need to finish our mission, and you need to stay here and safe in the meantime."

"H-Hey!" he jumps back from his seat and tries to tower over the seated genin. "Why can't I come? You guys protected me before, why can't you protect me today?"

Naruto ruffles his hair as he stands. "Because the guys we're up against are as tough as us, and we already have to protect Tazuna. We can't protect you both at the battlefield, so you stay here and wait for us to get back, ok?" On his way to the door, he peeks out the window to his left and sees Jiraiya seated in a tree, watching over the house. His skills would be wasted on this bridge today, but he's more than welcome here watching over Tazuna's family and Hideki. Chances of Gato throwing a few thugs their way are pretty likely, of course. But, just in case… "And whatever you do, stay inside. I'll be rigging all the entrances and exits with some of my traps, but staying inside won't trip any of them. I'll disarm them all when we get back."

"Wait.." Nami stumbles towards the door. "What?" Just as she gets there, the door shuts, and a series of seals trigger that lock it up as tight as the Hokage's vault. She rattles the handle a few times, but the glowing seals upon the door gravitate towards the seals tagged onto the doorframe and prevent any more than a millimeter's shift under her meager strength. This seal impacts both the inside and outside of the door, but the seals Naruto then tags the outside with are prepared for anyone who attempts to break in before his return.

Naruto shrugs and turns to walk off without a word, hands deep in his pockets. Tazuna looks between the genin and the door frantically. "A-Are you sure that's a good idea? Like, those aren't gonna blow up like your seals yesterday, right?!"

"Those were designed to blow up. Unless I took that last batch out of the wrong pocket, those ones are designed to stab." He pauses and tilts his head skyward. ".. Was that the left or right jacket pocket?"

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* * *

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Sarutobi Hiruzen sits at the back of his office, chair swiveled away to take in the ever-enchanting view of the village from his many windows. He'd been the second-longest standing Kage of all time, and it still hadn't gotten old. He'd watched this village grow from it's early days, helped it rise to its current greatness. How many of these buildings had he commissioned? How much larger had this place grown under his watchful eyes and guiding hand? If anything, this would be the one thing his dear departed sensei would be most proud of him for. How much this village has grown and prospered under his rule.

But the greater a tree grows, the more at risk it is of parasites and infections.

Hiruzen grumbles to himself and fiddles with his pipe. Danzo… He's been eerily silent. The man used to hound him constantly for militaristic legislature, or insisting on training shinobi in the morally vacant arts at younger ages. Now he only ever saw the fool either during council meetings or on his rare excursion to his favorite public park to sit beneath the village's oldest sakura tree.

Too silent. The man may be old, but they were same damn age, and Hiruzen would be damned if his workaholic rival had let himself decay into retirement while he had the hat. ROOT still had to be operating, but he was keeping it more covert than ever. ROOT operations in Konoha had gone entirely unspotted for quite some time. No identifiable recruitments, no unauthorized bases uncovered, and no operatives caught in four years. So how was he doing it?

Largely foreign operations? Likely; Eliminating foreign "threats" pre-emptively was always his MO, no matter their innocence.

Bases set outside of Konoha? Maybe some, but not central. He values the village too highly for that. Only other possibility then is he's found a concealment method that his own Anbu lack a workaround for just yet.

Recruit through foreign bases. Collect selected shinobi from high-risk missions, report all units dead. Settle deals with orphanages outside his jurisdiction. Always keep about a third of his forces on hand at home at all times, the rest scattered in foreign bases to receive missions and warn of potential offending parties. Easy for them to run interference while retreating in the event of an unforeseen large attack force. Efficient, inconspicuous if done right, and very difficult to pin down, especially since his bases always have self-destruct protocols that go off with a hair trigger. He always has contingencies for contingencies, traps over-

His head bolts upright as the Will of Fire sparks brilliance.

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* * *

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Right on cue. Kakashi saunters to the lead of the pack as they approach the bridge, finding cut and bloodstained bodies scattered about the supply stations on their end of the bridge. All brilliantly executed and in the middle of menial labor. Left open to assault with their hands occupied. Textbook, but in such mass at once and at such speed is certainly the work of an expert.

No sense in holding back. He raises his headband and his sharingan spins freely.

"Alright, kids. You know the drill. Defend our man at all costs and pull no punches. Our opponents are true professionals, and they will not hesitate to kill us at any moment." He grumbles as a thin mist develops, approaching the bridge, but leaving most visibility intact for now. "He's taunting us…"

Naruto chuckles and throws his arms behind his head. "Well, if someone taunts you, taunt in kind." He walks right onto the bridge and calls out without a care. "Oy, Captain Steaknife, did ya use that thing to skin the cow ya used for those obnoxious legwarmers? They make my buddy Lee's bright orange ones look good!"

A bark of laughter far across the bridge in thicker fog is followed by the fog slowly thinning to reveal five figures standing across the bridge. At the center of the troop is the great Momochi Zabuza, blade across his shoulders as stares a hole into the back of the second man's head.

Said dead man is none other than the subject of much of Naruto's intel, Rokusho Aoi. His attire, since leaving Konoha, has been modified into a relatively standard Ame skin-tight wetsuit, but sleeveless and faded blue. Upon his back is an upturned umbrella, but much more interesting is the bladeless pommel in his hand. Kakashi's eyes narrow on the blade as lightning sparks between his fingers for just a fraction of a second. Aoi is grinning cluelessly. "Good one, kid! I like your style."

"I'd say the same about you, but your head looks like someone put seaweed through a trash compactor to make a kindergarten theater wig."

Aoi's face contorts with disgust and rage, only to lose that disgust in place of more rage as the two remaining henchmen break into helpless laughter. These two are of course the returning Demon Twins, their chained gauntlet at the ready once more and prepared to rend their foes asunder… as soon as they can pick themselves off the floor. Behind them all, even Zabuza is chuckling and grinning like a madman, despite remaining alert. His masked companion Haku to the rear left is thus far silent.

Zabuza sighs in relief and places his free hand on his hip, shaking his head. "Oh, I needed that one. Thanks, brat. Now, which one of you wants to die first?"

"I'll take them myself." Aoi grunts and steps forwards with a growl, as raw lightning chakra begins to pour from the Raijin no Ken in his right hand.

Kakashi nods and waves forward from his left. "Sasuke, you've got this one." The last loyal Uchiha nods and steps forth without a word.

Aoi snorts and puts on his usual cocky grin. "What? I already said I'd kill all of you myself. You really wanna send this boy to the slaughter on his own?"

Sasuke rolls his neck and smirks. "I'm all we need to take you out. Just try me."

Aoi's smile fades as he narrows a glare Sasuke's way. "Fine… it's your funeral."

Haku leans towards Zabuza and whispers to him. "Uh… aren't we going to divvy up the rest of them and start fighting?"

Zabuza waves her off. "No, no, I wanna see this. I've been waiting _so_ goddamn long to watch this obnoxious son of a bitch die."

Aoi grits his teeth and growls, reaching for the umbrella on his back. "That's it! Everyone dies!" He throws the umbrella skywards and it hovers in the air. While suspended, he shifts through a series of handsigns and grins maliciously. "Jouro Senbon!" The umbrella begins to spin rapidly, unleashing a salvo of senbon in all directions and littering the bridge with them. Nowhere is safe, save for the wall of ice Haku raises to defend herself and Zabuza.

The Demon Brothers both scramble to escape this sudden bout of friendly fire, but end up running in opposite directions and pulling at their already wounded arms, leaving them in prime locations to receive a few dozen senbon each and slump over against the ice wall as the poison coated on the needles sinks in. One calls out from the wall, immobilized and slurring. "You fffuckin' asshole! You better have a fuckin' antidote!"

Aoi chuckles and shakes his head. "Sorry, you're not worth wasting it on. You two outlived your usefulness anyway." Turning back to the Konoha troop he fully expects to be dead, he instead finds a wall of dried mud that caught every senbon flung in their direction. "You've gotta be shitting me."

"We're not."

Aoi just barely ducks to his right in time to avoid a horizontal swipe of Sasuke's own blade, a chokuto with a black and crimson laced tsuka. Looking over his shoulder, he finds the veins in Sasuke's eyes starting to part and seep blood into his onyx irises.

He vaults backwards and draws Raijin no Ken from his belt, swinging into Sasuke's blade and fully expecting the boy to attempt to block with it. Sasuke instead attempts to dodge beneath the blade, seeing the fault in blocking a blade made of pure lightning chakra, but he fails to sweep his blade low enough in time. A powerful shock courses through him, ripping a scream from the genin's throat as he nearly drops off his feet. Seeing an opening to strike, Aoi thrusts his foot into Sasuke's gut and sends him tumbling back across the bridge. "Are you really stupid enough to cross blades with me?!"

Sasuke grunts as he stumbles to his feet, then sheathes his blade at his back. "… You're right. I wanted to test myself in front of one of the Seven Swordsmen, but my blade's just a liability here…" He shifts into his standard combat stance and narrows his eyes. His sharingan is now developed to it's incomplete state, but more than enough to provide the boost he needs. "But I don't need it to kill you."

"Fine then!" He spreads his arms and leaves himself wide open. "Come at me, then!"

Sasuke takes one slow step forward- then streaks forwards with a burst of chakra from his foot, passing by the man's left. Aoi sees this coming and moves to block with his stolen blade, but Sasuke remains just out of its range. He skids to a stop behind Aoi, and despite the mild whiplash he's certain he'll receive, he bolts towards the man's back- aiming for the left still where he'll least expect it. He was right on the money, and gets one good jab in with his Mahiken, stunning the foolish wannabe swordsman and obliterating his guard. "W-What?!"

Sasuke smirks as he lands three more blows with Mahiken in quick succession, and just as Ao manages to power through and swing the Raijin no Ken regardless, he supercharges his Mahiken for just a moment to smack the blade aside with minimal stunning to himself and gets a solid jab to Aoi's right elbow.

Down goes the Raijin no Ken.

Kakashi grins beneath his mask. "And here it comes."

Mahiken is a versatile and powerful skill, but far from the lethal tool of a shinobi. It can debilitate an opponent with ease, but dealing actual damage is something else entirely. Exactly why Sasuke chose to create this next addition to his arsenal.

As the shining blue sparks of electricity in his hands die out, an entirely different spark lights as his hands are shrouded in flame. "Meoruken!" (Burning Fist)

Each following blow in Sasuke's constant flurry lands with searing heat, cooking his flesh and setting the man's clothes ablaze. As Aoi stumbles back from each blow as second degree burns pile up across him, some on the verge of third, he leaves his guard open enough for Sasuke to grab his headband and channel fire chakra into it. This burns the Ame headband onto his forehead and leaves him screaming in agony- just before Sasuke kicks up the Raijin no Ken and catches it. His natural lightning affinity produces a longer blade, which cleaves clean through Aoi's neck and cuts his screams short.

Sasuke scoffs and wipes a few sparse specks of blood from his face as the body drops. "I guess I should seal that head for the bounty, shouldn't I?"

Kakashi nods and tosses the boy a scroll. "Go right ahead."

Off to the side, Zabuza starts a slow clap. "Excellent work, kid. Nice to see that self-important prick get what was comin' to 'em. I'd say you earned that blade…" He slowly starts to grin beneath his mask. "But let's see if you've got what it takes to survive _m-_ "

The entire population of the bridge is silenced as the entire end section of the bridge Zabuza stands on splits in half and folds like a book onto him, slamming shut with incredible speed. Naruto watches his handiwork from atop the mud wall with a grin. Axis placed in the bridge itself during construction two days ago, with two very large weights provided by Tazuna's stocks of raw steel beams marked with gravity seals as the counterweights to force the whole thing to close on itself and crush anyone between the two halves in one swift move-

But it halts short of crushing them as Zabuza wedges them apart with Kubikiriboucho, hanging from his blade's tsuka with a blank, unamused glare. Haku is nowhere to be seen. "… Alright, I'm impressed, brat. But now you've gotta die."


	15. Double-Tapped

Uzumaki Naruto is stunned into silence. Half a week of work on a single, brilliant trap. It's both the simplest and most complex design he's ever made, and the largest scale lethal effect he's ever produced. A true masterpiece that he pulled out of his ass.

And now, right before him, it stands sprung, yet ineffective. A single man no-sold his trap and now hangs from his sword with one arm in the kill zone without so much as a scratch, let alone the fatally crushed body he was banking on.

In most cases of his traps being duds, Naruto would be enraged. He'd pull the whole thing apart and berate the trap itself before berating himself for its faults and making something twice as effective.

In this case, all that can be found on Naruto's face is abject horror.

He stammers aimlessly and silently as his greatest trump card to date is proven a complete waste. It's a shame, really, to learn such a drastic lesson about shinobi life during such a critical mission.

You never open with your trump card.

"So…" Zabuza grumbles as he hangs there loosely. "Let's try this again."

Suddenly, the weight seals underneath the bridge break their chains and fall to the sea, and the two folded slabs fall back into place. Zabuza stands to the left of the split and rolls his shoulder. "Lesson one, kiddies. Learn to focus on multiple opponents at once."

Haku appears behind Sasuke and swings a backhanded kunai into his jugular- only to hit nothing as the genjutsu fades. She suspects as much, and the moment her toe touches the ground, she pulses chakra into it and leaps from the bridge and twenty feet into the air, clean over the fireball that nearly torches her from behind. She wheels around in the air and throws a scattering of senbon towards the fireball's origins, before falling off the bridge and into the water, where she simply disappears.

The incoming senbon are handled with a quick Mud Wall thanks to Naruto and replied to via Sakura casting another genjutsu that causes her and Tazuna to split into multiple faded images sent in separate directions. Somehow, every one of them was audible, despite being a genjutsu. They scatter to the far end of the bridge, but two are quickly intercepted by Haku leaping back onto the bridge and stabbing them both with a pair of kunai. As she suspected, they both disappear- but not by fading. They burst into smoke. "Damn…" She backs away and off the bridge again before running along the underside-

Only to find Sasuke intercepting her there. He runs upside-down and full-sprint, wielding his sword backhanded and aimed forth to stab with his arm crossing over his chest defensively. She barely ducks back from his first swing, arching back to plant her hands on the bridge and freeze one in place to hang there. She uses her free hand to produce an ice shield against the next swing, then dislodges herself and drops straight into the water and out of sight in a pencil dive.

Up on top of the bridge, Zabuza's water clones scatter and chase down the other clones while Haku is occupied. One by one, the water clones track down pairs of Sakura and Tazuna.

The first tracks his pair into the woods just past the bridge. That clone manages to just barely catch sight of them before a series of exploding tags buried just beneath the dirt goes off. The damage is enough to kill the clone instantly, but it's conscious long enough to see the pair it chased laugh at his demise and pop into plumes of smoke.

The second clone finds its prey huddled between two massive stacks of I-beams prepared for the bridge's construction. His attempts are quickly halted by a pair of seals tucked into two of the beams attracting them to each other and crushing him between them.

Three and four split up at a fork where two pairs of clones had separated. The water clone to the left steps on a cluster of exploding tags and splashes the surrounding forestry. The explosion manages to distract the clone that turned left just long enough to take a blow to the back of the head. He's reduced to a puddle with that one unseen strike.

Sakura sighs in relief and flicks the water off her kunai. "Damn good thing Naruto's clones can act so much like us. That spy training is scary flexible."

Tazuna grumbles and huffs, hunched over and wondering if he'll manage to catch his breath before he hurls. He can't recall having ever run that fast in his life, but mortal fear can motivate you to do some crazy things. "Are you sure there aren't more?"

She nods and casts a few layers of genjutsu to mask their location. "Yeah, I'm sure. He wouldn't make an unnecessary number of them, and he's really full of himself. That, and solid clones are expensive, no matter what kind they are."

"Wait, but…" He peeks up to her with haunted eyes. "How the hell does Naruto make so many?"

".. He's… a special case. He has more chakra than anyone I know, and he knows how to throw it around. He's wasteful, but he's getting better, and smarter." She grins. "He'll never be as smart as me, but his mind is a terrifying place, and nobody can top his unique brand of madness."

Back on the bridge, Naruto's blowing through handsigns as Zabuza approaches and billows mist like a steam engine on a warpath. The mist overtakes him halfway to Naruto, completely shrouding him, but Naruto finishes his signs on Hitsuji just as he's done inhaling. He screams out alongside a pressurized air wave. "ATSUGAI!" The solid blast of wind batters and scatters the mist, but there's no sign of Zabuza. Naruto takes a moment to peek out his surroundings, but his eyes widen as he turns around-

Thankfully, Kakashi's standing there to intercept Zabuza's blade with two kunai. The cyclops snorts and pushes the assassin back. "You're still weak from our last fight. All the blast damage must have almost ruined your right arm, didn't it?" Naruto scurried away and out of sight while Kakashi keeps Zabuza occupied.

Haku returns to the top of the bridge and rushes to Zabuza's aid, but Sasuke rushes into her path with his hands sparking. She ducks under his first swing and only feels the mild tingle of static before channeling ice into her arms and blocking the following elbow with her encased hand. Sasuke scoffs and pushes her off, tracking her movements with his two-tomoe eyes. At this point, he's developed chakra vision, and can easily tell that elemental chakra is being channeled into the ice. For it to resist his lightning, it must be composed of wind as well as water. Under that logic, they're at a stalement in taijutsu. His Mahiken and Meoruken are both cut off by one of her two elements, ensuring a stalemate in their jutsu in all cases. Hot against cold in equal power. Their combat styles couldn't be farther from each other, but they're almost equal- if not for the sudden stabbing pain Sasuke feels in his right shoulder when she jabs out. He blocked the jab, but she'd thrown a senbon at the same time. His right arm's mobility is cut down considerably. That gives her more than enough openings to slip in another on his right bicep. He attempts to block the third with his left arm, but he overextends and receives a senbon in his left elbow. Each strike and stab reduces his defenses and speed enough for her to soon stick his leg and back up to cast her favorite jutsu. The water scattered across the bridge by the mist's condensation and popped water clones converges and rises to form a dome of mirrors. She Produces one directly behind herself first and sinks into it in time to avoid a kunai Sasuke had thrown in desperation to interrupt her technique. It bounces harmlessly off the ice as several other mirrors form to surround Sasuke, locking him within the glacial cage. Though the bars are wide, he'll soon find it impossible to escape.

Zabuza growls and pushes Kakashi with all the strength he can muster, forcing him to shift one leg and adjust his stance to lean into Zabuza. This gives him an opening for a leg sweep, but Kakashi leaps over it. This allows him to slam Kakashi down with his blade, but he lands in a crouch and holds the blade up long enough to slip under it and off to his left, getting out from under the blade while Zabuza's balance is off. He attempts a sweep on the one leg Zabuza now stands on, but Zabuza stabs the ground and pulls himself away from Kakashi's range before cleaving a chunk of the bridge's surface off as he rips the blade up and swings it overhead onto Kakashi's outstretched leg. Kakashi spins his leg out of the way and crouches onto that foot before launching himself sideways along the flat of the blade and slashing at Zabuza's side. He attempts to sidestep the kunai, but takes a long and shallow cut along his right shoulder and some of his back. He ignores the pain and swings a 240 degree cleave as Kakashi lands behind him. Kakashi manages to leap past the blade's range, turning and skidding to face Zabuza before shifting through handsigns and raising a Mud Wall of his own. Zabuza growls and charges to get over the wall, but manages to instead land on a line of wire suspended an inch above the top of the wall, nearly imperceptible in these dimly lit conditions.

But Kakashi's sharingan could see it clear as day and knew Zabuza's best retreat route would be covered.

Two separate seals on opposite pillars noting the entrance of the bridge trigger at once. Both rapidly unseal a flurry of kunai that flank Zabuza from both sides and approach at the same speed Naruto would have thrown them. Of course, the spread is too small and they're far too slow to catch him, so he leaps off the wall unhindered-

Only to hear the distinct popping of a dropped henge behind him. His eyes go bloodshot as he peeks back to find the kunai becoming more of Naruto's clones and unleashing their own salvos of kunai. All the while, Kakashi is charging his own favorite jutsu twenty feet in front of Zabuza. Blue lightning sparks in his right hand and trails along the ground beneath him, arcing in random directions and spreading out to burn spastic patterns into the stone.

Sasuke ducks and weaves away from senbon salvo thrown so quickly even his sharingan has trouble perceiving them. He's at least managed to start working out a pattern in Haku's movements between mirrors, as her potential paths are limited and set. This allows him to predict her movements somewhat and avoid most attacks, but his body can't keep up with his eyes. The senbon piercing him continue to stack. The wounds aren't too bad, but the culmination is becoming debilitating. She's landing hits faster and more successively the longer this drags on. So far, attempting to attack the mirrors have proven useless, as once again, the combined water and wind chakra in this ice counteracts him flawlessly. "Damnit, dobe…" He ducks away from another set aimed at his face, but a senbon hidden in the shadow of another targets his left foot and pierces through to his sandals. He cringes and pulls that senbon free before leaping away from the next salvo. He's careful to only remove those that would debilitate him too much to salvage the fight, but at this rate, he knows he can't handle her on his own. "Get your ass in gear and find me a way out of this…"

No sooner than he says this does an explosion go off on the far end of the mirror cage. Although the mirror survives the blast, it does crack significantly and disconnect from the pattern of the structure, leaving a wider gap and a hole in the bridge beneath it. Sasuke rushes in to duck into the hole, but he knows she'll be on his tail. He leaps and spins as he breathes out a fireball, creating a burning barrier between himself and Haku. She'll be forced to either attempt passing through the flames to attack or lose him entirely.

She chooses option C and throws a volley of senbon through the fire. When it clears, she sees Sasuke kneeling with his back turned, senbon littering his legs. She approaches for a finishing blow, but he fades from sight and leaves an exploding tag underfoot. She barely backs away into the furthest mirror fast enough to escape being dismembered.

Zabuza swings his blade backwards and produces a concussive blast of air strong enough to deter Naruto's kunai before landing blade-first and doing a handstand on the pommel. As Kakashi leaps up to run Raikiri through him, Zabuza swings down and hides behind his blade, then runs through one-handed signs, ending on Mi, before ripping his blade from the bridge. Water condenses around the blade and fires off in a razor-thin arc. Kakashi rolls forwards in the air until he's upside-down and facing the water blade. His Raikiri cuts it in half and disrupts the jutsu, but the remainder of it blasts past him and cuts through Naruto's clones, save for six who'd been tucked behind Kakashi.

Once Kakashi lands, he bolts back in and swings at Zabuza's blade just as he swings in to cleave off the scarecrow's head. Zabuza realizes his mistake instantly and uses a burst of chakra at his feet to leap back, but Raikiri sends a shock down his blade and through his arm at the last moment.

Zabuza rapidly backs away with his right hand barely holding onto his sword. He knows well enough that one jutsu can be the turning point of any battle, but he's rarely been on the receiving end of that. He's killed a fair share of jounin, but challenged very few elites.

First time since leaving Kiri that he's had a real challenge.

But then there's the brat.

While Zabuza backs away towards more of the construction supplies on the unfinished end of the bridge, his ears pick up a collection of footsteps between the beams and crates of powdered concrete. The problem is, he can't tell how many. Even the best assassin's ears can't pick out a number from the staccato of a crowd they can't see.

The numbers hardly matter, though. As he runs chakra through his arm to soothe the numbing and spasms, he converts it to water chakra and runs hand signs again before switching his blade back-handed and firing another water blade without having to turn around. The arc is wide enough to catch any on the ground and kill them in one stroke, but that motion still slips him up enough for Kakashi to catch up. Once again, he's forced to expose part of his arsenal. He swings his blade out defensively, blocking Raikiri with the flat of the blade, but holds his own without being shocked this time. Kakashi's eyes narrow as his sharingan picks up the undeniable tint of wind chakra running through his sword. "Of course you picked up wind. Did Kushimaru teach you that?"

"The hell do you know about Kushi, huh?" Zabuza growls and forces Kakashi back, then starts a series of spinning swings with the dull edge of the blade on his shoulder, a defensive stance designed to force grappling range combatants back as the blade's range is slowly increased and becomes less defensive.

Kakashi backs off and drops his Raikiri, starting to feel the drain from using it for so long. "Well, he and the other six nearly killed me as a kid during the tail end of the war." He slices his thumb and runs five hand signs before palming the ground and conjuring his whole collection of hounds. "Starting to feel like outnumbering you as badly."

Zabuza's brow twitches. "You've gotta be shitting m-"

He freezes at the sound of the orange-clad brat snorting behind him. He peeks over his shoulder just enough to keep both sides in his peripherals and tenses up at the sight of a few dozen more clones staring him down from atop the supply crates and beam stacks. "Oh, he's outnumbered by a lot more than that." Another clone pipes up from the left. "Yeeaah, how many of us are there again?" One speaks up to his rear right. "I dunno, I lost track after that damn water blade. Think we can learn something like that?" "No, we are NOT copying teme's tryhard style. He can keep the swords, we weaponize FUN."

Zabuza growls and conjures another five water clones. "And how exactly do you 'fight with fun' when getting slaughtered?"

The clones snort and start to rush him, splitting up and taking all angles. He attempts to cut them down, but most of them back off before getting in his range. A few start doing somersaults in a circle around him. Others start flipping over each other in meaningless gymnastic routines, throwing in random variations at odd angles to draw his attention to odd directions. Veins emerge on his forehead as he's overcome with rage and relies on his Suigiri no Jutsu once more. He produces a full circular blade this time, cleaving them down around him at chest level, catching many leaping ones in the legs and severing their limbs in one fell stroke.

This leaves him surrounded by smoke and deafened by the clangs and snaps of his water crashing into the beams and crates, leaving him blind and deaf to the dogs approaching from all sides beneath the height of his attack. His sword arm is bitten by the mastiff and held in place, three get onto his legs and thighs, another two on his free arm, and Yoko leaps in and takes a bite of his shoulder, nearly into his neck. He barely grunts at the pain, but he knows he's debilitated entirely by this combination. Their combined bites could finish him off in an instant by tearing out several critical arteries, and he'd bleed out in a minute tops. "Ugh… Bested by a tree-hugging cyclops's kennel. Great." He peeks over his shoulder to the far end of the unfinished bridge. "… They're almost in place."

Kakashi nods as he slowly steps up with a kunai in hand. "The kids should be finishing up in a moment, then."

"Oh, we're done." Sasuke steps up with an unconscious Haku in tow, dragging her by the back of her robe and dropping her nearby. "That last blast knocked her out. Question now is what to do with these two."

Naruto taps on Sasuke's shoulder and points down the bridge with a shit-eating grin on his face, just as a very short and arrogant man in a pinstripe suit steps through the mist and into view. "That was quite the show! Never gotten to see ninja fight like this before. I'll have to hire some to entertain me more often, seeing as none of you will live long enough to give me a second performance." He pulls a cigar and a lighter from his pockets, taking a long drag. He billows smoke in their directions, giving the impression that if he had the guts to get close enough, he would have blown it in their faces.

Sakura and Tazuna manage to catch up at this point, and Tazuna clenches his fists at the sight of the redheaded dwarf. "Gato, you rat bastard. The hell are you doing here?"

"Cutting off loose ends." He flicks off the ashes and grinds them under his heel. As the fog starts to fade off, no longer supported by Zabuza's chakra, a horde of at least a hundred hired thugs can be seen standing twenty feet behind him. Malicious grins are barely hidden behind swords, knives, spears, and axes. "Honestly, I never got how you ninja could charge such absurd rates for your work when I could make so much more progress with less money, more men, and the promise of all the whores and coke they could ever want."

Kakashi and Zabuza look between one another for a few moments before nodding and turning vicious glares on the rich runt. The dogs drop and reveal their bites had been intentionally shallow and barely damaged the man at all, and he stands tall and unhindered. "All we needed to hear, ya pint-sized prick." Behind them, Naruto and Sasuke draw their kunai and chokuto, and their injuries suddenly fade away to reveal pristine, unharmed bodies.

Gato's eyes narrow and his jaw slack. "The fuck's goin on here?..."

Sakura sighs in relief and hunches over as chakra exhaustion starts to kick in. "Genjutsu. Maintaining one for the length of the average shinobi battle isn't too difficult but it's exhausting. Fooling other shinobi is the hard part. Fooling civilians, though, is easy." She forces on a grin. "I hope you enjoyed our act."

Naruto snorts. "Oh, I'm sure it was to die for. Which is great, because that's our admission price!"

"Wait…" Gato's eyes dart around and slowly backs up. "You knew I was gonna do this? You set me up?!"

"Oh.." Kakashi hums to himself and smiles through his mask. "It's so much more than that! As we speak…  
.

* * *

.

A water chakra boosted kunai cleaves through another set of chains mounting a helpless woman to a wall. She slowly raises her weary eyes to see a caramel-skinned and scarred shinobi making his way down the line and freeing the girls one by one. She tries to speak, but he raises a hand to stop her. "Save your voice. Rest for now, put your energy into leaving once I can escort you all out. You'll all be going home soon, I promise." She's too dazed and tired to argue, but at least gathers enough of her wits to look around to the ten bodies littering the floor, all belonging to Gato's thugs posted in this room and outside the door. Only three had drawn their weapons by the time they were killed, and six had their pants down.

.

* * *

.

Gato clenches his fists hard enough to crack knuckles. "Goddamnit… Fine, after my army kills you, I'll just have them recollect the whores and double our profits by taking more from the town! Besides, that was just one small source of income for me, I've got plenty more! My drug shipments make five times as much as the slaves do!"

Naruto snorts. "About that…" Suddenly, a few blasts can be heard down the shore, slowly growing louder, until ripples can be seen coming across the water through the fog. They cut off entirely for about two seconds before a much louder blast leaves no question as to what's just happened in the distance.

Sasuke chuckles and sighs at that wonderful sound. "Fireballs are great. Mixed with exploding seals, it's almost beautiful."

"Sasuke…" Naruto pats him on the back. "We've made something wonderful together."

"Enough." Kakashi cuts them off. "We'll discuss your brotherhood of pyromania later. For now, let's clean up here so we can go back to town and split the cash Jiraiya stole from his safe."

"You WHAT?!"

"Damn, shorty…" Zabuza hefts his blade over his shoulder and pulses a heavy dose of killing intent. Raw, cold hate rolls over Gato and crushes his spirit in an instant. Kakashi's dogs immediately cringe at the smell of him shitting himself. "You're complaining a lot about money for guy who's about to lose his head."

He visibly trembles even from fifty feet away, but manages to gather his wits just enough to turn, stumble and sprint away and towards his horde of hired hands. "GET OVER THERE AND KILL THE BASTARDS ALREADY!"

Just as Gato gets within thirty feet of his army of mooks, the bridge folds in half and crushes them all in one swift motion. Blood and bile splashes across Gato as he freezes up entirely and stares with mouth agape at the loss of his one hope of escape.

Zabuza is also rather stricken, and turns to face a chuckling Naruto. "What the fuck was that?"

"What?" He grins ear to ear and crosses his arms behind his head. "A trap that can only go off once is kind of inefficient, right?"

Kakashi stammers aimlessly for a moment, but hangs his head. "Just when I think I've caught up to your insanity. Alright, let's finish this up and get to cleaning the mess. Haku?"

A chill goes down Gato's spine before the radiating cold of her presence even registers. He slowly looks to his left to find Haku standing beside him with a heartless, mile-long stare accompanied by a chilling smile. "I told you I'd do much more than break your arm if you slighted us again." She slowly leans in with senbon in hand, leaving Gato to cry out into the mist in his final moments, dying as he lived: Alone, yet surrounded by people who hate him with a passion.

.

* * *

.

Naruto grumbles and shudders as he wanders back through the woods towards Tazuna's home. "Uuuugh… If I knew it'd be that messy, I would have use the poison gas trap instead…"

Kakashi shrugs. "Well, that's part of shinobi life, Naruto. I know it's the most blood I've seen at once, though, even during the war. It was quite the compact slaughter."

Zabuza hums and tilts his head a bit. "It was impressive especially for your age, but I've seen better. Hell, I've done better, though not quite in one stroke. For execution, I give it a nine."

Naruto sighs and hangs his head. "Well, glad my killing spree could be so highly rated by a world-class assassin."

Haku steps up and places her hand on his left shoulder. "Those were your first kills, weren't they?"

He nods shakily, leaning into Yoko as she sticks her head out of her perch in his hood and nuzzles him, but he jumps a bit when Sasuke joins him on his right. "Dobe, I get it. First kills are tough. First time seeing a man die is hard. I haven't gotten my first kill yet, but… I've seen seen plenty of death." He huffs. "… Just keep in mind those people would have gladly harmed completely innocent people if you hadn't killed them first. You infiltrated them, you know how bad they were."

Naruto nods once more and smiles somberly. "Yeah… Yeah, I guess it's not so bad, thinkin of it that way. It… still sucks, though."

Sakura chimes in with a surprisingly quiet tone, for her usual pitch anyway. "Naruto… yeah, it sucks. It really sucks. But I can already tell you're handling it well. Remember, we were all trained on how to handle the aftermath of a first kill, and… I can tell all your trap training and the animals helped prepare you for it. Yeah, there's a huge difference, but…"

Haku nods in agreement. "You're handling it wonderfully, Naruto. Just try not to be too hard on yourself, and focus on the positives."

"I couldn't put it better myself." Everyone looks up from their depressed comrade to see Jiraiya standing out front of Tazuna's house with Tsunami, Inari, and Hideki, surrounding a campfire he'd set up there. He presents a gentle smile for his godson and pulls him into a hug. "You'll be just fine, kiddo."

Sasuke and Sakura look to one another as a million questions run through their heads. Who is this guy? That headband is heavy evidence to one particular shinobi, a legendary hero of the village, but… how would he and Naruto know each other?

That estranged family moment is thrust aside though as Iruka returns and pushes the Sannin aside to pull his son into the tightest hug of his life. No words are shared, nor wasted. He simply sinks into his father's arms and buries his face, shivering and letting the silence speak for him. Nobody dares to interrupt them. Sasuke steps past them to check on Hideki, and Sakura joins Tsunami and Inari as she escorts Tazuna back to his family. The boy is shy and reserved at first, but eventually starts to ask how it all went, how they were able to come home safe, and who these two strangers following them are.

Speaking of the two strangers, Kakashi speaks to Zabuza in a tone so hushed that surely only the two of them, Jiraiya, and maybe Haku would hear him. "So, you still plan to take up my offer? I have a lot of sway back home, as does Naruto, surprisingly enough."

He grumbles and crosses his arms. "Oh, I already see why. Being that close to a Sannin isn't exactly an everyday thing, and I know exactly who your sensei was. It doesn't take much to put it together. The kid's gonna make waves one day." He sighs and hangs his head. ".. I'll consider it. You have about a week yet before he finishes the bridge and sends you all home anyway. When the time comes, I'll have answer." He slowly walks away to join Haku. "Becoming a treehugger never really crossed my mind, but it's better than running from Anbu forever."

Kakashi nods and pulls the latest Icha Icha from his pocket, focusing on the book to wind down from the day's ordeals, and to give the kids some time to sort out their issues their own way.

That short moment of peace is completely undone moments later when Naruto starts raging at Jiraiya about tearing down his security and seals so easily and demanding to know how he did it. The answers only manage to enrage the blonde bastard even more.


	16. Spy vs Spy, Mei Oh My

Naruto was always used to being stared at in the village. It was a common enough occurrence, receiving glares from the random citizens as he passes by, laced with a blind hatred that's plagued him his whole life.

So it didn't take him long at all to realize that this time, everyone was focused on the missing nin that he was accompanying to the Hokage's tower upon returning home. The appearance of an infamous criminal with an obviously slashed headband draws the majority of people's attentions the moment they notice the towering assassin and his man-sized sword.

Now knowing what Naruto is, and just how much the village has come to hate him, his teammates were a bit defensive at first when coming home, but seeing as they escort was drawing everyone's ire instead, they eventually calmed down. Kakashi couldn't help but be proud of them for caring so much for Naruto in light of his jinchuuriki status.

But of course, there was one big obstacle on the way that wasn't so much big as it was glaring and pissing Zabuza off by its mere conception. He stands in the middle of the road with his left eye twitching. "Why. The fuck. Are these little shits following us. In a _box painted as a rock?_ "

Naruto snorts. "I dunno if they're following you or me. Could be either one." He pulls on a string hidden in the bottom of his left pocket, and a small paper ball drops out of his pants leg as he walks. Moments later, as the box passes over it, it goes off as a flashbang and scares the Kono Trio clean out of their mobile hideout.

Konohamaru coughs spastically at the smoke pouring from his overturned box. "Ugh, damnit boss! How'd you know we were there?!"

Udon mumbles through the part of his shirt he's held to his face to block out the smoke. "I told you it was too obvious for him."

Moegi whines and drops to her knees. "I spent two hours painting the rock texture on that box!"

"Hey!" Kono kneels down to get in Moegi's face. "If two hours left us that obvious, then you've gotta put ten into it next time!" The entire time he's yelling at her, she's looking past him and growing visibly scared.

When Kono finally notices this, he slowly turns his head and finds Zabuza has now knelt down and started staring the boy down with just a tiny smidge of killing intent. "So you think you're sneaky, huh?"

Konohamaru Backs away slightly, but in his naiveté and overconfidence, pushes forward and stares Zabuza down directly. "What's a bandaged bastard like you know about stealth?! I bet you can't hide from a toddler with a sword that big!"

Sakura's jaw drops at the display, as do Kono's teammates', but Zabuza on the other hand laughs as he uprights himself. "You've got guts, kid. Good." He turns to walk off towards the tower again, but pauses halfway. "If you really wanna learn to be sneaky, try asking an anbu, and try to get the jump on me. Hell, the orange runt here has a good chance of catching up to me, wardrobe notwithstanding."

"Oi!"

He snorts in laughter. "Keep working on it, maybe one of you three will get it one day." His eyes fall on Udon. "You there, snot-nose. You seem quiet enough. I suggest you try speaking up more to knock some sense into these two and put those brains to use figuring out what your leader's got wrong."

Udon can only manage to stare at Zabuza's back as he walks away, while Konohamaru yells various obscenities at him and Moegi struggles to calm the young Sarutobi down.

Kakashi side-eyes Zabuza as they move. "You know I had to signal for several anbu to stand down when you got that close to the Hokage's grandson, right?"

"That runt was the old monkey's grandkid?" He huffs. "Should learn to act like it and take his career path seriously."

Naruto shakes his head. "I hope he doesn't take it seriously too soon. I always have because I've been on rock bottom all my life. He's been given everything, and hates it, but he doesn't know how else to act. It'll take a huge loss for make him take it seriously, and I don't wanna see him go through that too soon."

"Hmm…" Haku smiles gently and nods in agreement, slowly raising her hand and producing a rose of ice. "Makes me wonder what would have happened to me if I'd been raised in peace instead of losing my parents at such a young age." She pinches the stem, and it scatters into snow. "Innocence is so fragile. A single moment can shatter it, and then, the world is never the same."

Sakura wraps her arms around herself. "I.. I guess I'm the only one of us who hasn't lost something like that, but… my dad fought against the Kyuubi, and it cost him a lot. I've always watched him having trouble getting around, dealing with constant pain in his left leg. It's crippling, and really helped me to realize just how much a shinobi needs to be willing to sacrifice, and how much they should expect to face." Her eyes narrow. "I guess I just… always had a good example in my life, even if I didn't listen to half of what he said for so long."

"Meh." Kakashi shrugs. "I did much of the same. Don't beat yourself up for being a kid, even now. Everyone has their learning curves, you three just happen to be ahead of the general curve, and by a wide margin might I add." He sets his book away as they reach the base of the Hokage's tower, just in time to see Team 8 emerging with a mission scroll in hand. Kiba and Akamaru are immediately besieged by Yoko leaping up and draping herself over his shoulders to sniff at Akamaru's head sticking out from under Kiba's hood. Hinata comes stumbling to a stop at the sight of Naruto and almost trying to hide behind her sensei, whom goes slack-jawed at the sight of Zabuza. Shino of course has no reaction at all.

Kurenai stammers aimlessly for a few moments. "Z.. Z-Zabuza? What the hell are you doing in Konoha?"

Naruto chuckles earnestly. "Oh my god, this is better than I thought. Yes, you have me to thank!" Naruto steps up with open arms. "Your future Hokage has managed to turn a nukenin and his student into aspiring Konoha shinobi!" He takes a sweeping bow, but Yoko jumps off Kiba's shoulder, onto the back of Naruto's head, and forces him to faceplant. Kiba breaks into laughter, and Haku manages to giggle a bit. Naruto grumbles into the dirt. "lousy fuckin…" He uprights himself and wipes the dirt off as Zabuza step up.

"Yuuhi Kurenai, right? I think we last met about… oh, was it two years ago at a bar in Ochakuni when you were drugging and grilling that sop in the corner for the whereabouts of a drug ring?"

She huffs. "Yes, I believe so. I was just glad to be seeing you during an irrelevant mission, yet here you are, led straight into the heart of our village." She looks to Kakashi. "Did you all seriously convert him?"

"Oh, we might have." He gives her his patented eye-smile and waves it off. "Not too difficult, his boss when we found him was literally the worst kind of human imaginable, so convincing anyone to turn against him was as easy as could be."

"I had to infiltrate their ship three nights in a row and map out the whole thing for dad."

"I had to use Naruto's map to save an entire cargo hold of human trafficking victims."

Kurenai turns to Iruka in shock. "You did what?"

Iruka crosses his arms behind his head and turns away sheepishly. "I might have understated the training I've been putting in lately. I just wanted to keep up with my son!"

Kiba snorts. "How hard can that be?"

"I dunno, keeping up with the future Hokage would be pretty tough, don't ya think?" He smirks down to Naruto, who just beams up at his dad with an ear-to-ear grin. Hinata can't help but smile at that family bond Naruto's finally managed to find.

Kurenai sighs in frustration with Iruka's recklessness, but she can't help but smile at his determination and dedication to his son. "I suppose. But back on topic…" She returns her gaze to Zabuza. "Really looking to join us, with your bloody history?"

He grumbles and shoves his hands deep in his pockets. "There's a lot the public doesn't know, and a lot that I'm not at liberty to say. What I will tell you is a lot more of it than you think was justified by better reasons than being my job." He starts pushing his way past to get inside. "That said, I am still a bloody beast, so you'd best watch who you're insulting."

Kiba gives Zabuza's back a fanged grin. "I like his style. His sword smells like an insane amount of blood, though."

Naruto shrugs. "You get used to it when ya hang around him enough." He leans sideways to peek past Kiba and around Kurenai to Hinata. "Hey, Hinata! How's the wind training coming?"

She squeaks and backs away a bit, but slowly peeks out form her hiding place. "U-Um… I suppose it's going well." She averts her eyes. "I-I'm very limited on jutsu though, since I still don't have much chakra, b-but I'm working on it."

Naruto gives her an eager thumbs-up as he passes. "You got this! We'll have to compare jutsu later, once I've got some time off. I think I'll have a week after this mission's turned in, if you're ever free!" Rather than waiting for a reply, knowing he has to catch up to the nukenin he's escorting, he gives Shino a quick fist-bump and a small scroll before running ahead to rejoin Zabuza and Kakashi.

Sakura steps past with a shrug, whispering to her fellow kunoichi. "He'll get it one day, he's just slow when it comes to this stuff."

Sasuke snorts. "And you aren't? You hounded me for years."

"It was a phase, Ok?!"

Once they pass out of earshot, Hinata turns to Shino. "U-Um... what was that s-scroll about?"

Shino slowly opens it and stares at the contents for a few moments. "… Apparently, he's provided me with a few natural toxins to have my bugs find cures for to strengthen my immunities, and prepaid for another parasite check for Yoko."

Inside, Naruto manages to get ahead of Kakashi again in time to reach the office door first. He almost barges in, but having developed a bit more tact since meeting Jiraiya, he actually knocks for once… although he makes a long, rhythmic, obnoxious sequence of knocks until he hears an exasperated groan. "Come in, Naruto."

He swings the door open with his trademark ear-to-ear grin and waves everyone else through. "Team Seven, reporting back with Momochi Zabuza, his adoptive daughter Haku, and the best damn teacher in the elemental nations!"

Iruka stumbles a bit at that comment. "W- What did I do to deserve that much praise?"

"Being enough of a badass to pull off that rescue mission and take out half the thugs on the ship alone."

"Don't knock the compliment." Zabuza shrugs. "That was easily upper Chuunin work, far better than academy teacher level, possibly lower Tokubetsu rank."

Sarutobi can't help but smirk at the assassin's praise of his shinobi. "Coming from such an accomplished and seasoned assassin as yourself, I'd have to be the most arrogant Kage of all to not take that evaluation seriously." He writes down a few notes. "Iruka, you may be looking at a promotion. I'll keep you on the school's staff as well if you'd like, but you'll be training new hires there to ensure they're up to snuff. Rather than just being on the staff, you may end up heading the whole school by the end of this month."

Iruka gulps nervously. "Y… Y-Yes sir. I hope I can perform to your expectations!"

Haku leans in towards Naruto. "I thought Iruka was only this nervous with Tsunami because he was poor with women. Is he really this anxious all the time?"

"He's not used to praise."

Sakura elbows him. "Neither are you, ya fragile blond windbag. One genuine compliment, and all that bravado deflates like popping a balloon." Naruto slumps, but does not reply.

"Alright, alright." Hiruzen waves for them to settle down. "Enough pleasantries. As good as it is to see you all home safe, even our two guests, we have a debriefing to get through. So..." He fills his pipe and lights it with fire chakra on his thumb. "How exactly did you so drastically change the state of affairs for an entire nation?"

.

* * *

.

Hiruzen rubs his temples, slightly hunched over his desk. "Dear god, I can't leave you alone for two minutes without either some experiment exploding, someone being pranked half to death, or now apparently an international incident." He leans back in his chair and stares at the ceiling. "Children, you are dismissed. You all have a week off before I'll be assigning your next mission."

"Ah…" Sasuke reaches into his pockets. "Before we go, I've got two things you might want." He pulls out a scroll first. "This contains the head of that traitorous bastard Aoi." He tosses the scroll over the desk, and Hiruzen effortlessly catches it. "And I retrieved this from him." He pulls the Raijin no Ken from his right pocket, channeling just a bit of chakra and sparking the blade to life.

Hiruzen slowly rises from his seat and steps around his desk to approach Sasuke, a smile overtaking his wrinkled face as he accepts the sword from Sasuke with the gentle care of a father holding their child. "My sensei's weapon. Such a wonderful masterwork of sealing and craftsmanship." He sighs and traces his old fingers across the seals carved into its outer casing. "I never should have let this fall into Aoi's hands… but it's finally come home." He pauses, slowly lowering his gaze back to Sasuke… and handing him the blade. "But I believe it's found a new home now."

Sasuke's sharingan activated purely out of shock, giving Hiruzen a bit of a start as well, seeing those eyes after so long. Already balanced with two tomoe each. This sextuple threat of pupils bares down on the legendary weapon in his hand as he judges whether he truly deserves it. "Hokage-sama… I really don't think you should give this to me. It belongs with someone far greater. Shouldn't Kakashi have this?"

He shakes his head and slowly returns to his seat. "Kakashi was never any good with swords, even his anbu tanto, and he already has Raikiri. No, this sword is best off with a young man whom I feel embodies much of the spirit of my sensei, in skill, practicality, temperament, and most importantly…" He takes his seat and grins. "My sensei was a great man, but he was very biased against your clan, and I can't help but smile at the thought of him rolling in his grave at an Uchiha receiving his blade and proving him wrong."

Sasuke can't help but snort and smirk at that thought, shutting the blade off and pocketing it, then bowing. "Thank you, Hokage-sama. I swear on both my clan and this village's honor that I'll do great things with it."

Hiruzen leans back in his seat and takes a puff from his pipe. "I'm sure you will. Now, you're all dismissed. You're also to report to training ground seven at your standard time tomorrow, but expect Kakashi to be there on time this time." Kakashi gulps at that, knowing there must be trouble brewing for him. His students snicker at him on their way out, and start discussing dinner plans for the evening.

Finally, Kakashi sighs and reaches into his vest, pulling a small toad from his pocket, and takes a moment to just look at it before chucking it full-throttle at the floor. It instantly turns back into Jiraiya and faceplants, slides forwards and flips into a scorpion pose, then stops seated with his back to the floor and his legs on the front of Hiruzen's desk. "Uuugh… Goddamnit Kakashi, you almost popped me!"

Hiruzen snorts out smoke. "If one of your clones would be beaten that easily, I'd have to seriously reconsider your rank in this village."

Jiraiya slowly rolls to his feet and stretches. "I've been riding back with them in disguise for a few days, what do you expect? I'm running on fumes here." He grumbles and arches his back. "Now, I already briefed Zabuza on this bit. While I was gathering intel on Orochimaru from around the islands, I managed to get in contact with a contingency of shinobi from the Kiri rebellion. Turns out, they managed to take over recently, and Yagura's good and dead."

Zabuza sighs and slumps against the wall. "Damnit, Yagura. I still don't know what the hell could have gotten him to act like that, even with Isobu in his head. Hell, that turtle probably would have hated what Yagura was doing."

"Concerning that…" Jiraiya turns to Zabuza with crossed arms. "Some recent intel suggests it may involve the same person responsible for the Kyuubi's attack here. Someone with a sharingan is running around messing with jinchuuriki, and Yagura was likely one of his targets."

Zabuza's brow furls. If not for how intensely muscled his face is, the lack of eyebrows would make it imperceptible. "Well that's pleasant. An overpowered Uchiha with an axe to grind against every village is someone I'd have to hope is just a myth, but Yagura's last ten years line up with that theory too well to be a coincidence."

Kakashi nods sternly. "But now that he's dead and disposed of, whatever plot this Uchiha was up to is stunted for now."

"But…" Jiraiya cuts in. "A certain snake in the grass has been benefitting from it. Orochimaru's been assisting in the bloodline purges in return for samples of any bloodlines to experiment with, and occasionally just cleaning up after massacres and taking kids and parts. I managed to stop some of his minions trying to take a Hozuki boy, and shortly after, I met some rebel nin there who were trying to clean up after the remainder of Yagura's regime. They informed me that they were looking into Orochimaru themselves, and would be willing to work with us on bringing the bastard down. Their new leader and soon-to-be Mizukage, Terumi Mei, is apparently eager to begin peace talks with us, knowing we have a similar passion for bloodline preservation, freedom of expression, and bringing down that slithering bastard."

"Wait…" Zabuza pushes himself off the wall. "Mei? Shit, I thought she died in the raid on Yagura that got me labeled a nukenin!" He grins through his mummy mask. "Well damn. I'll have to get her a few drinks if I ever get back there."

Hiruzen hums and smirks. "That sounds wonderful to me. So, here's how it'll go. You'll become our ambassador between Konoha and Kiri. You'll have dual membership and citizenship, and be sent to rendezvous with the Kiri anbu on reconnaissance in Gohangakure to be escorted there, while Kakashi retrieves any relevant information from them to return here." He starts sorting through scrolls on his desk. "Let's see… I have a few other missions in mind to send you on that could be used as a front for this operation, and make it a stronger political play in the process. Uniting with Kiri when we already have Suna on our side is sure to put Iwa against the wall and push them to either act as brashly as possible and get snuffed out quickly, or knowing Onoki, he'll play things as carefully as possible and feel out the alliance for a few months before playing his own underhanded tactics to either shoehorn his way into the alliance or undermine it as much as possible. Killer A on the other hand is a bit of a wild card. I haven't been able to really feel out his motivations and methods as Raikage yet, so we'll have to wait and see how he reacts. Surely not as brash or cruel as his father could be at times, given the lack of assassination attempts from his corner of the world."

Haku reaches up to prop her chin up as she thinks, mumbling for a moment through her index finger. "That's got to be one of the most critical political plays the world's ever seen. If you pull it off, it's a grand era of peace. If you fail, it's the start of a new war. A huge gamble to be sure, but skewed so far in your favor either way that it would be frankly stupid not to take advantage of it."

Hiruzen raises an eyebrow at her, then snorts as he catches Zabuza's eyes. "Careful, demon. You've taught her so well I'm considering making her the ambassador instead." He sighs in relief and sits up. "Well, I believe that's all for you two. Best you get going. For now, you'll be closely monitored by anbu, but you're free to enjoy the village as you see fit. I suggest you stay at the hotel on Goemon Boulevard, Ryu no Su."

Zabuza shrugs and saunters towards the door. "Thanks for this tip. Keep in touch, and if ya get a hawk to Kiri, give Mei my regards." He waves on his way out. "Later, cyclops."

"Says the man who got his ass beat when I used my other eye." Zabuza flips him off on the way out. Kakashi just shrugs and turns back to Hiruzen. "So, what's this about tomorrow morning?"

Hiruzen leans over his desk and passes Kakashi a very thick file. "A new training program proposed by Shikaku. I think you'll be satisfied by what you find here."

Kakashi raises his visible brow, then pulls his headband up to memorize the contents with his sharingan as he reads through. Every few moments, his eyes grow wider. "This… this is brilliant." He lowers the file and peeks over it to his kage. "Remind me to take Shikaku out for a few drinks for proposing this."

"Hmph." Hiruzen blows a fresh plume of smoke. "Funny, my son said the same thing, after 'what the hell got his lazy ass to write out something this big?'"


	17. Interpersonal Warfare

Not much ever succeeds at getting Naruto truly down. He's a fighter, always managing to find something to keep him positive. Coming home to find his door broken and home vandalized is certainly not one of them. He stumbles through the graffiti-painted front door and looks over his shredded couch, toppled fridge, and busted table. The walls are marked with various threats and insults, ranging from the standard "DEMON" and "DIE" to one surprisingly creative instance of "YIFF IN HELL, FOX FUCKER". That one's new to him.

The furniture, he didn't mind much. He and Iruka could replace those. Painting would be easy enough. Replacing the now piss-stained carpets would be a little more difficult and obnoxious, since he could never get anyone to do it for him at his old apartment, and here at his dad's place is certainly going to be just as tough purely because of his own involvement. The truly tough part was finding his family photos smashed out of their frames and ripped apart. Those were one of the only things he had that was truly valuable to him that he kept in the open. Even Iruka had gotten into the habit of keeping his most valuable belongings locked up and hidden purely due to shinobi paranoia, long before Naruto came along. But the loss of these photos, the memories of their time as a family, truly hurts.

The difficult part for him to grasp was that his traps built beside the door had clearly been triggered, and people suffered at his hands under them. A few blood stains sit on the floor by the door, with the kunai that had been launched. The seals containing itching powder, stink bombs, and paintballs had all been dispensed. The evidence was literally on the wall. Enough people just happened to hate him enough to force their way through it all until no traps remained, and then ruin the place when no threats were left.

He had tried to put the same kind of security seals he used at Tazuna's place all over his door, but apparently this apartment complex didn't allow for him to mark their door like that. Now there was graffiti all over it and an eviction notice stuck to the wall just inside it. The landlord had decided the damage to his property was too extensive, and would surely happen any time Naruto left the village for a mission. There was no way he'd be allowed to stay here, even with the Hokage's influence. Civilian and shinobi laws clash all the time, and property law is one of the points that the civilian side always wins on.

Sakura and Sasuke step up beside their teammate. Sakura's arms find their way around him, and Sasuke places a hand on his shoulder. Naruto can't help but shiver. Even having had them as teammates and best friends for some time now, this sort of contact is one thing he's still unused to. Eventually, he closes his eyes and leans back into them. No words need be exchanged, as he can already tell they truly care in this moment, and it's more than pity.

The silence is surprisingly broken by Sasuke. "Let's gather up everything you want to and can recover from here. You need a new place; I'm moving you and Iruka-sensei into one of the empty homes in my compound."

Naruto's head bolts up fast enough for the Kyuubi to wonder how he avoided whiplash. "Wait, WHAT?!"

"You heard me." He shoves his hand back in his pocket and turns away from his teammates' stares. Sakura especially is bothering him with how enamored she is with this act of charity. "I have room for you, you won't have to pay rent, and you can save up to get a nice place of your own a hell of a lot faster. I already heard Iruka talking about it back at Tazuna's, when he was commenting on wanting a place like theirs. This just expedites things a bit." He walks to the door and peeks around outside. "You might wanna sneak some clones out the windows to check out who's staking out the house to see your reaction to this mess they left, and let Iruka know what's up here since he apparently went to see Anko before coming home…"

"I did, but…" All three genin turn to find Iruka coming out of his bedroom with a packed bag in hand and Anko standing just behind him. Anko looks like she's either about to cry or rip someone to shreds, but Iruka is just somber and resigned. "I brought her back here and found the place before you three. I figured this sort of thing might happen…" He rubs the back of his neck, but pauses at the sight of Naruto hanging his head and turning away. He quickly sets his bag down and pulls his son into a hug right away. "Naruto… I don't blame you at all for any of this. I took you in knowing this sort of thing could happen, and I didn't care. I have backups of all the photos, nothing irreplaceable was lost. We're going to be fine, alright?" Naruto remains silent, but slowly buries his face into Iruka's vest and barely contains his tears. Iruka knows he won't cry. Naruto never cries in front of anyone when it involves the violent hatred he's lived under. He numbed himself to it long ago. Iruka sighs and peeks up to his other two former students. "Sakura, could you please help Naruto and Anko gather his things while I speak with Sasuke?"

She nods shakily. "O-Of course, Iruka-sensei." She steps up and takes Naruto's hand to lead him. "Come on, let's make this quick so you can leave this mess behind, alright?" He remains silent, but allows her to pull him away from Iruka to head into his room.

Anko takes Iruka's hand and gently turns him to face her, their faces mere inches apart. "Are you sure you're alright? I know you're trying to be strong for the kid, but…"

Iruka shakes his head. "I am strong enough for this. I don't care how many people hate me for him, or for you. I don't have to try. I've been prepared for this and more for a long while now."

Anko's face softens as she sighs and nods in understanding. "Right… well, I'll help those two out, but I'll be back for you soon, alright?" She gently kisses him, but Sasuke can't help but notice that she bites his lip a bit as she pulls away. She then turns her gaze to Sasuke with a smirk. "And expect me to be visiting a lot. Probably spending the night. You got that?"

Sasuke pales for a moment, but narrows his eyes on her. "As long as you two can keep quiet enough to not keep me up and mess with my training."

Anko smirks and wiggles her eyebrows. "No promises, pinkeye." She steps away to get into Naruto's room. "So, brat! Where ya hide those porno mags you studied for that Orioke no Jutsu?!"

Sasuke's jaw drops, but Iruka shakes his head. "The worst part is, this isn't the first time she's asked that, and this time, she's probably going to find out."

.

* * *

.

Sarutobi Asuma, Yuhi Kurenai, Hatake Kakashi, and Maito Gai sit in a booth at the village's most popular barbecue, Yakiniku Q. As they await their orders, everyone but Kakashi reads over a form he's handed out in order to catch them up with the Hokage's latest orders. Asuma whistles as he finishes committing it to memory. "Even reading it over a second time, that's one hell of a plan. Tsunade might even willingly come home if she saw the potential of this." He takes a quick puff of his cigarette, freshly lit with his own thumb, but Kurenai focuses water chakra into her fingertip and snuffs it out with a tap, before cutting in with her own commentary.

"It's certainly a versatile system. Probably going to be more effective than any training program this village or any village has ever had, save for personal apprenticeships."

"More than that…" Gai interjects. "It's a gateway to more easily find specialized students to choose as apprentices." He peeks up from the forms with his signature Nice Gai Grin. "It's a masterwork of pure logic intertwined into the most hopeful education system I've ever laid eyes on."

"Precisely." Kakashi sets his away into his vest. "And it's set for tomorrow, hence why there's been orders to avoid any missions outside the village for the last week. My team should be fine to go for this training tomorrow. We'll all meet at training ground 7 and kick this off with trading students based on unaddressed skill sets and specialties. So, let's get that organized now…"

.

* * *

.

The Uchiha compound hasn't been this lively for seven years. Naruto's clones scramble about cleaning floors, dusting corners, and generally prepping his family's new livingspace neighboring Sasuke's in short order. He's never been the best at cleaning, but when you have five clones each with large sponges doing a hands-down, ass-up sprint from one end of the room to the other, each floor ends up done in under five minutes. The dusting is a bit more of a mess when Naruto tries rushing it with Atsugai, but the wind jutsu only manages to get that dust cycling through the air and leaves both Naruto and Iruka sneezing up a storm. Iruka's water jutsu prove much more useful in the cleaning efforts.

In about an hour, they had their two bedrooms, livingroom, kitchen, and bathroom all spotless. They lacked furniture for now, but that proves a quick fix as well. Turns out that once Anko reported the incident to the Hokage, he went on the warpath hunting down which shonobi and citizens had done this, and handed Anko enough money and sealing scrolls to get all the furniture they'd need to them in no-time flat. Everyone discovered to have taken part in the defacing and destruction of their property would have their assets seized and sold to compensate them, then be thrown into prison for a minimum two-year sentence, depending on what other information was dug up about each of them in the process.

Of course, Anko had to go nuts with the furniture budget. She refused to waste so much as a dime of it, and Hiruzen had fully expected as much when he handed her such a hefty amount. Just another step towards spoiling Naruto as a silent apology for all the secrecy and suffering all these years. That apology is put to its fullest use, as Anko returns to them with a sectional couch, a new TV, radio, a surprisingly ornate coffee table that does a bit to give away her slightest feminine side and passion for ancient traditional culture, two new dressers, two new desks, a queen sized bed for Naruto, and a king sized for Iruka. When Iruka asked her why he'd ever need one so huge, her response was too vulgar for Naruto's ears, and whatever she'd whispered to Iruka lit him up like a Gokakyu no Jutsu (Fireball) to the face. He was instantly thankful for the stock of Naruto's silencing seals he kept on hand.

With the furniture set and their new home ready, Sasuke came over to visit his temporary neighbors. "You all settled in pretty quickly." He grumbles. "Don't get comfortable. This is a temporary arrangement."

Naruto crosses his arms and pouts. "Ya gotta ruin it, man? Just admit it, ya like having some neighbors in here again."

Sasuke stares silently for a moment, but rather than his usual dismissing scoff, he just slowly looks away and marching back to the door. "Just try not to be too noisy over here, alright?"

Iruka raises his head from his spot on the couch beside Anko. "Sasuke… you're more than welcome to come join us for dinner. It's the least we can do to thank you for letting us stay here."

He stops in the doorway for a moment, but shakes his head and keeps walking, never bothering to look back. "I have some training to do."

Naruto watches his best friend's back in silence for a few moments, eventually huffing and turning away to join his dad on the couch. "I don't get it… I almost managed to pull him out of his shell before graduation, and now he's shutting himself out again!"

Anko bites her lip, peeking over her shoulder and out the window to where Sasuke made his way off to. "… I think I know why. I might have a solution though, but I'm gonna have to get almost as manipulative as my old master was." She sighs deeply. "But at least it's for a good cause."

Iruka nods and pulls her in tighter. "Don't worry about becoming him. Like you said… it's a good cause. I know you'd never think that way otherwise. As sadistic as you are…" He gently kisses her, and for once, Naruto can't find it in himself to object. "you're a truly good person."

Anko blushes and pouts as he turns away, but scoots closer to lean against his chest. "W-Whatever. Let's just watch a damn movie or something…"

.

* * *

.

Hinata watched it all from afar. Naruto's return home from his mission, the way his home had been vandalized in their absence, the new home they'd relocated to since, she saw it all. Throw in providing the anbu assigned to investigate with her descriptions of all the offending citizens and shinobi, including a few names, and her day had been quite the emotional rollercoaster. She still couldn't bring herself to intrude on his life, especially on a day like this, but reporting those responsible for his torment today was enough help for her to be just a bit proud of herself. Although one of them had been a member of her own clan, she didn't care. They deserve whatever they get for this transgression against Naruto.

She returns home to find one of the middling members of the main house being dragged out of the compound by anbu, with her father watching on the sidelines. She steps past without so much as a glance at the arrogant vandal and stops beside her father. "… I suppose this won't reflect well on us."

"No it will not…" He huffs. "But he will be imprisoned for his actions, and he'll be sealed by week's end. His chakra has already been sealed but his Byakugan must be locked to ensure he cannot orchestrate an escape, nor return to active duty upon his release." He peeks down to his daughter. "I would like to speak to you in private about this matter and several others." He turns to lead, knowing she'll fall into line as she's been raised to do all her life. She of course does, and though as nervous as she always is around the man, her determination to stand against Naruto's oppressors encourages her enough to not show it for once.

They soon arrive at Hiashi's office chamber and kneel upon the tatami mats. With a pair of handsigns, the doors seal shut and the room is soundproofed. "You seem quite bold today, daughter. Am I correct in you have something to do with Akechi's arrest?"

After a few moments, she bows her head in a quick nod. "Yes, father. I witnessed his vandalism of Naruto-kun and Iruka-sensei's home, among many others. I have witnessed the results of Naruto's former apartment being targeted and suspected such a thing may happen in their absence. As such, I took it upon myself to check on their home daily as I passed it on my way home from missions and training with my team."

Hiashi hums and nods in response. "A logical course of action, given the pattern of prior incidents. Thinking critically and defensively, as all shinobi should." He closes his eyes for just a moment. "… And what do you know of the reasoning behind these attacks?"

Hinata remains still and silent for a few moments, but sighs and slouches almost imperceptibly. Enough for a trained shinobi to catch with ease, but not enough to suggest disrespect or weakness in the clan head's presence. "I have witnessed the seal on him with my Byuakugan. It's complexity makes our clan's work appear… juvenile in comparison. The power within it is vast." She turns her head away. "… You know my distaste for this clan's class system, father. You know I've planned to eradicate the Kago no Tori no Juin. (Caged Bird Seal) Every time I look into fuinjutsu, one term always surfaces as the most advanced and potent example of the art in human history." She turns her gaze back to her father. "Jinchuuriki."

Hiashi nods sternly. "That it is. Then you've connected the dots, I see. Yet you haven't lost your… interest in him." Interest is certainly putting it lightly, but he'd rather not call it the overwhelming crush it is. After a few moments, he manages to smile for the first time she's witnessed in years. "Impressive, my dear daughter."

She goes ramrod straight and wide-eyed at his praise. "F-Father?.."

He gently waves towards the floor as a gesture for her to calm down. "His status as a jinchuuriki, as I'm sure you suspect, is an S-rank secret. We are not meant to discuss it. Only the fact that you have discovered the truth through your own devices allows us to speak of it now. You may address the matter with the Hokage if you have further questions regarding his status. For now, I must congratulate you for recognizing him as a person rather than the beast." He grumbles. "A rather distasteful person in many ways, but still a shinobi of Konoha, rather than the monster many treat him as."

Hinata sighs in relief and bows. "Thank you, father. I will uphold the law and not speak of this outside of the correct circles. I… don't think I'll have it in me to discuss the matter with Naruto for some time anyway." She sits upright once more. "Does he know, or has he been kept in the dark as we have?"

"Actually…" He crosses his arms. "It's come to my attention recently, through Hokage-sama, that Naruto has indeed learned of his status through similar circumstances to your own discovery. His research into sealing has been fruitful to say the least, and his progress in the art has been…"

She smiles. "Breathtaking, honestly."

He huffs. "I wouldn't quite put it that way, but he's certainly proven abnormally vast talent in the field. Given time, I suspect he could overtake our clan's greatest sealmasters and approach the level of Jiraiya-sama." He shakes himself from these thoughts. "Regardless of his improvements though, the fact that you've seen through the surface level of his status and witnessed his true character beneath proves that you can be trusted with this knowledge, and that… I suppose I no longer have any reason to insist you keep your distance from him. Especially considering the events to take place tomorrow morning."

Hinata pauses and grips her tights for a moment. "What's happening tomorrow?"

.

* * *

.

"Sooo, come on, talk to me!" Ino sits across from Sakura, whom elected to visit her best friend after assisting Naruto with the move. There wasn't really much to move though, and she bailed shortly after Anko pulled a stack of magazines out of a seal etched into the underside of Naruto's bedframe. This impromptu visit to the Yamanaka compound quickly became a sleepover that she'd honestly been hoping to have for some time. That inevitably brought out Ino's gossipy side, which obviously took up about 70% of her civilian personality. Now, they sit across from one another on her bedroom floor amongst a myriad of pillows, old plushies, and junk food she'd been saving for just such an occasion. She used to avoid all of this stuff like the plague, but Choji managed to get her to rethink her diet. They're in sets of matching polka dot pajamas and T shirts of their own signature colors, and Ino's lowered hair flails about as she gets in Sakura's face. "You spent two whole weeks with Sasuke, you've gotta have at least a few juicy details about him by now!"

Sakura sighs deeply and runs her fingers through her hair. "Honestly, I didn't learn much that I didn't already know. His sharingan's working now, so that's pretty awesome. Honestly, those eyes are really intimidating, but… also kind of hot for that exact reason?" She blushes rather deeply at that vocalized though. "E-Especially since he tends to bring them out when he's getting protective. An avenger to the end, ya know?"

Ino giggles at her own overactive imagination. "Ooooh, now that's juicy. Being that protective of you, huh?"

Sakura blushes deeply and looks away. "N-No, actually. I don't think he feels like he really needs to protect me? He did get really protective of this kid who we found living in a box in front of his burned home in Nami no Kuni." She stares at the floor. "Hideki's a great kid. We had to leave him in Nami with some friends we made there who agreed to care for him while we looked into sending two shinobi Iruka-sensei and Kakashi-sensei knew from here who're apparently looking to adopt." She raises her head with a grin. "We saved him from a few thugs and the boy got so attached to Sasuke you'd think they were brothers."

Ino blanches at the mention of Sasuke and 'brothers'. "Um… isn't that a bit of a sore subject for Sasuke, though?"

She huffs. "Very… but he actually got kinda soft for Hideki. He saw himself in the boy, and he just… couldn't stand to see someone be where he'd been, ya know?"

Ino nods faintly, her formerly flirtatious and gossipy mood having traded for something far more somber. "He's changed a lot. Looking back, he was kind of a prick… but I guess there really is a lot more to him than that." She forces her smile back on. "You're lucky to have gotten to see that side of him."

Sakura pouts a bit. "I know that smile, Ino. I know, I get it, you're still crushing on him a bit too. But really, we have much more important things to worry about. Right now, I'm just happy being his friend and teammate."

"Yeah, I get that…" Ino drops her forced smile. For a moment, Sakura realizes how much it reminds her of Naruto's. Great at acting genuine, but a bit too wide to be real. "I'm still kinda jealous, though. I know neither of us has any chance of getting a date with him any time soon, but you've certainly pulled ahead more than anyone." She shakes her head a bit and brushes her fallen hair out of her face. "But as jealous as I am, I'm kinda proud of you too. Looking back, he's never been mentally healthy. If I wasn't so blinded by a crush, being from my clan especially, I should have seen that from a mile away. Despite that setback, you seem to be helping him find some peace of mind."

Sakura blushes faintly and looks away. "I-I guess so. I've been helping Naruto just as much, I think. He's dealt with a lot over the years, and he's a much better person than we all used to think."

"Despite that horrifying prank…" Ino pales and shudders as she recalls that horrible day. The oil. The speedo. That leathery, sagging skin. No matter how much therapy she gets, she can never truly recover from such a sight. She smacks both her cheeks lightly to snap herself out of it. "He's… yeah, he's a cooler guy than I used to think. Still a nutcase, though."

"Oh, no, that's gotten twenty times worse. You should see what he's got planned for the day of the Chuunin Exam tournament."

.

* * *

.

Nara Shikaku sits on his back porch in the dead of night as he has a smoke with Sarutobi Asuma. The forms for the new training module sit between them on a glass coffee table. "That's quite the setup, Asuma. Personally, I'm all for it, and as lazy as my son is, I doubt he'll be able to argue with the logic of it. Sure you're ready for this?"

Asuma takes a deep drag and nods as he blows it out. "More than ready. Honestly, it'll be nice to get to know the other kids. I wanna see the full breadth of this generation's potential." He smirks. "And we're gonna bring every ounce of it to the surface."

Shikaku narrows his eyes a bit. "That's fine and dandy, but I've never seen you this eager about training. You've got something else on your mind right now, don't you?"

"Hmph…" Asuma shrugs and slouches a bit in his seat. "Maybe so."

"Something to do with Kurenai?"

Asuma chokes on his next drag. "Ugh, shit, seriously? I thought we were stealthier than that!"

"Kid, you've got a long way to go before you're sneaky enough to hide from the greatest shadow master in the world." Shikaku snuffs out the last embers of his cigarette. "So then… I suppose things are going well on that front."

He sighs deeply and nods. "Yeah, yeah they are. She's kind of giddy herself, 'cuz Yugao and Gekko just got news of a kid with potential ninja skill in need of adoption in Nami no Kuni. Those two have been trying forever, and settled on adoption a while ago, but it's kinda tough to find kids to adopt nowadays that're alright with being taken in by shinobi and dealing with this lifestyle, ya know?" He uprights himself in his seat. "And Kurenai… well, she's gotten a lead from Anko on someone she should train tomorrow to try and reforge some long-lost family relations. I might train the kid too, since it seems he's already picking up on one of my specialties."

Shikaku runs through the list of genin in his head and quickly smirks at the realization of who it must be. "Well I'll be damned. Tomorrow's looking interesting enough I'll have to stop by and watch a bit." He pushes himself up from his seat and saunters back inside. "Get home and sleep already. Considering the class you'll be dealing with, those students might exhaust you by day's end."

Asuma grins into the sky, deciding to stay for a few more minutes before moving on towards home. "Yeah? Well, I look forward to it."


	18. Fated Fools Fooling Fate

When asking a shinobi their opinion on fate, you can come across a myriad of answers. Some say that your heritage and talent determine your fate. Some will say Fate is a fickle goddess. Others would call Fate a cruel hag who makes fools of mankind for her own entertainment. Some believe fate to be a lie altogether, just a series of coincidences and mathematical probabilities that people take advantage of to say a higher power of some sort is in command.

The wisest of them will tell you that fate does indeed exist, but it is determined by no god or predetermined force. Fate is determined by one's flaws. A fool is fated to be ruined by their foolishness. The overconfident are fated to die in circumstances beyond their ability. The blindly honor-bound are fated to die for their cause. The drunks are fated to stumble into harm's way and the sleazy are fated to be alone.

But fate can be offset. If flaws determine one's fate, then the strength of others can cover those weaknesses and allow fate to be averted and changed for the better, all in the name of kindness. The fool can be taught by the wise. The overconfident can be brought to earth by the experienced and stern. The honor-bound can be set free by the boundless. Drunks are guided by the sober and the sleazy find solace in a chaste soul.

Today, as the lives of the children who will one day come to be known as Konoha no Juu Ni no Sensō Genri (Konoha's 12 Principles of War) are set on their paths, so changes the fate of an avenger by the heart of a truly selfless woman.

But first, an idiot argues with a voice in his head.

"Damnit fox, for the last fucking time, I'm not good enough at sealing yet to figure this shit out!" Naruto screams at the top of his lungs, echoing through his mindscape. It even causes the bars of the bijuu's cage to reverberate a bit. He roughly scratches his head with both hands, somehow making his untamed hair even more of a mess. "I get that you want a more direct line to me, but I don't get this seal enough to do that! I can see if Jiraiya can modify it next time we see him, but I'm stumped!"

The Kyuubi grumbles as he lays across the bars from Naruto, staring him down. **"Well, if you can't change this seal to allow it, what about making a new one? You make seals that mess with chakra in dozens of different ways all the time, and I'm a chakra being sealed into a purely mental and metaphysical form! There's got to be SOME way you can let me bypass the silencing seal and speak to you directly without having to use my chakra in combat!"**

Naruto goes silent as he contemplates that route. Cogs and flywheels above in the abyss of his mindscape begin to piece together, illuminating more and more of the endless expanse above. He's noted this phenomenon before, that he can see up higher each time he comes to understand something more about this seal and about himself. A lot of progress has already been made on that front, yet he feels he's no closer to the top than before, if there even is one. Regardless, when the last cog fits into place, a new seal structure lights up on the wall high above. "Yeah… yeah, I think I've got one." It shifts slightly on the wall, parts breaking away and being replaced every few seconds. "It'd have to be a temporary seal at first, or something I can have marked into a cloth strip to wear under my clothes, and pull the top part out of my collar before attaching it under my headband."

The Kyuubi hums as he considers that structure. **"That… might work. It would be a bit unreliable until you manage to find a way to work a route directly into my current seal, but it would work as long as you have it attached on both ends. What about a communicative output? Let me hijack your mouth to speak directly as long as you allow it?"**

Naruto scowls a bit as he thinks that over. "Eeeeeh I dunno. Don't want ya saying something creepy through my mouth. I mean, I might be able to channel your mental chakra directly to my mouth and throat to override me, but it'll still be kinda tough. I'll need some input on mind control seals for that." He tilts back to think it over. "I'll ask Ino to invite me over to ask her dad a few things and see what he can provide."

 **"Works for now. You should wake up and get going though, I just started hearing your alarm."** He reaches a claw through the bars and flicks Naruto with it before he can flee far enough, getting him right where the sun don't shine and snapping him awake instantly.

Naruto bolts upright and stares at his new bedroom's wall for a moment before Yoko peeks up to him from his lap and growls. "Yeah, yeah, I know. He's an asshole, but he's our asshole." He grumbles and pets Yoko nearly back to sleep before picking her up, draping her over his hunched shoulders, and marching out to the kitchen for breakfast.

.

* * *

.

Half an hour later, Naruto rushes out of the dining room with Yoko in his hood, catching up with Sasuke on their way out of the Uchiha compound. "Yo, Sasuke!" He stumbles to slow down to his teammate's pace. "Thanks again for letting us move in here. I.." He pauses. "… Besides Iruka adopting me, it's… it's the kindest thing anyone's ever done for me." And there it is again. His rare soft, genuine smile, shining through his mask far brighter than the ear-to-ear grin he usually hides behind. "A few months ago, I never would've thought you could do anything like this."

Sasuke huffs and shakes his head. "Just don't go advertising it, ok? My fangirls would be even worse than usual in no-time if you did."

Naruto cringes and shudders. "Oof… yeah, no way I'm doin that. I wouldn't wish that on anyone." Yoko yips in agreement. "Still… don't expect I'll take it sitting down. I'll repay you somehow, man. Bet on it."

Sasuke turns his head away and doubles his pace. "Repay me by living a better life in that building than anyone's been able to give my clan's compound in seven years.."

Naruto stumbles to a stop. Something in Sasuke's tone was… final. He'd come to a decision, or realization, of something critical recently and it's hitting him hard. For a moment, he wants to reach out and address it, but something in Sasuke's posture tells him he'd only cause more damage if he asked now. For now, he just catches up and stays by his best friend's side. His presence should be enough for now, until he's ready.

.

* * *

.

Team Seven's usual training ground is shockingly full that morning when the two of them arrive. Of course, Hinata notices Naruto from a mile away, so her turning red alerts Sakura to their presence and gets her turned around to greet them. For some reason, rather than alone beneath a tree with no sensei in sight as per usual, she stands in the midst of a small crowd of genin and four jonin, Kakashi included. "Hey, what took you two so long? Don't tell me you and Iruka were up watching horror movies with Anko again."

Naruto gapes like a fish for a moment, but shakes himself out of it and facepalms. "One goddamn time. One!" He points and narrows a glare as he steps up to her. "Bring it up again, and I'll crazy glue a zombie print to your bedroom window!"

Sakura gasps and steps back. "You wouldn't dare."

"You know me, Pinkie. I would. And I'd put a different one there each time you remove it at random intervals for months."

Sasuke nods. "Don't temp him, you know he will. He once replaced random tomatoes I'd harvested with wax ones, and when I caught on, he put an entire wax replica tomato plant in my garden."

Kakashi peeks up from his book. "Where the hell did you get one of those? Did you _make it_?"

Naruto grins and nods smugly, arms crossed as he feigns sage-like wisdom. "Truly one of my greatest masterpieces. Not the best payoff, but still satisfying." He freezes up as a heavy bandaged hand lands on his shoulder.

He peeks back to find Chouji channeling enough killing intent for his eyes to glow through his narrowed scowl. "Your pranks are great Naruto but _don't you dare mess with a man's food._ "

He blanches and nods. "R-Right… I'll keep that in mind, Chouji. Reserved only for critical revenge pranks against people who deserve having their food ruined." As Choji scares the shit out of her partner, Yoko jumps down from his hood and trots over to Hinata, who eagerly kneels to pet her.

Chouji glares for a few moments, but nods and lights up almost instantly. "Well, I trust ya to reserve it only for dire cases. So how ya been, man? Barely seen ya since graduation."

"Oh, I'm pretty great!" Yoko yips from her new perch ins Hinata's arms. "Career's been interesting so far. Wait until I tell ya about the mission we just got back from. But first-" He turns to the crowd. "The HELL is everyone doing here?!"

Shikamaru sags and grumbles. "Damnit, Naruto, it's too early for you to be screaming at us. I have it bad enough with Ino on my team."

"WHAT?!"

"You heard me as well as everyone just heard you. As for why we're all here, we haven't been told yet." He turns to stare at Asuma, who's just giving him a knowing smirk.

"Well, everyone necessary is here now, so I guess we can get started." He almost lights a cigarette, but Kurenai snuffs it out with a flick and leaves him to stash it away for later. "For those of you unfamiliar with me, I'm Sarutobi Asuma, sensei of Team Ten and son of the Sandaime. My dad's decided it's time to renovate the genin training program and start a new system that'll be sure to help you all grow faster and more successfully than any generation of shinobi before you."

Gai throws out his _Nice Gai Pose™_ to pick up where Asuma left off. "We'll all be taking turns training whoever wants to work on our specialized fields, so you can all get help with whatever skills you have that your usual sensei don't! Asuma is a specialist on elemental chakra manipulation, and I'm the village's top taijutsu specialist!"

Kurenai pushes Gai's arm down and cuts in. "I'm Konoha's resident genjutsu mistress, and Kakashi has the largest jutsu catalog in the village short of our Hokage. With all of us combined, you've got access to everything but a med nin, weapons training, and poi-"

"Did someone call for the poisonous seductress-" A beige blur barrels into the field and throws up a banner that pins to two trees on the border to present the invading nutcase's name. "Mitarashi Anko?!"

Naruto's eye twitches. "… Anko… Did you hide this training program from me last night… and then tail us here just to crash it?"

"Yes."

"You do know I know where you sleep and everything you're allergic to, right?"

Silence falls in the field for a few moments until Kiba shatters it with his mallet-blunt manners. "Uh, Naruto, you gonna introduce the babe, or-"

He's slugged into silence by Tenten. "Down, mutt."

Lee pouts. "Most unyouthful, Kiba-kun." He tilts his head. "Or maybe too youthful in the wrong direction?"

Kurenai shakes her head. "Asuma, be as rough with him as you want during your training today. He deserves it."

"Ok, enough gawking." Kakashi steps up and puts his book away. "Anko, you're welcome to stay, but you're not on the docket today. You're being scheduled for a session later this week, while we look for a med nin and a few weapon specialists. For now though." He turns and gazes across the horde of twelve genin. Each holds an incredible potential, and he can see it so easily, without his sharingan. Everyone here can become someone great, but for now, they're wrought iron that he and his comrades have to refine into cutting steel. "… Let's get to work. Line up for your first three hours with whoever you prefer."

.

* * *

.

Kakashi Hatake soon finds himself off to the north of the training ground property with a team of three he was honestly quite surprised to work with. The next generation of the legendary InoShikaCho trio stands before him with… not confidence or determination burning in their eyes, but something of a similar caliber that really contrasts with their lackadaisical presentation. One keep his hands in his pockets and stares off into space, one is munching away on his fifth bag of chips in the last hour (did Chouza even have that kind of appetite as a kid?) and the girl is just looking like she's got as many plans running through her head as his own blonde brat, but she's a bit more troubled by them. He hums to himself as he scans across them all. "Well, this is quite the coincidence. Something tell me the three of you planned to work with me for something very specific."

Shikamaru nods with stern certainty. "We all agreed that our sensei is really lacking in one department that you specialize in."

"Oh?" He tilts his head and stares down his masked nose at them. "And what would that be?"

Ino narrows her eyes a bit. "Variety. Asuma may be strong and skilled, but the only broad thing about his stature is his shoulders." She huffs and start to almost claw at the air with her frustration. "He's barely got any idea how to do half of what we're looking for outside our clan jutsu! Most of what he can do for us is a ways off, we're nowhere near where we need to be with elemental manipulation to make our own jutsu from scratch with it, but his jutsu list is shorter than-"

Shikamaru cuts in. "Your temper?"

She gives him the stink eye, but groans and hangs her head. "Yes, my temper."

Chouji chuckles softly through a full mouth. "Honestly, Asuma might be great, but he's really hands-off and hasn't worked with our clan members much thanks to all his time away from the village in the Twelve Guardian Shinobi." He takes another bite. "But we've heard of you through all our parents, we know you've worked with them a lot, so you've gotta have some good ideas of how our jutsu work and what goes well with them."

Kakashi slowly grins beneath his mask. "Oh, you three are going to be wonderful. Alright, so you're looking for jutsu that go well in conjunction with what your clans do, and fitting your own elements? That, I can easily do." He slowly pushes up his headband and exposes his eye. "I've copied more than enough jutsu to give you all the best arsenals you could ask for. So let's get started."

.

* * *

.

On the far east end of the training ground, Kurenai sits before four shinobi she's unsure what to think of. Two of them were obvious students, really. Sakura was sure to come to her for her developing genjutsu prowess and chakra control. Sasuke, as an Uchiha, has vast potential in the field as well, that he's just recently unlocked, according to Kakashi. Then there's the fact Anko insisted she pay a lot of attention to him today, if at all possible. Now she'll get that chance. The other two confuse her, though. The only reason she can see for Naruto coming to her is to stick with his team, but that just doesn't suit what she's heard of him through her own students. He'd clearly think critically enough to go somewhere more effective for his own style, so why her? And Lee confuses her even more for much the same reason. She's the complete antithesis of her skill set, so what the hell is he doing here? She couldn't help but be impressed with Lee's new style, though. He's apparently started growing his hair out again, about as long as Hinata's now, and it makes a world of difference compared to the bowl cut. Although he's still wearing the green jumpsuit, he's opted for a sleeveless version topped with a white gi and maroon belt, pulling together a surprisingly good look for him when topped with the maroon legwarmers. "Alright… So what are each of your plans with me today, then? I'd like to try and personalize all of your lesson plans, if I can."

Sakura shrugs. "Honestly, I just need a wider range of genjutsu than Kakashi knows. Ones with specific preset effects that I don't have to focus on as much as the Magen: Koko ni Arazu. (Demon Illusion: False Surroundings) It's versatile, but maintaining it in combat can be kind of a pain."

"Ugh, you don't have to tell me that." She grumbles. "Ok, yeah, I have a few in mind for you in that case." She turns to Sasuke and smiles softly. "And you're looking for some that you can easily use with your sharingan, then."

"Hmm… largely, but not exactly. I want to learn more about the foundations of genjutsu to make some of my own that work well with my close-to-mid range combat style."

She pauses at that thought. "That's... quite the goal. Meshing genjutsu and close combat is a difficult task, save for when you cast ones that trick the opponent into thinking they're bound. Most of those ones are quite costly…" She bites her lip and hums. "… but you do have a larger chakra pool than most genjutsu users, and a trap specialist in the team to make them seem more likely to be true." She smirks. "Brilliant, honestly. Nobody will see it coming from your combat style, and it'll be a great ace up your sleeve." Sasuke can't help but smirk at that phrase, then snort as he watches her face fall upon turning towards the remaining two. "So what are you two doing here of all places, then?"

Naruto lays back in the grass with one leg propped up on his other knee. "Simple. I have a bit of a weakness for genjutsu and need to learn to fight it off better. I have an idea or two, but need to test them. So I'll make clones to be everyone's practice dummies."

Lee nods eagerly. "Although I am incapable of making clones, I too want to work past my weakness for genjutsu by acting as a target for my comrades. Hopefully, it will help us all to be more successful in both casting them and escaping them."

Kurenai's taken aback by their enthusiasm for playing the targets in this scenario. Yes, it's necessary to do with genjutsu practice but she suspected she'd have to make students take turns for it. This is a hell of a lot easier. "Um.. alright. Well, no need for clones then, Naruto-"

"Oh, there is." He cuts in. "I need to observe my clone to see how their resistance to the genjutsu works and looks from the outside."

"Hmm.. An odd method, but…" She shrugs it off. "Seems you're got a decent idea what you're doing. No experience with shadow clones myself, don't quite have the chakra capacity for it." She snaps her fingers, and suddenly, all of them realize their surroundings are completely different from what they believed, standing by a waterfall instead of in standard, nondescript woods, and Kurenai is actually behind them. "but you've all got a long way to go in this department, so let's stop babbling and get to work."

"RIGHT!" Naruto instantly makes a eleven clones, sending six to the side while himself and five others remain near Kurenai. "Fire away at the six of us whenever you're ready!"

Sasuke can't help but slowly grin at that opportunity. "Oh, I'm going to make you see the most awful things you've ever witnessed, Naruto."

Sakura nods as she steps up beside him. "I second that. Payback time for Chuckles the Ass Clown."

Naruto slowly pales, as do his clones, but he's quickly in the receiving end of every genjutsu they both already know, mainly the False Surroundings and Hell Viewing jutsu.

Kurenai is instantly unsure what to think of Sasuke. She's intrigued, but also deeply worried as she watches more closely. At first, there's a clear, rivalrous bond between him and Naruto, but… there's a malice deep beneath it all that slowly surfaces, some resentment towards his comrade, that she feels is a more recent addition to their relationship. She peeks aside to Anko, hidden amongst the trees, and receives a curt and grim nod. Anko knows what's up with Sasuke, and relays what she can through a series of Anbu-standard hand signals mixed with letter-by-letter sign language to fill in blanks that aren't covered by Anbu strategic protocol.

She's snapped out of her thought for a moment as the real Naruto swears in pain as he's brought out of a genjutsu by Yoko biting his ear.

.

* * *

.

In the southern reaches of the grounds, Asuma raises an eyebrow at his own three. He's not surprised by two of them, but one is a bit of a shocker. For one, there's Naruto. He saw the stunt the boy pulled, sending a clone off with Kurenai earlier. A smooth move to be sure, and left him assured that he was dealing with the original Naruto in his own party. He was surely here to work on his wind chakra with the village's own expert in that field. Next was Higurashi Tenten. Quite the girl, considering what he's heard. He got his trench knives from her father's shop, a custom order, and she's been working in there and learning every weapon type she can for quite a few years. Her talents in that field would be wonderfully applied to his specialty of elemental chakra weapon augmentation. But then there's Hyuuga Neji. He may be of the branch house, but just one look says he's as much of a traditionalist in his clan's ways as possible, and therefore not likely to really the type to take much to any of what he has to teach. So why would he be here? "So…" He takes a drag of his cigarette. "What brings you here, Neji? I get the other two, but you're a mystery."

He scoffs and narrows his eyes. "I wanted to see the prowess of Hokage-dono's own prodigal son, compared to the buffoon I work with on a daily basis. Some guidance from someone more competent and logical would be a wonderful change of pace."

"Neji!" Tenten scolds her teammate, getting in his face. "What the hell is wrong with you? Gai sensei might be eccentric, but he's a perfectly fine sensei!"

Naruto grumbles. "Not cool, Neji." He crosses his arms. "Bushy Brow Sensei might be weird, but he's an Elite Jonin for a reason. I get if ya don't like his methods, but that's nothing to talk shit about him for."

Neji's eyes narrow on Naruto. "As expected, a destined failure idolizes a fool who fought their way through the ranks to a position they don't deserve."

This nearly sets Naruto off into a rant, but he cools himself off quickly and instead of blowing over her just simmers and glares daggers into Neji's unerring eyes. "You've just made a powerful enemy, Neji. I hope you know that."

Neji scoffs and looks back to Asuma, straight ahead. "Powerful how? Your traps mean nothing to my eyes. I can see every one of them long before I'm close enough to set them off. Your skill set is abysmal and won't get you anywhere in this career."

Silence falls as Naruto's glare darkens until red seeps into his eyes. He then hears a voice in his mind. "As much as I want you to tear that arrogant white-eyed bastard a new asshole, it's best you not. Prove him wrong in your own way, brat." He calms down to a simmer again as the Kyuubi's words. He doesn't even dignify Neji with a response.

He instead turns to Asuma with a devious smirk. "If you can make clones, I suggest you split us up to teach us individually."

Asuma's eyes narrow, but he quickly nods and conjures his own Kage Bunshin. "Ya think I wouldn't have picked this one up from my dad? One of his favorites too, after all."

.

* * *

.

In the west, Gai stands before Kurenai's entire team, grinning down to them with arms crossed and unwavering excitement. "Wonderful to see you all here! Hinata-chan, it's grand to finally meet you. Your cousin has been most unyouthful when speaking of you, and I fully intend to help you prove his arrogance!" He gives her the Nice Gai ™ thumbs-up before pointing to Kiba. "Kiba-kun, your clan's focus on raw instinct in combat has done well, but a proper martial style can be blended into instinct quite well if you drill it hard enough, and the physical conditioning would do you a world of good!" He steps towards Shino and crouches fast enough to power-slide on his feet for a foot or two, looking absolutely giddy and right up in his face. "And Shino-kun! What brings one of the prestigiously strategic Aburame to my class today?"

Shino stares blankly through his shades for a moment, but sighs and pulls his dominant hand- his left- from his pockets and flexes it. "Taijutsu has always been one of my clan's greatest weaknesses. This is something I intend to subvert, and to do so, I would need a specialist's insight. Suggestions for a style or two to utilize, how to condition myself safely enough to not risk my hives, and so-on." He huffs. "If you're not too squeamish to hear it, I'll tell you the details of internal hive management in private. My father's praise of your loyalty is enough for me to believe you worthy of hearing such clan secrets."

Gai throws him another thumbs-up. "Incredible! This is going to be the most unique training I've ever assisted with! Now…" He backs up to face them all with open arms. "Let your Fires of Youth burn bright! Ten laps around this training ground, and then, we'll get to a few spars so I can determine your perfect combat forms!"

.

* * *

.

Three hours later, the four sensei and twelve students meet back up, only for Kurenai to look between the two Naruto on hand in confusion, before the one next to her pops into a cloud of smoke. The real Naruto grins ear to ear and folds his arms behind his head. "Thanks for the lessons, Kurenai-sensei! Seems at least one of my theories was right. The other's still kinda inconclusive, though…"

Sakura nods and with a smug grin. "The Red Burst method worked pretty well, should be easier for you than the clones."

Sasuke hums thoughtfully. "Could be dangerous, but no more so leaving yourself stuck in a genjutsu to get caught unaware."

Kakashi pats his student's back. "It's good practice for using that skill more often and easily, regardless. Now, everyone split up to meet with different sensei than your last one, and we'll split up for another three hours of training. After that, you'll all have the rest of your days off. Next week, we'll have a few more specialists on hand to suit less common skills."

Naruto nods and saunters to the one sensei he hadn't already worked with, finding Choji and Sakura also following him to Gai. "So, bushy-brow, sure you're got enough energy to keep up with me?"

He huffs. "Naruto, you might be one of the only students with enough stamina to keep up with me, but not quite the strength and speed to ensure it. We'll have to work on those. Sakura, you especially need work in that field, and Chouji, as speed is far from necessary for your clan's skill set, we'll be focusing more on strength for you." He turns and waves for them to follow him back to his corner of the grounds. "So, is there anything specific each of you is looking for?"

Sakura crosses her arms and hangs her head. "Honestly, I just need to improve my weakest trait so I can keep up with the others."

Chouji munches down another handful of chips, refueling the chakra he spent in his three hours with Kakashi. "I need to improve how much weight and force I can handle, and improve my blocking proficiency. I need to be able to catch and either cancel or deflect anything that comes at me."

Gai peeks back with a grin. "Oooh? Going for traditional Sumo methods then, are you? I can certainly help with that. It's far from a style I'm proficient with, grappling isn't quite me, but I know the foundations of it well enough to help you work you way up to mastering that art in short order." He peeks over his other shoulder. "And what of you, Naruto-kun?"

Naruto sighs and tilts his head back, staring at the sky. "I dunno. I've always been pretty good in taijutsu. Sasuke and Kiba were the only ones in our class that could consistently beat me, but I don't really have any finesse, any style. But if I do take one up, I want it to be something as unpredictable as the rest of my skills."

"Hmm.." Gai hangs his head and scratches his scalp a bit. "Unpredictable, huh?" He thinks it over for a few moments. "That's difficult. There's only two truly unpredictable styles I know of, and one won't suit you at all. The Drunken Fist is a very rare talent you have to be a natural with, and I know a certain… condition of yours prevents you from getting drunk to begin with."

"Eeeeh it's certainly hard. I've heard from a certain toad that there's one stash of booze that could do it, but it's hard to get your hands on and tastes like downing a cup of burning oil."

Gai shudders at that. "Remind me not to let Jiraiya near Lee. As for the other style, that would be Monkey style. There's only one person in the entire village who can teach you that one, ever since… well, since the youngest practitioner died in combat several years ago."

Naruto instantly goes silent as he recalls the Hokage's second son. Konohamaru's father. His loss was quite the event in this village. His funeral was vast and the mourning lasted for days, even among the shinobi ranks. It's still unknown who managed to kill him, but Naruto always got the sense that Jiji knew who had done it, and refused to publicize it. There was murder in his eyes for weeks.

But, that also means the one person left to teach this style is none other than the Sandaime Hokage himself. Naruto sighs and nods faintly. "I'll have to speak with him soon, then. For now, though... do you know any Wind or Earth styles I could learn to incorporate into it?"

This slowly brings a grin to his face. "A meshing of three styles, with the most unpredictable as the foundation? Oh, I cannot wait to see the results!" He cheers to the skies. "Very well, then! I'll be teaching you Feng Shou and Hung Gar Kuen! They mesh together surprisingly well, with Feng Shou focusing on deflection and meshing well with chop-focused styles and easily adapted into one, while Hung Gar Kuen is very grounded, direct, and impactful! Both use mid to low stances and mesh well with the foundation of Monkey!" He turns and points to Sakura. "And you, dear, will be learning a mesh of styles that surfaced in recent years which appears to be optimal for self-defense, guard positions, and maintaining control in extremely close quarters. It's called Krav Maga, and I just know you're going to have fun learning this one!"

Suddenly, three distinct sets of explosions go off at the other corners of the training ground, followed by a scream of rage from a high-pitched blonde in the distance. Naruto just grins ear-to-ear. "I love my job. I really do."

.

* * *

.

Back in the northern corner of the grounds, Kakashi picks pieces of kelp from his hair as he addresses his next set of students. Lee Is grinning ear to ear at Naruto's prank, finding his comrade's trapping skills to be something of a marvel. Hinata can't help but giggle faintly at it all, despite her misfortune of getting a fish dropped on her head by Naruto's "Pond Bomb". Neji on the other hand is ignoring the mess of kelp and even a snail on his own head purely out of spite, narrowing a glare onto Hinata. "Cousin, it is unbecoming of you to support that fool's mechanisms. You're the heiress. Act like it for once, and the council may hate you a little less." He huffs. "Maybe you'll even be able to keep your seat instead of losing it to Hinabi."

This knocks the smile straight off her face. She instantly sinks into herself, staring at the ground as the water in her hair drips to her feet. Lee is taken aback by Neji's hateful words to his own family, but Kakashi cuts in before he can say a word. "Neji…" There's venom in his voice. "Hinata is your family and comrade. Do not speak down to her in my presence, or I assure you, you'll be receiving far more than training from me today."

Despite being entirely outclassed, Neji turns his glare upon his new sensei. "About that. You consider my sensei your comrade as well, and apparently, he calls you his rival. How is it that you, the most elite jonin we have, not only accept that green buffoon as your rival, but allow that orange charlatan to run free with his juvenile antics and still call him a shinobi, let alone your student?"

Kakashi falls silent for a few moments as he lets Neji's words sink in. He's worked plenty with the Hyuuga clan before. Judgmental. Traditional to a fault. There's a few idioms around the village about them ritualistically getting rods up their asses at birth to keep their backs straight and attitudes constantly sour. Neji instantly proves himself to be that clan's ideals pushed to extremes. There's no breaking that kind of mentality without a complete existential crisis. For now, Kakashi's only weapon against him is to use his own words against him. "So you think my friend and my student both fools, do you? Fine then." He slowly stands and cracks hic knuckles. "While my clones attend to the other two, I'll be coming at you with nothing but their skills that I happen to share, and I'll show you just how strong a fool can be."

.

* * *

.

Kurenai coughs up the last few bits of glitter she accidentally inhaled from the initial blast. "Dear god, how did Naruto get that much?"

Tenten rubs some of it between her fingers. "Hmmm… Well, thankfully, this is the kind made from seaweed. Biodegradeable, it'll be gone in a few weeks without us having to clean anything."

"Good…" Shikamaru lays in the grass, eyes still closed, and completely covered in glitter he hasn't bothered to brush off. "Too troublesome to clean all of this."

Ino finally makes her way back from the nearby stream, but there's still some glitter in her hair. "Ugh, he HAD to get the ultra-fine stuff!" She huffs. "At least once you get rid of most of it, it's a half-decent fashion statement." She grumbles and crosses her arms. "Anyway… let's just get to training."

"WAIT!" Tenten jumps up. "Before we start…" She pulls a notebook from a seal inside her left pocket and holds it up to Kurenai with a pen. "Can I please get your autograph? I've always admired you for being our top jonin kunoichi! Your signature in here could only be beaten by Tsunade-sama herself!"

Kurenai blushes faintly, but she can't help but grin at that enthusiasm. "Well, I hope I can help you be half as good as I am! Alright, why not? Wow…" She takes the book and pen to fill in one of the later pages, already labeled with her name. "This is actually the first time anyone's asked this of me…"

.

* * *

.

Kiba is still struggling to breathe through his hoodie as an atrocious stench drifts across Asuma's corner of the grounds. Sasuke is as nonplussed as ever, just ignoring it as best he can. Shino on the other hand is plugging his nose with his kikaichu, and Asuma is fending it off with the smell of his cigarette. "Hmm… not a bad mix, Naruto. Pretty sure he had to hunt a few skunks for some of the ingredients in this one."

"I know he did." Sasuke grumbles. "He was bragging about this one for weeks."

Kiba roars to the skies. "I'm gonna kick his ass the moment this training's over!"

"I would advise against that." Shino cuts in, pushing up his glasses. "You'll only become a victim of an even worse, very targeted prank."

"He's right." Sasuke side-eyes the Inuzaka. "Best to just leave it be."

"Well…" Asuma puffs out a plume of smoke. "Best way to distract yourself from something like this is extreme training. So, what are each of you after?"

Kiba keeps the cloth of his hoodie up over his mouth and nose. "Akamaru and I are both looking to learn to channel our elemental chakra into our claws." The pup cowering in his hood nods.

Asuma raises an eyebrow. "Both of you? Never trained a ninken before. Never heard of one using an element, either… but I'd love to see where it goes. Alright, then. And how about you, Shino?"

"A similar quandary." He raises his hand, showing a horde of kikaichu feeding from the chakra he channels to it. "I intend to produce enough elemental chakra to feed it to my kikaichu and produce hives that specialize in those elements."

Asuma's jaw slacks and almost drops his cigarette. "Whoa… you really are Shiki's kid. He must be proud of you for a plan that merges insanity and logic so fluidly." He sighs and shakes his head. "Alright, I suppose that'll do, then. And Sasuke?"

"Actually, I have a really different request." He reaches into his left pocket and pulls out none other than the Raijin no Ken, sparking it to life. "I've heard you channel wind chakra into those trench knives. That'd make you the perfect sparring partner for me to train with this against without shocking you."

Asuma slowly steps closer to inspect the legendary weapon. "Well I'll be damned. Kakashi told me my dad let you keep this, but I never expected to see it. You've got yourself a deal, kid." He puffs up one more plume of smoke before producing two clones to split up the training. "Let's get to work." He grins as Sasuke draw his tsurugi in his right hand and channels lightning chakra into that as well. He instantly knows he'll have fun with this kid. Skilled, ambitious, quiet, courteous, yet far from condescending with any of those properties. For the next three hours, the only thing that sours his joy with this training session is sparks of anger that seep through into his combat, pushing him into more violent attacks and reckless strategies.

.

* * *

.

Shortly after two PM, the twelve students and their four sensei separate. Hinata reluctantly returns Yoko to Naruto after nearly half an hour of everyone just mingling in the central field. Sasuke turns away to head home first, having been standing aside and not talking to anyone for the last ten minutes. His leave grabs Naruto's attention, but then he recalls the plans he made with the Kyuubi that morning and bolts to Ino. "Hey, real quick! Any chance I can follow you back home to speak with your dad? I've got a few critical questions for him that'll be pretty important for some seals I'm working on." Yoko leaps back up into his hood, leaving Naruto stumbling back for a moment from the sudden weight pulling at his shoulders.

Ino hums and tilts her head as she thinks it over. "He didn't have any meetings after one or missions today, so… I think he should be open for that. Sure, I'll guide ya there. On one condition, though!" She leans into his face. "You need to tell me everything you can about the Kage Bunshin no Jutsu. I need it to pull together my own technique I'm working on."

Naruto backs away as she leans in so close, but nods eagerly. "O-Of course! Let's get going!" He turns back to everyone else. "See you all in two days! And Hinata, we gotta test out wind chakra against each other sometime! I gotta see how good you've gotten!"

Hinata turns away to try and hide how red her face has gotten, but calls out to him regardless. "M-Maybe t-tomorrow?"

"Sure! See ya here at three?"

"O-Of course, Naruto-kun!" She waves to him as he leaves, and everyone slowly breaks away to enjoy the remainder of their days- all save for Neji, who's in excruciating pain from getting his ass beaten into next week by Kakashi for three hours, and instead started limping home immediately after training.

But two of the sensei break away together, tracking Sasuke's slow route back to the Uchiha compound. Kurenai is biting her index finger as she thinks over everything she saw today. "… You know what Anko had in mind when she suggested we pay attention to Sasuke, don't you?"

He nods somberly. "Yes, I do. And we both know at least part of how he feels." He almost lights another cigarette, but huffs and puts it away when she glares at him. "You with the loss of family… and me with feeling like what family I had and looked up to most betrayed me. He's in a really bad place, 'nai. He needs our help."

"I know, but…" She bites a bit harder. "Are we… are we ready for something like that? I mean, we aren't even-" She stops herself short, but Asuma cuts in.

"Married? Yeah… but who says we need to be? We can still take care of him… if he lets us. For now, we just keep helping him, getting closer, seeing if he'll let us…" He gently caresses her cheek and turns her to face him. "and if our status means that much to you in this… then fuck the risk of you having my name. We'll just have to be strong enough that no assassin would dare make a move on you for having it."

Her eyes go wide as she gazes deep into his half-lidded hazels. All her shinobi training goes out the window, and tears well in her eyes. "A-Asuma… d.. d-do you really mean that?"

He slowly nods. "Seeing that kid today reminded me of everything I've lost, that I stupidly left behind… and everything I have to gain. So yes. I've never been so sure of anything in my life."

For an experienced career shinobi, acting on anything in broad daylight is rarely a good idea, but on this day, they change the fate of the world with a passionate kiss in the open air of Konoha's shopping district, turning heads and stilling hearts. Although in that moment it is merely a burst of joy and love unbridled, in the years to come it will be an Avenger once again a son, a Martyr off his cross, an estranged found family never to be broken, and the plans of a snake in the grass and a mole in the roots both undone.


	19. Cascading Change

"Ok, I know what I asked for didn't sound the best." Naruto sits tied to a chair in the Yamanaka clan compound. Specifically, he's in Inouichi's private office, shortly after Ino had dropped him off to speak with her father. His arms are bound behind him and several suppression seals now litter his body. He always wondered what clan provided most of those for the Anbu. Guess that's answered now. "But really, this is unnecessary." He blows at the seal hanging over his face. "Really tired of doing this Jiangshi impression."

Inouichi keeps a kunai in hand as he watches Naruto from a distance. "You should be silent until the Hokage gets here to discuss whatever the hell is wrong with your seal for the fox to convince you to make me dive in to be his snack."

He snorts. "You're one of the few people of high rank that he actively knows of in this village that's not on his 'to eat' list, actually. Hokage-jiji barely squeaked by getting on it cuz he respects the man enough to overshadow the bullshit that got thrown at him when he was possessed during the attack when I was born."

Inouichi pauses. "… Wait... possessed?"

"I was hoping you'd pick up on that quick." Naruto shrugs. "Long story short, sharingan."

Inouichi slowly picks up his jaw and narrows his eyes. "… That's… quite the serious accusation. Yet none left to accuse, as there's only two Uchiha alive, and neither responsible."

"Yeah, I know. Still, once Jiji gets here. He'll confirm it. And probably tell you to do what I've asked for anyway."

"No." He spins his kunai a bit. "Still not falling for that one."

"You might, actually." Hiruzen opens the sliding door and steps through into the office. "Nothing to really fall for, he's being perfectly honest, if a bit forward and stupid with his methods."

"Well I'm sorry there's no safe way to ask someone to talk to the demon in your head." Naruto huffs and hangs his head. "Now can you please untie me so we can get this over with?"

Hiruzen pauses and peeks behind Naruto. "I don't think I need to."

"Yeah, I know." The ropes start falling around him and he stands while shaking his wrists before pulling the suppression seals off one by one. "Ugh, that hurt a bit. If not for my healing factor, you woulda been cued in by the blood from my failed attempts at cutting the ropes with wind chakra." He cracks his stiff neck. "I'm lucky you put most of the suppressing seals on my head and stomach to deal with the fox. Neglecting my hands made that escape method kind of obvious."

Inouichi stammers aimlessly as he looks between Naruto and the Hokage. "How… Why are you supporting this?"

Hiruzen chuckles softly as he reaches out to rub Naruto's sore shoulders, gently comforting his adoptive grandson to silently apologize for the hassle tonight. Naruto seems to lose his cocky façade and soften up on contact. "Because I'm impressed how much he's taking after one of my students."

That shuts Inouichi right up. He knows all too well that Hiruzen means Jiraiya, so he knows to keep a close eye on this unpredictable escape artist hellchild. "I… see. Well…" He clears his throat. "I suppose I can humor his request then, if you truly believe it's safe. If both of you would take a seat…" He pulls a chair up beside Naruto's and gestures for them both to take them. Naruto lowers himself back into the same seat he'd been tied to and crosses his arms. "Alright, be sure to drag all three of us in." He grin. "This one should be fun."

That does very little to calm Inouichi, but he places a hand over both their foreheads and channels his jutsu. "Let's just get this over with…"

.

* * *

.

Clean across the village, deep in the Uchiha compound, Sasuke kills the rest of his day with more relentless training. The log in front of him is charred at every angle and slowly blackening, layers of soot tearing away with every hit as he slowly but surely decimates his own limbs. The damage is already stacking up and every strike hurts, but he just couldn't care less right now.

That is, until Kurenai is suddenly leaning against the next log over. "Your form is certainly good, but you're over-turning your back, and you're really gonna feel it tomorrow."

Sasuke stops just before landing another kick, slowly lowering his leg. "I thought Gai was the taijutsu expert."

"Oh, he is." She huffs. "But I know how much that hurts from experience. Kind of hard not to do when you're training with your mind elsewhere, right?" Sasuke tries to avoid reacting, but as an inexperienced genin, she catches the twitch in his eyes all too easily. "I've been there, you know." She turns her gaze to the sky. "… When the Kyuubi killed my parents and I lost everything… I guess my training suffered a lot when I felt I had nothing left to fight for. I still trained, but horribly. Injured myself a lot, lost days of progress at a time…" She sighs and hangs her head, shaking it a bit as she sees Sasuke return to his kicking routine. "I tried to get help from the only distant family I had left, but our clan still wanted nothing to do with me."

That startles Sasuke out of his training to the point of aiming too high, kicking the log with his toes, and hopping back while holding his foot. "AGH- son of a- WHAT?!"

Kurenai can't manage to stifle her giggling. "I know, it's not exactly common knowledge. You see, my mother was born of the Uchiha clan, but with a mutation of the bloodline. Born with red eyes, but never developed any tomoe, never had any ability to copy ninjutsu, just an incredible knack for casting genjutsu. That deviation wasn't taken lightly, and she was ostracized completely. She married out of the clan and cast the name of Uchiha aside out of spite for her treatment." She sighs and crosses her arms as she turns her gaze out across the compound. "I always wished I could have grown up here, though."

Silence falls as Sasuke calms from his martially violent toe-stubbing and sets his foot down. "So… Even my father didn't want you around?"

She shakes her head. "No… Fugusaku was never quite an open-minded man. That may not be what you want to hear, but…"

"No, I get it." Sasuke turns his gaze to the place that had once been his parents' bedroom. "… He… ignored me a lot, too. Always praising Itachi and never giving me the time of day." He sighs and hangs his head. "Always thought I'd just never gotten the chance to impress him."

"… You've impressed me." That draws Sasuke's eyes up in an instant. The gentle smile on her face is far too genuine for any shinobi to fake. "You've been through more than any child should ever see, more horrors than most shinobi will ever know, and yet… here you are. Going strong and with no signs of giving up." Her smile slowly fades. "But that doesn't mean you're not still in a great deal of pain."

Sasuke turns away to avoid her eyes. Those damned red eyes. Such a reminder of family. They feel so much like home that it brings his guard down far more easily than he could ever admit. "I'm fine, Kurenai-sensei. If that's all you're here for, then-"

"Not at all." Once again, Sasuke's shocked into looking up to her as she pushes herself off the log and stands across from him. "I'd like to help you train your genjutsu more. Your ideas are unique, and structurally sound, but they'll take a lot of practice. What you're aiming for is a type of sensory manipulation few genjutsu have ever produced before. Your elements may make it a tad easier, but it's still an uphill battle. So…" She starts stretching her fingers. "Let's go over the potential handsigns from some similar genjutsu and see what we can produce."

After a few moments, Sasuke nods and activates his sharingan. "Show me the jutsu, and I'll read how chakra reacts to each set of signs."

"Hmmm…" She smirks. "Smart kid."

.

* * *

.

Shikaku Nara takes a seat at his favorite bar to find a man he's recently discovered to have taken a liking to the place as well. Not a surprise, as the owner and head bartender is a former shinobi himself and good at dealing with their kind. As such, the grizzled ex-nukenin known as Momochi Zabuza could easily be found there. He lowers his glass and side-eyes his new drinking buddy. "Shikaku? Well damn…" He snorts and takes another drink. For once, he's chosen to forego his mask to fully enjoy it. "To what do I owe the pleasure of meeting the shinobi world's top strategist?"

He grunts a bit. "Never expected such sarcasm from a nukenin. Still, glad to know my name still means something out there." He taps the bar and is wordlessly served his usual sake. "I hear you're already familiar with some of our genin and their sensei. As it turns out, we started a new training program, and we're in need of weapons instructors. I know Kubikirihoucho is unconventional, but you're good with plenty of other blades and blunt weapons if I recall." He peeks up with a sideways glance out of his saucer. "We're hoping you might want to join them and work with Gekko Hayate on the matter. Might be a decent way to kill time and get that good behavior racked up to get anbu off your back."

"Gekko?" He hums at that. "Interesting. Met the man once. Only a Tokubetsu, but his skills with a blade are impressive. Heard he's retired from most active duty, though."

He nods. "That he is. Inhaled a bit too much smoke from a fire jutsu and it's done serious damage to his lungs. Still, he's skilled and attentive as ever. Just lacking in stamina now."

"Shame…" Zabuza sips down more of a his beer. "Mm…. woulda liked to spar with him in his prime. Still, I don't see why I can't step in and put the kids through the ringer. Haku never took to blades, so it'd be nice to pass that skill on to someone. Already know that Uchiha brat's got potential."

"Sasuke? Yeah, surely. So does that mean you're in, then?"

He huffs and slams his empty bottle down. "Tell me where, and I'll be there. Expect Haku as well, I'm sure she'll be eager."

"Hmmm…" He takes a notebook from his pocket to jot that down. "That could have some interesting results, I suppose. Feel free to bring her, then." He pushes himself up from his seat and steps away. "I'd join you for a drink, but I have a few other stops to make. Tomorrow night maybe, once this is all settled?"

Zabuza peeks back over his shoulder. "Sure. And bring Ibiki if ya can, I've always wanted to meet that madman." He takes a swig. "Outside the interrogation room, anyway."

.

* * *

.

Across the village from the bar, deep in the main shopping district, Haku wanders into a flower shop in search of a few species she could never manage to find in her travels. Quite a few require drier climates than what she was used to traveling through, so there's sure to be at least a couple of the ones on her list.

What she first finds through the door is a blonde ponytail whipping around behind a girl in purple as she gathers a bouquet for her only current customer. Ino jumps back over the counter with practiced ease, proving herself to have some degree of shinobi training, but Haku can't be sure just how much.

"Here you go, Iruka-sensei!" Ino hands the completed bouquet across to her former teacher with a grin. "Be sure to put in a good word for Anko for me too, alright? I'm really looking forward to training with her!"

Iruka sighs and scratches his head. "I'll be sure to let her know ya made this for her. She'll repay you, somehow. Just don't expect her to go easy on you, literally all of her teaching methods are painful and humiliating."

"Um…" Ino pales a bit. "I'll keep that in mind, I guess."

"Right… Well, I should get goi- oh!" Iruka turns around to find the Hyoton Heiress's gentle smile. "Haku! How've you been enjoying Konoha so far?"

"Haku?" Ino peeks out from behind him, then leaps over the counter. "So you're the girl Naruto was rambling about! Well…" She steps up with one hand outstretches and her other arm folded behind her back. "I'm Yamanaka Ino, one of his old academy classmates."

Haku gladly takes her hand and shakes. "Momochi Haku. I'm surprised Naruto was so talkative about me."

"Oh, it was hard to get him to shut up." Iruka shrugs a bit as Ino retracts her hand. "When he runs into something that's trouble for his traps, he tends to obsess over it until he finds solutions. When he obsesses, her rambles."

"Trouble for his- Oh." She pauses and tilts her head as she thinks that over. "I suppose my ice would be quite a risk to him. Locking up mechanisms, covering seals to trap their contents, reconfiguring the ground… I may be his strongest counter in our generation, in that light."

"Oh, definitely." Ino sighs and hangs her head. "And to think he used to be the weakest in our class. But that was well before graduation. Now, I have no idea."

"Well, I guess that's just proof of you all being rather talented. I believe in our few days together before returning here, he mentioned you being one of the more troublesome members of his class. He called your skill set…" She pauses. "I believe he said 'scarier than Tora on a catnip binge'. I have no idea who Tora is, but I'm guessing you would."

Ino forces a twitching smile. "Oh, well, I'll have to thank him for that later. By being my test dummy. S-So, um, Haku.." She shakes off her rage. "How are you liking the village so far?"

"Well…" She lowers herself onto a bench by the register, prepared for customers waiting on complex orders. "A bit overwhelming, honestly. I've spent most of my life on the run with Zabuza-sama. I'm not used to being around such large crowds, or crowds in general. Need to find a few quieter places to spend my time."

"I believe I may be of some assistance." Haku jumps a bit as she raises her head to find a boy in a gray trench coat and sunglasses. "Aburame Shino, at your service."

"Oh, Shino, hey!" Ino pulls an envelope out of a drawer beneath the register and tosses it to him. He catches it with practiced ease. "There's the payment and order for our next pest control session." She leans on the counter to peek around the register to Haku. "Shino here really would be the right guy to ask. He's the quietest guy I know and knows all the best natural views around. Go with him, and you'll be sure to find yourself a new haven before sundown."

Shino pushes his glasses up. "I do my best. And any friend of Naruto's a friend of mine. He's always been a remarkable judge of character."

"As I've seen." Haku giggles softly as she stands. "We were still enemies the second time we met, and he still managed to talk me down and into negotiating a collaboration against the man who'd hired me. Most would call it foolish, but I suppose Naruto's success proves otherwise."

"Oh, but he is most definitely a fool." Shino offers his arm to her. "So, how about a nice waterfall first? There's some fascinating dragonfly species there I'd been hoping to check on today."

"Um... s-sure! That sounds lovely!" She slips her left arm around Shino's right before peeking back to Ino. "Thanks for the suggestion, Ino! I'll be sure to visit again soon! I came in looking for a few rare flowers, but I suppose I found something better. I'll see you both later!"

Once Shino and Haku have made their way out, Iruka raises an eyebrow at Ino. "… Are you seriously trying to play matchmaker?"

"Sensei, I make flower arrangements for couples on a daily basis in here, and I figured out what was up between Asuma-sensei and Kurenai-sensei on day one as a genin. You know I live for this stuff, and I'm good at it."

.

* * *

.

**"… so then I kicked Shukaku out of his own desert for about ten years and the Nanabi and I alternated between dueling and partying in an oasis there until the booze Shukaku fermented from that cactus field ran out."**

"Hmmm…." Hiruzen strokes his beard thoughtfully. "Been many years since I've had a cactus brew. I can't quite recall what it was called. I doubt Onoki's forgotten that night, though. I forgot most of it, but he was the one trying to reel me in all night."

Inoichi facepalms quite audibly. "Are you seriously more of a lightweight than me?"

"No, I can compete with Anko and Chouza, I just had enough to make Tsunade have a conniption when I told her this story."

Naruto is grinning ear to ear as he lounges in a chair a short distance outside the fox's seal cage. "Before I take your hat, you gotta tell me every one of these stories, Jiji."

 **"Couldn't agree more."** The Kyuubi lounges on the other side of the bars, quite laxed in the presence of two of the village's strongest. **"But for now, I believe we've been rambling in here for long enough. So, Inoichi."** He narrows his gaze on the mind-diver. **"I may need to communicate with Naruto in combat without him relying on my chakra. Do you know of seals that could be used to do this?"**

Inoichi lowers his hand from his face, slowly dragging it until it rests over his mouth. When he finally has an answer, he claps and spreads a seal layout into the air in glowing lines of chakra. "This array is normally used to link multiple of my clansmen into a single mind searching session, directed by whomever is at the center of the circuit. By removing this component…" He pulls away one piece and dissolves it. "And modifying these lines as such…" He swipes at a few to redirect and reshape them. "therefore creating a one-way circuit so that genjutsu Naruto is caught in don't effect you, so you can then knock him out of them…"

"Now, hold on a second." Naruto gets up and pokes at several points in the seal. "These here seem a bit redundant."

"The human mind is full of redundancies, this is to compensate for and coincide with them to prevent an overload caused by direct feeds."

"Alright, makes decent sense. I ain't any good at psychology or biology, so that's all you. How about this feedback circuit? I already have the seal rigged to let the Kyuubi witness everything going on with me as long as I don't actively cut him out, like when I'm taking a shower. Can't we just remove the feedback route and rely on the mechanism I already have in place, to keep it simple?"

"Hmmm…" Inoichi scratches his head. "Potentially, but you've gotta show me how you managed that. We may be able to incorporate it and make things a bit more efficient."

Off to the side, Hiruzen leans against one of the bars of the prison and peeks back to the Kyuubi. "He's impressive, isn't he?"

 **"I suppose he is. I see more of his obnoxious father every day, and yet his damned mother is still at the core of his personality. And yet… unlike them, I can't bring myself to quite hate him."** He smirks. **"He's a free spirit, who much like me, doesn't give a damn what the world thinks, but knows he'll get them to change their tune in time. He doesn't go with the order. He makes the chaos that forces it to change for the better. I couldn't ask for a better host."** He grumbles. **"Besides one who has enough control to improve my cell more."**

.

* * *

.

Halfway across the elemental nations, to the northwest and on the jungle border, several chuunin and a single jonin with headbands marked by a vertically bifurcated downward arrow stand around the base of their holy tree. The Jonin's eyes narrow on the two corpses found at the entrance to the Hero Water shrine. The chuunin ramble around him.

"What the hell are we gonna do?

"How the fuck did this happen?!"

"We gotta find who did it! We need kill them before they use the Hero Water!"

"It was you, wasn't it?! You always hated being stuck as a chuunin!"

"Hey, I didn't so this! Keep that kunai away from me! Besides, it had to be that monstrous brat, Fuu! She could survive using this shit, of course she wants it so she can kill us a-"

"SILENCE!" All chuunin present fall silent and look to their commanding Jonin the moment he barks out. He towers over them, a hulk of a man that even Morino Ibiki may be intimidated by. He's rather pale, with thick, dark circled under his eyes. His head sports a short but spiky cut, with a pointed beard down to his chest. He runs his fingers through his ebony facial hair as he inspects the wounds on the assassinated Jonin. The culprit was careless regarding any attempts at hiding his identity, but only because none but the oldest and most informed of the village would have a clue. Even then, none of them could od anything about the man who committed these atrocities. He was far too old, too far gone by now, and far too powerful to touch. His techniques are considered lost to the village after he'd personally stolen them in his escape from the village, and now, Taigakure's greatest mistake has come back to haunt them just as their sacred tree's hundred year cycle was completed. The Jonin's brow furls as his eyes dart up to a lonely green-haired genin girl tucked into the branches of another tree in the distance, awaiting the people's harsh judgement in the wake of a tragedy she had nothing to do with. If the intel he received recently and gave to Jiraiya is correct, this would be an ironically indirect way for the culprit to harm her years before he plans to do so directly. "Kakuzu… Why have you come back? The one secret we had left doesn't apply to you any longer. So why would you care to take it?..."


	20. Fates of Burning Passion

The following morning, Naruto stumbles out of his bedroom with Yoko at his heels and his fists rubbing at his eyes. He's barely dressed, not that anyone in his home would give a damn at this hour as Iruka's his dad, and Anko is kind of a slob. He's stunned when he lowers his hands to find two more at the table, though. Sasuke has come to join them, which isn't too much of a shocker with him right next door, but is one regardless with his emotional distance lately. The real shocker is Kurenai-sensei seated next to him and enjoying some heavily spiced Furikake as Iruka and Anko argue over control of the stove. Yoko trots over and hops up into Kurenai's lap, and she immediately pets her with her free hand. "Well, good morning to you too, dear."

Sasuke peeks up and raises an eyebrow as he catches sight of his teammate. "Frog boxers? Really?"

"Oi." Naruto narrows his eyes. "You're one to talk, Tomato Tighties." Sasuke's jaw drops as he glares in indignation, stammering for a moment while Kurenai sputters and nearly chokes on her food.

"Hey, that was four years ago! Speak another word of it, and I'll throw you in the Inuzaka kennel covered in bacon!"

"Try it and I'll replace myself with you, and you know you don't have the chakra to reverse it on me." He grins. "Nice to have ya back, ya bastard." He drops into his seat. "So what brings you over at this hour, Kurenai-sensei?"

"Ah, well, I was training Sasuke a bit last night, we got carried away and it was rather late when we stopped. I ended up crashing in his guest room instead so I could come over and enjoy breakfast with Anko for the first time in months."

Anko groans and tilts back to stare at Kurenai over her shoulder. "Again, I'm sorry! I rarely even stay at my own apartment anymore!" She grumbles. "I swear, I'll find more time for ya, ok? Just the two of us tonight."

Kurenai giggles softly through her food, but refuses to reply until it's swallowed. It's a true mystery how such a proper kunoichi can be best friends with such a slob as Anko. "Well, I'm just glad Iruka's managed to tame you a bit. I could have sworn you would have ruined the man instead."

Iruka shrugs. "Who says she hasn't at least a bit? I'd say it's a two-way-street."

Naruto nods. "There's a reason I gave them a ton of my silencing seals for their bedroom."

Sasuke almost spits out his orange juice.

"Aaanyway…" Naruto shrugs as he digs into the omelet his father's just served him. "I've gotta meet with Hinata on our join training ground at three. Until then, I'm hammering out the seal I was working with Inoichi on yesterday."

Kurenai raises an eyebrow at him. "Inoichi? What kind of seal were you working on with him? Cerebral interface seals are incredibly advanced. It may be one of his clan's specialties, but it makes Inoichi one of the village's top sealmasters, just a few ranks beneath Jiraiya."

Sasuke look sup form his meal. "Oh, did he finally help you get the fox and Hokage-sama in contact?"

Kurenai drops her chopsticks.

"Yeah, that conversation went pretty well. He was in a pretty good mood, but I think that was largely because he was entertained by how scared shitless Inoichi was."

"Inoichi may be a tricky bastard…" Anko cuts in. "But he's also a complete fucking wimp. That man doesn't have half the stomach Ibiki and I have, and the only reason he's allowed into interrogation is his jutsu. No practical skills in the field at all."

"Hold on one second!" Kurenai leans in towards Sasuke. "You know about that?!"

"Yeah. Naruto's my teammate. I probably know more about it than you do." He smirks. "Now doesn't that sting?"

She stares incredulously, then flops back into her seat and huffs. "Your generation is going to be the death of me, I swear. Ok, fine. So what's up with this seal you're making, then?"

.

* * *

.

Across town, the village's most adorable bun-haired badass is hard at work in her father's weapon shop, restocking shelves of basic weaponry that's been purchased en masse recently. Thankfully, Gai-sensei didn't schedule training this morning, so she's not running on fumes out the gate as the store opens. Today should make for an easy day then, but also… remarkably boring after yesterday's training.

Thankfully, the answer to her boredom comes in just a few minutes after opening, as a familiar puppy rushes to her feet and yaps up at her. "Oh, Akamaru! What brings you here, huh?" She kneels down to pet him as Kiba catches up.

"Eh, just out for our morning run, and figured we should stop in for a few. Actually had a few questions for ya that just popped into my head after training yesterday."

"You too, huh?" She huffs as she stands. "Training with the other sensei really expanded how I view my own skill set, and got me thinking on how to improve on parts I've ignored. Kurenai's creativity kinda rubbed off on me, I guess." She clenches her fists. "I wanna put that to use, but I just can't settle on an idea!

"Really?" Kiba grins ear to ear. "Because I might have a solution for ya, and I think you'll be seeing a lot of our classmates for the same sorta thing."

Tenten peeks up from her clenched fists and tilts her head. "Um… ok? What've ya got in mind?"

"Well…" He scratches the back of his head as he pulls a scroll from his hoodie pockets. "I'm no good at math, but this is the details that my sister wrote up after studying the scoring pattern made from my Gatsuga. She said you could apply this to building something to advance my techniques a bit."

She takes the scroll and slowly rolls it open, reading over the details bit by bit until she starts to develop patterns and molds in the back of her mind. Eventually, she grins ear-to-ear as she sees where this is going. "Kiba… I think you just brought me my second calling."

.

* * *

.

Sakura's morning routine has changed drastically since becoming part of a team. Early mornings for training have become a habit, and she can't manage to stay in bed or at home for long in the morning anymore. So this morning, she finds herself out for a jog, seeking to improve her biggest weakness: her stamina. That weakness became greatly apparent during her training yesterday, and she's more determined than ever to fix it.

That ambition ends up catching the eye of one of her upperclassmen. Lee slows himself to match Sakura's pace as he catches up, but he's bringing his knees uncomfortable high to make up for the lack of speed. "Sakura-chan! This morning was already wonderful, but running into you has certainly only made it better!"

Sakura giggles nervously. She certainly appreciates his kindness, but Lee's always seemed a bit uncomfortably overzealous to her. "W-Well, thank you, Lee. How many laps are you on already, then?"

"This would be my fifth! After yesterday's more laxed training for the majority of my time, I find that I'm far more refreshed and handling this morning's run with relative ease. Perhaps there's merit to taking some time off occasionally?"

"Oh, definitely." Sakura scoffs. "That's medicine 101. You 're constantly overtaxing yourself, the way you and Gai train. Spend a bit more time focusing on mental training and techniques, and you'll get results faster than ever."

"Is that so?" Lee looks away and tilts his head, pouting faintly. "Have I really been so wrong for so long? That's a lot to think about." He sighs and hangs his head. "But, that does give me more time to focus on my newer techniques."

"Speaking of new techniques…" Sakura looks over the bandages on his arms. "I've been learning plenty of medical jutsu. I usually practice them on my teammates, but your injuries are sure to be pretty different from theirs. Mind if I tag along to patch you up and test myself? May give you a chance to test your more volatile skills and not be at a deficit after."

Lee suddenly turns to jog sideways as his eyes appear to be on fire with pure passion. "Sakura-chan, that's a wonderful idea! COME! We must make our way to Training Ground 9 at once!" Regardless of Sakura's own speed, Lee takes off with almost religious fervor and leaves her in the dust.

"Damnit, Lee… Well, I guess I need to train my top speed up as well." She breaks into a sprint to try and catch up, but it still takes her three minutes longer to find him waiting in a field and doing stretches in front of a log he's prepared to test his biggest jutsu on. Gai-sensei might be angry at him for using it, but he's never had a medic on hand before during training…

.

* * *

.

Chouza sits beside his son atop the cliffs on the village's outskirts, far off to the left from the Hokage monument. It's quite the climb to get up here, but there's plenty of space for the training he has in mind. "Now, Chouji… as a legal shinobi, there's a few things you need to know. For one, you're now of a legal drinking age, although you really shouldn't yet, but I do believe you're ready to apply that to some severely underused techniques in our clan's repertoire." He takes a sip of his own sake. "It won't be too potent at first. Our clan's flavorful palate makes drinking a bit of a hassle until you've had enough to develop a taste for it. But, I believe you've got the stomach for it, and the results will speak for themselves."

Chouji nods faintly as he stares out over the village. "You must mean great uncle Raichou's Ryū no Iki (Dragon's Breath) techniques. I've certainly heard a lot about those jutsu, but…"

"Yes, I know…" Chouza sighs. "His time away from us at the temple has been long and quiet. But, I know the basics of them, and although I'm no good with them, the fire in your heart and an in your gut will make you a prodigy with them. The ability to apply the foundation of our jutsu, converting raw fat to chakra, and then augmenting it with alcohol, and further with your fire chakra, will produce flames that although limited in range, will be incredibly potent. The only fire jutsu in this village to reach its potential have been cast by the Uchiha, Sarutobi, and Lord Jiraiya." He reaches into the basket between them and pulls out another saucer, then a bottle wafting a rather sweet aroma. "This is a sake blend preserved for clan members who are just starting to drink. A nigori-zake blended with taru-zake and infused with a bit of cherry harvested from the Aburame orchards." He pours some for his son and slowly stands with his own saucer in hand. "It will help you to start developing a proper alcohol tolerance, and eventually, you may be able to perform your great uncle's techniques with a far greater efficiency and strength than even I could muster." He downs his saucer, but rather than swallowing, he charges his mouth with chakra, fires up a bit of lightning between his teeth, and breathes out a concentrated stream of alcohol-fueled flame that burns blindingly bright. Its distance is only as great as a beginner's Fireball, but its potency clearly outranks it. The heat rolling off this flame is intense enough to force Chouji to reel back, and when Chouza ends the technique, he turns to show his lips are already blistering. "I could never master this jutsu. But you, my son, just might."

Chouji stares in awe for a few moments, but slowly nods and dives at his own saucer, quickly sipping it down- only to flinch and spit it out a moment later. "I thought you said this was watered-down and sweeter!"

"Boy, you'll quickly learn that alcohol is a strong taste that's very hard to mask."

.

* * *

.

Naruto wanders into yesterday's training grounds to find Hinata in the middle of a few kata drills, and he can't help but just stop and watch her for a few moments, until she turns enough to realize he's there and she trips over her own feet. She flails on her way to the ground, and Naruto can't help but laugh a bit as he makes his way over. "Sorry! Didn't mean to scare you." Yoko beats him there and she starts licking at Hinata's face right away, knocking her out of her stupor almost instantly.

"Y-Yoko, please, t-that's enough! I missed you too, sweetie!" Hinata gently pushes her back and starts to pet the fox as she sits up. "I-it's fine Naruto, I was just a bit too focused on my training. I should work more on keeping my senses honed while I'm at it."

"Yeah, I get that. You know how I get when I'm making seals." He reaches into his hoodie's collar and brings out a strip of cloth with a seal painted on the side facing him, and clips the top of it in place under his headband on his right side. _"Alright, field test two. Running smoothly, fox?"_

_**"Yes, boy, I can hear you fine. How is it on your end?"** _

_"Works fine so far, but it might get a bit rough during combat. Jostling the seal too much might interrupt contact a bit."_

"Um… Naruto-kun?" He's broken from his thoughts to find Hinata looking him over with her Byakugan active "That seal…" Her eyes dart around to make sure nobody is nearby and listening. "… is he speaking to you through it?"

Naruto's mouth drops open, but the Kyuubi just barks out in laughter from within his mind. _**"Smart girl! Thought she would have known by now, with all the stalking she does."**_

 _"Wait- stalking?! Ok, we're talking about that later!"_ Naruto clears his throat and nods. "Um… y-yeah, he is. Normally, I have to meet him in my sleep, but this seal will keep us in contact as long as it's connecting his seal and my head." He looks away and scratches the back of his head. "It's just a prototype right now, so I'm not putting it on my body until I'm completely sure there's no faults in it."

"Naruto-kun…" Hinata slowly smiles and pushes herself to her feet. "I've known for a long time… and never thought any less of you. So… please, don't look away. I'm not afraid…" She closes her eyes and shivers. "and I've never hated you like all the fools in this village that only see you as a demon." She clenches her fist, fighting the rising heat in her cheeks and constant urge to faint purely by proximity to him. "When I saw them ruining your home, it made me angrier than I thought I was capable of…"

"Wait…" Naruto steps closer. "That was you? You reported them all?!"

She looks up and drops her Byakugan finally, shocked out of her focus as she realized what she'd said in the heat of the moment. "I-I, um…"

She freezes completely as Naruto throws his arms around her and pulls her into a tight hug. "… I can't thank you enough for that, HInata-chan…"

She stares wide-eyed over his shoulder for a few moments, until she reaches critical blush and goes limp in his arms.

"H-Hinata-chan? Oh, SHIT!" He gently sets her down and starts fanning her. "C-Come one, please wake up!"

Yoko whines and covers his face with her paws at her master's foolishness, while the Kyuubi start laughing himself silly, but refrains from sending his thoughts to Naruto. _**"Oh, I like this girl! Hope you pull your head out of our ass and treat her right soon, boy!"**_

About twenty minutes later, she manages to wake up and pull herself together, stumbling back to her feet as she prepares to train. "S-So, you um.. w-want to go over our w-wind training?"

"Yep!" Naruto stretches a bit, having removed his hoodie, now in a burnt orange Tee and mesh shirt beneath it. "Honestly, mine's been a bit shaky. I'm sure you're way further along than I am. I only managed to pick up a couple wind jutsu Kaka-sensei had, and otherwise I've been trying to channel raw wind chakra to cut things more easily."

Hinata nods faintly as she channels wind chakra into her fingertips. "Producing enough chakra for a strong wind jutsu is tough, but I can manage to make it sharp enough to cut most anything I've tried so far." To demonstrate, she turns and swings her hand at a rock nearby, grazing it with her fingertips, but cutting an inch-deep gash into it with no resistance.

Naruto whistles as he steps up to inspect it. "Wow, that's awesome! With your precision, you could cripple just about any foe in close combat with one well-placed swipe. Cut tendons, critical veins, whatever."

She nods. "And an opponent is less likely to notice it. If I wield a kunai in one hand, they'll focus more on the kunai than my free hand and expect the actual cutting implement is the bigger threat."

Naruto stands and pinches his chin. "Well, that's sure to throw people off and give you a few easy victories. If you wanna improve your capacity though, all you can really do it just repeatedly force yourself to use a lot at once. I never really need to, and you know why that is. You might be best off asking Kakashi-sensei, since he's had to do a lot of that to support his huge jutsu library."

She nods a bit and cuts off the flow to her fingertips. "W-What about your wind jutsu, N-Naruto-kun?"

"Mine? Oh, well…" He smirks and faces across the field, chaining together a few handsigns. "ATSUGAI!" He belts out a massive burst of wind, blowing unburied training logs and smaller rocks around with ease, rolling to a stop on the other end of the training ground. "Not much damage in it, but it's great for defense and setups." He cracks his knuckles. "I also have Reppūshō as a more concentrated version from my hands, but there's nothing sharp about that one either. Then there's this one…" He inhales again and runs through three handsigns, ending in Tori. "Fuuton: Kūdan!" He spits multiple compressed air bullets, burrowing holes into a few logs, but not getting clean through them. They're still clearly enough to be lethal with a hit to the right place, though.

Hinata claps and bounces a bit. "N-Naruto-kun, that was amazing! I'm sure Asuma-sensei would be proud of you for being so good at wind!"

Naruto chuckles nervously and rubs the back of his head. "M-Maybe, but I'm really not that good. I had clones working on learning these for what equated to weeks when you put all their experience together. For each jutsu!"

"Naruto…" She sighs and steps closer, despite how nervous she is to be so close. "Y… Y-You might learn and t-think differently, but… y-you're still great at what you do, a-and you make it work, to become someone i-incredible. Seeing you work so hard…" She gulps nervously. ".. I-It makes me really believe you _will_ be Hokage one day."

Naruto is frozen in place by those words. He's heard it from his team, his dad, even Anko by now, but almost always a tad dismissively. Supportive, but not fully believing, save for his dad- but the honestly in her voice, the passion in her eyes, almost brings him to tears. His world slows to a stop for a moment, barely feeling the wind at his back, but it feels like the start of something new. For the first time in his life, he feels a blush rendered by something besides embarrassment or his former foolhardy crush on Sakura rising in his cheeks. After a few moments, he gives her the strongest most genuine smile of his life. As wide as the fake smile he once flashed to trick the world into thinking he was ok, but the moisture in his barely-opened eyes, this time, is purely out of unbridled joy. He simply cannot hide it. Months ago, he wouldn't have known how to react at all. He might have been too shocked, suppressing his reaction entirely and nearly becoming comatose at the idea of someone having that much faith in him. Even now, he barely knows how to react, but can't bring himself to speak. He just throws his clenched fists into the air in victory and collapses backwards into the grass, giggling like a madman.

Hinata can't help but find that reaction adorable.


	21. Insolence and Absurdity

"So I've got about hundred more explosive tags than I need, and I really need a bit of extra pocket change, so-"

Tenten raises a hand into Naruto's face. "Say no more! My dad and I will take them off your hands, and in return, we can either supply cash, or blacksmithing services."

Naruto tilts his head back a bit. "Blacksmithing? Hmmm… Ya know, that's not a bad idea. I might take you up on that, once I figure out what I'll want. For now I'll take the cash, but I'll keep making extra for ya for later."

"Done and done!" Tenten cheers, leaping about the joint training ground as Lee and Gai cannot help but weep with joy at the sight of her so youthful. "Oh, I already have so many ideas for everyone!" She turns and points at Shino. "And I'm gonna need your help brokering a deal for some materials!"

Shino pushes his glasses up and hums. "If you seek to acquire Aburame Silk, I believe I may be able to accommodate for that, but it will be costly, as I'm sure you're aware."

Chouji grumbles a bit. "Ya know, your clan would be a lot more stable if you didn't charge as much. You have a lot of services, but they're pretty niche, and ya don't get customers as often. You'd get a lot more if your prices were more reasonable."

"Sadly, I doubt that will change." Shino shakes his head. "Although the lack of demand would suggest greater success with lower prices, the deal of complexity and cost of producing Aburame Silk is too steep for us to do so without a heavy restructure of our methods which would most likely reduce the quality of the product. Besides, we still receive plenty of orders from the capital."

Sasuke cuts in. "When the hell did this inter-team training meet become an economics lesson?"

Sakura leans into him. "Since the majority of our graduating class turned out to be clan heirs."

Naruto hums. "Gonna have to look more into Uzu and find out what my family sold." He shrugs. "But for now… Where the fuck are our sensei?"

"Sorry, brat!" All eyes turn to the scantily clad kunoichi leading a march onto the field. Mitarashi Anko is followed closely by none other than Momochi Zabuza and Haku, and Gekko Hayate. "Your usual sensei aren't here today. This time, you're getting more specialized lessons, and a few unique guests."

Zabuza hefts his blade over his shoulder and tilts his head as he looks over the crowd of genin. "Hmm… lot of big names here. Speaking of, I'm Momochi Zabuza. One of the last surviving members of the Seven Ninja Swordsmen of the Mist. This runt next to me is Momochi Haku."

Haku smiles and bows with her usual grace. "Ino-san, Shino-kun, Team 7, it's wonderful to see you all again."

Ino raises an eyebrow and smirks over to Shino, whispering to him. "Shino-kun already, huh?"

He fixes his collar. "No comment."

Zabuza shifts his blade. "Oh, you'll comment later."

"Enoug-" Hayate coughs halfway through his interjection. "Ugh… Don't scare the kid too much. Morning, everyone. I'm Gekko Hayate, one of the village's top swordsmen, accomplished assassin, and former Anbu captain."

"And you all know me quite well." A final voice, source unseen, speaks from seemingly everywhere at once. The wind slowly gathers and swirls around the until leaves blow in and compress into the visage of none other than Sarutobi Hiruzen, the 3rd Hokage, In full combat gear. "Good morning, children. I do hope you're ready for a few lessons! But don't expect me to go easy on you… Last students I trained were the Sannin, after all."

"Jiji!?" Naruto rushes up. "How the hell are you here?! I haven't seen you outside your office in months!"

Neji's jaw drops. "Uzumaki, how dare you speak so callously with our Hokage!"

Hiruzen stares at the Hyuga boy for a moment before huffing in exasperation and returning his attention to Naruto. "Feels like I haven't been out of there in years. It'll be nice to teach again for a while." He sighs and hangs his head. "It's been far too long." Anko shares a quick glance with him as a familiar pain strikes them both, but they shrug it off and return to their duties. "Now, I know you're all going to want to train with me, but do keep your own skill sets and intentions in mind. I'll be teaching a combination of esoteric and lesser-known taijutsu, ninjutsu, and various forms of shurikenjutsu and bojutsu."

Zabuza swings his blade off his shoulder and levels it at the kids. "I'll be working on weight training, survival and stealth tactics, and unconventional weaponry."

Haku bows. "I intend to teach medicine and formulating original jutsu."

Hayate takes a moment to polish his blade. "I'll be teaching more conventional kenjutsu and-" He's cut off by another coughing fit. Once he's settled his lungs, he clears his throat and continues. "unconventional chakra elements."

Anko twirls a kunai. "I'll be teaching poisons, and for the ladies" She shakes her hips a bit. "Seduction~ You may not be viable for those missions until chuunin, but it doesn't hurt to learn how to throw some into a genjutsu or a transformation to make fools slip up."

Naruto snorts. "Why the hell ya think I developed the Orioke no Jutsu? I've made hardened jonin and a kage slip up with it." He points over his shoulder with his left thumb towards Hiruzen, who audibly facepalms.

Neji visibly twitches. "You've got to be joking."

"Nope." Anko shakes her head. "Sure it would work on the old fencesitter in Iwa, too."

"Naruto's eyes slowly widen and he shivers in pure excitement. "Oh now I _have_ to use it on him."

"Naruto…" Sakura pokes him in the right temple to snap him out of daydreaming. "You know he'd kill you right after if you did."

"Oh, he can try."

"That's it." Neji turns and starts walking away. "I'm done exposing myself to this idiocy. Tell me when we're splitting up, and I'll go to whichever sensei has the least obnoxious class."

Silence falls as everyone watches his back, but a few turn to stare at Sasuke. "… What?" He looks to everyone individually, becoming less and less comfortable. "What?!"

"For once…" Sakura huffs. "For once, we've found someone more stuck-up than you used to be."

.

* * *

.

Hayate lowers himself onto a mossy rock for a decently comfortable seat to begin his lesson. "So, let's start with what each of you is looking for…" He takes a handkerchief from his pocket and coughs into it as he waits for a student to speak up.

Once he's finished coughing, Sasuke cuts in with his usual direct approach. "Largely, I was looking to improve my practical kenjutsu skills. My fight with that nobody who stole the Raijin no Ken proved I have a long way to go, if I have to ignore kenjutsu against someone who was never properly trained just due to inexperience."

Hayate nods and holds out an open hand. Sasuke passes him his blade and gives Hayate a moment to inspect it, weigh it, and give a few test swings. "Hmmm… You take good care of it…" He coughs into his handkerchief again. ".. and it's fairly balanced to suit both your current age and what you'll likely grow into." He hands Sasuke's sword back to him. "Alright, I'll help you with kenjutsu. We'll start entirely practical, and I'll teach you some more advanced non-elemental techniques later if you can prove you're up for the task." He switches his attention to his remaining student. "And how about you? Considering my work with your mother, I think I know already, but…"

Kiba huffs. "Yeah, she's told me about you. Which is why I wanted to discuss and practice ambush tactics with you. Heard from her even before your speech earlier that before your lung problems, you proved to be one of Konoha's top assassins and a tactician most other Anbu captains can't match." He slowly grins. "If I'm gonna be a true pack leader, I'm gonna need to be just as good, don't ya think?"

Hayate slowly grins as Kiba's determination sinks in. "Kiba, I think you and I are gonna get along swimmingly."

Akamaru yaps as he pokes his head out from under Kiba's hood, wagging his tail enough to push the hood off and hop down without having to crawl out.

.

* * *

.

Hiruzen sighs in relief as he lays back against a tree in central north of the grounds. He'd always liked this one, back when he was training the Sannin. Its roots grew into a gentle slope facing south, letting him lay back comfortably with a canopy large enough for the light to never bother him. It was Konoha's natural beauty at its gentlest. After a moment's rest, he spoke up with his helmet mostly covered his face still. "So, I do believe I already know what each if you is here for. Without uncovering his eyes, he lazily points directly at Shikamaru. "You're looking to tease my brain about my jutsu library and get a scoop on some I think may be useful to your expanded skillset with the addition of water and fire, correct?"

"That's the gist of it." Shikamaru lays back in the grass with his arms behind his head. "You're 'The Professor', so you've obviously got a few good utility jutsu on my level for me to consider. It's troublesome, but I'm gonna have to take advantage of my elements now that I know what they are and how strong of a combination it is."

Hiruzen smirks and digs into his pockets for where he sealed his pipe. "A wonderful approach, Yes, I do believe I know a few off the top of my head. I'm far better with fire than I am with water, but considering your clan's weakness at night, providing solutions to that take precedence over the manipulative methods of synergizing water jutsu with your clan's techniques." He withdraws his pipe and lights it with his thumb and some fire chakra before addressing his next student. "Now, Shino, you're a bit more perplexing, but your father tells me you've been experimenting on your kikaichu with long-term generational exposure to elemental chakras. It's well known I am a master of all five major elements, so I'm sure that ties into your reasoning."

Shino nods and withdraws a baseball-sized cluster of his kikaichu. These ones are less inclined to fly than the standard of their species, instead forming a dense, shifting orb of carapaces. "That is correct, Hokage-sama. I have already produced a subspecies that feeds predominantly off of one of my elements, but the other is proving a bit more difficult. Frankly, my approach is far too slow. I believe I need to take drastic measures to produce more potent results. I am certain that you can provide the necessities for this procedure."

He hums and scratches his chin. "A very unique proposal. Your father told me you were more creative than the standard of your clan, and I can see quite clearly that he was correct. I'll gladly assist in your experiments. Now, then…" He lazily points over to Lee. "You, Lee, are a bit of a shock to see. Your taijutsu is certainly impressive, and although mine can be, even I will admit that Gai outclasses me in that area. This means you'd have to be coming to me for an expansion to your skillset that's outside his expertise. Perhaps this habit with seals that he mentioned you'd been working on?"

Lee bows on his knees, prostrating himself to his Hokage. "Yes sir! I need a more professional opinion from a true sealing master on the designs of some of my augmentation seals I've created in my downtime between taijutsu training sessions! Gai-sensei says I need formal approval from a fuinjutsu master before I apply them!"

"Right he is, dear boy. I'll gladly take a look and recommend any alterations I see fit if necessary. That said, your dedication to this exoteric and oft forgotten craft is commendable, and I can't wait to see what you've developed with it." He raises his legs and kicks himself up to his feet. "Well, let's get started, then!"

.

* * *

.

Haku leisurely strolls across the water in the grounds' eastern pond, hands withdrawn into her sleeves, with her two tag-alongs at her back. "So, Sakura-chan, I've heard your medical jutsu are coming along nicely."

She nods and tests her Mystic Palm jutsu. "I've gotten decent at it, but I feel like I need more practical talents for when I'm low on chakra or treating illness rather than injury." She closes her glowing hand and shuts the jutsu off as she peeks up to the former nukenin assistant. "And I know you've got quite a talent for that yourself. If anyone can teach me proper field medicine right now, it's you."

Haku peeks back over her shoulder with a gentle smile. "I'd love to. I never thought I'd have a chance to pass that knowledge on. I hope you can make as great a use of it as I have." She returns her gaze forwards. "Now, Neji-san, what have you come to me for?"

"Two major reasons, I suppose. For one, I overheard stories of your supposedly indestructible ice mirrors, and wanted to test them myself. My Byakugan should be able to see weak points in them easily and allow me to shatter them with well-placed strikes regardless, and the range of your attacks will be useless against my field of vision." He closes his eyes to hide his frustration with the next part. "And frankly, I wanted to see why and how an enemy with years if field experience would be so eager to tag along with a fool like Naruto."

Haku slows to a stop, then sinks down into the water and suddenly emerges from it behind Neji faster than he can track with his Byakugan deactivated. "If you seek such a test, then be my guest." Neji slowly peeks back over his shoulder, horrified by the killing intent she's radiating. "And Sakura-chan? You can practice medicine on the wounds he'll be receiving from this."

.

* * *

.

Momochi Zabuza sits upon a rock in the middle of a pond, polishing his blade as he considers how to approach the three that followed him. Teaching is very far from his strong suit, something he feels he barely managed to do with Haku. She mostly taught herself, in the constant 'sink or swim' lifestyle of running from Anbu.

The sight of one of his students brings to mind someone he fought alongside during the rebellion he staged against his former friend and kage, so he turns his attention there first. "So, princess, what brings you to my lesson? Thought you'd be afraid of someone from the Bloody Mist."

Hinata shakes her head. "Naruto vouched for you, so I know you must be trustworthy. As for why…" She sighs. "He told me about your jutsu, and I believe testing my eyes against the mist could be a good way to improve them. Your proficiency for water jutsu is also considerable, as I'm a water user myself."

"Hmm." Zabuza hefts his blade over his shoulder. "Hell of a reason. Good head on those shoulders, kid. Alright, how about you big guy?" He points his blade at Chouji, who backs away at the sudden motion.

"U-Um.." Chouji cowers, leaning back and almost falling off his own rock and into the water. "W-Well, um… I-I'm working on my strength training and a few jutsu for d-defensive purposes, and I thought someone as tough as you would be great for training tips and durability tests!"

"Throwing the toughest thing you can find at your walls to see if they hold up?" He grins behind his mask and chuckles. "Now that, I can definitely get behind. Alright, you're on, kid." He turns his blade towards his last student. "And how about you, buns? What's your story?"

Tenten leans in and aside, carefully inspecting his blade and her mouth almost waters. "The legendary Kubikirihoucho. One of the greatest blades ever crafted…" She gently runs her fingers along the edge. "Such solid, refined iron… smooth, textured subtly, like it was forged from powdered materials."

He raises an eyebrow. "Oh, I see. You're a blacksmith, aren't you?"

She nods eagerly as her eyes remain homed in on the blade, checking the edge, the weight, the width, everything. "I've already got some commissions coming in from classmates and ideas for others. But I need inspiration and examples to work with." She looks to him with a wide grin. "And I know a guy like you knows some of the best weapons ever made, probably a ton of them I've never heard of!"

"Ya know what? I'm usually not a talkative guy…" He sets his blade on his back. "But if it's telling you about my coolest fights, I'm all for it. Has me kinda interested in seeing what you can make. Alright then, we'll have a good long chat, interspersed with water jutsu lessons and examples for the other girlie, and some water clones to beat up chubby."

"WHAT DID YOU CALL ME-"

.

* * *

.

Naruto finds himself helplessly dodging kunai and senbon that Anko's barely attempting to hit him with as she focuses her attention on Ino. "So what brings you to auntie Anko today? Thought your dad said I was too bad of an influence."

She huffs. "You might be in some ways, but I've been thinking about my clan's jutsu, and I feel like it'll be easier to make them work if I can leave my opponent's mind addled to begin with. You specialize in intimidation and poisons in the Interrogation unit. Applying them to my skills should make me doubly effective at messing with my opponent's head."

Anko grins ear to ear, followed by hearing a yelp from Naruto and looking his way. "Sorry, I got a little excited there! You're healing it already, right?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm healing! Goddamnit, that was three inches from my-"

"So anyway…" Anko interrupts him upon returning to Ino. "That's a perfect plan, and I can't wait to corrupt you until your dad wants to get into _my_ head."

"Um… why would you want him in there?"

"Cuz I know he'd come out crying like a little bitch."

.

* * *

.

Soon enough, everyone returns so the central training ground to find Sakura fuming at the mere presence of her temporary classmate, Neji. He sits across the field from her with a few of his fingers appearing to be broken and attempting to ignore how cold he is, despite almost violent shivering. Haku just looks pleased with herself. "So, who would like to train with me next?" Nobody decides to question the story behind their states. Even Lee can't deny how insultingly arrogant his teammate is.

.

* * *

.

This time, Hayate finds himself a bit annoyed with his new entourage. He decides to address the most troublesome student first, and ironically, it's not the Nara boy whose catchphrase he just stole. "Now, Neji…" He coughs and sputters for a moment. "… I saw the looks you were giving the other three sensei you could have followed. Even the Hokage himself has drawn your ire. Why's that?"

He glares daggers into he distance with his Byakugan, clearly homing in on someone he finds detestable, as he completely ignores his most sensible teammate in the process of treating his injured hands. "They've chosen to side with a childish fool who should never have been given a headband. I see no reason to take advice from any one of them."

Silence falls for several moments, and Neji fails to notice that Tenten's stopped working on his hands. He doesn't realize he's been slapped off balance until the resounding smack echoes back their way from the nearby cliff face.

Tenten walks away from her teammate and closer to Hayate, cutting in rather than waiting for him to ask. "I wanna be a master of all sorts of weaponry, so I need someone with experience in a lot of areas to point out weaknesses I need to iron out. Best you leave a clone with Shikamaru and handle me yourself. I can't promise I won't break the clone two minutes in right now."

"Um… right." Somehow, Hayate finds he's too shocked to even cough, and decides to skip over Neji and give him some time to think. "Well, I can certainly do that. Shikamaru?"

He shrugs as he lays back and stares at the sky, as per usual. "Wanna run strategic scenarios by you. You're an accomplished assassin and former Anbu captain. Few brains in the village that're better to pick than yours, and I'd like a perspective outside my father's to work against."

He nods and coughs into his handkerchief once more. "Mm… very well. My clone will stay here with you and Neji while I focus on Tenten. Let's get to work."

.

* * *

.

Hiruzen can't help but smile somberly as he leads the trio at his back to the northern corner of the grounds. It feels like his youth before earning the Hokage title all over again. A hot-headed unconventional fool with a heart of gold. A cold, calculating young man with immeasurable natural talent and a constant drive for improvement. A determined young woman with a bright vision of the future and a temper that can drive her to achieve it against all odds. He could already see the next generation changing the world as much as the one he personally raised, and then some. He comes to a stop beneath another tree and snuffs out his pipe. "So, Naruto and I already have plans." He reaches into one of his pockets and pulls out an entire bo staff, causing Naruto to marvel at how fluidly it was removed from whatever seal was within, without any smoke whatsoever. He's so stunned by it that he barely catches the staff that's tossed at him. "So how about you two? Sasuke, if I'd have to guess, you're looking to pick my brain for some jutsu I can pass on to compliment your close combat proficiency. A simple task, especially considering my fire affinity. Although I'm not quite as talented with lightning, I can contribute a bit as well in that area."

Sasuke nods and draws his sword. "I was also hoping you could help me train my chakra capacity up enough to use more jutsu as set-ups for more efficient kills."

"Oooh, learning to be as tricky as your teammate? Wonderful. I love making someone think some grand jutsu is my last-ditch effort and blindsiding them with something small and lethal." He chuckles. "And how about you, Sakura?

She sighs and crosses her arms. "To be frank, a lot of earth jutsu on Kakashi-sensei's arsenal aren't the most useful for my medic aspirations, save for mud wall. And water jutsu he uses are all larger-scale stuff that's purely destructive. Worst of all, healing grievous injuries is going to require a lot of chakra, which I frankly don't have. So joining you in Sasuke's chakra capacity training is really in my best interest."

Hirizen smirks and pulls out a second staff. "Well, you've certainly made my day interesting. So many bases to cover, so little time. Alright then! Clones for everyone, and let's see how quickly you can adapt to a chakra exercise I call 'chakra hops'. Yes, it's exactly what it sounds like, and yes, it's both practical and an absolute blast to use."

.

* * *

.

Haku sits beneath a tree with a fresh cup of tea in hand, sighing in soft relief after taking a long sip. "Thank you, Shino-kun. Sealing up hot drinks for during training is quite the wonderful idea."

"Well, if fire can be sealed and unsealed without compromising it's heat, it makes sense that the same could be done for food and drink." He adjusts his glasses, although wearing them in the shade of the woods may seem a bit odd to those unfamiliar with his clan. "I was saving them for if I found you later this afternoon, but I thought it best to bring them out after you appeared to be so chilled by your own jutsu after your argument with Neji-san."

Ino snorts as she recalls that sight. "What happened with him, anyway? I mean, I wanted to train on my senbon aim with you, but I mostly wanna find out what you did to break him so badly. I've got to hear this one!"

Haku giggles. "Well, I'm not quite a gossip, but that's a tale I'm more than willing to tell. And Shino-kun, are you looking to test your kikaichu against my mirrors?"

Shino nods and bows. "Indeed. I can think of no better challenge for my new hive than to try and drain the power of such a magnificent and conflicting technique."

She sips down the last of her tea and nods. "Very well. Let us begin."

.

* * *

.

"So let's see…" Zabuza looks over the two kids with him. One's got his face constantly strained as though smelling something he finds unsavory, and the other is jogging in place with knees high enough to make him wonder if the boy even has a pelvis. "You're an Inuzuka, aren't you? I think I've run into your mother on the field, actually. Fierce woman."

"Yeah, she's mentioned." Kiba huffs. "Mentioned you smell like blood even fresh after a bath, and I see she's right."

He grumbles. "I know, it's one of my few weaknesses in assassination. It's why I specialize in doing them outdoors, since my mist masks the smell by making the air less permeable."

Kiba shrugs. "Makes sense. As for me, I was hoping you could give me a few suggestions. I know Tenten's looking to make a ton of weapons, and I need a solid idea of one to suit me. You've seen my clan in action, and probably fought a lot of people with really weird choices."

"Kid, you have no idea the kind of weird shit I've seen. I can't even begin to tell you half of it until you're a lot older and preferably we're both a bit drunk. So yeah, I can help ya find a good weapon." He turns his gaze to the jogging pair of eyebrows to his right. "And how about you, skippy?"

"Actually, my plan is quite similar!" Lee speaks at about twice the necessary volume. "I was hoping to test my current choice of weapon as well as my ability to dodge weapons of unconventional size in close combat!"

"Holy shit, I got a hell of a fun set this time. Alright, you're both on!"

.

* * *

.

Anko leans forward and nearly into Hinata's face. "Come on, tell me you're finally gonna make a move!"

"A-Anko-sensei?" She stammers and stumbles back, growing redder by the second.

"Seriously! You're getting a lot friendlier with him, and not freaking out just because he gets close! Chouji, you gotta back me up on this!"

Chouji chuckles nervously and shakes his head. "I'd much rather not get involved. Besides, we're supposed to be training! And you're one of the only people I can ask about what I'm looking for next."

"Oh?" She uprights herself and cocks and eyebrow. "That's a bold claim. Wadda ya need?"

Chouji crosses his arms and grumbles. "Well, if I'm gonna be taking the brunt of damage for my teammates, I think I need to develop an immunity to a lot of poisons. You're the best person I could go to for that. Ino mentioned more than enough for me to be sure you'll know where to start to develop a strong immunity."

She nods and digs into her pockets. "Yeah, I got a few samples you can work with for that. Your BMI should make you even more naturally resistant. It'll take a lot more of most poisons to kill you than others. And you've got one other advantage." She passes him a vial. "Ya learn to channel your fire chakra through your blood stream or stomach, and it'll burn the poison off faster. I do the same thing, so I can teach ya to do it properly with your blood. I know your dad's already got ya on the stomach method, so it shouldn't be tough." Hinata sighs in relief over no longer being the center of attention, but yelps and backs up as Anko returns to her. "So, how are we gonna get Naruto all over you?"

"W-What?!"

"Seriously, you're a gorgeous girl, but the kid's dense, so I think ya gotta do something to really impress him. Maybe an original jutsu, or something to break you away from the clan more?"

"U-Um.. well, I was thinking of trying to learn Serpent Style from you, to apply it to my Jyuuken, b-but a new jutsu would help too… but I'm not really the most creative."

"Oh, I'm sure you're better at it than ya think!" Anko uprights herself and starts to stretch a bit. "Let's brainstorm some while I teach you the basics and try to keep Chouji from overdosing on that poison."

.

* * *

.

As the genin reunite by the grounds' gates, Neji simply walks past them all and entirely out of sight. Two sensei have gathered to join them in the aftermath, particularly Asuma and Kakashi, both exchanging stories from over Asuma's years away at the capital. Neither of them steps up to stop Neji, as they've both come to realize their intervention would do nothing more than exasperate his flaws.

Kakashi shakes his head as he recalls just how he used to be as a child. Only someone of a similar mindset to his dear lost teammate could possibly make him change his ways. He hopes that revelation comes to him sooner than later, and at far less of a cost.

He barely manages to pull his mind away from the past as he approaches his team. "I hope you're not too tired after today's training."

Hiruzen chuckles as he steps aside to give Kakashi a clear view of Naruto limping up and using the staff he'd been given as a walking stick. "Don't tell me you've got us training with you after all this." Hiruzen shakes his head and pulls his pipe back out, lighting it up and stepping aside to address them, as Naruto grows curious. "So what's up, then?"

Hiruzen straightens his back and returns to his Hokage persona, casting his eyes across the crowd and meeting six specific pairs. "Teams Seven and Ten are to take two hours to recover before reporting to my office to accept a mission of the utmost importance to begin tomorrow morning. Details will be provided in my office, but much of them will await until your arrival to the final destination of this mission, among three separate locations. Keep your wits about you, children. This one will surely be an important trendsetting task for your careers."


	22. The Breeze Turns Westward

The northern gate out of Konoha is a familiar sight by now, and oddly enough even on the way out with it wide open. Missions out of the village in this direction are common, with the vast gap between there and the border, and farmers in need of assistance. In comparison, the mission they're about to undertake is sure to be long and arduous for one reason or another, but the company is good.

"So Shika, I wanna pick your brain on this trap's potential loopholes real quick." He pulls a scroll out of his left top jacket pocket and rolls it about three feet in before finding the model he wants.

"Wait, did you use a prototype of this one in the academy to prank that one substitute with the red hair? That you turned blue?"

"Yep!" He grins ear to ear. "But this one's made with various poisons and noxious materials sure to fuck up every sense that relies on your face."

Chouji shudders. "Naruto, how can you be so evil?"

"I'm a shinobi." He shrugs. "I'm not paid to be nice to my enemies."

"As true as that is, Naruto…" Kakashi peeks back from the front of the troop. "You should avoid causing psychological damage to your allies when testing your traps."

Naruto pouts. "What's the fun in that? Besides, I test them on people who short-changed and overpriced me, and even Hokage-jiji agrees with that."

Asuma snorts, blowing a bit of smoke from his nose. "Yeah, he would." He chuckles and takes another deep drag. "Mmm… Ya know, since we're stopping by Kusa, I might have to pick up a few good cigars before we head home."

"Damn, good idea." Zabuza blurts through his bandages. He's remaining shirtless for now, a bit unused to the warmer climate of the fire nation, let alone the jungle they're about to be skimming past. "Not much of a smoker, but they know how to make some good shit. In my anbu days, I used to collect some of the confiscated imports for myself, and those cigars were some of the best."

Sakura huffs. "Hey, Asuma-sensei at least has a good reason to get away with smoking. The Sarutobi clan has a strong resistance to smoke inhalation and jutsu built around taking advantage of it. You on the other hand are just killing your lungs."

"Oh, that's nothing." Haku interjects. "Compared to how much he kills his liver, anyway. I'm sure you've heard the stereotype that Kiri shinobi drink too much. I consider him some pretty convincing evidence."

"And my stories make up another filing cabinet full of evidence." Zabuza chuckles to himself. "Ah, and to think I'll be back with em soon. Probably Elite Jonin now, though. I'm too high-profile for anbu now."

Kakashi sighs and hangs his head. "The downside of such greatness."

Asuma raises an eyebrow at them both. Why are former anbu always so full of themselves?

"Ya know…" Sasuke cuts in. "I've been considering the anbu track myself…"

Kakashi nods. "You and Naruto would both be very well equipped for that route should you choose it. Personally, I think the background is a bit unappealing to Naruto and he'll just get annoyed with it, no matter how good he is."

"Yeah, probably." Naruto puts his arms behind his head. "Hey Ino, doesn't a lot of your clan get recruited for anbu?"

She shrugs. "I mean… there's a higher concentration of us than most clans, but we mostly get into interrogation, which overlaps with anbu a lot too. Usually for anbu squads sent to capture people in enemy territory and interrogate them on the spot. Can be kinda hard to smuggle some targets out of their home countries so the best option is just to do it where they're found. My clan's jutsu does wonders for it." She tilts her head back and hums thoughtfully. "Actually, my new one would be especially godsent if I can master it."

"A new jutsu for your clan?" Sakura turns to face Ino. "That's ambitious. How big of a game-changer will it be?"

Ino develops a mischievous smile. "Oh, it's going to be beautiful. I'm as proud of this one as Naruto is of his Tora Trap."

"Alright, that's enough kids." All eyes fall upon Kakashi. "We've gotten a good enough distance from the village and we have to high-tail it to the border of Sōsō no Kuni and Tsuchi no Kuni. We need to get there in four days, so we've really got to book it. We'll be running until nightfall, be sure to use chakra to replenish your physical stamina to keep up the pace. When we're done, you six are sure to be sore, but it'll be perfect time for some of you to apply your medical training. Choji will be on cooking duty tonight. Sasuke will hunt for our meal and Naruto will set traps to guard the camp with Shikamaru's strategic placement. Ino will gather whatever edible herbs, fruits, and vegetables she can find in the surrounding woods and jungle. Any objections?"

Yoko yips from her place in Naruto's hood.

"Yes Yoko, you have a position too. You and a few of my hounds will be on night watch, since you clearly prefer sleeping all day anyway. Yes, Urushi will be one of them."

Ino grumbles at Yoko's wagging tail. "Seriously? Even Yoko's got a boyfriend?"

Naruto slowly raises his Jinchuuriki Link seal up under his headband. _"Looks like this'll be an interesting two weeks."_

_**"Undoubtedly. Question is, will you be informing Shikamaru or Choji of your status as my jinchuuriki? You three have quite a history at the academy."** _

_"Good question. I'll figure that out by the time we set up camp tonight."_ With discussion over, everyone breaks into a run, shinobi speed carrying them far across Ka no Kuni to the northwest.

The northwest of the nation is surprisingly barren, but for good reasons most would say. For one, it's leading into the open plains of Kusa no Kuni, so there's a lot of very fertile farmland, but not much to see, so lacking in tourism and commerce. Then there's also the vast migration away from this area during the last war, trying to avoid proximity with Tsuchi no Kuni. As a result, the trek for the day is largely uneventful, ending in setting camp about halfway to the border and dividing for their tasks. As they do, Kakashi leaves a clone at the camp while the real one leads Zabuza away. "So…" The assassins cracks his neck. "What's the deal?"

Kakashi slowly turns and unseals an old anbu-issued tanto. "I may respect the Hokage beyond words, but he was out of line saying I was never good with a blade. If my student is picking the art up, I'll do my damnedest to get back my old skills and keep ahead of him. So…" He unseals another and tosses it to him. 'Let's keep this fair and use the same kind of blade. Stop short of actual injury, since we're on a mission. Otherwise, go nuts."

Zabuza takes a moment to swings the tanto about and get a feel for it. "Wow… haven't held one of these in years. Brings back some pretty good memories." He slowly develops a fanged grin. "Alright, I'm game. Let's see if you've got half of what this takes!"

Off in the other direction, Naruto takes a moment to pull Shikamaru aside. "Hey, uh, Shika… got a question for you. It may sound kinda vague, but if ya know what I'm talking about, you should have an answer anyway."

"Really?" He looks up from his notebook map of their traps. "Not like you to be vague. You're about as direct as it gets when you're not pranking someone."

Naruto grumbles for a moment and crosses his arms. "… Hinata already figured out something big about me… so have you?"

He falls silent for a few moments, but slowly straightens his back and looks to the sky. "Yeah… yeah, I did. Wasn't hard to put together. Too much evidence, if ya just know where to look. And that seal you were wearing earlier tells me you've been in contact with it, too."

"Him, not it. And yeah, the Kyuubi's not exactly chatty, but he's helpful when he's not pissed off or just being lazy."

Shika nods and puts his notes away. "So why've you been talking to him?"

"Hmmm…" Naruto debates on how much to say as his brow furls. "… There's a lot the public and even the fox doesn't know about that night. A lot more complicated than anyone knows, and there's no black or white anywhere in that mess. All shades of gray that just look brighter or darker from whatever your perspective is."

Shika groans and scratches his head. "Damnit… this is S-rank stuff, isn't it?"

"Yep. Only talk about it to me, my team, your dad, and the Hokage. Hinata too, since she got in the loop same as you." Naruto starts to calm down, knowing just how trustworthy Shikamaru is with his secret if he's not spoken of it yet. "What about your team?"

"Eeeeh… Ino, I wouldn't trust with it yet. Chouji could keep it secret and be just fine, but as he is now he might overreact and it'll probably stress him out. Leave him in the dark for a few months at least, and we'll tell him some other time."

Naruto nods and slowly turns to head back to camp. "Yeah, I thought so. I know Chouji wouldn't see me any differently, especially if Sasuke and Sakura didn't, but he'd probably be a bit of an anxious mess for a while if I told him now."

"Exactly." Shikamaru walks in tandem, shoving his hands in his pockets. ".. Also.. how smart is the fox, if you're actually talking to him?"

"Oh, he's actually really looking forward to having a chat with you if I can make a version of this seal that doesn't put a bit of his chakra into the recipient's head. I'm fine with it, but it'd burn like hell for you."

Shikamaru cringes. "Yeah, not dealing with that." He waves the issue off as he strolls back to camp. "Another time, then."

Naruto watches with an almost tearful smile as Shika leaves. One more person who knows and isn't afraid… maybe he really can have the future he dreams of.

Camping that night and the following nights is largely uneventful. Choji's cooking is amazing, Ino's herbal additions are wonderful and leaves her truly stunned by Choji's cooking talent. Most nights, Urushi and Yoko are still chatting in the early morning hours when they pack up and get moving. During the day, they ramble about combat strategy and a few ways they can assist one another with training. Sakura spends a surprising amount of time going through katas and working on perfecting her Krav Maga. Naruto decides to assist with his bo staff, at which point Choji agrees to pitch in with helping Naruto work out using a staff to take advantage of a target's weight. Sasuke gives Shikamaru a few pointers with fire jutsu, resulting in Ino stepping over for directions with lightning in return for genjutsu tips. Sakura and Ino are no longer at each other's throats, much to Sasuke's surprise, but he does notice Ino is a bit despondent- despite her attempts to hide it- when Sakura gets close to him. Yoko spends most of the day napping, save for occasionally biting Naruto's ear when he gets too loud or says something particularly stupid.

On the afternoon of the fourth day, they arrive to the border of Jungle and Earth. Off to the south-east they see dense jungle sprawling across jagged mountains. To the northwest, they see towering dry crags with sparse space between. The border they stand on is a vast expanse of grassland, fertile and dark soil ripe for planting. Up ahead in these plains is a small gathering in the open field. A relatively safe move, as all parties would have to move a considerable distance to approach and surely be seen. Kakashi's party is spotted from a kilometer off and Kakashi sent up a red flare to ensure they knew a Konoha part was approaching peacefully. Seeing the flare, a small group of nobles hiding out a short distance into the jungle emerge and approach the Iwa contingency in the field for negotiations.

The noble party from Sōsō no Kuni wears deep violet robes, a rare color, but found more commonly in their nation thanks to rare flowers and creatures in the oceans to the north of them. Kakashi recognizes the head negotiator as Councilman Nakamoto, a surprisingly stoic man even in the presence of shinobi. An excellent choice for negotiations with Iwa. On the Iwa side, Kakashi spots the Jonin heading the mission and instantly curses to himself. Asuma follows suit a moment later as he realizes what kind of clash is about to go down.

Iwata Kitsuchi, son of the Third Tsuchikage, Iwata Onoki. His wide stature and equally broad nose stands out all too easily, and his stony stare is everlasting. He spots Asuma at a distance and his brow furls instantly. "Ah. So that's Hiruzen's game. And Kakashi too-" His eyes narrow on Naruto. "… Son of a…"

The Konoha troop slows to a stop and takes a moment to assess Kitsuchi's students. One of them is a tall young girl with short black hair and a cheerful disposition, sticking quite close to her sensei. There's nothing too remarkable about her at a glance, but Kakashi recognizes the Iwata family sigil patched onto her shoulder. Then there's a young man slightly taller than the already lanky Iwata heiress with peppered gray hair, a blade-like nose, and eyes matching the faded green of this field beneath today's cloudy skies. He wears his headband on full bandana and seems to have procured a samurai shoulder plate on his right side, while the left remains sleeveless. He shifts into a defensive stance as soon as the Konoha squad approaches, drawing half a katana from a full sheath on his left hip. The last Iwa genin is quite a bit shorter, petite even. She's a pale girl lacking any hair, a small, pointed, nose, and amber eyes. She keeps the hood of her black and blue hoodie up with her headband around her neck, a pair of goggles on her forehead, and metal bracers. When she raises her hands into an open-palmed defensive style, her gloves are clearly palmless.

Kitsuchi raises and arm and gestures his students and daughter to stand down, and a moment later, the Konoha troop steps up. Asuma waves and puts his cigarette out for the meeting. "Kitsuchi, I see you're doing well. How's your father?"

He grumbles. "About the same as when we last spoke. Still doesn't know when to quit. Shoulda given me the hat years ago so he can finally rest, but you know how stubborn he is."

Kakashi groans a bit. "Oh, don't we. Still, it's good to know he's in good health. At his age, that's a rarity."

"Same could be said of the Hokage. No signs of him retiring either?"

Naruto snorts. "That old man's still too strong to consider it." He arches his back. "I'm still sore from that last spar, and he didn't even swing at me once, I did it all to myself trying to hit him while he _stood still_."

The taller Iwa kunoichi snorts and bursts into laughter. "Seriously? No way in hell kage would waste time training a genin brat like you."

"Kurostuchi, be silent." Her father's tone shuts her up instantly. She's really not used to hearing him be so demanding with her, even as a sensei. Kitsuchi then looks back to Naruto, noticing the staff he's leaning on. "Learning Monkey style, I see."

Naruto peeks to Kakashi, but his sensei does nothing to silence him, so he shrugs and nods. "Yep. According to him, I'm kind of a natural."

Kitsuchi crosses his arms and hums. "That so? Well, good to see it's not a dying form." He peeks over to Asuma. "Shame, what happened to your brother. I know you suspected us for a while, but unlike the last Raikage, we don't quite care for kidnapping, especially high-profile targets."

Asuma sighs and rubs the back of his neck. "Well… thanks. But enough of us. Wanna introduce your team?"

Kitsuchi nods and turns his head back to his students. "Well, this little miss here is of course my daughter and heiress to the Iwata clan, Kurotsuchi."

She gives them a half-hearted and clearly facetious bow. "Could have introduced myself, dad."

The young man with the blade crosses his arms. "Matsumoto Tetsuma."

The darkly-dressed girl speaks almost inaudibly. "Akiyama Hibiki."

Naruto pauses, finding something off about the other two, but he shrugs it off. "Name's Uzumaki Naruto." He catches the tensing of Kitsuchi's jaw at the mention of his surname. "Future Hokage and wrecker of all shit." Yoko yaps and grumbles from his hood before curling up to sleep more. "And she's Yoko."

Hibiki's eyes home in on him. "Uzumaki? I had believed your clan was exterminated during the last war."

Naruto flinches and turns away. "Yeah, most of em. My mom was already living in Konoha at the time."

Kitsuchi scratches his chin. "Kushina, eh? Good woman. Dangerous. May have been an enemy, but I respected her. I heard she'd died when the Kyuubi attacked, though. I'm sorry for your loss."

Naruto shrugs faintly, trying to ignore the stares he's getting from his uninformed old classmates. Shikamaru seems to have suspected it, but Choji and Ino on the other hand are struggling to stay professional and keep the shock off their faces. "Yeah, well... I never really knew her."

"Hmm.." Kitsuchi sighs. "A shame. Well, how about the rest of you? I've got some guesses for most of you, but…"

Sasuke huffs. "I'm sure you're right about me. Uchiha Sasuke, surviving heir of the Uchiha clan."

Kitsuchi raises one finger.

"Haruo Sakura." She bows a bit, showing proper respect to the son of a kage.

"Nara Shikamaru." Shika rubs the back of his neck as he watches Kitsuchi raise a second finger. As he suspected, counting his successful guesses. The man knows Konoha's heirs and big names all too well.

"Akamichi Choji." He reaches into his bag and pulls out a fresh bag of chips. "Any of you guys want some?" The Akamichi clan may be obsessive about their food, but that also means they consider offering it to be quite a meaningful token of appreciation and a peace offering.

Kurotsuchi stares for a moment, but shrugs and holds her hand out for the bag. "Sure, I don't see why not. You guys get better potatoes anyway, I'm sure the chips are a big improvement."

"Yeah," Choji shrugs. "But you guys have the better pork. I'd call that a win in your favor."

Ino rolls her eyes a bit. "I'm Yamanaka Ino." And Kitsuchi grins as he raises a fourth finger. "Wow, you really knew us ahead of time." She leans down and throws a sideways smirk at Sakura. "I think you're the only one here he had no interest in."

"Just cuz I'm not from a prominent clan doesn't mean I can't kick your ass, Ino."

Hibiki snaps her fingers and points at Sakura despite still having a completely blank face. "I like this one."

Haku rolls her eyes. "I'm Momochi Haku, Zabuza's adopted daughter."

Kitsuchi raises an eyebrow at the browless assassin. "Really? Didn't figure you were the type."

"Well, not that pleasantries are dealt with…" Councilman Nakamoto cuts in. "I would like to get this treaty and land trade organized in short order. I have a three separate offers for you from my lord, all of which we believe to be quite fair."

Kitsuchi nods. "Certainly. Just a moment, sir." He looks to Kakashi. "I'm sure you know these handsigns, you know this won't be an attack. Just better than standing out in the middle of a fie-"

He's cut short by Naruto pulling a set of folding lawn chairs from a seal and setting them out, setting them up with a few clones before kicking back in his own. The chairs are wood and cloth rather than metal, and he seems to have had his name and Uzumaki clan symbol embroidered on one like a director's chair. "Ok, now we're good. You guys are free to use em, just make sure I get em back before we go."

"Naruto." Kakashi crosses his arms. "What did I tell you about packing unessential resources?"

"You said 'don't let them weigh you down or get in the way', hence using seals. Damn, I love seals."

Kitsuchi barks with laughter as he drops into a seat and it creaks under his weight. "Now that's the Uzumaki spirit alive and well! Thanks for the save, kid. A lot better than my rock seats woulda been." He leans back and waves to the councilman. "Well, let's get on with this, then. What's your offers?"

Nakamoto takes his seat, though shifting uncomfortably as he's clearly not used to something so pedestrian from his seat of wealth and power, before reaching into his sleeves and removing a scroll to read from. "Let us see… First offer is of course a large sum of money, same as quoted before. Second would be a land trade. We grant you some border property ripe for farming, and you provide an equivalent amount of border property with considerable ore deposits for us to mine. Third would be not a land trade, but instead cheaper imports and exports to one another so we may send you the food you require, and we receive the ores we require. All three come with a peace treaty both with our nation and Takigakure."

Shikamaru raises an eyebrow at that set. This catches Kitsuchi's attention. "What's on your mind, kid?"

Shika stares for a moment, but shrugs and leans forward to answer. "It's all a fair deal, but it's quite clear that the treaty is the clincher for their side. Huge benefit, especially when dealing with one of the five strongest nations and villages. Taki may be strong, considerably so, and incredibly well hidden, but your forces raw scale could very well search the whole jungle in a war and find them regardless. But, you don't dare do such a thing when they're allies with us. A peace treaty simplifies everything and lets you both preserve resources while your home nations reap the rewards. No downsides for anyone, just a bit more of an upside for them- but you people are the ones needing food, so flexibility in this negotiation is lacking on your end. Personally, I see no reason to avoid taking any of these offers, it simply depends on which you fine most advantageous. Do you need the speed of the export deal, or the long-term but potent sustenance of owning the land? Do you have more mines than you know what to do with and give away, or is the purchase more efficient for you?"

Naruto nods and crosses his arms. "All grand points, but you also gotta consider the risk of a land trade being too slow to get off the ground, especially since these were once a huge war zone and there's gotta be kunai, shuriken, and unmarked graves all over the place. Now, if you can organize to clean it up together and turn it into something effective for both parties, that'd leave you both with a lot more useful land." Naruto looks around a bit. "Who knows how long it'd take to clean these fields up and prep them for farming?"

Tetsuma peeks about for a moment and presses his bare hand to the ground. "Hmmm… Yeah, he's right. There's a lot of metal scattered about here, all old tools."

Kitsuchi nods and huffs. "Good catch, kid. But why help our side of the argument?"

Naruto shrugs. "Simple. No need to be enemies right now, or give each other reasons to be." He slumps back in his chair and sways like a drunk to spend just a bit of pent-up energy. "As much I'd love to prank this whole party to oblivion and back, letting a mistake like that go unspoken is needlessly cruel and stupid, even for me."

Zabuza's jaw drops behind his bandages. "Holy shit, the brat's actually got a grasp on politics."

Naruto snorts. "You have no idea how many headaches I've given myself by putting clones in the library for this."

Kitsuchi chuckles, but trails off as his eyes dart off to both sides. Kakashi sighs and reaches for his headband. Kitsuchi instantly gives him a curt nod, taking that as confirmation that Konoha has nothing to do with the sudden vibrations they're feeling.

Kurotsuchi runs through a set of handsigns ending on Hebi, before driving her hand into the ground and twisting it at the moment a horde of twelve anbu leap from the earth. "Doton: Chikyū o Tsukamu!" (Earth Style: Gripping Earth!) The ground seals back up around the legs of several of them, one caught only by the ankle and sent faceplanting, but seven of them breach the ground too quickly and bee-line towards Kitsuchi. Kitsuchi sinks into the ground faster than they had emerged as one swings a tanto towards his throat, only to be replaced by a Naruto clone emerging with the same jutsu and opening his jacket to reveal twelve exploding tags as he belts out a head-flailing war cry. By then everyone else had spread out while Asuma, Zabuza, Haku, and Shikamaru surrounded Nakamoto to guard him. This left everyone but the hapless assassins within range of the blast. Two of the dozen were eliminated instantly. The one whose legs got caught at their knees is promptly flattened by Choji's Nikudan Sensha, followed by a swift knee to guts by the real Naruto. The one whose ankle was caught gets themselves free quickly enough to attempt to counter a punch by Kurotsuchi, but she produces a stone gauntlet and punches the tanto in half before backhanding the man unconscious. Another attempts to cut her down from behind, but a Naruto clone pops up and grabs him by the ankles, allowing Kurotsuchi to turn around and fire her stone gauntlet right into their chest and surely snap a good deal of ribs. Two attempt to cleave into Tetsuma, but he catches their blades and they bend on contact with his hands, which are suddenly black as iron. He grips the blades and rips them from their handles, shapeshifting them to be thinner and longer before stabbing the men with their own weapons.

Shikamaru notices none of them are paying attention to the troop guarding Nakamoto, so he takes advantage of that to snag one. A quick extension of his shadow captures one and keeps them out of the fight and ripe for interrogation afterwards. Ino meanwhile opens a canteen on her hip and uses a minor water jutsu to splash it about much farther than it would normally spread, before a quick three handsigns lets her pulse a small amount of lightning through it all to stun the three anbu she managed to dampen. This locks them up just enough to let Choji roll over two more. Hibiki approaches the last with a low rush and rises to put her hand to his chest. A quick flash of chakra and an explosion similar to a low-grade tag goes off in her hand, blasting the Anbu back to be clotheslined by the blunt side of Kubikirihoucho. Zabuza knows better than to get blood on a client by using the other side. The last one attempts to hit Kitsuchi where he resurfaces, but the genjutsu fades the moment he strikes, and leaves him wide open for Sasuke to draw his wakizashi and cleave them across the spine. He tries to move for just a moment, but another quick thrust to the back of their head finishes the job.

Kakashi hums as he watches the last one fall and looks to Kitsuchi as he rises from the ground, horizontal to vertical and stiff as a board the whole way up. "I'd say the kids handled that well."

Kitsuchi nods and ruffles his daughter's hair. "But, that also means these supposed anbu were also bottom-of-the-barrel sacrificial pawns. I know that's not how Konoha runs things with their anbu. Not the official ones, anyway."

Kakashi nods as he steps up to the one Shikamaru captures, who Ino has now managed to completely disarm and tie up. "Kiri wouldn't be doing this, they just got a new leader and they're still not the most stable, and looking to be allies with us. These anbu were going out of their way to target you and your team, but if it were Kumo, they'd likely be indiscriminate and target us both, but A's been quiet since he took over and been much more passive than his father."

Asuma hums. "So, we thinking this is Root, then?"

Shikamaru's eyes narrow. "Root? Not a village I've ever heard of, and I've studied the whole map."

Zabuza snorts. "Cuz it's not a village, kid. In your village, it's hidden in plain sight. In other villages, they're the boogeyman Konoha's extremists raised."

Asuma groans and tilts his head back. "Damnit, dad's gonna be on the war path for this one."

Kitsuchi cringes. "Yeah, I wouldn't wanna be in Hiruzen's way when the monkey's actually pissed off. I've heard more than enough stories of wanton drunken destruction from my old man to know yours is gonna raise hell." He sighs. "Well, we still need to deal with this treaty, and you have a traitor to interrogate. So how we splittin this?"

Kakashi hums as he looks among his crew, but Asuma cuts in first. "My squad will handle the Root agent, the rest of you can deal with the negotiations. Ino, you ready?"

Ino almost squeals. "Finally, I get to test these jutsu on the field!" She pouts. "I've had almost no work on them for weeks cuz daddy says I'm not ready to use them on anyone his department's officially interrogating!"

Naruto shudders at the thought. " _I know she knows I've got a thousand secrets, and I have never been happier that you can boot people out of my head at will."_

_**"I could also let her in and just control what she has access to so she only sees your most embarrassing secrets instead of the big ones."** _

_"Oh fuck no!"_

"Hey kid."

"Huh?" Naruto snaps out of it and turns to face Kurotsuchi.

She's looking the blonde over with a critical eye, taking in details others seem to just forget or ignore. The blue eyes, bright blonde hair, sealing talents, apparent age, it all lines up too well. She makes sure to speak quietly. "My dad recognized you instantly. He hasn't said it, but I see what he's getting at. The others with you don't know, do they?"

Naruto's eyes widen for a moment, and he checks his peripherals. A quit bit of reassurance from the Kyuubi convinces him it's safe to speak. "Kakashi and Asuma do, the rest haven't been told. But I think Shikamaru already figured it out."

She nods and huffs, hanging her tilted head. "Damnit, this is gonna get complicated. The Hokage wouldn't have sent you on this unless he wanted us to know."

"Pretty much." Naruto shrugs. "He's playing a fast and dangerous game. Never seen him so bold before. But I know he wouldn't unless he knew it was most likely going to turn out well for everyone."

"Ever the optimist, huh? Well, my dad and I will be sure to pass the message." She looks to the rest of the team gathered, with Sasuke peeking over and watching from the corner of his eye. Shikamaru seems impassive, but he's clearly paying attention too while the rest discuss the trade deal and interrogation. "Allying with Kiri, restoring the Seven Swordsmen, the Hokage's son is back and training a new InoShikaCho, and now their best jonin is training the Uchiha heir and son of the 4th. He's playing with his cards face-up knowing nobody can possibly have a strong enough hand to beat him. Either stand down and let the monkey have the pot so he can share the wealth as he sees fit, or keep playing and lose everything."

"That's the jist of it, yeah. Bold move, might piss some big names off, but his goal is peace. Lines up pretty well with the exams coming up, and if he's successful, we might be looking at a union between all four nations, or at least two of them in a stalemate against our three and knowing not to start shit."

"We've been at a stalemate for years. Personally, it'd be nice to see a change of pace, and war isn't exactly my style either. I love some action, but I want people to deserve it, not just be protecting their countries for people with big egos." She grins over at him. "So from one future Kage to another, let's hope this plan works and you and I will be having a lot of meetings someday. The way you're acting, I doubt they'd be boring ones, so I look forward to that."

Naruto stares in shock for just a few moments before grinning ear-to-ear and reaching out for a fistbump, which she gladly returns as they watch her father propose raising a politically neutral meeting place in this field for future discussions between all nearby nations.


	23. You Say Goodbye and I Say Hello

Ino huffs and pulls her gloves off as she steps out of the stone hut erected by Naruto that she was interrogating the surviving Root member in. "No dice. I couldn't get a word out of the guy before this…" She shudders. "horrific seal on his tongue made it swell and choke him to death. We also discovered a pretty large collective of exploding tags on him, same as some of his comrades." She waves the stack of tags around. "Not sure why they didn't go off."

"Hold on." Naruto takes them and looks them over, then snorts. "Of course. I made these ones myself, been selling excess stock to Higurashi Outfitters and the Anbu's demolition corps through Hokage-jiji. But um…" He pauses and peeks up to his team before looking back to the stack. "I'm used to a lot of hate, so I figured if people were to ever use them against me, I'd put a failsafe in them that makes them duds in my presence without me triggering them personally." He looks back up. "They just didn't know enough about sealing to notice the safety mechanism array folded between the trigger and release seals."

Asuma's cigarette falls from between his lips as his jaw slacks. "Dear god, you're another Mina-" He's cut short when Kakashi elbows him in the ribs.

Sasuke grumbles. "Ok, so you saved us with dumb luck. That I get. Happens all the time with you."

"Oi!"

Sakura cuts in. "Training session 17, when your propellant seals almost combined with his fireball and roasted him alive, only to discover the trigger you made for them could be switched off with the chakra pulse you made out of sheer panic."

"That was one time."

Kakashi holds up two fingers. "Session 6, when you started rigging your clones with your explosive tags and accidentally pulsed too much and happened to set all of them off at once instead of individually, but managed to use Daitoppa at the right time to block the incoming blast."

Silence falls for a moment until Zabuza starts laughing. "Holy shit, that thing with the bridge trap triggering twice was something you just accidentally discovered, wasn't it?"

"I swear next time we're tasked with capturing Tora, I'm letting her loose in one of your bedrooms at three AM."

"Ok, that's quite enough." Kakashi cuts back in and turns to face Kitsuchi and Councilman Nakamoto. "Well, I believe we've cleared up everything. Your trade deal's looking fair, right?"

Nakamoto nods and smiles brightly. "Oh, indeed! My lord will be quite pleased. As I'm sure Onoki will be!"

KItsuchi huffs and crosses his arms, but returns and smile and nods. "Long negotiations for my taste, but worth the effort. That part, he'll be ecstatic about."

Kurotuschi steps up with a sway. "Getting attacked, not so much." She looks to Naruto and offers another fist bump. "Thanks for the save."

He gladly returns it. "Don't mention it."

"And you…" Kurotsuchi turns to stare at Haku. "… We've definitely gotta spar sometime. Those ice jutsu were wicked. If we ever run into each other on the field, just know I'm gunning for ya. No hard feelings."

Haku smiles gently and bows. "I'd be honored to spar with you. It sounds like it might be rather fun, actually."

Zabuza chuckles. "That's my girl. Alright, we've been here long enough." He arches his back with a few loud snaps and pops. "Let's hit the road, get up to Aisu Bay by sundown tomorrow."

Kitsuchi reaches out to shake with them all, and they gladly accept one by one. "I'm sure I'll be seeing you all around. Exams are down in Konoha next, right?"

Asuma nods as he lights himself a fresh cancer stick. "Yep, lookin' forward to it. Sure to be one hell of a show this year."

Hibiki hums. "Well, don't expect easy competition."

"Speak for yourself." Tetsuma huffs. "I intend to take the whole exam by storm and walk out unscathed."

Naruto grins. "Not on your life." He turns and walks away with a wave. "I look forward to kicking your ass!"

Sakura groans and covers her face. "I'm sorry for him. I really am." She huffs and shakes off her frustration. "We really should get going, though. I do hope to see you at the exams!" She jogs to catch up with Naruto, while Sasuke shrugs and offers only a two-fingered salute as he saunters after them.

Chouji offers them all another bag of chips for the road, which is gladly accepted, and Ino is of course already catching up with Sakura, but Shikamaru stays behind for a moment. "So, Kitsuchi. I'm sure you'll have a lot to say to your father when you get back. I don't envy you for that. But just know, as the son of the chief advisor, I'm certain the Hokage has no ill will towards you, your kin, and your village. Frankly, he's been reminiscing about when he and your father weren't enemies."

"Hmm.." Kitsuchi scratches his head a bit. "That so? Well, I suppose I get that. I'll see what he thinks about meeting up sometime soon." He snorts. "Gods know neither of em has much time left to do it."

"Yeah, I guess not." He turns to catch up, finding most of the squad glaring at him for moving so slow. "But hey, time is the ultimate teacher, they've both lived enough to learn not to hold grudges."

As the entire Konoha contingency walks off, Kitsuchi hums and contemplates all this news, but then stomps and causes Yoko to pop out of the ground and stare at him from just a few feet away. "Go ahead and catch up to em. I ain't plannin nuthin, so no need to eavesdrop." He pulls a piece of jerky from his vest. "You can have this, though."

Yoko yips and leaps to catch the treat mid-air before scampering off to huddle away in Naruto's hood again.

.

* * *

.

A short distance from camp in the shade of a towering redwood, Naruto almost dances around Chouji's attacks with the aid of his staff. He tries to catch Naruto off guard with a partial expansion, but Naruto jabs his staff into the ground near the edge of his reach and uses it to pull himself out of range before standing on Chouji's forearm and throwing his balance off. As Chouji falls, Naruto swings his staff into his head and stops and inch away. "You really gotta work on some faster moves, man."

Chouji grumbles and shrinks his arm down as Naruto hops off, massaging his wrist. "I'm working on it. I have two ranged options I'm having some trouble with, but once I get them down I should be a lot better off."

"And yet without variety, you kicked a lot of ass earlier." He grins and leans on his staff. "Honestly, I'm surprised you were so calm when we got ambushed."

Chouji sighs and hangs his head. "Not really. I looked fine, but man, I was panicking!" He drops onto his ass in the dirt. "I only kept it together because I had my teammates- my friends- to worry about. If I'd been alone, I probably would have completely locked up."

"… Well… that's not exactly a bad thing."

Chouji peeks up and stares, jaw slack and eyes misty.

"Ya see…" Naruto spins his staff and seals it in his hoodie pocket. "I don't think I'd be half as driven if I didn't have my dad or my teammates, or you, Shika, and Kiba when we were younger. Needing others to draw your strengths out isn't a weakness. It just proves you care, and makes you stronger when it matters most." He smiles softly, more so than Chouji's ever seen, but that gentleness to it makes it so much more genuine. "Yeah, you gotta work on caring more about yourself too, but caring more about others is never a weakness."

Chouji's eyes grew wider through that entire pep talk, but be finally closes them and wipes his tears off on his bandages. "A-Alright! Yeah, you're right!" He hops back to his feet. "Now I'm fired up! Come on, throw everything you've got at me! Make all the clones you can, I'll trash em all!"

Naruto's grin grows wider. "Only if you promise to show me some of those new jutsu you're workin on!"

.

* * *

.

The sensei sit in a circle around the fire, as their students remain scattered about training amongst themselves and each other. Of course, Kakashi and Asuma have clones keeping an eye out. Zabuza's got a few water clones too, but they're not quite as useful. This does allow them the freedom to discuss what all they learned today, though.

"Dad's gonna be pretty excited when we get back to him at this rate." Asuma chuckles to himself.

"I'm not sure I see why." Zabuza cuts in whilst polishing his blade. "Onoki's gonna be skeptical and bullheaded as always, and hearing about Naruto is gonna out a wild hair up his ass. And then there's that Matsumoto kid…"

Kakashi waves it off. "Yes, yes, we all know how dangerous that clan is, and I'm as surprised as you that there's any left. Your old friend's genocide caused quite a lot of trouble. They fought harder than anyone, and that got them cornered."

Asuma hums. "It makes sense that some of the survivors would run to Iwa. Although we have a better track record with accepting refugees, Onoki isn't going to turn down a prominent clan, and he's likely given them considerable political power in return for swearing themselves to his ranks. With us, they'd get the same treatment as any other citizen. In Iwa, Onoki's practically printing money for them."

"Hell of a hard offer to turn down, and literally on the other side of the world from Kiri." Zabuza sets his rag down and peeks back up to Asuma. "That said, I really don't get how he'll be happy with it."

Asuma grins as he blows out a few rings of smoke. "You're focusing too much on old grudges. Didn't you see how well those kids got along with ours? Onoki's own granddaughter sees Naruto as a friendly rival. There was no animosity in that whole encounter, and even Kitsuchi was putting bad blood aside and starting to enjoy himself. If they report back and prove two of our top jonin have no ill will and my dad wants to catch up peacefully, Onoki's gonna have no choice but to accept that the olive branch is extended, and he knows not accepting it won't just go poorly in combat, but in his own family now."

Zabuza stares for a moment, but slowly starts to chuckle. "You mean the blonde brat seriously just turned the Tsuchikage's own granddaughter into a walking trap in his own territory?"

"Yep." Kakashi hangs his head. "And I don't think he even realizes he did it."

.

* * *

.

Late the following evening, the brilliant north shores of Aisu Bay are ahead. The tall, jagged cliffs down into the deep sea at the northwestern borders of Sōsō no Kuni are largely vacant, this close to the border of Tsuchi no Kuni especially. If they were to head further east they could surely find a wonderful shoreside town with pearlescent beaches, but for now they lay just out of reach.

At first, the shore appears barren, but a small collection of Kiri anbu climb up into view from the cliffs and approach in silence. Zabuza steps ahead of the party and stops just a few feet away, staring the squad's captain down. "… Hm. To think you survived that mess. You've done well, Kani."

The captain with the crab mask bows to him. "It's a pleasure to see you returning to us, Zabuza-sama." He rises and peeks about the rest of the party. "Kakashi, you appear to be well. I believe our last encounter was…"

"On my way back to the mainland with Shikaku on that expedition to Sora no Kuni, right?" He tilts his head back and props his chin up. "Wow, I must have been quite a bit shorter then. I almost feel old now, looking back on it."

"Did you ever catch that nutcase you were tracking?"

"Oh, yes, I already had. I just couldn't mention it to you, seeing as there was a bounty on his head in your territory too. Wouldn't do well to have you take his head from me after I put so much work into getting it, right?"

Sasuke crosses his arms. "Ok, now this is one I have to hear."

"Maybe once we've settled in tonight." Kakashi returns his gaze to Kani. "So, we'll all need to settle in for the night soon enough. How about a sprint east to stay at that lovely hotel on the shore, and we split in the morning after a good meal?"

Chouji throws his fists up and cheers. "YES! Come on, Asuma sensei, please say yes!"

Ino sighs deeply. "I'd certainly appreciate a bed for the night before we have to turn around."

Naruto pulls a notebook and pen from his hoodie pockets. "Note to self: Seal an entire bed for the next mission out of the village."

The anbu pause and look amongst one another. "… How come we never thought of that?"

Naruto shrugs. "Sealing bigger objects takes stronger and more complex seals. Far from the standard you buy in a shop. Most cases, it'll have to be a custom job."

Ino places a hand on Naruto's shoulder. "I'll pay you 20,000 yen for one of those scrolls."

"Deal."

"Hey!" Sakura pouts. "You've got clan money and a dad who spoils you senseless, I can't handle a price like that!"

"Nah, teammates get it half off."

Sakura beams. "Naruto, you're the best teammate a girl could have."

Sasuke huffs. "What the hell am I then?"

Naruto snaps his fingers and points at him. "Brooding eye candy." Yoko yaps in agreement from her perch in his hood.

Sasuke falls silent for a moment until he peeks up to Kakashi. "Can I-"

"No, you're still not allowed to kill him."

.

* * *

.

The comforting heat of the hotel's springs give the two squads a much-needed respite, which Sakura is all too eager to take advantage of. "Come on, let's wash up and soak a bit before the buffet's ready!"

Haku stumbles for a moment and bites her lip. "I'll have to meet you at dinner. I'll be retiring to my room for now."

Sakura and Ino slow to a stop, but Ino's the first to speak. "Um… alright, if you're sure. Just don't be afraid to stop in if you change your mind, ok?"

Haku bows. "Of course. Thank you, Yamanaka-san." She turns and leaves with her arms folded across her.

Sakura slowly looks to Ino, about to speak, but she shakes it off and heads in to wash up. Ino watches Haku leave for a few moments, but sighs and catches up to Sakura.

In the men's half, meanwhile, Naruto is lounging back with his eyes shut and grinning ear to ear. "Damn, this is good. I never get to enjoy the springs back home like this."

Chouji turns his way and props himself up against the rocks with an elbow. "Really? That's a shame. Ya know, my family actually owns a private section of it, you're welcome to use that any time ya like. I'll just run it by my dad and you'll be put on the whitelist in a day or two."

Naruto's smile falters as he turns to one of his few early friends. "Really? Dude, you really don't need to do that for me. I-I know your dad's awesome, but I really don't want his reputation to tank just for me."

"I dunno." Kakashi cuts in, still wearing his mask even in the damned baths. "I'd say it's a good deal. The Akamichi baths are lovely. A little hotter than the rest, but still comfortable."

"… Ok, fine. I'll take you up on that, I guess." He slowly turns back to Chouji with a gentle smile. "Thanks, man."

.

* * *

.

The following meal and long night's sleep was almost a vacation to them after trekking through woods and jungles for five days. Sadly, that vacation was set to be followed by more of the same the next morning. Just one thing stood between them and this trip, and it's something many of them find less appealing than the trip.

Naruto stands before Haku, nervously rubbing the back of his neck as he debates his words. He's always been terrible at goodbyes, largely because he's never really had anyone close enough for them to matter until recently. It's harrowing in a way he couldn't have prepared for. All those years of isolation, only to find when he finally has real friends that it seriously sucks losing them, even if it's not forever.

Thankfully, she can tell how uncomfortable he is, and she reaches her hand out first. "Thank you for everything, Naruto." She tilts her head as her smile widens. "If you hadn't stepped into our lives and made Zabuza change his mind, we'd still be taking odd jobs from horrible people just to get by." After a few moments, Naruto smiles in return, a few tears in his eyes, as he takes her hand and shakes. "Now… I'm going to have a home. A real home, and a real future, doing what I truly want to with my life. And I have you to thank for all of that."

Zabuza chuckles and turns away. "Yeah, yeah. Ya did good, kid. You, and your whole team." He peeks back. "Take care of your brats, Kakashi. They're a handful, but if you can keep em alive long enough, I'm sure they'll be one hell of a threat one day."

Kakashi chuckles and shakes his head. "No, they already are. I'm just gonna work on making them even deadlier."

Sasuke smirks and raises his sparking right hand, while Sakura's eyes glint with the promise of mischievous pain for anyone who crosses her and her squad. Sakura speak ups before Naruto can clear his mind enough to. "When we meet again, you better not have fallen behind, Haku."

"Oh, I wouldn't dream of it!" She looks back to Naruto just as he finally pulls his mind together.

"Haku… we may not have known you long, but it's been one hell of a time. I took one hell of a risk the day I found you in the woods, but seeing how it's turned out, I couldn't be happier. So don't ever think you've gotta repay me or thank me for it. I just did what I knew was right, and got one hell of a great friend out of it."

Haku tears up a bit herself as her smile cracks open to bare her teeth for once. "Then I'll repay you by staying that great of a friend, no matter how long we're apart. I'll mail you once we're settled in, and I'm sure I'll see you again once we set up the ambassador program!" She slowly releases his hand and steps back-

But she's quickly enveloped in an overpowering hug. "I better see you again soon, damnit. I've fought too long to finally have some real friends, so I'm sure as hell not losing you if I've got anything to say about it."

She stares in shock for a few moments, but slowly wraps her arms around him to return that hug. "You won't." She jumps a bit as Yoko pops up from her perch in Naruto's hood to lick her face. "Y-Yes, you too Yoko!" She pets her for a moment as she pulls back. "Well, I suppose we should be headed…" pauses. "… home." She peeks back as Zabuza places a hand on her shoulder.

"It's a long way, but it's nothing compared to our time on the road so far. Just a little longer, and we'll finally be home." He raises his head to team seven. "We'll see you brats around, I'm sure. Sasuke, keep it up with your blade, and you'll put the best samurai to shame." Sasuke cracks another smirk and nods somberly at the loss of a great sensei. "Pinkie, keep these two madmen alive long enough to see them become monsters, and I'm sure you'll be just as scary in your own way." Sakura crosses her arms and grins smugly. "And Naruto…" He looks back to the blonde brat. "… You're still a bit naïve… but I guess the world needs some of that. Never stop hoping, kid. You seem just crazy enough to make that optimism work." Finally, he looks back up to their sensei. "And Kakashi… Try not to fall behind your brats." He grins viciously behind his mask. "Cuz' next time we meet, I'm gonna want a real match with you."

Kakashi raises his headband for a moment to flash his sharingan at him. "Gladly. Next time you're in town, hit me up and we'll schedule a good long fight."

Zabza snorts and shakes his head as he turns back. "Alright, let's get moving. It's a long way home. Later, Konoha brats." He and the Kiri squad disappear with individual shunshin no jutsu, but Haku is the last to go, sparing them one last glance and sad smile before she's long gone.

Naruto watches with a slightly forced smile for a few more moments, but it breaks as he roughly wipes the tears off his face. "A-Alright… let's get out of here and get to Taki already."

.

* * *

.

The jungle trek is long and arduous, taking three days through dense brush to reach the general vicinity of the carefully hidden Takigakure. It's a relatively short time before the six genin and two jonin are surrounded by a contingency of nine masked Taki shinobi. Village policy is that they all be blindfolded and given sensory dampening seals to ensure they cannot unveil the location of the village to other outsiders. If Naruto hadn't been warned well ahead of time, there surely would have been complaints, but not one ill-mannered word is spoken, and their trip into the heart of their most mysterious ally's home begins.

Little does anyone besides the Kyuubi know that they're being watched by a local who's sure to make this trip all too interesting. Her orange eyes lock onto blonde hair and whiskers in an instant, as her innermost senses alert her to her tenant's kin. Her caramel skin splits with a bright smile as she hears Chōmei buzzing away in her head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Greeting, everyone! So, if you're this far, you've read everything up to when I first transferred here from FF.net! So, you may also be surprised to find that I have a youtube channel as well under the same username, right here: 
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGHmAYz-5Cnb-Gvs-LKybEA
> 
> On top of that, if you wanna help me afford to release these chapters more frequently as well as work more on my youtube channel and my upcoming book (far more heavily edited than my work here) then you should check out my youtube channel's Patreon account, in the description of every video! Along with my Patreon, you can also find my Twitter and Discord server!


	24. Crawling

The first thing Naruto saw upon opening his eyes was green. Much more green than even he was used to in Konoha’s forests. The humid atmosphere of the jungle nation produces masses of moss on walls and streets, and the canopy of a single titanic tree spreads across the top of the village, resulting in dim but comfortable natural lighting. The tree’s root systems have grown throughout a massive plateau at the middle of the village, then used as supports for a plethora of homes built on the mossy cliffsides. Staircases wind up the cliff, parted by waterfalls descending from the lake upon the plateau, at the center of which the enormous tree emerges. “Whoa…” He slowly picks his jaw up and grins. “… I’m gonna climb that.”

Ino facepalms. “Of course that would be your first thought.”

“Hey, it’s a viable move!” He crosses his arms and turns to glare at her. “We’re here looking for how someone snuck in and stole something, the tree is an easy route to escape overhead.” He looks to the Taki shinobi escorting them. “Have the branches been searched?”

They look to one another, then back to him and nod. “Yes, but a second sweep is planned.”

Sasuke nods. “I’m in. With my Sharingan seeing chakra, I might be able to notice signs of them using something like the Fish Projection Jutsu to move through the branches.”

Yoko yaps over Naruto’s shoulder. “Ah right. She’s in to try and sniff out a trail.”

One of the Taki anbu steps up for a closer look. “I wasn’t informed that they were sending someone with Inuzuka clan training, let alone someone not of the clan with those skills.”

Kakashi chuckles as he reaches down and ruffles Naruto’s hair. “Yeah, these kids take after me in some pretty awesome ways. I’ll have Pakkun and Urushi on it too.” Yoko peeks up to Kakashi and tilts her head. “Yes, I’m bringing Urushi for you.” Yoko’s tail wags frantically.

Sakura rolls her eyes. “Well, I’ll join you three on that, then. Cover more ground.”

Shikamaru scratches his head. “Well, we should check the site of the murder first.”

Asuma nods and pulls out a fresh cigarette, lighting it with his thumb. “I’ll check the body, get a grasp on what skill sets the perp is using. All those years dealing with assassins, ya learn to figure out people’s talents by inspecting a wound.”

Ino hums. “Do you have a list of all the shinobi closest to the incident that survived, and anyone suspicious?”

“Of course.” The anbu’s head tilts slightly, noticing something amidst the trees nearby. “I have a few suspicions of my own. I see you’re a Yamanaka. Do you intend to check them for genjutsu?”

Ino snaps her finger and grins. “Of course! It’s what my clan does best.”

Chouji hums. “Hey, Asuma-sensei, you mind if I follow team 7? I won’t be much help with a body or suspects, but I can help them search easily enough. Also…” Chouji reaches into his pocket and pulls out a small list. “My dad caught wind that the mission would be here and gave me a grocery list for some delicacies here.” He grins ear to ear. “Mushrooms from here are the best.”

One of their guiding shinobi chuckles. “Yeah, can’t argue that. Chouza-san always walks out of here with a scroll packed with our best.” He sighs. “But, before you split up, you need to meet with our Standing Chief and Captain.”

Kakashi’s head raises. “Standing Chief? What happened to Hisen?”

The anbu sighs deeply and adjusts his mask. “We lost our esteemed chief on the night of the break-in. Signs of strain in his body suggest he had used the Hero Water sample reserved for the Chief to attempt to stop them, but… he was quickly dealt with while under it’s effects. Whoever’s responsible for this is a genuine monster.”

Asuma takes a long drag from his cigarette and hangs his head. “Damn it all… Well, how’s Shibuku handling it?”

“Frankly, abysmally. He’s fine with politics, but his nerves are shot, and grieving has proven difficult when he’s overcome with fear.”

Sasuke clenches his fists. “Well… hopefully, we can find solid enough answers to settle his mind.”

Naruto nods and shoves his hands in his pockets. “Alright… Lead the way. Sooner I can get up there and find some answers, the better.”

The trek through the village is scenic and calming, managing to put most of them at a good baseline by the time they arrive. The gentle roar of the waterfalls and soothing mists are comforting, almost hypnotic. The Kyuubi keeps telling Naruto he needs to work on meditation. Maybe setting himself beneath one of these falls will help. The ones here somehow feel… different. But he can’t put his finger on it yet.

Once they reach the tops of the cliffs, they take a short boat ride across the lake. Peeking down into it, the waters prove crystalline and provide a gorgeous view of the roots winding together in the lakebed, inhabited by countless exotic fish in a myriad of colors.

Finally, they reach the shore beneath the tree’s gigantic trunk and a mansion nestled into it’s gargantuan roots. An aged shinobi with cloudy gray hair and a bushy beard blending together to nearly form a storm cloud around his wrinkled face stands between them and the doors. Kakashi steps up front of the crew and waves. “Kumotori-san. I see you’re doing well. The beard’s a nice addition.”

“Yeah, hides this hideous mug well enough.” He snorts. “And look at you, finally a functional sensei. I thought I’d never see you training a group of brats.”

Naruto huffs. “I’ll have you know we are _the_ group of brats. We work hard to torture him enough for that title.”

Kumotori’s eyes fall on Naruto and he slowly grins through his beard. “Oh, I know someone who’s gonna love you. Alright, get in here and let’s get to work.” He waves them over and he piles into the foyer to find the young Chief waiting for them.

He is still quite young, a mere 20 years old and rather short for his age, wearing something quite reminiscent of Haku’s yakuta, with a red scarf. His eyes are slightly sunken, sleep deprived and focused on some imperceptible concept more than the shinobi standing before him. Despite his turmoil, he bows. “Good afternoon. Thank you all for coming so quickly to aid my village. For the unaware genin, I am Shibuki, the acting Chief of Takigakure, in my father’s place.”

Asuma bows to the young man. “It’s a pleasure to see you again, Shibuki-sama. You’ve grown well since we last met.”

After a few moments, his stern yet emotionless gaze softens into a smile. “Asuma-san, no need to be so formal with me. It’s great to see you again, and you as well, Kakashi-san. And I believe I recognize one of your students.” He slowly steps closer. “Chouji-san, current? Chouza’s son?”

Chouji nods and bows as well. “Yes sir!” When he raises his head, he’s a bit sheepish. “Did my dad really talk about me that much when he was here?”

“Oh, incessantly. Your father may be a humble man, but all of that goes out the window the moment he starts talking about you.”

Chouji grumbles and hunches, but Naruto can’t help but chuckle a bit as he realizes he finally knows how that feels. “Ah, suck it up Chouji. Now…” Naruto steps up and crosses his arms. “Uzumaki Naruto reporting for duty! Konoha’s latest trap master and tracker.” Yoko yaps from his hood. “Ok, Yoko here’s the tracker, but she’s employed by me.” Yoko growls. “Yes I do. I pay you in belly rubs, treats, and easy access to Urushi.” She whines, but relents.

Shibuki is a bit taken aback by Naruto’s odd mannerisms, but he can’t stop the heavy-hearted laugh this absurdity managed to shake free. “Well, I look forward to working with you, young man. Just be sure that any traps you place are with full disclosure to myself and my staff and guides to disarming them.”

Naruto nods and rubs his hands together maliciously. “Oh, I’m gonna have fun with it. Ya see, I’ve been working on seals triggered by specific sign combinations in close proximity. I can connect that to both an activation and deactivation clause-”

Shibuki crosses his arms with one finger up over his mouth and hums at the thought. “Resulting in one set of information used to trick a traitor or spy and catch them in the trap, with the other being a fully functional deactivation sequence. Brilliant work! I’m a bit rusty on seals myself been focused on more physical training as of late, but it’s part of the duty of Takigakure’s chief to be at least moderately literate in sealing.” He bows. “Seeing the mind of a true Uzumaki Sealmaster in the making at work is enlightening.”

Naruto’s jaw drops and he babbles for a moment. “S-Sealmaster? No, I’m n-nowhere near that good yet, I don’t even have a proper sensei to teach me! I’m almost entirely self-taught, and I’ve got a hell of a long way to go!”

Shibuki chuckles softly as he uprights himself. “Indeed, but I already see potential. Now, I can see what your task is. What of the rest of you?”

A quick reiteration of plans determined on the way is quickly memorized, and Shibuki nods in agreement. “A solid strategy. I leave you to your work, then. Kumotori, please escort Asuma-san and his students to your offices to inspect the body and interrogate the suspects. And Kakashi-san, if I may, I’d appreciate a word with you in private before you and your students leave. It may be best for them to wait outside.”

Kumotori nods and waves for Asuma, Ino, and Shikamaru to follow. The remaining students follow them out and wait outside the doors, while Kakashi looks to Tsubuki and puts his book away. “It’s interesting, seeing you take charge. I’m sorry for your loss, but I know your father would be proud of how you’re handling things here now.”

After a few moments, Shibuki sighs shakily and hangs his head, managing to let just a few years free. He’s always seen Kakashi as someone he could relate to somewhat amongst the elites, being a mere six years apart. He’s willing to let his walls down just a tad in his presence. “Thank you, Kakashi-san.” He takes a moment to calm himself before raising his head. “Now, on to business. Your students are all an interesting bunch. The newest generation of Ino-Shika-Cho is surely welcome. I recognize the last Uchiha well, having met his traitorous brother in his innocent youth. The pink girl I’m not quite sure of, but Naruto… He’s exactly who I believe him to be, isn’t he?”

Kakashi huffs and nods. “Of course you’d recognize him. But I feel there’s more than just his looks and sealing talents that cued you in. So, do tell.”

Shibuki looks to the windows, gazing off into the sky. “Our own Jinchuuriki, Fū, sensed his presence approaching earlier and got rather giddy about it. I suspect she’ll be stalking him for hours and looking for the right moment to approach.”

“Hmm?” Kakashi follows his gaze to the window, noticing a speck of red amongst the branches. “I see. Will this be a problem, or should I let it happen?”

“Frankly, it may be good for them both. Fū has always been excitable, but quite lonely. Meeting another of her own kind with such an inviting disposition should go wonderfully.”

Kakashi nods and pulls his book back out. “Sounds good to me. I’ll try not to interrupt if I see her approaching, then. And if any of your own staff try to bother her?”

“You have my permission to deal with them as you see fit.”

“Duly noted. Now go get some sleep, you look like you’re about to fall over.” Kakashi turns and saunters out, leaving Shibuki to sigh and nod in agreement as he makes his way back upstairs.

Soon enough, Naruto and company are making their way up the side of the titanic tree to search it’s branches, and Naruto is pulling his communication seal from his collar and up under his headband. _“Hey, am I coming in clearly?”_

**_“Yes, brat, you’re coming in fine. Hmm… This tree is holding up quite well after all this time, without Hashirama maintaining it.”_ **

_“The Shodaime? So he made this tree?”_

**_“Back in the feudal era, before the villages. Taki was actually one of the first to take up the village structure, back before I was first sealed. Before even Konoha was founded. The place has grown considerably, but they put it here because they recognized the protection and rare properties this Mokuton-grown tree carries. Hence the Hero Water shrine that was broken into recently.”_ **

_“Wait, is that using nature energy like Ero-Sennin mentioned?”_

**_“Indeed. Impressive work, as much as I hate the man. All the nature energy here is throwing off my senses, not quite used to it anymore. Now that I’m adjusting, I’m starting to pick up on a very familiar chakra signature here. I’d forgotten what worthless village she’d been given to.”_** He grumbles. **_“My sister, the Nanabi, is nearby. Her jinchuuriki seems interested in you.”_**

Naruto loses chakra control for a moment and almost falls off the tree, causing his teammates, Chouji, and several Taki shinobi to stare at him. _“There’s another fucking jinchuuriki here?! Where are they?”_

**_“Buzzing around somewhere overhead. My sibling sealed in her is a giant insect, so her jinchuuriki tend to be able to fly once properly trained. But that makes it harder to sense her, hidden among all the nature energy drawn to the leaves of this Senju-grown tree.”_ **

_“Ya don’t say?”_ He grumbles. _“Well, I’ll wait for them to come to me then.”_

**_“For the best. You have work to do.”_ **

For now, Naruto focuses on regaining his footing on the tree and keeping up with the team.

The search is… difficult. Sasuke finds that his eyes can’t penetrate the tree and view chakra distortions within due to the concentration of it within the wood, an unnatural amount energy of a kind he can’t quite identify until Naruto informs him of natural energy.

Sakura and Chouji focus on more conventional tracking, finding no branches damaged and no signs of sheared bark. Yoko is likewise stumped, but does manage to pick up a light scent of a chemical, something she grumbles about being similar to scents near Konoha’s hospital and funeral homes. Whoever did this was very sterile, whether that be due to technique or attempts to wash away their own scent with something generic is uncertain.

It’s not until Naruto is a good distance from the rest of the group that he suddenly hears something buzzing towards him. Moments later, a girl with a caramel complexion and green hair lands in front of him, a set of insect wings retreating into a red cylinder strapped to her back. She stands before him in the branches, arms tucked behind her as she looks him over. “Hmmm… so you’re Number Nine, huh?”

Naruto frantically looks around for a moment. “Um, y-you really shouldn’t talk about that in public.” He sighs and scratches his head. “But… yeah. He warned me you were nearby, Seven.”

“Warned?” She tilts her head, then raises it a bit and rolls her eyes. “Ah, right. Choumei told me he’s not too eager to talk to most of his siblings.”

Naruto grumbles. “Damnit, she already told you her name? The Kyuubi won’t tell me shit yet.”

**_“Hey, I tell you plenty! I’m a fountain of ancient wisdom!”_ **

_“Never tell me anything about yourself!”_

“Yeah…” Naruto’s attention is drawn back to the girl before him. “It took a while for her to trust me enough, but we’re pretty close now. She already mentioned his name accidentally, but apparently a lot of Biju consider learning their name to be a right of passage. Choumei’s not really one of them, though. She’s actually really talkative.” She giggles nervously. “Oh, right, speaking of which, I got ahead of myself. I’m Fū!”

Naruto stares for just a moment, but sighs and hangs his head with a smile. “Well Fū, I’m Naruto.” He reaches up and crosses his arms behind his head. “Kyuubi Jinchuurii, trap master, and future Hokage!”

Fu smirks and saunters closer. “Hokage, huh? Damn, one of us becoming a Kage… after what happened in Kiri, that’d be one hell of a thing to see. But if you’re that good, I kinda wanna fight you to see it for myself.”

Naruto’s smile slowly grows into a feral grin. “Really? Well, if my sensei and Shibuki let us, I’m all for it!”

“Naruto!” Kakashi calls out. “What did I tell you about accepting fights from everyone that challenges you?”

“Only if there’s a good bet involved?”

“That or…” Sasuke cuts in. “if they’re a self-professed honor-bound prick who won’t take no for an answer.”

“Both correct.”

Sakura hangs her head and grumbles. “Damnit, why doesn’t anyone wanna challenge me?”

.

* * *

.

Asuma paces the autopsy chamber with a hand over his mouth. He needs a smoke more than ever, and he can’t light one in a sterile room, but there’s no way he’s leaving soon.

These bodies are atrocious. The damage sustained is frankly confusing. A pair of debilitating wounds to each, targeting vocal cords and Achilles tendons, keeping them from calling for help or running. Cold and efficient, and with the purpose. With efficiency like that, they could have killed them in an instant with a similar strike to the back of the neck or a major artery, but they clearly had the goal of keeping the targets alive for a few more moments.

The culprit stole their still-beating hearts. The wounds just beneath their ribs are wide open, having clearly been in them up to their elbows to reach for their hearts and pull them out manually. Surgical precision and sadism in equal measure. He hasn’t seen anything of the sort since Orochimaru, but he prefers full test subjects over organs, and there was surely nothing special about these hearts in particular. So then, why?

.

* * *

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A.N.: And I'm back! Sorry for the delays A few bouts of depression and rushing to expand my youtube channel got in the way. But, I'm really in a creative swing lately, and although I struggled with this chapter, I came up with a tone of great ideas I'm eager for moving forward that'll really speed things up! Meanwhile, over on my P8treon, I've for a poll going to determine my next speedpaint for the channel, with one of the options being my version of Naruto! So be sure to check that out and vote on it!


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